Well Trish, knowing myself the way I do, I will not give up, but I'm really disappointed in myself and FEEL LIKE giving up. But I never do. To make it worse, i'm still eating junk today. DH found a can of peach pie filling in the pantry and made a pie yesterday, and I just ate some. I wasn't hungry. There's one slice left and DH will never eat the last slice of anything.

I just have to get back OP, whatever that is. I have to stop eating sweets and carbs and get back to IF. That always worked for me before. I know what I need to do. Not just for my weight but for blood work results.

You seem to have very good control with your eating and exercise, regardless of the holiday eating. I bought some candy I shouldn't have. It is Russell Stover chocolates, one assorted and one milk chocolate. Now they are not coming to my house so they won't be helping me eat it! I have it on the dining room table. We went out and when we came home DH had opened the drapes and the sun was shining right on the box of candy. I didn't want to open it to see if it was melted and the box is shrink wrapped. So I might not have to worry about eating that one. I'm having trouble with coffee lately too. When I first came home I wasn't drinking it but now I'm getting back in the habit. I guess I will have to give it up again.

I think I will mention the kidney test to my PCP. He gave me the order for the labs last June when I saw him. Tomorrow he will give me the order for the labs next time. I just hang onto them until its time to go again, but I will be seeing the cardiologist before then.

I think we will both still be under control and get and keep our health in line.😀. 2024 will be a healthy year for us! (I think I say that every year!)

Weight was down 2 lb to 173 this morning. My appointment with the PCP is over. He wants to change to a different statin because of my bad lipid readings but I said no. I've been on this one for years with no side effects and I dont want to change to a different one . I've improved my readings with diet and exercise in the past and I will do it again. I think this is just the boost I need. Thats what I like about my PCP. I am not afraid to say no to him. I am his boss. I pay him to advise me, but the final decision is mine.

I didn't ask about the kidney test. I will also try to fix that with diet. He cut my Beta Blocker back to 25mg because that could be making me tired. Thing is, I was taking that all along and felt fine. Maybe I will start eating some liver now and then in case its iron deficiency. I bought chicken livers but didn't use them and they went bad. I just forgot I had them. I do know that CHF causes fatigue and so does Pulmonary Hypertension so maybe this is my new normal.

We discussed my fatigue and lack of energy. As a result he reduced my Beta Blocker from 50mg to 25 mg. He said that might help. Well i was googling, trying to find information, and lo and behold that found a post by a man who was very tired after having the same procedure and he stopped his Beta Blocker completely and his energy returned. So I'm hopeful. I just hope it doesn't affect my blood pressure.

My weight was up 2 lbs today. My weight seems to bounce up and down a few lbs all the time. I've got to get my diet straightened out too.

My visit with the oncologist went well. Some of the things I worry about are not unusual. There are a few things that he said we need to watch cautiously but he isn't ready to change anything because he says I am doing well with the treatment I am on. I did learn that oncologists like for us to take one good multivitamin, but they don't really know if it is good or bad for cancer patients to take antioxidants during chemo treatments or not. He told me "everybody's body is different". Infusion went smoothly. I met with the financial lady who sets up payments etc and she put me in the system with the new name card that my insurance will be on the first since it will have a new name January 1st.

DH is starting a 3D movie so I guess I need to go. Hope we will sleep well tonight. Back OP in the morning.

I'm so tired. Poor sleep. DH told me again to quit rehab but I only have 2 sessions left and I'm afraid insurance won't pay if I dont finish. I'm not going to be happy if I have a,copay because one girl told me my insurance pays 100%.

I took my shower this morning because I usually feel better after a shower. I often take it before bed because it helps me sleep. We will see. This is only 45 minutes of my life. How bad could it be. I shouldn't complain.

There are always so many changes with cancer treatment. I don't know how they figure it out. I just hope its working for you, Trish. I know you are following the doctors orders.

Carol Sue I'm so sorry you are so tired and not sleeping well. I hope once you can do your exercises on the days you want to do them and are able to do them when you want to during the day instead of when someone else wants you to that you will feel better. I think is easier when I can do things at my own pace. Hopefully it will feel the same way for you too.

I still have days that get tired but I know I have to make myself stay on schedule with my exercises because it is good for me. I told the doctor yesterday that I've learned that when I wake up in the morning and I am hurting or don't feel good that if I get up and start moving around that the pain leaves and I start feeling better.

He explained to me what he thinks the numbers I was concerned about mean. It seems some of these things that bounce around are normal. It is kind of like FBG aren't always the same but bounce up and down. Also the fact that a lot of other things are improving like blood count was 10.2 which means I'm no longer seriously anemic. However, I can see why I still get tired because normal is 11 or 12. I think is 12 but will have to look that up to be sure.

He did say the stomach pain I had the other day could mean something else is going on and they would watch that. And if it continued they would do the CT scan more often. I pray it was just a one time thing. I did ask him about the stents that replace the tubes from kidneys and he said that is something you don't want to do unless it was absolutely necessary because everyone who has had them so far has wished they had never had them done because they are very painful. So I pray I never have to do it. I am a little tired today but that isn't unusual the first 3 days after infusion, but I will still do my exercises. I've done half of them so far. I do the vibration platform and the recumbent bike after DH gets up.

