Ups & Downs Support Group: April 2016
 

Hello and :welcome3: to the Ups & Downs Support Group thread for April 2016! Everyone is welcome to join the group. All that we ask is that you are willing to give and receive support in your weight loss journey, especially one that is complicated with mental health issues, such as anxiety or depression. We have a great core group of posters, but we always welcome newbies to the group. Please introduce yourself and feel free to write as much or as little as you want. We are here for you in both the Ups & Downs of weight loss and life. :)

Just popping in so I'll receive notifications - thank you for starting this, IBelieveInMe2!

I am copying-pasting this from the end of the March thread, since I posted it there today (April 1) and some of it was for another member....and because I'm new and didn't think about a new post for the new month - duh!

VermontMom, your post made me feel so happy! First, before I forget, what is the 'winter job'??

My own boss, who is still young and a little on the self-important side sometimes, bless his heart, is possibly getting fired next week. He doesn't see it that way, but he has less experience than I do...and my husband thinks that the writing is on the wall too. I have mixed feelings about this. This job is one I started in December, and it's been somewhat overwhelming all along, but the added income has been a blessing. I've told myself 'that's why it's called 'work''. I guess we'll just see what happens. Hubby and I can manage without it financially, and it would free me up if it goes away....but I don't hate it, nor do I have bad feelings toward my boss. This is just one of those things where he isn't seeing the bigger picture, and he's not in a position to say/do some things he's saying...and doing. Time will tell.

My garden used to be big, VermontMom, but then the deer came. There were a lot of wildfires in Colorado over the past decade, and a lot of displaced wildlife ended up in places it was not normally seen....so now, we have deer out on the open prairie. Since there is not a lot for them to browse (they don't eat grass, they are browsers), they really go after people's gardens out here.

My growing season is short too, and I have my best luck with smaller tomatoes too! (I love currant tomatoes, and I'm looking for seed right now for the variety I had before.) I have a fenced garden now, with a 'topper' to protect from deer (and hail). It's all DIY, and looks better once there are plants in it to distract from my fencing skills. I grow a lot of the same things you do. Potatoes do well here, so I grow 'fancier' ones, like blue ones and fingerling, and I grow a lot of lettuce, spinach, greens, kale, peas, etc. Green beans do well and I love love love them, so I grow enough for us to eat, plus some to can for winter. My garden last year was a little less than 8x12 - we called it the dog run garden. I took down some fencing near my hens (used to be a holding pen for whatever needed holding - turkeys, the dog, a bossy rooster, etc.) and this year, my garden is about 12x30. I'm super excited! It gets too cold here at night for tomatoes and peppers and such, but corn does OK, so I might put a small block of those in one corner - just big enough for pollination. My daughter loves birds and wants to be an ornithologist when she grows up, so I rai.se mammoth sunflowers for her, and we save the heads for the birds in winter. Pumpkins do well here, but take over, so I have a separate place I put them all by themselves, and I think I'll do that again this year. All around the perimeter, I grow herbs on the outside, because the deer/rabbits don't bother them. I've got lots of different things, some for pretty, some to cook with.

Oh goodness...can you tell I love my garden?

Checking in.... Weight is down:carrot: The 14 year old retriever mix is at the vet as he isn't doing so well. "Boyfriend" is a mess and for my own sake I need to end relationship, but it is too hard as we have been together for a long time. He has OCD.... Work is out of control and i need to go in today to finish up some things (Saturday).

You have inspired me to get some things done around this house Vermont!

Hope all are chin up!

HELP!!!!

In the past week I lost a few long posts,which as you all know is extremely frustrating. Yesterday I decided to write a series of posts, so if any were lost, it would not be so tedious to redo. I thought it was a brilliant idea - unfortunately, I posted them all to the March thread!!! DUH ! !

I have been trying to figure out how to move them, but have no idea how! If any of you know, please tell me.

In the mean time, would you please read my posts at the end of the March thread?

Thanks!

