I have been in a self-proclaimed recovery of 2 eating disorders that both started 4 years ago. I have made progress, gotten rid of a lot of bad habits & mentalities, but still hate myself when I look in the mirror. If I think about it, it doesn't make sense. I am tall, slim, athletic & relatively pretty(not gorgeous but not homely by any means). I KNOW I'm pretty good body-wise, but I don't THINK that. I find it hard to believe when people say I don't need to lose weight or that they wish they could look like me. My boyfriend calls me stunning, gorgeous, & beautiful. And it's not that I don't believe his sincerity, I just wish that I too could see this.
Sometimes I'm so sad that the mirror won't show me what I KNOW I am & I just break down & cry. I'm never satisfied.
Do you ever get over this? Suggestions? Comments? Free Hugs? :P
Oh girl I can def. relate to this. I too wish I could see what others do and what I know I have. I hate it because I feel like I am ungrateful but that is not the case at all. I heard its called something like bodysymorphia. I guess where you dont see your body for what it really is? I wish there was a way to get over this. I feel like I wont be happy until I am comfortable with my body and wont be comfortable until my body is perfect.
Its a battle hun and I think its something we'll have to consciously work on every day! Hugs to you!!
Personally, I have had body issues for about 25 years. I know I don't see myself right in the mirror because I always look much thinner in photographs. I am also hyper-aware of every last detail I think isn't perfect about my face and body, something that is complicated by medical issues I have faced. Like you, while on one level I know that I am very pretty, on another I just can't seem to "think" I am—which is to say, I know that the outside world sees me as pretty, but I tend to focus on my self-perceived flaws, many of which are as I say tied to medical conditions in my past and present.
That said, as I have gotten older I have also learned to acknowledge that my brain doesn't work properly in this regard and thus I don't put too much stock in what my eyes tell me they see in the mirror. As such I no longer get emotional about it like I did when I was in my teens and twenties. I just smack myself on the head when I start criticizing myself and I get on with my day.
So, yes, in that regard, at least for me it did get better. I don't think I will ever get better, but I have learned to live with my Type A personality. I am a happy person and I love myself. I'm just overly critical of myself as well, and that probably isn't ever going to change.
Last edited by Petite Powerhouse; 08-27-2010 at 11:54 AM.
It is frustrating never being able to see yourself in the mirror as you really are. I have said to my boyfriend on more than one occasion that I wish I could switch eyes with him for a few minutes so that I could see what he sees. But of course it isn't my eyes but rather my brain that doesn't work properly in this regard. I don't know if there is a way to fix that, but I think trying to put more stock in what other people say and trying to have a more positive outlook may help. And, for me, photos really help as well. When I look at photos I can't see so many of the things that bother me about my appearance. I think I see someone much closer to the person other people see when they look at me.
It is frustrating never being able to see yourself in the mirror as you really are. I have said to my boyfriend on more than one occasion that I wish I could switch eyes with him for a few minutes so that I could see what he sees. But of course it isn't my eyes but rather my brain that doesn't work properly in this regard. I don't know if there is a way to fix that, but I think trying to put more stock in what other people say and trying to have a more positive outlook may help. And, for me, photos really help as well. When I look at photos I can't see so many of the things that bother me about my appearance. I think I see someone much closer to the person other people see when they look at me.
See I'm different. I am repulsed by pictures of me. Probably even worse than what I see in the mirror. But still, they both arent great. Also, I want to be confident in me from what I SEE, now rely on the comments, opinions of others; just because I cant see what they do...
See I'm different. I am repulsed by pictures of me. Probably even worse than what I see in the mirror. But still, they both arent great. Also, I want to be confident in me from what I SEE, now rely on the comments, opinions of others; just because I cant see what they do...
Oh, I'm sure everyone wants to get to that point. But sometimes, to get there, you have to start where you can—and that is by trusting in what others tell you. In recent years I have done this more than I ever did before. And, as a result, I am slowly starting to change the way I see myself in the mirror. I am always going to be hypercritical, but sometimes I actually get a glimpse of what other people see. It's like I can look past what I see and see what is really there—if only from time to time, and then very briefly. The point is, it happens now. Hopefully it will happen more often down the road.
As for photos, I know that doesn't work for everyone. And I'm not saying I am in love with my photos. My favorite photos were taken when I was four. But generally I am one of those people who looks better to myself in photographs. Other people on this site have posted about that before. Apparently it isn't uncommon, but I suspect the opposite isn't uncommon either. In fact, for some people it is looking at photos that makes them decide they'd like to lose weight.
Last edited by Petite Powerhouse; 08-27-2010 at 08:45 PM.
Personally, I have had body issues for about 25 years. I know I don't see myself right in the mirror because I always look much thinner in photographs. I am also hyper-aware of every last detail I think isn't perfect about my face and body, something that is complicated by medical issues I have faced. Like you, while on one level I know that I am very pretty, on another I just can't seem to "think" I am—which is to say, I know that the outside world sees me as pretty, but I tend to focus on my self-perceived flaws, many of which are as I say tied to medical conditions in my past and present.
That said, as I have gotten older I have also learned to acknowledge that my brain doesn't work properly in this regard and thus I don't put too much stock in what my eyes tell me they see in the mirror. As such I no longer get emotional about it like I did when I was in my teens and twenties. I just smack myself on the head when I start criticizing myself and I get on with my day.
So, yes, in that regard, at least for me it did get better. I don't think I will ever get better, but I have learned to live with my Type A personality. I am a happy person and I love myself. I'm just overly critical of myself as well, and that probably isn't ever going to change.
Did I write this or just dream I did I am 58!!!!But for me I have to leave out the last paragraph I am not totally there yet I am still smacking myself in the head.
hating yourself for hating yourself?
