heeheee thanks Kathleen! :)

this morning I did these two workouts - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-_tJ...st=WL&index=55 this guy is a hoot!! very young and hip but so enthusiastic. Next one was this lady Pahla B https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f0du...st=WL&index=52

today looks to be another crummy weather day, its 38 and total overcast with low clouds, might be a few of those crummy wet snowflakes later also, BUT our forecast shows some blue sky and SUN :sunny: and some WARMTH later in the week! so today should be a 'tackle some inside job' day, I def need to pay some bills, deposit my last paycheck (with those bonus 2 dollars :devil: ) and shop for some healthy foods.

did I tell you all that our younger son and fiance did decide on a wedding date?? this July 23rd :cool: VERY small and low key, the actual ceremony in a state park which is special to them; then a party at her parent's house/backyard. The fiance's sister had her wedding reception there a few years ago so the family should be familiar with the routine :D Tents and simple foods and a live band, white sparkly lights once it's dusk. I am not stressing about losing flab before then, just gonna do my best :)

HI to everyone, please check in :wave:

and here is some of this stuff because it's so sparkly :dust:

Holly
 

Holly: I am so sorry that I forgot to congratulate you on your HUGE $2 bonus!!! :carrot: That rat b@st@rd boss is a real piece of work!!! :devil: Seriously.... $2??? What a jerk!!!

Congrats on your son's upcoming wedding! Hopefully you like his fiancé. Sounds like a lovely simple ceremony and reception and it will be extra special at her parents' house/backyard. And I am so happy to hear you say that you aren't going to stress over your weight. You may call it flab, but I beg to differ, because I've seen the pictures you've posted of yourself. :p You will look beautiful, I'm sure! ;) Enjoy your sun :sunny: and warmth later this week! :)

Lisa
 

How is everyone else doing?

My son will begin his intensive outpatient therapy tomorrow. I am SO hoping it will help guide him in the right direction and give him some valuable life coping skills. We have had a lot of tension (still) around the house as we strive to work out a balance between giving him the space and privacy he needs while convincing him that he must also comply with our "rules" and wishes. It has been a real rollercoaster ride. He has been constantly testing our limits. We have our first family counseling session this Thursday. Hope we get off to a good start! I have to reschedule our other sessions due to his outpatient therapy. I am committed to keeping us on some sort of schedule for family counseling on an ongoing basis..... at least for awhile. We really need it. Our communication skills with one another are pretty crappy. :( Not much else going on here. Just wanted to check in and say hello! :)

Thank you so much for the warm welcome. 😊 I never really talk about this stuff, so sharing it here helps.

So my new job is quite different from anything I've done before, and I'm always having to go to meetings and stand up and introduce myself. And today I had to give a presentation in front of a huge room full of important people and I totally bombed it. I feel like they probably regret hiring me at this point. My anxiety just took over and it's been added to my most embarrassing moments. I feel like this just is just too stressful and too much pressure sometimes because it's really hard for me to just talk to groups of people I don't know and I have to do it all the time. It's hard for me to even be social with my coworkers because of my anxiety. Im starting to think I should see a doctor about medication for this but I'm worried about side effects. Does anyone else struggle with this? And what do you do about it? Sorry for rambling. I just got home and i just feel so embarrassed by the whole thing

Welcome, Rin and Miss Manda! It's been crazy busy and I haven't posted recently (I also stopped getting notifications, which I need to check on). I will come back later to update, just wanted to poke in here really quick and say I didn't mean to go so long without posting. :)

Holly, I almost fell over when I read the RatB*stard gave you $2.00 extra! What a creep!!!! And, I agree with Kathleen, you do not have to worry about how you look at your son's wedding - I wish I looked like you!

Kathleen, a family member was in an intensive out-patient program after being released from a mandatory in-patient due to a suicide attempt about ten years ago. He has since turned his life around, got a new job, married, etc. and he swears the out-patient hospital is what helped him. He said that if he could afford it, he would sign himself in for two weeks every year for a refresher course! I am hoping and praying your son has the same type experience.

Lisa, I had periods of numbness - totally vegging out - for atleast a year after my mother passed away. It does get better with time.

Fi, hello if you are reading along.

I have not had chocolate in four days - I am still over-eating, but at least not candy.

Greetings to everyone else.