Easy Spirit

EasySpirit
 

EasySpirit: I don't know how to move your posts to the April thread, but I will go read your posts in the March thread. Sorry for your frustration! Hope all is well with you!

EasySpirit
 

EasySpirit: First of all, have I ever told you that I love your username?!? I strive to be an easy, free spirit, but I'm wound too tight much of the time. :( Thank you for your thoughts and advice about my son. As I feared, he is up and way down right now depending on his relationship with this girl. Most of all, I pray for him and do my best to trust God with the details. I do worry about him a lot though. He was recommended for the intensive outpatient program by the psychiatric hospital who assessed him (and by his psychiatrist first). They have a 2 week waiting list. But, thankfully, even though my son was hesitant going into the assessment, he came out of it feeling good and even excited about the program! I read the handout about the program he will be participating in, and it really sounds like it will be very beneficial for him.

I really enjoyed your story about overcoming procrastination. You sound WAAAAY more disciplined than me!!! I am a big list maker, but following through with completing my tasks on each list is another story. I let so much time pass before getting certain things accomplished, rather than getting them done and overwith, and off my mind. I drive myself crazy with procrastination! :( I do have to give myself credit for taking some baby steps in the right direction more recently, though. I just have so much room for improvement that it overwhelms me at times. Certain big tasks, like clutter, REALLY overwhelm me, and I put it off indefinitely and just become used to the clutter and don't even consider that it could be any different. Does that make any sense to anyone? Can anyone else relate to what I am describing? I truly think my physical clutter is related to my body clutter... and vice versa.

So sorry to hear that chocolate and sugar still have their grip on you. That must be so frustrating. I do applaud you for throwing away your Easter candy. Be sure to feel some sense of accomplishment about that. It is a step in the right direction. :)

It was so good to hear from you! :)

Thanks for the April thread Kathleen!

Nothing exciting here, started new medication on Friday, waiting to find out what the side-effects will be. I am nervous in case they make me gain weight, I am already the heaviest I've been...

Can you believe it's April already?

EasySpirit, if you copy/paste, you can move your postings here, if you want to do that. That's how I moved mine up above. :)

LisaLuvsHearts, thank you for your kind words. :) I'll share my plant list once I get it sorted!

I am tired today. It was a busy weekend, and I'm stressed about some things that are going on. I am very, very grateful to my sweet husband, who listens to all my 'stuff'. I listen to his too, so we help each other.

I'm struggling with a huge attachment to sugar, which is leaving me zapped emotionally and physically. If anyone has suggestions, I would love some guidance and support. I have to make some changes, but I'm convinced I'm not strong enough...and I know that is the problem, and I'm so, so frustrated.

In other news, I've been syringe feeding an ill hen for several days. I didn't know if it would help or not, but I made some yogurt, and I've been straining off the whey and mixing it into her chicken feed with vitamins. (I made the yogurt for me, and wanted Greek style, so that's why I'm separating the whey). She actually does seem some improved, and I found she was drinking water on her own today, so I'm hopeful she's going to get better. I am not certain what is wrong, but it she was lethargic and wouldn't eat. I'm hoping to see her eat on her own tomorrow.

I've also managed to dig (actually, Hubby helped me) all around the outside of my fenced garden and I edged it with stones. I can plant (some) flowers and herbs outside the fence and the deer don't bother them, so that's a way for me to grow a little extra. The new area of the garden has to be dug, and I did one of the 15 'squares' of it today. We can't safely plant outdoors for another 6-7 weeks here, so I'm just doing a little at a time to get it all ready.

My eating today was not good...part of the reason I'm tired. I didn't exercise, other than puttering in the garden and tending animals and such...another reason I'm tired. Why, oh why, do I do these things, when I know better? Sigh....I know my depression is seeping in - I can tell, but I can't seem to turn the ship. I'd love to go see the therapist I saw about 2 years ago, and she's good with me coming back, but our insurance is awful, my husband just learned that the overtime he's been getting is going away soon, and if my boss loses his job, I imagine I will too, so I not comfortable with spending the cash for private pay therapy right now. Argh.