I had my eggs, bacon and toast with 1 c decaf for breakfast. I think DH is having leftovers, but that is chili and pizza which is too much sodium for me. I see he has 1 pork chop out so I think he is cooking that for me. I'll have a salad and strawberry/blueberry shortcake will be dessert. Sometime today I will have an apple. FBG was 106 and weight came down 1.6 lbs even eating fried chicken takeout yesterday so I want to keep those #s coming down.

Carol Sue Remember that it hasn't been that long since you had your procedure done so you probably are still within healing time. Try not to worry because I think the stress of worrying keeps you from being able to sleep. I know I didn't sleep good the night before my infusion knowing I was seeing the doctor. My blood pressure was way high yesterday and by the time I got to oncology to see him I was so sleepy and tired. I think I had stressed myself out so much because I was worried about what he was going to tell me all these things meant. I was really afraid the treatment wasn't working. Plus, I thought I should be feeling so much better than I do by now and I think that is what you are thinking too.

Hope everybody has a good day and you feel better as the day goes along Carol Sue.

Trish, i'm glad your doctor was able to give you some answers regarding your treatment. Hopefully you will be done with this soon.

Rehab went well and I have one more session on Wednesday. I will be glad to be free to continue on at home on my own schedule.

I don't know why I'm not sleeping better. Probably too much on my mind.

Trish, I feel bad today because I didn't get the things done I wanted to for Christmas. I feel like I've let people down. I need a few more weeks!

Rehab was ok. I have 1 more day next week. I will be glad to get to exercise at home on my own time. I need to perk up and get things back to normal.

I'm glad your doctor was able to give you some answers. Its best to hear that you're doing good and things are progressing the way they should. I'm hoping you will be done with this soon.

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Saturday morning.

We went to Wal-Mart for a few things. It was early in the morning so not really packed,just a little busier than usual.

Then we went to the local grocery to get a turkey breast. They usually have fresh ones since I don't have time to defrost. I got one 5 lb or so. I want another option for us since we both have to watch our sodium. I also got rye bread, Swiss cheese,lettuce and tomato so I can make 1 last good sandwich before starting my plan over. Yummy! DH wants me to cook the ham today since we are going to step sons on Christmas. SS isn't til Wednesday so we won't be eating out or having money to spend til then. We really cut it short this month. I told DH that we can go to the casino for his birthday because I don't want them coming here. If m not up to entertaining.

I'm going down to get on my vibration platform to see if it peps me up.

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The ham is done and we just had a sandwich. I had breakfast, 2 small pancakes topped with a fried egg. This sandwich is my second meal and I'd like it to be my final meal but its only 2:30. The rye I bought is Beefsteak Hearty Rye,big slices so I used 1 slice cut in half, 1 thin slice of ham, lettuce tomato Swiss and mayo. It was delicious. I'm still hungry but won't eat more because it takes 20 minutes for the stomach to know its full. I think I will cook the turkey breast tomorrow, so we will have leftover ham and turkey for several days. These are leftovers that DH will eat. I don't know what daughter in law is serving on Christmas. Last time she and her mother hosted Christmas they had a prime rib roast. I would be happy if they did that again but will eat what is served. DH cut the ham in half and gave half to step daughter. She will cook it tomorrow. I also gave her a loaf of wheat bread I bought by accident. They always eat wheat bread.

I forgot to get weighed this morning. Yesterday I was 173. I want to decide when my actual starting day will be and be sure I weigh on that day. I do plan on staying away from junk food but can't guarantee that I will not eat anything that is not diet suitable, although I do not consider myself to be "on a diet.". I want to call it healthy eating for the intent of weight loss and improving my triglycerides. Low carb lowers triglycerides. They were higher than they have ever been. I did read online that some of the meds I'm on raise triglycerides, but I lowered then considerably with reduced carb and exercise a few years ago. I will look for my notebook to see my results from back then.

I intended to write this morning and fell asleep. Then I was going to write after dinner and same thing happened. I fell asleep. I slept really good and felt okay when I got up, but the longer I was up the more tired I was. I did half my exercises when I got up, but by the time DH got up I was so tired that I wasn't sure I would be able to exercise. Then I decided the vibration platform was easy to do so I did it and decided to try something I heard about somewhere. I heard that if you sing and worship the Lord when you don't feel good that it will help you feel better and sure enough by the time I was finished using the platform I was feeling much better. So I decided to do the recumbent bike and I still felt pretty good by the time I finished the bike. Some of it made me feel so good because I had another week of 5 days of exercises done. I finally realized that I've been so tired and slept so much because today is day 3 after my infusion. I don't always feel so tired after the infusion lately, but it can happen and it caught me by surprise this time.

I'm sorry you didn't feel like baking like you usually do, but I'm sure everyone understands. At least they should. I'm sure they will just be thankful you can be there.