Lisa - Hi and :hug: and thank you for checking in, even if you don't feel like talking, we are here for you and rooting for you :) :cheer2: You just had a major loss, I would think it's perfectly acceptable for you not to want to visit, for any reason. Sending you hugs :)

Kathleen, I see that today is when your son starts the intensive outpatient therapy today, BEST WISHES to him!!! and you!! I'm glad your family did agree to the family counseling, i hope the home tension gets to be diminished for your sake hon, that is no fun. And your surgery recup is still going good? :)

Rin, oh I am sorry to hear that you feel you didn't do well with the presentation, I am in respect of someone who has a job with that level of responsibility, maybe it wasn't as bad as you imagined :hug: but I am sorry that you are so anxious at even your co-workers. I do not have anxiety like that (yay for small favors :dizzy: ) but maybe someone here can tell of possible side effects from meds.

catinhat - Hi! nice of you to check in even though you are busy, is Springtime still happening for you? and how about your job situation? thinking of you.

EasySpirit, yay for no candy! :) yeah the $2 was pretty funny :devil: then he told me that the store was down $45,000 in 4 months because of our no-snow winter...and today they are flying to Dominican Republic for his annual 2 week vacay, well he will enjoy the tropics but he is still a Rat B@st@ed in the tropics, lol.

Hi to Fi if you are reading along :)

missmanda, Hi and I hope it is NOT snowing today for you!

Today I did the #2 Beginner's workout , https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HgSB...&nohtml5=False
I HATE cardio like this but I did it anyway, had to modify alot to protect my knees and just because it was dang hard. But I stuck to the end and got a fist bump from Hoy :D and that was worth it. Then I 'attempted' a Pahla B workout that was floorwork abs, just really difficult, did about half of that, then about 5 minutes of floor abs that I CAN do.

as usual I can commit to working out but I just eat too much, large portions, and do wander into the kitchen when I am bored at night.

today is sunny :sunny: but still too cold for me to want to do outdoor stuff (36 degrees)

For years, I have been getting my med (Wellbutrin) from Canada Drugs, I get a 90 day supply for about $80. Yesterday I was doing errands and thought to ask a local drugstore about their price, just to get a comparision? THREE HUNDRED DOLLARS :eek: :eek: :eek: So my response to the local drugstores saying "you should keep your business local" is pfffft!!

Sorry just now able to respond to everyone – finally sitting down to a computer instead of checking the board on my phone like I usually do.

VermontMom - Way to go on the workout! That sounds tough! And what a terrible boss! He sounds like a jerk! I’ve had bad bosses before, but yours takes it to a whole other level. And congrats on the time off and on you’re son’s wedding! That’s awesome!! I think outdoor weddings are so beautiful and special, and just a lot of fun. And thank you so much for the welcome.  It means a lot. And thank you, I’m feeling a bit better today. It’s like the worst has already happened, so how much more can I screw up? It was kind of freeing, even though the anxiety is still there. But no one really said anything about it today, so I’m trying to turn it into a positive.

IBelieveInMe2 – Thank you for the welcome! It means a lot. I’m just taking it one day at a time and trying to celebrate every small victory. It sounds like you have a lot going on too. Hope everything works out with your son.

Catinhat – Thanks for the welcome! :)


Well, today I did terrible on eating and did not exercise. But tomorrow, I'll work on doing better, and after how crazy this week has been, I'm just trying not to gain and if I turn it around, maybe even go down a pound or so.

Rin
 

Rin: I can certainly sympathize with you about major anxiety. I get it a lot and used to have to give presentations in front of small groups of people YEARS AGO for one of my jobs. I dreaded it every time! And that was before I was on meds! At the time, I thought I was just "nervous," but looking back now, it was part of my pattern/habit/illness of anxiety. I am betting that you were way harder on yourself about your presentation than the others at your job were, especially since they didn't seem to have a negative reaction the next day. And I like your take that it was actually freeing because you feel that the worst has happened. That is thinking positive! I like it! Good for you! :) If you do find that your anxiety interferes with your life too much, though, I would definitely recommend asking your doctor about medication options and their side effects. It can't hurt to ask and get some information from a trained professional. You definitely don't have to go through anxiety without help. It is not a weakness to admit you need help (if you do). It is part of taking care of yourself. I used to be on Buspar daily for anxiety, but they took me off of it last summer when I was forced into a psychiatric hospital for a manic (bipolar) episode. They switched all of my meds around, but now my own psychiatrist has me on .25 (small dose) of Klonopin 2x a day. I used to take it only as needed, but with all that's been going on with my son and family, we decided together that it's best to be on it daily. And it has helped me to cope SO much better. It's not a magic pill, but it takes the edge off of my constant anxiety/worry. I was consumed by it before taking the Klonopin twice daily. Best of luck to you with whatever you decide to do! :hug:

catinhat
 

catinhat: Thank you so much for checking in! I wondered what happened to you. Was beginning to worry. So I appreciate it! :) I know that you have to choose to get notifications with each new monthly thread. Don't know if that might be the issue? Anyway, I hope you get it straightened out. It helps me to get the notifications, too. Hope all is well with you! I, too, am wondering about the status of your job. Please post with an update when you get a chance.