I hope you're all doing well. Thanks for listening. I don't mean to be a killjoy.

I got in a 25 min. brisk walk! I just wish it hadn't been in the middle of the night because of a panic attack. :( At least it was some cardio.

Here are EasySpirit's personals -

I have to get ready for work now but I will come back tonight!

for newbies, my winter job is from late October to April, and it is a convenience store in a tourist town, and I either assist in deli or am cashier, it gets very frustrating with dealing with the public, and my boss is a Rat B@stard :devil: but in early May I start my summer job that I love.

Holly, thank you so much! I was going to get online to try to figure out how to cut and paste from one page of the thread to another when I saw that you had done it for me!! You are terrific!

Cat, I have the same sugar addiction, and it is out of control right now. I have gone without it by going on a South Beach type diet, but after a few weeks or months, I cave. I keep reminding myself that I have to get back on track, but I am having a terrible time - I am up 9 pounds, and that is not as bad as it would have been if I had not upped my exercise.

Kathleen, I picked the name EasySpirit from my sneakers! I had just joined 3Chicks and was trying to think of a name when I noticed the name of my new sneakers and thought it was perfect! I had to start writing lists and timing chores because my procrastinating was completely overwhelming me.

Hello to everyone else...let's keep fighting the good fight.

EasySpirit, I love your idea with the timer and getting things done. I do something very similar, setting the timer for 15 minutes, seeing how much I can get done, and then giving myself a bread (read a chapter in a book, usually),then jump back in. However...I'm great with it for keeping house sorts of things, but I continually put off exercise, makng healthier foods (so they are there to 'grab'), etc. Argh. I had to laugh at your description of how you got your name. When I first joined a message board like this one (but about homesteading) I was at work on my lunch break. I was a children's specialist in a library at the time, and I was dressed as the Cat in the Hat for a Dr. Seuss party we were having that afternoon, and so I became catinhat, lol.

My chicken did not look good at all today. I think she could just be dehydrated, but it is very difficult to get water into a chicken who does not want water.

Sugar-wise, today was...less awful, I guess. Still not good. This evening I made a pot of curry we can have tomorrow, which will hopefully keep me out of junk food, and I made a batch of homemade granola I can have in the morning with blueberries and some of the yogurt I made earlier this week. I am trying....but I've gained in the past 4 mos, and I'm just feeling frustrated about it. I drank more water today than I generally do, so that's a good thing!

I hope everyone is doing well.

LisaLuvsHearts, I hope your interview goes well. Is it with Hallmark? I worked in one of their stores when I was in college - it was kind of fun! Wherever it is, I hope you get it if you want it! :)

Very busy, productive day today.....

Lisa, I hope the phone interview went well!! looked at the clock at the time and sent you good thoughts :goodvibes:flow1: Have you tried your new exercise dvd yet? (not nagging, just friend encouragement :D )

purplecow, congrats on being down some, but very sorry to hear of your doggie not being good! any improvement?

catinhat, I loved reading about your garden, girl it sounds BIG to me :D I guess I should be very grateful I don't have any critters that bother our stuff. You are VERY dedicated to hold a hen and syringe-feed her! I hope she is better.

EasySpirit ( I always do picture sneakers when I see your name :D ) how are you doing?? I was happy to try to help about moving the posts :cool: I can do stuff like that but I can't answer my cell phone :rofl: I hope sugar is not being the boss of you!

Kathleen :hug: how are you healing? and how is your son?? thinking about him!

and HI to everyone else :wave:

we had 3 inches of snow last night :tantrum: it all did melt by 2 pm today, but now it is gray, drizzling, temp dropping, ugh.

But I only have 3 more days of the winter job :carrot:

I have been doing some kind of workout almost every day, yay for that, however my eating would make even the most learned psychiatrist scratch their head..I skip meals, or try to have the skinniest version of something, then four hours later I'm into the bag of chocolate chips (that's supposed to be hidden from ME) oh well I actually think I'd rather keep up with the workouts to be a strong chubby person :devil:

Thank you for your kind words, VermontMom - my hen is holding on, bless her heart. I got four baby chicks for my daughter yesterday - her reward for some awesome things she's done lately - and picked up a little medicated feed. I'm giving that to my hen now (with the yogurt and vitamins and all). She is still wobbly, and has this vacant stare - both could be dehydration, but it is hard to get water in a chicken.

