My husband and I also struggle with this. I had a clean your plate parents and I do now suffer from not knowing proper portions. His clean the palate family went as far as getting out a slice of white bread to wipe up any juices. Now for our kids he wants them to finish what is in front of them. Even if they say that they are full. We have discussed how the clean your plate theroy effected me. But then he is healthy active and not overweight except the 5lbs he gets during the winter that he burns off in his first spring bike ride! lol We cant come to a compromise. So I either let the kids server there own portions OR I dish out little servings and give them the opportunity to ask for seconds if neccesariy which is not often. So they end up with a clean plate but are eating kid appropriate sized portions. Hopefully it helps break the cycle and there are no fights every night waiting for kids to eat it all.

When you are dealing with little kids, I can see where some people may want them to make a "happy plate" before they head back out to play. Having kids of my own...all grown up now....and a lot of nieces and nephews....when they were little they just wanted to go back out and play....then 1/2 hour later...after dinner mess is all cleaned up...we would get that.. "I'm hungry"

I don't make my children clean their plates at home either. I do make them at least taste everything on their plate. But, once a meal is over, they know the meal is over. Even if it's not their favorite food they will eat enough to limp by on until next meal time. EZ, the problem is that habits encouraged as children, often follow into adulthood. Suddenly, there you are at 30 years old sitting with a plate filled with three portions of chinese buffet and still thinking, "I gotta make a happy plate!"

Oh I totally understand THIGHS, and I never made my kids clean their plate. I think I'm just trying to say that for some people out there, making the decision on the "happy plate" for the child can be difficult based on how they "grew" from experiences they had as children and as an adult. I think some folks may have a harder time figuring out when that plate is really "happy" for the child.

When did this expression "happy plate" get started? With my generation (1960s) it was "clean your plate" and I got my fair share of the "children are starving in [insert third-world nation]" as well

Might help to remember that the children who were starving for those parents who taught, "Clean your plate" were they themselves here in America. Many of those folks came out of the Great Depression and learned to eat when you have it for there may not be food at the next meal.

Being a child of the 60's myself...."clean your plate" meant you better wash it if you want to go back out and play!

We get this from DSS a lot - he eats one bite of dinner and then says "I'm done, can I play now?" Ten minutes later he wants a snack on the couch watching tv... We are not letting him have a snack right after dinner, so he is slowly breaking out of that habit. He gets a little milk and a few fruit loops or cheerios while we watch a little cartoon before bed, but no snack other than that anymore after dinner. And, it is a small one. Trying to teach him his toys will still be there after he finishes eating is tough!

To make it simple here so I am not always in the kitchen since they are never hungry at the same time I got very structured. Breakfast 7:30, snack 10 am lunch noon, snack right after school, dinner 6 then one or the other dessert or bed time snack. Beats having 3+ kids asking for food and drink all day long. Thinking of having dinner right after school at 4 then snack @ 6 since they go to bed at 8 it would lighten up and dinner will tide them over longer and not sit in thier stomach in the evening. But weekends we usually have dinner at lunch hour.

maybe its time to redefine what a happy plate is.
a happy plate could be one that is divided into three pieces- half the plate for veggies, and a 1/4 each for protein and grains! how big does a happy plate have to be? kid sized, or mom sized? what color is it? your favorite color!
i'd say if you had a picky eater, or a kid that likes to run back outside instead of eating (better then running to the Wii if you ask me) - then why not try to use an educational tool to help them. But- a happy plate should never be a clean plate. it should be a well balanced plate, a plate that maybe convinces them to eat a little more, or a little better?
I think that might have motivated me when I was a tiny picky little kid.

Wise word from the ladies...this does not surprise me.