EasySpirit
 

EasySpirit: Thank you for your story about the family member who went through intensive outpatient therapy and swears it helped him. I, too, hope and pray that my son has a very positive experience. Thank you for your prayers for the same. He didn't say much about his first day, other than he liked it. He is a man of few words. I hope to get a little more out of him as he has more sessions. Way to go on 4 days without chocolate!!! :carrot: Hope yesterday made day 5! Keep up the great work and take it ONE day at a time! You can do this!!! We are all rooting for you!!! :cheer2: :cheer3:

Holly (Vermont Mom)
 

Holly: Thank you for your kind words and well wishes for my son and our family. I really appreciate it! :) My recovery from surgery is still going very well, but it seems as though my left arm is swelling again. :( The swelling seemed to be down some right after surgery, which gave me a lot of hope that the surgery was working. I will find out more at my 4 week post-op appointment with my doctor this Friday. This swelling has me worried, though. :( I am thinking that IF the surgery helped, it might take awhile for new pathways for the lymphatic flow to develop. They connected lymph nodes to veins in 6 places in the hopes that the lymphatic fluid will flow out through those veins. I guess it normally would go up my left arm and across and flow out through my heart, but when I had the 19 lymph nodes removed (with my mastectomy), I developed blockage at the site (under my left arm).

That is CRAZY about the price comparison of getting your Wellbutrin at a local drugstore!!! $300 is ridiculous!!! I'm thankful you can get a 90 day supply for $80 at your current pharmacy. Yes, stick with it!

I am in awe of and downright afraid of the workouts you do on youtube!!! :eek: :fr: I have a difficult time working out to videos because it takes me so long to figure out the different poses. I am a bit obsessed with having the correct form. You must be a fast learner. Good for you for sticking with it! Wish I could do the same! All I'm allowed to do right now (post-op) is walk outdoors or on the treadmill. At least I can do that. But I am totally impressed with the variety of difficult videos you have been doing!!! ;)

Lisa
 

Lisa: Would you be interested in doing a scrapbook page of memories of your mom? Just a thought. It might be therapeutic and healing. Or just do a page on your feelings right now. I feel sure that your desire to sleep a lot and avoid engagement must be from your grief ~ expressed or not. Maybe scrapbooking would help! I hope you will begin to read again, too. I know you like to read. Also, please keep us posted on your job with Hallmark. I hope you will hear from them soon! Please take good care of yourself! We all care a lot about you and want you to be well! :hug:

Everyone Else!
 

Coop, Fi, & Everyone Else: Waving hello and wishing you well! :wave: Please pop in to say hello and let us know how you are doing. ;)

good morning friends! (see, when I have time off, I can come here daily! :D )

before I lose them, here are the 2 workouts I just did. The first one is the Pahla B lady, she has such a sweet demeanor but she is a strong lady :devil: I had to modify a bit but did my best. The second one is the very charismatic and energetic Millionaire Hoy, I am on Day 3 of his HIIT Beginner 30 Day Challenge. I hate cardio like this but I am making myself do it!!

http://pahlabfitness.com/2015/07/07/...ith-dumbbells/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rpaSdeDJo0U

Kathleen , I hope so much that the left arm swelling stops!! that is amazing what the surgeons did, such delicate work, and I hope your arm starts behaving the way it should :D thanks for the comps ( :fr: ) on the workouts I'm doing, LOL!! I absolutely modify when I have to but am trying to stick to it. Absolutely you should only do what you are allowed to, during your healing. I hope it's nice enough outside to enjoy a walk with your dog(s?)

Lisa, oh gosh of course it would be sad to think about your mom's landline being cancelled :( that is a very final thing!! Did you create something with your scrapbooking? best wishes to you :hug:

Rin - hey if no one said anything about the meeting the other day, maybe it was not a big deal to them..anyway, good for you for sounding like you can just move on from it :hug: Hope you have a better day with eating and exercise :cool: thanks for the comps on the workout, and the commiseration about the rotten boss :devil:

EasySpirit, ,we are sprinkling all kinds of :dust: here for no sugar!!

and HI to everyone else :)

super - sunny today!! :sunny: but still only 39 degrees at 11 a.m., it's gotta get to at least 50 and sun for me to want to work outside, hope it gets there. I've been terribly unproductive but don't care :devil: well I have done daily house stuff but not tackled any clutter or projects yet. And I don't feel guilty about it :D I am enjoying this time off so much.