I mentioned a while back that my boss might get fired....he had his meeting w/supervisors today. He went in 'confident' that it would all be fine. It wasn't. They asked him to resign. He assures me it's going to be fine, my job is not in danger, but...I'm thinking on things. I know I'm new here, but I could use a big squeezy hug or three. It's been a tough day, mostly from biting my tongue. ;)

On a more positive note, the earth is waking here! It seems to have happened overnight that the grass is greening. My apricot trees are in bloom, the bees are full of nectar, and really, with all that, I can't bring myself to have a bad day.

I hope your day was wonderful, and I wish everyone well!

purplecow
 

purplecow: I am so sorry that I overlooked your post from 4/2. I went back and reread it after I saw Holly's (Vermont Mom's) reply to you. I am a serious dog lover, so I am hoping that your pup is okay. Congrats on losing some weight! 😊 That is awesome!!! Every little bit helps! I hope things are going well with the break-up with your boyfriend. That must be a difficult situation if you've been together a long time. Good for you for knowing what's best for you! Hope you are hanging in there! :hug:

catinhat
 

catinhat: So sorry you have to worry about losing your job. Sending you 3 BIG hugs!!! :hug::hug::hug: I also hope your hen will be okay! My daughter would LOVE to get 4 baby chicks for good behavior! So sweet of you! 😊 Please keep us posted about your job. Oh, and I love hearing your stories about the farm!

Lisa
 

Lisa: How did the interview go?!? I hope everything went well! You remain in my prayers. :hug:

Holly
 

Holly: I am healing really well. Feels too good to be true. Barely any pain. Thank God! I needed a break. My son is on a rollercoaster ride and I hope it ends well. Things are very tense at home as we try to balance the need for privacy and "rights" of a 20-yr-old with responsibilities, rules, and courtesies of living in our home. He is on a waiting list for intensive outpatient therapy. Hoping that will help matters. I am also determined to get the 4 of us (hubby, me, son, & 16-yr-old daughter) family counseling. We desperately need it and I have been requesting it for literally years. I am determined to get it done this time, so that we can stay together as a family. Hubby and daughter want my son thrown out of the house for breaking certain rules, but I am battling to keep our family together. As a result, I am often caught right in the middle of everything. You'd think I'd be used to it by now.

My hubby and I have tickets to a concert on the evening of the 27th. We just found out that it's bike night. I am SOOOO hoping that all of the bikers will be as nice as YOU!!! We will probably stick out like sore thumbs! :lol:

Way to go on working out every day! :carrot: I have also been much more consistent with exercise lately, although alI I am able to do right now (post-op) is walk on the treadmill. My eating has TONS of room for improvement. :(

Hey all!

Catinhat, I am sooo glad for you that Mother Earth is waking up (woken up!) for you!!! the thought of apricot trees in bloom and bees buzzing around is a dreamy blissful image to me :D and I'm glad the hen is better. Oh yes and three big hugs :hug::hug::hug: I hope your job is secure.

purplecow, I am sorry I skimmed over the part about the boyfriend, I hope things work out best for YOU. and sending doggie love :)

Kathleen, OH how wonderful that you are healing so well!!! but sad to hear about tense times in your family. Why people fight the idea of counseling is beyond me :?: I can only guess its because people are afraid of change, or shifting of secure habits..I hope you can convince them. I hope you have a great time at the upcoming concert, and ooo, bike night! :D I have observed that if one is interested and complimentary on someone's bike, comment on the paint job or accessories, it's like complimenting someone's baby :D

I went on youtube to choose a workout, and picked a Bob Harper "beginner" one...holy moly that dude works you :devil: but I stuck to it and did all 40 minutes.

