|
Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Wausau, WI
Posts: 13,383
S/C/G: SW:394/310/180
Height: 5'6"
|
It's easy to guess and speculate about the motives and thought processes behind someone else's behavior (especially if they've gotten into the media spotlight -whether or not intentionally).
Most of the time, I think we're far more likely to be wrong than right. Which is why I generally do try to avoid most of the reality show and gossip coverage, but it's difficult, because the story is so compelling (if only in a traffic-accident way), of the media coverage, and the popularity in every day conversations for people to bring it up.
From what I have seen on the situation, I feel badly for Nadya, her children, and her parents. I think there are probably some severe issues going on, but they may not be the ones I think they are. There are a thousand possibilities. Because of the extreme (to my eyes) plastic surgery, I strongly suspect body dismorphic disorder, but she might also have had a lousy plastic surgeon. I believe the family has talked about severe clinical depression especially post-partum depression (which can cause delusions and psychotic episodes, an irrational desire for more children, is well within the possible effects). I also suspect an OCD "hoarding" component, which (hoarding that is) is being coverend in another thread.
It's interesting to me that she gets so little sympathy, when there's been more given (on this website) in the hoarder's thread toward the woman hoarding rotting vegetables. It's true that vegetables aren't living beings, but working in the mental health field with a masters' degree in psychology - I've seen hoarders of all types, and I think Octomom fits much of the profile (though I may be completely wrong).
If she is an ocd-driven hoarder, the urge to "collect" is virtually uncontrollable without medication AND counseling. While it's true that hoarding children is exceedingly rare - but mostly because until now (and I'd argue even now far more often than not) it's been virtually impossible. Having children "naturally" it would be impossible to have 14 children all under the age of 8. Being given non-birthed children would be unlikely (but possible, if she were willing to adopt or foster hard-to-place, especially handicapped children, even so - whether in an adoptive or a naturally-born huge huge family, children's ages are far more spaced out to the point that older children are able to help raise and care for the younger children.
I think Nadya's case, most closely parallel's animal hoarders. People who hoard pet animals often have the "best" of intentions. They believe they are rescuing the critters (and it often starts that way) but when the numbers get out of control, the urge to rescue more is still there. They bond so closely to each animal, that even though animals may be sick or dying because of lack of care, care they don't have the resources to provide, that they can't bare to part with any of them - even temporarily for treatment.
It Nadya does have the ocd hoarder's "need" for pregnancy/children - it would be exceedingly difficult for her to fight it. Rational thought isn't likely to win out over the irrational thoughts and impulses without a lot of intervention (and usually drugs).
She did admit, I saw in a commercial clip on tv, and in bold writing in a tabloid at the grocery checkout that she dod "admit it was a mistake," and said she only expected one or two babies to be born (would 7 or 8 still have been nearly as idiotic as 14? Maybe).
I've also heard in the ubiquitous gossip, that she has fired many nannies/nurses that were sent to assist her with the children. On one hand, it makes her look to many people like an arrogant evil bi(never mind), but it really fits with the hoarder theory too. OCD hoarder's go a bit wonky when anyone interferes or attempts to assist in their situation. Their anxiety goes through the roof, and the irrational thoughts/behaviors escalate.
One thing that did start me thinking about her mental state differently than my first (and negative) impression, is finding out that all of her children were conceived in vitro at the same time (from one donation of sperm). Because Nadya believes (I do too, for that matter) that life begins at conception, and she couldn't accept that those remaining embryos would need to be discarded (killed) or given to couples she didn't know (because it would, essentially be HER children away).
I think the most irresponsible person in the situation wasn't Nadya, but her doctor. Her family knew she had a problem, and went to the doctor and begged him not to do any more embryo transfers (which according to Nadya's mother, the doctor did promise he wouldn't, but later did the implantation anyway). Then, not only did he do the implantation, but he implanted ALL of them (which I later learned is completely against the standard practice, which is to never implant more than 3 embryos in a woman under 35, because of the good success rate).
Personally I think (and I could be wrong), the doctor implanted all of the remaining embryos to be able to more quickly wash his hands of her. I hope I'm not true there, because he would also have known how unlikely it was for all (or even any) babies to survive with that many implanted. The risks to the life of Nadya was also much increased. So, if he was willing to risk the lives of all eight fetuses AND the life of a mother of eight small children just for the money, or so he wouldn't have to deal with her again, I think he bears as much, or more responsibility than Nadya herself.
I think it's easy to say that she "should have" known better or sought conseling, etc.... but when a person has such severe irrational thoughts and impulses, they're also unaware that those thoughts and impulses ARE irrational. Whether they want another kitten, or another baby - it makes all the sense in the world to them, at the time. Or, they may even know THAT it's irrational, but may be unable to fight the impulse anyway. So, they either avoid necessary treatment/assistance because they feel they don't need it, or because they feel something even more horrible than their current situation will befall them if their situation is altered or affected in any way.
If a generic stuff/junk hoarder for example, has four foot piles of trash in every square inch of the home, if someone comes in and moves (let alone disposes of) so much as a single paper cup, piece of junkmial or a pizza crust - it sends them into a fit of anxiety and sometimes even panic. They probably can't explain why they need the item(s), they just know that they do.
All my suppositions may be false (I'd almost guarantee that at least one of them is), and she truly may be a selfish, attention-seeking ego-maniac. However, I think my guesses are just as likely.
Last edited by kaplods; 08-22-2009 at 03:32 PM.
|
I'm catching up on what I've missed the last few days and this just cracks me up! 
