I am aware fully that some children, due to their personalities, are easier to be around than others...but I don't think that is favoring so much.
What I am talking about (and both myself, and my husband have experienced) is one OBVIOUSLY being the favorite.
For instance, on my dad's side of the family, my grandmother favored my female cousin over me. (The rest were boys.) It was so obvious, that she didn't ever ask me to spend the night, ask me to do things with her, etc. but always did Kristy. There was even an incident where I wanted something for my birthday, and actually asked my grandmother for it (It was a Smurfette stuffed animal, BTW.) and when my birthday came around, my cousin had a Smurfette in her room, and I found out that it was my grandmother who bought it for her for no special day at all. I never got one...
The funny thing is, is that out of all of her grandchildren, I am pretty much a carbon copy of my grandmother. I look like her, have her mannerisms, her artistic abilities, about 90% of her body type/shape...and we are even the same astrology sign. She died 7 years ago, when I was pregnant with my second child...and to this day, my grandfather cannot see me without crying-the resemblance is that striking. I have to say that it is an odd experience-resembling someone SO much physically and talentwise...when you always felt that the person never liked you all that much. It's a constant reminder.
My husband has two younger sisters that he grew up with (he has other siblings...long story) and the middle child was the "favorite". Actually, she was, and still is, babied. Jason and his youngest sister had to work for everything, and the middle child didn't. She is favored and spoiled not only by the parents, but by the maternal grandparents as well-to the point that she is almost 30 years old, and has never made a car payment. (Grandpa keeps her in a vehicle...) She also had her college paid for...while my husband had to pay for his own student loans, etc. It has even trickled down into our children. They are pretty much raising her 2 year old child, and apparently he walks on water. I had my youngest child just a few weeks apart from when she had hers...and they were at the hospital with loads of gifts for them...and they didn't even come and see OUR son for over a week, and brought nothing.
Well, by far, my favorite is my 3 year-old. My two-year old can be such a pain and she pooped on the floor twice this week. The two one-year olds - well they are ok but I barely ever see them. So, yep, definitely going with the 3 year old. Plus he is the only human so we have that in common.
My mouth definitely fell open at first, but reading the ending made me laugh out loud!
I don't have children, but speaking for my parents they make it very well known that they love us and appreciate us equally. My sister and I used to try to catch them on "Who is your favorite?!" all the time when we were little and they would never fall for it. Neither of us were ever treated better or worse than the other, even if one of us did something seriously naughty. Having our Mom and Dad as our parents is a blessing that I thank God for every day.
I don't think I love my 2 teenage boys unequally, but maybe "differently". They are such different kids. The older is more reserved, usually more mature/responsible (although not always!), brilliant, but more theoretical than practical, a GREAT kid and my first child. The second one is funny/outgoing, more happy-go-lucky but more practical in many ways, more like me so we we tend to tangle more, a GREAT kid, and my baby. They've both driven me crazy at times, and also made me so proud in many ways. How could I pick one over the other?
I don't think I could love or show my son and daughter more love to each than I do. I think that shows in how much they love and respect each other and their spouses, myself and their mom and step-mom.
My relationship with each is so unique and special yet they overlap....
My daughter's favorite player was always her brother, whether it was track, cross-country, roller hockey, basketball or baseball....she rarely missed a game....my son never missed a chance to watch his sister in her dance recitals or tennis matches.
My son took an extra year of college to pursue another degree then had a teaching credential year....therefore he and his sister graduated college on the same day from different colleges...at the same time.....
he didn't walk with his college....allowing ALL of us to go see his sister, including himself.
I have a friend that favors his children and grandchildren....very obviously....it is not a pretty picture.
My parents have always tried to be fair about everything. I graduated university in 4 years. It's taken my brother 5 years with summer school every year. Since my brother was getting more "money" for his education. they helped me buy a car for my job. I've never felt that one of us was the favourite and I'm glad for that. I have a friend who always always get the short end of the stick so to speak and it drives me nuts. It's so bad sometimes that my mom has even commented on it to my friends mom (our mom's are friends).
However, when my brother and I were little we'd ask who the favourite was. If I aksed my mom would respond with my brother. If my brother asked I was the favourite. It used to make me so mad...
Everyone thought I was my mom's favorite, but I think the situation was just too confusing. I was born 7 years after my youngest brother, my mom divorced BioDad when I was 5 and her life and career took off.
Although Mom never really wanted children, I was the most unwanted pregnancy due to circumstances. Then came the guilt of those feelings and the improvement in her lifestyle. It's not that she favored me, it was just that she felt guilty about the fact that she didn't have much for the older kids and tried to make up for it on me.
The older kids are also pretty good at not noticing that I was the one who got to help my step dad pick up the emotional garbage that her first marriage left her with after they all ran away from it(understandably, but still...).
After her funeral I pointed out to my oldest sis that 1) She got 15 more yrs. with Mom, and 2) She got to start out life with a halfway decent family life for the first 10 years before BioDad went completely nuts. I think that kinda helped her get over some of the jealousy.
PS: Mom often said she never had a Wanted Pregnancy, but she also never had an Unwanted Child.
Last edited by Operator265; 10-17-2008 at 04:08 PM.
