I want to be beautiful and smart (I am beautiful and smart?). Do I want to be thin? Sure, but that's more on a surface level. Deep down, I want to be beautiful, healthy, wise, loving, joyful, and loved
I love how you put this. Couldn't have said it better for myself.
The thought of being Stephen Hawkings smart is a nice fantasy
there's talent and imagination too, which doesn't necessarily go hand in hand with being smart/intelligent. lots of things to wish for and work on in this life!
Last edited by dragonwoman64; 01-30-2011 at 03:08 PM.
While my first instinct and the one that most of society would deem the "correct" response would be intelligence, I'm really thinking about how I would love to be beautiful. I completely disregard the thin aspect because I'm a curvy, muscular girl and enjoy being healthy.
But beauty...I am not attractive. And I have accepted that. I just know I have to let my inner aspects shine to show that I have an attractive personality. Fair game, but it's harder work when it comes to getting dates.
While I highly value my intelligence, if given the chance I would probably give it up to be beautiful for a day. I'm not going to lie to myself and pretend that I don't want to be beautiful, or that I don't care.
But, I am happy and have accepted myself, so this question isn't something I ever think about. There are a lot of or's in life, but there are also a lot of and's.
I've always been smart (head of the class smart, I even qualify for MENSA membership based on my ACT score). Since IQ is assumed to be permanent I will still qualify (because ACT scores for the year I took mine qualify).
I've always considered myself attractive, despite my weight. It may have been "beautiful compared to other women my size" but it still felt like beauty (especially when boyfriends said it with such sincerity).
I'm losing my beauty and my intelligence. As I'm losing weight, signs of aging are showing (I especially hate the underarm "flaps," I look like an old, bald, fat, flying squirrel). I also have fibromyalgia and other health issues that are affecting the functioning of my brain. My memory (which once was virtually photographic), especially short-term memory is almost worthless. I used to be an effortless good speller, now I find myself spelling phonetically (when I proofread I catch most of it, but it's still scary to see myself spell common words wrong or have to look up words I know that I used to know).
During severe flares my brain function is so bad, I can put myself and others in jeopardy. My husband will not only tell me that he can tell it's not safe for me to cook, if he has to leave the appartment will put a huge note on the stove "Colleen, please do not use the stove," and a note in my craft room "Please do not use cutting or heating tools."
So which is worse, losing my mind or losing attractiveness? Both suck, but it's losing my intelligence that is the most frightening. Ugly I will still be me, but if my brain functioning gets worse, will I still be me?
The fear of losing me is so much greater than anything I've ever imagined. When it first started becoming noticeable, I was terrified, especially since so many of the possible explanations were progressive diseases (like early onset Alzheimer's).
As it turns out, cognitive impairment is often part of fibromyalgia. It's probably not progressive, but it's also something I'll probably have to deal with for the rest of my life. Losing part of my brain function (even if it is only temporary, during bad flares) has been so much more frightening than losing physical attractiveness (maybe because I have a husband who never makes me feel ugly).
I think I'd be willing to become hideous looking (hide in a cave, hideous) to get predictable control over my mind back.
I have been just average and now I'm told often that I'm "beautiful" and I've always been smart. I have to admit, I'd pick beauty any day. Intelligence sucks and often makes life hard, when you know too much, think to much, and understand too much, it can bring much pain.
Call me crazy but i would rather be smart. Looks arent everything. I dont want men staring at me because im the hot chick that they think will put out...Id rather have intellegence. Im a big conversationalist and if im not smart i cant carry on a decent conversation with someone.
On the other hand looks can get you what you want i suppose...you know the ones who show a little more skin because they are beautiful and get that raise, or let go from a ticket (yes ive seen it work). But im of the opinion my body is a temple it is ment to be worshipped in private. So smarts it is!
Kaplods, how terribly scary for you to know that you can't rely on your brain 100% of the time. I'm sorry you are dealing with that. And as far as the flaps of skin under your arms, I'll tell you what I said to a client just yesterday. She is 40 and has lost 115 lbs. Surgery is not an option for her. I told her to wear her flaps as wings of courage, determination and success, much like a mother wears her stretch marks. She liked that one.
So....Beauty or brains? This is funny to me. As a tall blonde, who is not ugly (trying to be modest here ) people seem to assume I'm stupid before they get to know me. I've had people say to me that they didn't know I was smart until after they talked to me. What - do I LOOK stupid?? LOL
So it should read, "Would you rather be thin/beautiful-and-assumingly-stupid or smart".
IMO, in today's culture, if you are better looking, you have a better chance at success - economically and socially. Pretty (dumb) people can be good at faking intelligence, too. LOL Plus, with today's technology, you can pretty much immediately look up anything you need to know.
Gosh does that sound petty. But I have to admit, it's true. I don't think I'd be living my life, so fun and full of activity that I love, if I were only smart. Like I always say, your brain can do little good if your body can't get you to work. You can get further ahead at work if your appearance is apealing to others.
