I am busy packing at the moment because I'm going to Porto for the weekend tomorrow! So excited, I've never been to Portugal.

I had quite a bad day yesterday, I went to an erasmus event where people all cook a dish from their country. So everyone gets to try some. Naturally, it got a bit out of hand and I ate too much.

I feel really guilty about it, I was doing so well on the good eating front. Gah!

ChickieChicks - I do this sometimes too. I'm not always hungry enough to eat a proper meal so end up having a few snack instead. I've never managed to work out if it's a good thing or not personally.

kakers don't worry I find personals completely overwhelming, I have to spend over 30 mins doing them too. I suppose I'm just easily distracted. But I need to post more often to stay motivated.

TurboMammoth have you seen this photo before? It always makes me chuckle.

http://knowyourmeme.com/photos/27927...photogenic-guy

But seriously you don't look bad in those photos at all! If I'd just run a half marathon (which I couldn't) I'd be bright red and dying.

krampus I enjoyed the pumpkin pie yogurt a lot! It's a nice change from vanilla most of the time (I just can't deal with bits of fruit in my yogurt) then again I'm scared to try greek yogurt, so I am not sure how it would stack up, there.

________

I did good yesterday, I only went over by 160 calories over my daily goal, and considering my workout I am sure it burned more than 160 calories so I didn't over-do the food. We've already planned dinner for a change, and it's not going to be a big calorie meal. This makes me super happy, since it means more snacking for me! And yesterdays practice went really well! I got my flyspring on the rod floor, now I just need to be consistent with it. I got a video on my blogger but IDK if we're allowed to post links to outside blogs? In any case I am super excited to have that skill back! It means I am one step closer to a real actual tumbling pass.

~Katy

Hey everyone! Sorry I've been a bad poster, just a bit overwhelmed with everything this week.

I was doing really well for like a week with calories and did 3 weight lifting sessions and 3 cardio sessions but then I stepped on the scale and I'd only lost like .5 of a lbs which was really frustrating. I ate pretty badly yesterday and the had a mini binge last night Ugh trying to get back on track today, I have like 300 pages of readings to do every week for school and find it hard not to eat out of bordom!

------------

ChickieChicks - I'm also a huge snacker, it actually makes me feel a little gross..probably because my snacks are generally pretty carb heavy. I'll eat like a muffin, then a biscotte, then a salad, and have yogurt and fruit before bed. It works out to the same amount of calories but I don't enjoy it. I'm trying to eat 3 meals a day - but if snacks work for you thats good too!

Kakers - congrats on the pound lost and on the gymnastic accomplishment!

TheManekiNeko - I think you started posted here after a took my summer hiatus. Nice to "meet" you

Joss - I'm going to read your blog now but I'm sorry you've been having such a rough time. Hang in there, hugs.

Turbo - Those pictures look pretty awesome to me actually!! Congrats again.

Krampus - sorry you're feeling down! I think you're super hot, not fat at all! It sucks to be in a bad place but it always turns around.

Jessica - I haven't "met" you yet either! Where in Ontario are you? Always nice to see another Canadian around.

Libby - Welcome!!!

I hope I didn't forget anyone - if I did Im so sorry! Take care everyone xo

Joss - Posted on you blog as well but just wanted to say I think your blog is great and it's wonderful that you can come clean and be accountable.
I hope you're feeling better today and came maybe figure out what brought the binging on.

I've found that often (although not always) I binge when there is something I read to resolve.

Much love

Hey guys,

Thanks for the warm welcome. I look forward to getting to (digitally) know you guys a bit better, and providing and giving much needed support!

Congrats on the race Turbomammoth!
Lizzy

Sometimes I feel like this thread moves so fast!

Lisa - Thank you for the kind words. Honestly I don't think that it's been a wholly emotional issue for me lately, and I think it could be quite simple; I weighed in at my lowest ever early this month, and that day I ended up kind of freaking out about it and eating a ton. I think once I did that, I cued up those horrible sugar cravings and it's just been hard to get back on track since then. It might be oversimplifying the situation, but I really think it might be just that! I've been reading a lot lately about the physical aspects of how high fat/sugar/salt food effects us, and it's been a real eye opener.
Losing .5 pounds may be a bit disappointing, but it's still a loss! I'm actually going to try to take things slow, so .5 lbs per week will be my goal. I think you're doing great, and at least it was only a "mini binge"!

Kakers - Planning out meals isn't for everyone, but I swear by it and think it's so helpful!

TheManekiNeko - Portugal sounds like so much fun, enjoy!

