I haven't gone to a gym for a while but my favorites were...
Please mr smelly sweaty guy, wear deodorant. Also it would help if you had taken a shower in the past week. Feel free to wipe down that machine you just soaked as well.
Mr strange guy - I worry for you. Maybe you should rethink birkenstocks as your footwear of choice in the free weight section. You particularly scare me when you do squats. Also, I don't think that black trashbag you are wearing for your gym clothes is doing much for you.
Dear grunter - can you use your inside grunt voice please?
Dear girly girl - Yes I know you like make up, you wear plenty of it. I also know you like perfume, I can smell it 10 feet away. Also if you can afford those night club clothes you are wearing, maybe you can afford some gym clothes.
The benches you see around the gym are for exercising. They aren't rest benches and they also aren't places to store all your stuff--there's actually a locker room for that.
Ladies, I know we are delicate flowers that aren't suppose to sweat but please wear deoderant, especially if you plan on sitting in the sauna after your workout.
Please don't smoke just outside the door of the gym. Hello, we're all exercising in here.
Please don't steal the hooks off the sauna wall. Honestly, you can buy your own hooks next door at the drugstore for a couple of $.
Please don't leave the door of the sauna open. Your mom doesn't work at the gym; close the door behind you.
It's great that you can lift the 45 lb weights (although I do wish you could do it with less grunting), but please remove them from the machines when you are done. Again, you're mom doesn't work at the gym (and, even if she did, she'd probably would have as much trouble removing those weights as I do).
Mr. old hairy guy with the less than ideal body, please wear a shirt that covers your torso, rather than one that hangs open on the sides from the shoulders to the waist. Ick.
I know this may sound crazy but all the things you guys hate about the gym are what keeps me going back. The gym is a hilarious place! I'll also chime in though.
1) I hate when people don't wash their grubby feet and I'm stuck in yoga looking at your grimy, dingy feet.
2) People who take up lanes in the pool who aren't doing laps! If you lounging, get in the jacuuzi!
3) The people who insist on putting hella water in the steam room thingy. All it takes is a little.
4) The lasdies that walk aroung butt-a** naked in the locker room but I'm getting used to that.....
We all can see your muscles. REALLY, we can. So it is not necessary for you to put on draws/underwear for shorts and then baby oil up before you put 400 pounds worth of weight on the bar, do one squat, grunt extremely loud, and then look at yourself in the mirror.
And Bally's is not a Mr. Olympia pageant, so leave the baby oil at home next time.
Last edited by grneyedmustang; 06-25-2008 at 10:34 PM.
The ladies that walk aroung butt-a** naked in the locker room but I'm getting used to that.....
I work in a gym/athletic club...and you are SO right, the gym IS a hilarious place! My husband is also a member, and boy, does he tell me stories as well!
Our pet peeves:
Yes, you are going to see some nudity in a locker room/shower area. This is to be expected. However, the nudity should be brief, and it should be only when necessary: undressing and dressing before/after showering or your workout. Brief.
My husband told me that in the men's locker room, that he witnessed a man in front of the mirrors/sink naked-putting gel in his hair. In my husband's words...this guys "stuff" was resting on the countertop/sink area. This is the same area where other people are going to CLEAN their hands!
barf:
He said another man in the locker room was standing there completely naked, watching the television. Umm.... Just STANDING there!!!
I have seen women brushing their hair or teeth, or putting on makeup, or drying their hair NAKED. Umm...put your clothes on first please, or at least wrap a towel around yourself, especially if you bend over during blow drying to give your hair extra volume. Nobody wants to see that view...
My husband told me that in the men's locker room, that he witnessed a man in front of the mirrors/sink naked-putting gel in his hair. In my husband's words...this guys "stuff" was resting on the countertop/sink area. This is the same area where other people are going to CLEAN their hands!
OMG! It took me a minute to figure out what you meant. (I was thinking "stuff" meant his gel or container of hair products or whatever.)
I seriously laughed out loud once I realized "stuff" meant STUFF! His JUNK! His bits!
All this is reaffirming my decision to be a Curves member. All women, no locker rooms, and small facilities where everyone's doing the same program make all the difference.
The "inside grunting voice" totally cracked me up.
Just yesterday, I was in the gym and there was a guy close by and if I did not know otherwise, I would have thought he was in labour. For some reason, I simply could not refrain from laughing so I moved myself to a distant part of the floor (I did not want to offend his sensitive soul).
This vent applies to both gyms and public places. If you are disgusted easily, refrain from reading.
Dear lovely Gucci girl
Yes, you with the perfect hair-style and the cute little outfit. It is great going to the toilet isn't it? Such a great facility, especially on those days of the month. And yet, despite your elegance you forget something.