Lisa we are hoping the phone interview went well!

my dog was so happy at seeing me come home tonight, he jumped up and I wasnt prepared, and one of his claws came so close to my left eye, that he tore out one of my fake eyelashes :rofl: yes I was scared at first to look in a mirror but I can't even see a scratch, I guess the eyelash was ready to come off soon anyway :D can't stay mad long at my Eddie boy.

the past couple days have been bi-polar ,weather-wise!! mild...rain...turning to snow...melting...rain, more snow, more melt, ugh. It really is typical for April in Vt. but I ...want...mild...and ... SUN :sunny:

Congratulations, Lisa!
 

Lisa: I am so happy to hear that you got the job with Hallmark!!! :) When do you start? And you said you won't be working in the stores. So where will you be stocking displays, etc.? I hope you love it! :)

LisaLuvsHearts, congrats! That's the best part! It's really fun - I hope you like it! :) I hope you feel better soon!

I'm tired tonight too....g'night, all!

Hello I just joined and read all theses post.. made me feel happy I found this website and hope to find support and also give it the best I can !

Believe- you have your battles don't you? but you seem really strong or at the very least strong willed. That will go a long way

Lisa - so glad you got the job. hope you feel better

Cat- I'm sorry, but the picture in my head of you feeding and watering that hen made me laugh. What an ordeal! i hope she pulls through. I can't imagine a chicken just snuggles up in your lap and eagerly takes food and water.

Vermont - Spring will come!

All - some comments about clutter made me think. Do I have clutter because I'm depressed, or does the clutter depress me? Probably both.... I had to clean up clutter so they could spray the house for fleas, and it was overwhelming. I felt like I was doing a lot but it barely made a dent in the mess....

Jake (dog) is home. Weak, but still determined!

Welcome Missmanda89!
 

Missmanda89: :welcome: to the group! :) I hope you will find lots of support here. So happy you posted! :)

Hello,

Welcome, Missmanda 89!

Kathleen, I hope you are able to convince everyone that family counseling will help. You are in a tough spot right now. I think people are embarrassed about counseling and do not want anyone to know they need it; they think it shows a weakness. It shows a STRENGTH! You know you need an outsider's view/help to get through these tough times, and you are taking charge of the problems. Good for you!

Holly! Only one more day of the Rat B*stard??? Your weather sounds better than ours - we have had a weird winter on Cape Cod this past year - mostly mild until late March, then crazy!

Lisa, Congratulations! That job sounds like it will be fun and interesting. Will you be going to stores like CVS that carry Hallmark cards?

Purple, I think the depression and clutter are a vicious cycle. I would come home depressed and tired, disgusted with myself basically, and I would not have the energy to clean. Then the clutter would depress me. I got out of it by sticking to the 30 minutes a day; I also have a cleaning lady every other week. A few years ago I did one drawer or shelf a day for months - every cabinet, every piece of furniture, every closet, the basement, the garage - When I finished that project I was quite pleased with myself. I was shocked at the number of duplicate kitchen utensils I had - I kept one of each. I made many trips to the Salvation Army and St. Vincent dePaul drop-offs. It is such an uplifting feeling! I love knowing where everything is; I know exactly where to look for anything in the house.

Fi, if you are reading along I am thinking of you. You could give us all advice on cleaning clutter! You did your entire house in preparation for the kittens.

I started my declutter project when I was losing weight and feeling upbeat. My house has always looked clean and fairly tidy - but, if you opened a drawer or cabinet you were taking your life into your hands!!!! That was what was getting to me.

I think if you do it slowly like I did, it is not so overwhelming, yet you get the same result - a well-organized home.

Take care, everyone.

good morning and welcome :welcome: to Missmanda! i hope you find this place a secure little corner to come to :)

purplecow, YAY for Mr. Jake being home :)

congrats Lisa!! :cheer2:

Easyspirit, wow that was such a great plan to just tackle ONE shelf or drawer a day..just one..what a sense of accomplishment and wise not to take something huge on all at once.