Krampus - I'm sorry, I should have posted some sort of warning... I didn't intend to make you or anyone else uncomfortable reading that. It was more for me (and I find the blogging to be a nice release) but I already knew what I did. somehow letting you all know was helpful for me.
Now? Well, honestly, I feel fat, bloated, and generally like a failure. I wish I could say that I picked myself up and dusted myself off and don't feel guilty about it, but I really do. I know it's going to take some time, and with each day that I get through I will build that confidence back up again and it will get easier. I'm sure in a few weeks time I will have forgotten all about it for the most part, but right now it's quite difficult. I feel like I've really done some damage and as much as I try not to focus on it, the reality is that I'm probably up a solid 5 pounds of real fat gain from binging this month. It makes me feel like a fraud somehow.

Anyway, I can relate to how you feel lately, but you have no reason to feel that way from what I can see... you're still doing great! Sometimes we just get in weird places in our minds and it doesn't necessarily make sense but it just is that way. I'm sure you'll feel better after a nice poop. hahaha

Yeah, the photo shoot will be a boudior shoot mostly, so I don't know how many of those I'll be sharing! We'll see how they come out, but I'll definitely put some up when the shoot is over... 17 November I'll share them!

Turbo - Sadly, no... this bloat is here to stay for a while! haha
I'm glad your foot seems to be feeling a bit better. I have an appointment to have mine checked out tomorrow, so wish me luck! Have you gotten yours looked at?

Oh, which reminds me... Krampus, how is your knee?

Congrats on the drop too! I'm not weighing myself for a while yet, so hopefully when I do (in 9 days) I will be where I was before the two binge days I just had. Blech.

Hey JossFit--I read your blog yesterday, and have been wanting to send you well wishes since then! You've been a real inspiration for me on my weight-loss journey!

Thank you so much! I guess it just goes to show that nobody has it all together all the time huh? I hope I can continue to be a friend and inspiration to you!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I was such a scatterbrain during my workout today! I hardly broke a sweat because each time I finished a set I stopped to grab my workout journal and add another exercise to my planned workouts for the next couple of weeks. I would be mid-set and think "OOh, box jumps... where can I add those in?" or "what if I superset some medicine ball slams with wall ball tosses? what day can I fit those in?"

My plan is to get my workouts planned for the next 3 weeks or so and NOT deviate from those plans at all. If I give myself too much leeway I end up doing like I did today and substituting a bunch of crap. With this photoshoot coming up, my annual PT test in a few weeks, and the Tough Mudder a week after that I can't afford to slack off.

The diet of course is the main issue, but even though the urges to eat sugary deliciousness will be bothering me for a while, I know I won't give in to them (aside from the 6th of October which is planned while my hubby is in town... even then, that is just extra calories and not a binge. Man, those binges were vicious. I had been doing so well for so long too...)

Anyhoo...

It's Friday, and my last weekend before my roommate gets home! Yay! I'm excited to see her, but my other roommate (her boyfriend) and I need to do a bit of deep cleaning. I keep our house very clean but we still need to vaccum the stairs and dust all the baseboards... stuff like that. Fun! Oh well, I can just think about all the NEAT calories burned.

Oh, and the bastages at the clinic called and cancelled my appointment to check out my foot AGAIN, so now its on Monday. Ugh!

Have to get to work, BUT wanted to post that I am excited cause I created 2 song-length workouts that I'm going to try out today! Knowing full well I won't be able to complete either one of them. Well, maybe I can pull off the full body one, but the other one is all jumping. I think I can do that one for like, a minute right now.

~Katy

Joss I would never have an issue with ordering an appetizer AND dessert. I never order any, because I'm horribly cheap, and like to keep the bill low. Actually, if I go out to a restaurant with my brother, it will be for lunch (he and I work together), and I'm not worried about keeping that in check. I am going out for dinner with my husband and my daughter on Sunday though, and I'm still up in the air about what I'm going to do. I had already made the reservations for the buffet, and I've thought about changing it, but my frugal side is making it difficult. The restaurant we are supposed to go to gives you a free buffet with the purchase of an adult buffet on your birthday, and children under 4 are free, so it honestly would end up loads cheaper than a normal sit down restaurant. Part of me is thinking how easy it would be to eat well at a steak house, a nice steak and a side of veggies, but the cost would be 3-4 times more than the buffet. I'm sure the internal struggle will continue for the next 2 days, but whatever I decide, I'm not going to sweat it too much, as it is my birthday. If I hadn't already eaten poorly, I'd happily just eat the buffet. In any case, it will be easier for me to eat well at Thanksgiving rather than my birthday, so I might make some sort of compromise with myself... I guess we'll see.