How to flush! I know you are from a nice family, yet like all of us common mortals your excrements are not rose-petals neither rose-oil. I fail to understand why you would leave them floating in the bowl, staring back at me as I enter. I simply do not understand why you have this urge to fill the bowl with hips of toilet paper without flushing. And furthermore, I do not understand what your sanitary towel is doing outside the bin.
Before you whine "But I flushed once and they did not go down. Why should I wait?" I answer this. Wait and flush again because neither the other users or the cleaning ladies are forced to clean your messes. And no we don't feel a privilege to do so. Just because your mother is not the cleaning lady; and just because the cleaning lady is paid to clean, this does not mean you should act as if you were born in a pigsty. So flush! It is only a button away!
PS: I entered 4 toilets today. 3 needed to be flushed and 1 was clogged by heaps of toilet paper. Sheesh!!!
Last edited by preetyladyserenity; 06-28-2008 at 06:52 PM.
Thank you Prettylady for bringing this one back up. I needed the laugh. We have a chick who leaves her toilet paper protection all over the seats in the outhouse we have at work. If you don't think your butt shouldn't touch the seat, what makes you think I should clean up the leavings that your butt's been on. And, this is a Freaking Mine for pete's sake. I don't want my butt there either. That's why I hover if I have to use them. And guy's, don't leave dribbles everywhere. A quick wipe down isn't tough. Now you know why I hover.
As far as children go. My children have known how to behave in public and respect the others around them from an early age. They have gone to decent restaurants since they were 3 or 4. They have gone to nice restaurants since about 10. I have always received compliments on their behavior b/c the waitresses and other patrons appreciate a mother and father who pay attention to their offspring and insure they do not intrude on the enjoyment of others. As soon as I would even suspect inappropriate behavior coming on, out to the car we went. Only had to happen once for the point to be made clear. Not only are the other folks around paying good money to have a pleasant evening, so were their mom and dad.
Please folks, if you can't handle that much parenting, hire a babysitter to keep the little darlings at home. Honestly, it will not intrude on junior's personal freedom of expression for him/her to learn to respect the people around them and they won't be scarred for life if they are removed from a restaurant/grocery store/gym/etc. for getting out of line.
Therefore, I have no qualms whatsoever with looking straight at a brat that I might encounter in public throwing a hissy fit and asking very loudly if it actually has a parent or just crawled out from under a rock, while giving it's parent a clear look of disgust. I'm with Hat Trick, I'm just to old for that crap.
Oh, yeah, I just remembered...The supervisor at our local rec center did let my youngest work out in the adult area that required a min. age of 16 when she was 13 b/c he knew she knew how to behave. Guess I did something right.
1) People who do not wipe down their equipment afterward. Please. This IS the military, the people who 'work' here are typically volunteer or underpaid Japanese contractors, and you are EXPECTED to clean up behind yourself. The military even provides handy little wipes close to every machine and weight system in the place. No one wants to use a machine that is covered with someone else's sweat.
2) Wear deoderant. I really do not feel like upchucking my breakfast all over the treadmill due to smelling you would be received well by the people who 'work' here or the other exercisers.
3) Do not assume simply because I'm overweight and I'm leaving after you've only been there 20 minutes that I am somehow unconcerned about my weight. I do not need your 'helpful' advice, because lady, I just put in at least an hour and a half/two hours of doctor-advised exercise at the gym while you were sleeping in.
4) If you bring your child and use the parent/child training room, by all that is holy WATCH your child and PAUSE your machine if your child is being unruly! Lady, your 4 year old son scared me half to death almost falling on his head climbing over the barricade in front of my treadmill!
I don't use the lockers or the showers so I can't speak about those.
I work at a fitness center. I used to do the cleaning, but now I'm at the front desk.
People, please have your card ready for swiping by the time you get in the door (maybe take a second before you get out of your car?). Remembering to bring it at all would help too.
Pick up your dirty towels and put them in the bin that's an arm stretch away. Don't leave your razors, empty shampoo bottles, used tampons/pads in the showers please.
Oh yeah, don't poop in there either.
Oh yes, and WHY oh WHY must you use so many towels? One for each foot on the floor, one for lining the counter to put your makeup on, at least 2 or 3 for your shower. Add this to your 7 children (this IS Utah) and OMG. There are people making $7.00 an hour that have PLENTY of things to do around here without all those extra towels (this club provides the towels).
Don't bring your young boys into the women's dressing room! No, they are NOT too young to know...
Last edited by ShootingStar; 06-29-2008 at 02:51 PM.
Reason: To *uh* edit?
Just STANDING there!!! 
Nobody wants to see that view...
Guess I did something right.
