Diet Excuses

  • But the doughnut was calling my name.

    But it was my birthday, so I had to eat the whole cake.

    I had to get the bitter taste out of my mouth from eating the so-called dish, so I had an ice cream.

    If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has no calories.

    If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, the calories in the candy bar are canceled out by the diet soda.

    If you fatten up everyone else around you, then you look thinner.

    Cookie pieces contain no fat -- the process of breaking causes fat leakage.

    Things licked off knives and spoons have no calories if you are in the process of preparing something. Examples are peanut butter on a knife making a sandwich and ice cream on a spoon making a sundae.

    Only eat things that have been broken into pieces; that way, all the calories
    fall out.

    Chocolate is a vegetable. How, you ask? Chocolate is derived from cacao beans. Bean = vegetable. Sugar is derived from either sugar CANE or sugar BEETS. Both are plants, which places them in the vegetable category. Thus, chocolate is a vegetable.
  • If you eat something off of someone else's plate, the calories still belong to the plate's owner.
  • Quote:
    If you eat something off of someone else's plate, the calories still belong to the plate's owner.
    I love it.

    It's birthday cake - birthday cake calories don't count on your birthday.

    If you make a rootbeer float with diet rootbeer, then the calories cancel out.

    It's a vegetable - even if it's battered, breaded, and deep fried. It's healthy.

    .
  • I can't have those people think that I don't appreciate what they're serving me.
  • If you eat standing up in the kitchen, over the sink, walking around, then the calories don't count.

    I'll eat less tomorrow.

    I'll exercise more tomorrow.

    I'll fast tomorrow.

    I HAD to eat it, my Grandma fixed it for me.

    One more...When we are in Texas--I have to eat the tortillas, they are handmade and we only come to Texas a few times each year.
  • Anything that contains the word "salad" must be good for you! One fiesta taco salad coming up!

    Ketchup is a vegetable.

    But the value meal only costs 50 cents more!
  • I have to eat in order to be strong and able to fight obesity.
  • There's no point starting a diet right now, as Easter (then birthday, then Christmas, and so back to Easter) is right around the corner...

    Well, I had margarine on my toast for breakfast, so the day's blown now anyhoo...

    C'mon, when are you going to get the chance to eat this again?
  • But I haven't had (instert food here... such as pizza, cake, cookie , brownie, ice cream, regualr soda, salsa con queso, nachos, beer, M&Ms , Doritos, combos, cheetos... ) in SO long... I deserve a treat.
  • heeheee - this is a fun thread! thanks!

    Let's see:

    "I have to finish off that candy, that bag of chips, every goody in the house, before I start my diet!"

    heeheeee

    best,
    b