[Ashlie]

Hello.. I am a new and was going to post under the chat for today, but felt to new. I have been in and out of depression since I was 13. I haven't been depressed since I met my husband.. and now that we are seperating I am starting to feel it again and it really hit last night when I found out that he has a girlfriend at his work. I feel completely hopeless, and sad. but other then that.. I am usually a wonderful person to talk to. or so I am told. I have been trying to lose weight for 18 months now ever since I had my daughter. I loose and then something goes wrong and a binge in a bad way and then gain more and the lose and then gain. So far I have been doing pretty good. Exercising more and eating better but the seperation and hearing things about my husband that I wish I didn't hear is making things worse and it's all that I can think of. I am at the point where I have to force myself to eat or force myself not to eat alot and I hate feeling that way. I don't know what to do anymore. I feel like I am on a rollercoaster and i can't get off



Stephanie

[spores]

Sorry to hear you're having trouble. Keep posting and chatting! You're never too new to be a part of the community. Having people to talk with can really help. Also, do you journal? Check out the skinny daily post thread -- she's got excellent info on journaling.

[ShihtzuX2]

Ashlie: Sorry you're having such a bumpy ride right now. Don't have any sage advice to offer but be assured that these feelings won't last forever and that better days are ahead.

[CIN]

Stephanie
Hello & Welcome.
Just try to remember no situation is hopeless!
Concentrate on all the good in your life because we all have some good!

People Care!

Cin~

[Ashlie]

Well yesterday was just an awful day. I binged badly. I think I had 3000 calories by the time I was done with the day and was completely down. Today went better tho at least half of it. I did alot of packing. I am not moving out for another month yet but I figured i would get a head start on it. I found concrete proof the my husband technically has a girlfriend but they are waiting until their spouses move out before they do anything physical or some crap like that. Oh well what can I do. I asked him to be honest with me. I don't want to know who she is.. All I wanted to know was if he is moving on to just tell me. Let me deal with it. Which after being on the phone for 4 hours with friends I finally care but don't. I still love him and want to be with him BUT I need to deal with my and everything that is me before I can try to get him back into my life if that is even a possiblity in the future. I am not hoping for it atm. This is just me babbling away.

Yes I used to keep a journal which i wrote in every night when I was a depressed nut case in high school. and I had started one again when my husband and i started having issues this summer. I was thinking of starting one again and just writing and when I felt better at some point building a fire and burning it.

I got a quote from somewhere on this website that said....
"Courage is being afraid but then doing what you have to do anyway"

I am complete afraid and scared right now. I have never really done anything on my own. I have always had family to fall back on when I needed them. I am 1700 miles away from them all (thank goodness). They would be driving me insane right now if I told them what was going on. I am not ready todeal with them yet on the subject of my seperation and depression. I know i have to try and I know I will succeed with this. I have to wonderful children that will get me through anything. and a bunch of wonderful people on this site.

Thanks everyone

Stephanie

[Leenie]

Hi Stephanie,

Please know that you are not alone in your struggles. I really hope to see you on the daily thread and please don't feel "new" just jump in. Maybe we can make the rough time you are going through less bumpy

Hugs....

[cathyxxx]

Stephanie - I just saw this thread for the first time today, and I just wanted to try to reach thru this computer screen and give you a great big hug!

please join us on the daily thread when you can.

(((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))
cathy