Hey friends :)

first, here's my workouts for today - Day 4 of HIIT Challenge for Beginners https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-_tJ1Se57WE and then a 20 min. Jessica Smith workout with hand held weights. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vh3N...XC2N3&index=53

THEN because it was beautiful out :sunny: sunny and 52 degrees, I did extensive yard work, I lopped off over 100 small saplings, then sawed down about 20 intermediate saplings. I'm not a tree hater :devil: just trying to manage the ever-encroaching woods. I don't know if I will be able to visually see a difference once the big trees leaf out, but for now I can see my work! :carrot: I was outside working for almost 4 hours :cool:

I do hope that this weekend, my husband can do the process of getting our bikes out of the garage, powered up and ready :scooter:

I already feel SO much better, just from being able to be outside and toiling in the dirt :D

Hi kathleen! Sorry I've been quiet, I'm reading but haven't been posting! Hope all has been going well with your sons treatment.

Did mean to say congratulations to Lisa on the new job! I hope you enjoy the new work.

Also hello to the new posters! And hi to everyone else!

Coop good to hear from you!! :hug: so you started a new med in the beginning of April, has it been working for you with no bad side effects? Hope so! :cool:

HI to everyone :wave:

this morning I did Day 5 of the beginner's HIIT workout challenge https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1THUq5t0R-Y

then headed outside for more yard work, man o man I am so thrilled at what I accomplished today!! a seemingly impenetratible (spelling??) border of horrible stupid branchy things, I had to use the loppers and sawed at some, then to remove YEARS of raked leaves from that area, but OH my gosh it looks better!! :cheer2:

Side effects aren't too bad just now, just feeling quite queasy. It's helped me lose a few lbs at least... I do hope they will work, but I won't know for a couple of months!

Are you still pain-free from the op? Hooe any swelling has gone away!

Rin - Welcome. I read your post about your presentation a few days back. I too have to speak in front of groups and make presentations as part of my job. I am always nervous, but find most of the time people don't notice as much as i think they do. However, I am on Klonapin and it helps a lot with my general anxiety. I'm sure it wasn't as bad as you thought! I don't think the side effects are bad at all. It helps me sleep and I go through my day more relaxed.

Lisa - how is the new job?

Holly - your posts make me laugh and smile. you are a hard worker! (even if you get a two dollar tip for your efforts - his is a jerk!)

Everyone else you are in my thoughts! Welcome Manda!

I had a extremely tough week on my willpower this week, but was 100% true to my diet! We had clients in and food and drink was everywhere to tempt me. As a reward for my great willpower, my weight finally dropped below 200 for the first time in 5 years or so!:cheer2: I was pleased and sad to think about how far i let things get out of hand, but in general it was a wonderful moment.

I love this group you keep me going!

Hello all, just checking in while I have a minute - I think it would be good to do a little update, plus I have a question and would love some input.

First, my boss was asked to resign, so that has made things very busy for me, as we are closing out clients and getting some transferred to other therapists. I am a little frustrated because there are things I've asked about repeatedly that he suddenly wants to be caught up on. I first reminded myself that his poor planning doesn't mean I have to put my family's life in upheaval...and then I reminded him that I agreed to 15-20 hours a week and am not available to do much more than that. At this point, he is looking for a new agency for employment, and there may be a week or two when I will have less to do (which would be just fine).

Other than that, we had a lovely start to spring, then a blizzard. It was our second storm like this, and I'm fairly certain we've lost our fruit on the apricot trees. The others have not blossomed yet, so I hold out hope for them. We have baby chicks in a tote box in my daughter's bathroom and I have a basket full of garden seeds I'm eager to plant...as soon as the weather turns 'for real'.

My husband decided he needs to eat differently to improve his health, and I am glad for it. He has really cut back on the junk and is watching his sugar intake, which is good for me because then there is less of that stuff in the house. I'm happy about that, and enjoying trying new recipes and tweaking old ones.