Turbo I don't have the control yet for eating reasonably at a buffet either. I think if I did, the buffet option wouldn't seem as appealing. I mean, the food is never as good as when you order it to your table, and if you don't plan on eating a lot, what's the point, right? I hate to admit that I really WANT to overeat on my birthday, but that is the truth of it.

krampus We all feel that way sometimes. Isn't it frustrating to come as far as we have and still have those feelings of being too fat. I know that where I'm at is a perfectly reasonable place to be, and that I'm much better off at this point than the majority of people around me. But I keep comparing myself to what I see as being my goal, and that does get frustrating, especially since I'm not sure how realistic my goal is!

TheManekiNeko Have fun in Portugal! You Europeans are so lucky that it's realistic to just take off to a different country for a weekend. I lived in Ireland for 5 months once on a working holiday visa, and I sure am envious of how cheap the flights are over there. I sort of wish I had stayed longer so I could've seen more of Europe, but I cut my stay short to come home to my boyfriend (now my husband).

kakers I sure like knowing what I'm having for dinner, as it puts my mind at ease that I can do well with the day. I do all the meal preparation at my house, so it's easy for me to stay on plan. It's when we go visit relatives, or go out to eat that I get all anxious.

Lisa I'm just outside of Kitchener, so about an hour outside of Toronto. I actually lived in Toronto 8+ years ago, when I was in University at U of T (wow, I can't believe it's been that long).

-------------------------

I took my daughter for her annual exam this morning, and also went for my pelvic ultrasound. When my daughter was at her checkup, the doctor mentioned that my blood results came back normal, he was just waiting for the ultrasound results before calling me. Then I guess either way, we are going to talk about what we are going to do about my irregular cycles. They haven't bothered me my entire life, but for some reason, now that I had finally brought then up with him I was hoping for some sort of explanation, but I'm starting to feel like it will just be something that goes on without reason. I don't know why I'm starting to feel a bit anxious about it, it's been this way my whole life.

Krampus : Aww, sorry to feel you're feeling that way You know that the 126's doesnt mean a thing if you ate the salty korean food (hhhmm korean food). Oh jeez, constipation is really a freakin plague. I just hate to know I have to go but it's just noooot happening. Montreal is pretty at this time of the year, it's getting frisky so you don't get hot and everything walking around. It must be nuts to be in the States right now, between the elections and the lockout of the ref in the NHL...

TheManekineko : LUCKY you, going to Porto! My friend has been there and says it was a wonderful city And I'm a fan of the ''insanely looking running guy'' LOL Sadly I don't have his magic (because, it gotta be magic or something) powers!

kakers : you seem to be in control, with the food and the workout. Good for you! I wish I could tumble. It look so cool and fierce!

Lisa : Oh god, when I was writing my thesis at home, I was just snacking all.the.time. I ended up having a WW Cheerios box I could raid just in case (like, better be Cheerios than chips!) 0.5 pounds off is better than 0.5 in! you're doing good, it will show up eventually!

libby : thanx for the nice words. Looking forward seeing you on the thread!

Joss : I haven't got my foot looking at... I have a card of a kine that my boyfriend know the boyfriend of the girl... something like that. I was waiting a bit because it was getting better and better since monday. Yesterday I stop the ibuprofene and I was freacking out because I thought it was getting worst.. but I think it was only for ditching the ibuprofen. I still feeling a little something when I do some unusual torsions. I'm gonna look online for exercices to work it out a bit!

***

This morning my scale red 134.4 lbs. Like I was at 136 the day before. Oooookay. I know I ate light stuff yesterday, but I also ate a part of the chocolat cake I had to cut out (my boyfriend is bringing that for his ''boys stuff at the chalet'' for the birthday of a guy). And I mean this stuff was buttery and sugary, like Paula Deen would have been all over the thing. Oh well. Won't complain about it!!!

My hike tomorrow is officially cancelled because we are expecting crappy crappy weather. Which is kinda okay with me honestly, I am exausted and I will be able to 1. rest my feet and 2. go see my pregnant cousin a bit longer.

I am a bad girl, I haven't done my abs stuff yesterday. With the absence of working out (stupid feet) I should really try to do that at least... I want to go and try a small run on sunday maybe to check how the feet is holding on actually. I dearly miss my runs

Hi, Feathers! I've been lurking for the past 10 pounds trying to get the courage to ask if I could join. I hit 159.6 this morning, so I officially have less than 20 pounds to goal (well, estimated goal, there's no telling until I get there) -- so I kind of feel like maybe I'm in the feather category, or at least very close? You guys are just so active, and supportive.