Kaplods, how terribly scary for you to know that you can't rely on your brain 100% of the time. I'm sorry you are dealing with that. And as far as the flaps of skin under your arms, I'll tell you what I said to a client just yesterday. She is 40 and has lost 115 lbs. Surgery is not an option for her. I told her to wear her flaps as wings of courage, determination and success, much like a mother wears her stretch marks. She liked that one.
The memory issues are scary, but as with most things in my life, seeing the funny side makes it less threatening.
I have to admit that I do have a different view of stretch marks since I saw a male comedian talk about how sexy he found his wife or girlfriend's stretch marks. "Striped like a tiger," he said.
Bat (or flying squirrel) wings I'm having a harder time thinking of as sexy (or as badges of courage and accomplishment). Although funny is sexy (at least to hubby and I), and they certainly are funny.
A while back (noticing the bat wings for the first time) I was fascinated (and mildly horrified way) and was using my left hand to bat at the right "wing" to watch it swing (I had gone to bed). I was so absorbed in my semi-horrified experiment, I didn't notice my husband walking in, and he started laughing so hard, which made me start laughing really hard, and (well as I've said my husband and I find funny very sexy, so let's just leave it at that).
I've never been extraordinarily body conscious. I'm not saying "never" but in comparison to other women my size and age, I've always been less body-conscious or beauty-conscious than average. Maybe because it's because I do like everything about who I am on the inside (well not everything, but the general package).
You can always worry about not being smart enough or pretty enough, and a lot of people do waste a lot of time doing so. Even very beautiful people can fear that they're not beautiful enough and end up plastic surgery addicts. Even the smartest people can worry that they're not smart enough, and that can destroy them too if they always feel the need to prove they're more intelligent than the people they're with.
So....Beauty or brains? This is funny to me. As a tall blonde, who is not ugly (trying to be modest here ) people seem to assume I'm stupid before they get to know me. I've had people say to me that they didn't know I was smart until after they talked to me. What - do I LOOK stupid?? LOL
So it should read, "Would you rather be thin/beautiful-and-assumingly-stupid or smart".
IMO, in today's culture, if you are better looking, you have a better chance at success - economically and socially. Pretty (dumb) people can be good at faking intelligence, too. LOL Plus, with today's technology, you can pretty much immediately look up anything you need to know.
Gosh does that sound petty. But I have to admit, it's true. I don't think I'd be living my life, so fun and full of activity that I love, if I were only smart. Like I always say, your brain can do little good if your body can't get you to work. You can get further ahead at work if your appearance is apealing to others.
It is a bit off-putting when people look at you and assume you're an idiot, isn't it? I've had that happen too, although in my case it has been because I'm fat and possibly ugly. It sure can be fun to shut jerks like that down.
Good looks (and a thin figure) can be helpful to people, but if they're not intelligent enough to use the breaks they've been given well, then they're just wasting resources. It's worth noting that looks and/or weight are relatively or completely unimportant in a number of fields, and that some people's social circles are defined more by common interests and goals than looks. Intelligent, ugly people may not get the breaks or rewards they deserve as often as they should, but I think that they're often in a better position to fight for recognition, make their own breaks, and make the best use of whatever they are given.
Faking intelligence works - until it doesn't. Google can only take a person so far. The people who make the biggest differences to society in the long run are the ones who can think about problems critically and creatively, are able and willing to do the work needed to find out how to solve them, and then actually try to solve them. People who can’t do that get themselves and others into bad situations that could have been prevented, and then often can’t get themselves out without significant assistance (if it’s available).
(tangent)In my opinion, the social acceptability in the US of "faking" intelligence, knowledge, and diligence, combined with a general fixation on novelty, the ephemeral, and speed (of solutions to problems (even if the solutions proposed are obviously going to be ineffective or counterproductive), of work, of life in general) is one of the most destructive dynamics at work in the country, and one of the main reasons it’s losing technological and political ground to countries with better educational systems and the ambition to become king of the hill. It’s cool to be ignorant and act dumb, and I think it’s going to cost this country its place in the world, its prosperity, and possibly the freedom of its citizens. (/tangent)
Intelligent, ugly people may not be as likely to be tangibly successful as intelligent or stupid people who are attractive, but I think intelligent people (pretty and ugly) are more likely to actually make a difference in the way the world (or at least their little part of it) works. I think they may also be more likely to be content with definitions of success that deviate from the mainstream definition, but that’s just a guess based on personal experience and anecdotal evidence.
ETA: This is not intended as a personal attack or anything like that. Just rolling ideas around.
old thread... but funny it's been bumped up because I've been thinking about this often.
In today's world, I'd have to pick thin/beautiful. Maybe I'm on the outside looking in, but it just seems good looks take you further in life. There has been articles that good looking people are more likely to get hired. In general, good looking people tend to have people lend them a hand when needed, from simply walking into a store and the sales clerk asking the thinner/pretty girl if she needs anything and ignoring the chubby girl to bigger things. It's pretty much how the world works, people judge based on looks and if you aren't good looking most people won't get to know if you are smart, nice or what type of person you are.
Of course it would be nice to have both, if you are thin/beautiful you want to make sure you have the brains to use it to your advantage and not be taken advantage of.
It isn't an impossible combination and double as sexy.