Finally...I've been having anxiety and some panic attacks for the past few months. I had this before, saw a therapist, got some help and got lots better. There have been many changes since then, a couple years have gone by, and I am wanting to see her again. Before, my cost was $25 a session, but now with changes in insurance, she is not even on my plan (which, if she were , it would be deductible and I'd still pay 100%). Now it will be $85. I'm debating what to do, because if I were to see someone 'on plan' the $ would at least go toward our deductible. On the other hand, she already knows me, I know her, the intake session would not be lost to paperwork and building rapport so much as catching up and setting goals.....what would you do? I plan to go every other week (she OK'd that) to 'stretch' the time a bit, and I can probably affort to do about 6-7 sessions before I think it's costing us too much. If you have thoughts, I'd really appreciate your input.

Other than all that (this is long!) I'm still not motivated to exercise at all, and I think that has to do with some negative body image stuff....or maybe I'm just lazy. I hope y'all are doing well! I plan to come back tonight and get caught up on everyone's postings.

EasySpirit - congrats on your stretch of choco-free days! Cheering you on and hoping you're doing well with everything!

VermontMom - good for you with your new workout! I will work at things all day, but I'm terrible about doing things that are just for the sake of exercise. I hope it goes well for you as you move forward!

IBelieveInMe2, how are you feeling? I hope you're still recovering well and feeling good as you're healing.

LisaLuvsHearts, I'm a rubber stamper, which is similar to scrapbooking sometimes. I am going to make Mother's Day cards for my mom and mom in law. They have a pocket on the front that is a flowerpot, and I am going to tuck in some flower seeds. The rest is mostly stamped with butterflies, flowers, springtime stuff! I have to think about the quote or saying to add, then I'll be all set. :)

Rin, I used to be really nervous speaking in front of people. Now, one of my side jobs is animal programs for children in our library district. I've had as many as 400 people (it's usually a lot less), and sometimes the newspaper or a tv station shows up. I always think I sound like a dolt, but I get good response from people and they think it's great....so I bet you did fine. We often worry when we're nervous, even when things are OK. :)

Coop, I want to be nosy and ask if 'coop' has anything to do with chickens? I'm a bit of a crazy chicken lady. (that's one of the programs I do for the library district!)

PurpleCow, good for you, sticking to your plan! I am not good about that. There, I said it.

I hope I didn't miss anyone. If I did, I'm really sorry! I'll try to be better about checking in more frequently.

If i were you I would stay with Therapist you know. It takes so long to build relationship and sometimes you get a therapist you just don't feel comfortable with. My 2 cents from my experience..... My company switched plans and i paid out of pocket to see my therapist for a while (until we convinced them to switch back to old insurance.) It was rough, but worth it in the end. Best of luck to you! anxiety attacks are no fun....

Hi everyone,

I am so sad and down today. I don't have any food for supper and I don't really care. I am full of grief. They said I would have bad days but I didn't see this coming. I am sitting here crying for my mom. I just miss her. There really isn't much more to say.


Much love to all.

Oh, LisaLuvsHearts...big fat hugs (from big fat me!). I am sorry you're having a bad day. You're in my thoughts....

PurpleCow, I agree about therapy and finding someone who is a good fit. At one point over the weekend, I had emailed her to say I was going to put it off for a bit, think things over, all that. Last night I had a really awful panic attack, and I wrote her back this morning. We meet Wednesday at 9. :)

The way my panic attacks present, I fall asleep, and then wake up an hour or so earlier already in the midst of all the icky physical stuff. I walk/pace the house for about half an hour, then usually I can sit down...and eventually go back to sleep. Last night I could feel it coming before I ever went to sleep. It was more intense than usual, and kind of scary. I considered going to the ER, but didn't...and ended up having a shot of brandy (which is something I almost never do - I don't drink and probably hadn't had anything in 2 years). I am tired today, from the lack of sleep, the tremors, etc. Hopefully tonight will be better.

My day has gone OK, and I hope all of you have done OK today too. If so, tell us about your day! If not, tell us about your day! One thing I love about here is the support that is available in good times and bad. Thank you all for that. :)

Whoa!! that is so great, congrats!! :cheer2:

:( poor Lisa! I am so sorry you are overwhelmed with grief today, and feeling worried about your lack of food too :( we are sending you HUGS :hug:

catinhat - I am sorry about the change in employment, I hope it works out to YOUR advantage somehow :) I am very sorry to hear about the stupid blizzard and the apricot trees, I hope all your other growing things are safe!! (chicks too! ) I have no experience with therapists but I would also say try to connect with your previous person, you have that attachment and I 'm sure it will be worth the money :)

I would say you get quite a workout with your homestead!!

