Willow-Letting go is very hard. We are only human and we like to try to keep control of our lives. My attempts to control my diet and health lead me into severe pain and over 140 extra pounds. It wasn't until I was in so much pain that I couldn't make it 4 hours without ibuprofen that I finally gave up my control and asked God to help. I had prayed for guidance and "please help me lose weight" before many times, but this time, I prayed that God would show me exactly what I needed to do. I prayed that He would show me the way that I, no one else, could do what He wanted me to do. The first thing He showed me was an article listing this site (3fc) for diet support. After that, He showed me many threads from many people who talked about calories and just committing to doing something to get healthier. I'm serious about God leading me to this, because I had never, ever contemplated joining a support site or any kind of web networking site before. He knew that learning that other people were struggling with the same things I was would make a big difference for me, as I don't have many friends or family.
God also knew that I had to commit to this, not worrying about motivation or willpower, because MY will only leads to pain. I committed to trying what I had read about and found that success was possible, even though I had no real motivation to work any plan.
God also lead me to start studying the book of Hebrews and learn more about true faith in Him. A couple verses that jumped out at me are Hebrews 4:15-16 "Jesus understands every weakness of ours, because he was tempted in every way that we are. But he did not sin. So whenever we are in need, we should come bravely before the throne of our merciful God. There we will be treated with undeserved kindness, and we will find help." I've read Hebrews many times, but never had noticed how powerful these verses are. We can come to him bravely, with no fear of judgment, because He knows who we are, where we are, and He will KINDLY give us the help we need.
I also decided to get more involved in my church and started going to one of the Sunday morning classes, which turned out to be a study on true revival and how our sin keeps us from knowing God. Colossians 3:12-13 says,"God loves you and has chosen you as his own special people. So be gentle, kind, humble, meek, and patient. Put up with each other, and forgive anyone who does you wrong, just as Christ has forgiven you." Being gentle, kind, patient and forgiving includes being those things to MYSELF as well as others, even when I try to take back control and mess up the plan.
Sorry I'm going on so long, but my heart goes out to you. I'll be praying for you.
How do I let go?