I've gotten a couple of (maybe deserved) comments from a couple members lately, when lamenting about the scale. I realize that someone who has a lot of weight to lose may find my comments irritating. But these (possibly) last 20 pounds don't feel any less important than the other 70+ pounds because I'm not where I want to be yet. And I'm starting to get more and more comments from people IRL telling me I don't need to lose anymore weight, blah blah blah. I know they are just trying to be supportive and all, but I have a lot of fat left -- my body fat % is still in the high 20s, I'm still considered overweight by BMI standards, and I'm not in a clothing size I want to be.

I figure if anyone can understand the place I'm at right now, it's you ladies!

Welcome LockItUp!

On the comments you got when not being happy with the scale, there was a thread a while ago on that subject. I think that being in the Feathersweight category brings is being into 2 situation (like the grey zone between black and white). Even if most of us had lost the biggest of the weight we needed to lose, we are still not totally ready for maintance. Some people will call it ''Vanity Pounds''.

To me it's sooo not vanity at all! I was at a healthy BMI about 15-20 pounds. Is it bad not settling for the higher range of the BMI? Or with being ''okay'' with our body instead of ''feeling freacking awesome''? I don't think so

I saw you are from Phoenix! I fell in love with Arizona since I visited there 10 years ago.

Welcome again!

HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII FEATHERS, happy Friday! I am in a freakishly good mood and have been all day, despite some bad news.

My uncle had a psychotic episode and turned himself into the police, and was placed in a state psychiatric facility for six days. No one was surprised but I can't say we saw this coming either. Hope he gets better - he has never been "well" though, lifelong depression and anxiety. He's in his fifties and has never held a job or had a girlfriend despite being a tall and good looking (if he cleaned himself up) guy. We're wishing him the best.

Had a great lifting session at the gym this morning, played more music and learned new songs last night, and it's the weekend! Festivities practically every weekend for the next month and a half. I'm going to a friend's wedding this weekend, bf and roommate's birthday concert/parties all next weekend, NYC to see a concert with pixellate on the 20th, going to Boston to see college friends at their Halloween party the 26th-28th, and LONDON November 5-12!

If anyone is interested, our ex-Board President was covered in an article in the local paper. I think they painted her well: http://www.timesunion.com/local/arti...at-3900283.php

TurboMammoth Frisky eh? I use that to mean "horny" haha, but there are lots of hot dudes in Montreal so you know. STILL not having satisfactory poops, but I can't be backed up forever. Scale moved down and my clothes fit and food has been fine, so I'm not gonna waste time stressing about it. That cake sounds great - my roommate is gonna be Paula Deen for Halloween!

LockItUp WELCOME to Featherweights! We get it, don't worry!

JessicaB I understand your concerns about your cycle. We need that affirmation that despite not being textbook-"normal" we are not SICK and nothing is wrong. It took me 13+ years to get a "regular" cycle without using birth control pills or anything. Thank you for your kind words re: my unjustified body image issues. Some days are easier than others, and for me what I want changes varying upon who I'm surrounded by.

JossFit Now you have tons of new ideas for future workouts! Binging ****ing blows, don't worry about triggering me or bothering people, it's your blog and you should write it all out as you see fit. I just want to wish you the best in de-bloating and battling the sugar craving aftermath...and hope you won't see a binge like that ever again. I have been "recovered" from binge eating for many months now but I feel more like it's in remission than banished forever. I'm always here if you need a sounding board!

LisaTcan I'm sorry you're feeling frustrated with the scale. It's really not the end-all but it does feel like "why am I even bothering" when nothing visible happens! Wishing you strength against boredom eating!

kakers What kind of workouts did you make? Greek yogurt is THE BOMB, some people don't like it but I am a big fan. DO NOT start out with plain non-fat, that stuff is only good when you mix in fruit or use it as sour cream substitutes in cooking.

TheManekiNeko Enjoy Porto! My friend from London went recently and hated it but her boyfriend loved it. Don't feel guilty about sampling world cuisines!!!

Hey Ladies

Lockitup - Welcome!!! Of course you can join the feathers, I hope you like it everyone is really lovely.

Jessica - Ha, I was born in Kitchener (well Waterloo) but I've lived in Toronto for 10 years now.

Joss - I'm so glad you've gotten back on track, good for you!!

Turbo - the cheerios are a good idea, I should get some - yeah it's like eating is the perfect excuse to stop writing!! I need to start going to the library more. I also have a habit of napping while I'm supposed to be writing...terrible!!

Krampus - Glad you're having a good day but I'm sorry to hear about your uncle. My uncle is schizophrenic so I totally can relate, I hope he gets better soon.
--------
I didn't have the healthiest day (went to a bar for lunch with people in my program) and I'm having pizza and wine for dinner but thats all I ate today so I haven't gone over my calories. I'm going to try and do a good work out tomorrow.

I got really good benefits now that I work at my university so i'm going for my first massage on Sunday - so excited. Have a good weekend everyone!