YES today is the last day at the Rat B@stard's!! here is a small example of what a horrible person he is, customers are asking him if he is going somewhere on vacation during this time off? he answeres..."Brussells". What a piece of sh*t . He thinks that's funny. OK I will stop ranting :devil:

Did a quick workout this morning, light weights and leg lifts.

Hi to everyone and have a good day I hope!

Hi everyone! I haven't posted here before but I've struggled with depression for the last few years. It started with grad school and several deaths within about a year and a half at the most stressful time in my life - my 2 cousins, my best friend, my grandmother and my 19 year old cat . Last year I got really bad, and ended going to the doctor and cried in her office and finally decided to move back to my home state. I found a local job snd moved in with my parents. My mother was really worried about me and honestly I was starting to get worried. I would call in sick for work because I couldn't get out of bed and spend half the day in bed crying. My coworkers who don't know my situation thought I was crazy for giving up that job but there are more important things in life like my sanity, health, my family/friends, and happiness. I felt like I was just waiting to die when I lived there partly because of the isolation and lack of support. I've been back home for a few months and just being around family and friends has helped so much, and making goals. My big goals for this year are to lose weight and get out of debt. And I feel like I am actually making some headway on both which is amazing. I do currently have a one hour commute (one way)) which kind of sucks, but I try to make the best of it by listening to a funny talk show or upbeat music.

And when I went to the doctor, she ran some blood work and I was deficient on a few things. So i practice self care now and make sure I sleep and shower and take vitamins. And I try to do something with friends every weekend or two.

The comments about clutter have hit home. When i felt terrible, my house was always a disaster because I didn't care. I'm living with my parents now, so I'm basically living out of boxes and can never find anything. It's frustrating and I haven't been motivated to do anything about it. I dont have a ton of stuff but when it's all packed in one room with a bed and closet, it's overwhelming. I guess that should be my next goal. Anyway, I was so glad to find this group. Hope everyone is having a good Sunday 😊😊

Congrats on the job!! Hope you feel better soon!

Thanks for the warm welcome! I know how it feels to feel bogged down with cleaning the house, sometimes I think it's either I take care of the clutter and I don't work out or I work out and leave the house messy. I think I am slowly learning,with many things in life that is slowing us down, is that we need to take it one day at a time. If I stop worrying about a perfect house and just focus on myself and the little decisions I make day to day I think I can make the changes I need... I hope everyone is enjoying this Sunday. . Unfortunately here in Canada it's snowing .... ☺☺

good morning! This is my FIRST DAY AWAY FROM THE ROTTEN WINTER BOSS job :cool: I don't want to rub it in, but I will have almost five weeks off :eek: :dance: :flow1: :dancer: Here is a funny for you...he handed my pay to me, and said 'there's a little something extra for you'. When I got home, I opened it and found out yes..TWO DOLLARS extra :devil: Maybe he meant to make it more...whatever.

Even if I can't control my eating, I will make myself work out every day :strong: because I don't have any valid excuse about no time :D

Hi Rin and :welcome: ! am so sorry to hear about all the close people who left you :( how hard for you!! sounds like the move back home is what you need for now. BEST wishes on your goals of weight loss and debt loss :)

missmanda, how I commiserate with crummy weather woes, we are white outside again, and cold, and this actually is typical for Vermont in April, but I ...want...Spring!!

HI to everyone else, and you will see me here alot more, as I have the time, and I do love to read all over the forum when I am trying to be in 'diet mode'.

Welcome!
 

Rin: :welcome: to the group! It sure sounds like you've been through a lot... but it also sounds like you can see the light at the end of the tunnel now. I wish you the best with your goals of losing weight and getting out of debt! We will be here cheering you on! :cheer2: I hope you will find the support you need here. :)

Yay Holly!!!
 

Holly: I cannot tell you how very happy I am to know that you are DONE with your winter job and the rat b@st@rd boss!!! :carrot: :bravo: :cp: :dancer: I so hope you will thoroughly enjoy your time off! You definitely deserve it! :)