I ate oatmeal for breakfast today with a banana and Greek yogurt. DH cooked a pork chop that we halved and also chipped beef and our strawberry dessert along with our salad. Later I ate a diet brownie. Now I hope I can go without eating anything else until tomorrow. I would like to stop eating at night. My weight was down to 164.4 this morning. I would like for it to continue going down again. FBG was 111 because I ate some crackers last night before I went to bed last night. I didn't care for the oatmeal. It may be old. I will throw it out and stick with my eggs.

We will do better at eating healthy in 2024.

I had too much sodium today even though I only had thinly sliced ham. The rye bread is high, too. I hope I'm ok. I just remember the 2 days I had so much congestion I couldn't breathe. Scary. I told DH I WONT go back to the hospital.

I just saw that my insurance for next year has no copay for dental at all. As far as I know I only need a cleaning and a crown. I have to wait 6 months after my procedure and take antibiotics before.

I plan on baking the cookies after the holidays. The family doesn't care when they get them. I haven't baked since 2020. Never with my new oven. I will bake brownies to take. I always bake brownies for my handsome Grandson. He loves them and hes special to me..

Today is Christmas Eve 2023. Its the first day of my new plan,for a healthy diet and healthy weight. I weigh in at 173.2. My plan is to get back to exercising at home and eating relatively low carb, in an 6-8 hour window, 2MAD. Tomorrow, Christmas, I will eat a sensible portion of whatever is served. No food is ever forbidden on my plan. I eat all foods that I like,but keep carbs low, below 75 GM per day. Limit empty calories. I will stay below 1200 calories per day and not worry if I eat less than 1000 calories. I will try to be conscious of the nutrition of my food as that is important for my weight and health. I will weigh myself daily but not let fluctuations bother me. They are normal, everybody has fluctuations.

This is my vow and promise to myself. I hope to see much better blood work results and a lower number on the scale at my next doctors appointment.

I used a TDEE calculator to figure out how many calories my body burns daily and its 1467. So if I stay at 1200 calories per day I have a deficit of 267 daily. I believe that is an estimate.

I found a,video online of exercises to strengthen legs.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=tlULBV6wQGI

Here are exercises I need to help me walk by improving my balance.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=KtHuvxfwF4w

Have not been doing well. Will have to get myself in order. I am pleased to say I have an appointment with a surgeon to get my knee replacement, can't wait.
This just happened last night, so I plan to use this to turn myself around as I know I will manage recovery better with some weight loss.
But all of us need to be gentle about this for now, with the holidays, we can control our eating but should not judge ourselves.
Getting ready to host a little open house for a few neighbours tonight. Sorry I have been MIA, I have been feeling down with no surgery in sight. Now that I have a surgeon, I hope I can turn that around.
Blessings this holiday season, may you enjoy love and visits with family and friends.

Mad,I'm glad to hear you are setting up your knee surgery. A friend of DH had knee replacement several years ago and although things turned out well he had severe pain at first and actually threatened suicide. His wife had his guns removed from the home. My step sons MIL had it done more recently. Her surgeon gave her a series of exercises to do to prepare for it and she did beautifully! I don't plan on ever having it done, truthfully. Bit I've learned to never say never.

I just had my first meal of scrambled eggs, toast and a small piece of ham. Along with hot black coffee.

We have a lot of ham wrapped up for the next few days and I'm going to cook the turkey breast later.

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The turkey breast is in the oven, 11:25 for 1 HR 20 min or so. I thought it was a half turkey breast but its a whole one,I guess from a small turkey. I could have stuffed it with the stuffing mix I have left from Thanksgiving but I will just make Stove Top. I'm surprised that it has a pop up timer. They quit putting them in some turkeys the past couple years. I bought some to have on hand just in case. I use them for an estimate. I usually cook a turkey for an additional half hour but I might not have to do that with just a breast.

The turkey turned out good. I realize I could have bought a whole turkey for less than I paid for this breast. I think next year I will buy an extra small turkey at Thanksgiving and freeze it til Christmas. I made Stove Top stuffing. And broccoli. We mixed the turkey with diluted mushroom soup. DH had his over toast and I just had mine over stuffing. We now have leftover ham and leftover turkey for the next few days.

Step daughter cooked her ham today and consulted me regarding cooking time. It really just needs heated because its a precooked ham.

I've been spending time today reading about my medical conditions, CHF and Pulmonary Hypertension. Both cause fatigue and are helped with exercise.

Mad I'm sorry you have not been doing well, but so glad you finally have a surgeon will be able to get your knee replacement done. I pray it goes well for you.

Carol Sue Thanks for the exercise links. I will be adding some if not all of them to my exercises as I do need them to help me get my balance stronger so I can feel more confident when walking without the walker.

I had eggs, bacon and toast for breakfast and we had steak, carrots and beets along with strawberries for dessert for DH birthday. The only thing I might have later this evening will be a protein shake.

Hope everyone has a nice Christmas eve.

Ttrish, it sounds like you had a nice day so far.

I'm glad you liked the exercise links I found. They will help both of us.

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Scale is the same this morning. 173. I am up at 6:30 to bake the brownies. I slept ok. Not great. I was hungry so I had 1 fried egg and 1 slice of SL toast. Cup of coffee.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!