I don't have experience with panic attacks but they sure sound crummy :(

Hello to everyone else! I did the responses above, to lessen the chance of ripping out my hair when I lose them in cyberspace :devil:

Yesterday and today was more intense yard work, I can't believe what I have accomplished :cheer2: clearing areas that were heavily brush and years of leaves and sticks. Also went on my de-forestation when I needed a break from raking and pulling raspberry vines; cut down dozens more of scruffy little saplings. Also discovered about 4 little evergreens struggling to grow, i cleared out stuff around them to help them.

Been visiting my 3 new rhubarb plants and talking to them :rofl:

Treated myself to a new pair of loppers from the hardware store, a girl's gotta have the right tools, lol.

Today was Day 7 of the challenge that I'm doing, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sPULneNy6L0 and lucky me, it was devoted to stretching/yoga. I don't know much about yoga but I did my best and the stretching felt so great and I was all melty-feeling afterward.

Trying very hard to focus on eating more 'whole' type foods and less processed. It helps that we don't have crackers, chips or cookies or anything 'good' in the house :devil: bit I can't give up whole wheat bread toast, or burrito wraps, or wheat english muffins.

I won't get on the scale either, I have NO idea how much i weigh, but that scale does more to depress me than clothing sizes. Last year (or the year before) I actually took the scale and put it in the garage because I couldn't stay off it and got too frustrated when it wouldnt' show a loss, or would show a gain.

OH best of all we got out on the bikes yesterday :cool: When I was a newbie, I used to worry that I would forget, in the Spring, how to ride, lol, No problems with that anymore, it felt SO great. I am always extra careful early in the season, watching for sand and gravel, oh and especially JERK drivers who pull out in front of me, wouldn't you know that happened on my FIRST DAY OUT, luckily it was warm and the wretched driver had their window open so they surely heard what i yelled at them :rofl:

good morning! just finished my sweat for the day, first Day 8 of the HIIT Challenge https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q8Pk2bQL-E4 , then a total heart blaster that I found, this woman is a machine :devil: I modified alot but I loved the thumpthumpthump of the techno music
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O-qzczRRqpM

Still a little cool outside, 41, and drying up from last night's rain so I will wait a bit before i go out for more yard stuff.

Lisa, I'm sorry you're having a bad day. Do they sell rescue remedy over there at all? It's a herbal remedy that's popular over here for it's calming effect. Just a few drops in a bottle of water would stop me feeling close to tears all the time, it really helped get me through a hard day.

Catinhat - hope you get things withwork sorted! Afraid coop isn't chicken related... my last name is Cooper, so it was just a nickname.

Fell way off the wagon and am trying to get back on track but I'm struggling. I'm going to exercise and stick to tell plan and then weigh myself in a few days

Rin, sorry to hear of the 'blip' in your efforts! Yay to you for commitment to exercise and sticking to the plan, as you should :cheer2: Yeah don't even attempt to weigh if you think it will just bum you.

Coop - I wish we had that product here, though I'd probably abuse it :shock:

Lisa - :hug: I'm glad you spoke to your physician about how you're feeling about your Mom, it just plain sucks doesn't it. You probably know that it will get better, but don't know when, and don't know when it just washes over you unexpectedly. we are thinking of you and pulling for you! Hug your dog and kitty extra :) Oh and very sorry to hear of the hip pain! is this something new?

Hi to Kathleen, EasySpirit, purplecow, catinhat, and is MissManda still with us? I did 'see" Fi posting elsewhere on the forum so she is still kinda here :)

Another beautiful day here, sunny and 55, perfect for working outside. Each time I think I'm done with the yard, I get inspired to tackle something else. today it was raking back the cut down blackberry brambles and 10 years worth of leaves. Then picked up the bow saw and loppers AGAIN and heading into the woods for more cutting down.

I am giving my peonies and rhubarb plants water daily, cause we've had hardly any rain.

this morning's workout was Day 10 of the Beginner's HIIT Challenge, 30 minutes. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VmRA515kREI

Hey so all these ads here are new, aren't they? it used to be you were only bothered by ads if you were on the site without being logged in; once you signed in, the ads would disappear. Now they're all over the place.. Huh.

Well I still haven't received my first umemployment insurance check!! from the week of the 4th! I hate to call them, I did call on Monday and they said it was 'going out that day'. Well I would usually receive a piece of mail the next day, but I'll be patient and wait til tomorrow, then call again.

Hello, friends.

Lisa, we all must go through the steps of the grieving process. There are days you will be okay, days you will be miserable, and days where you just feel like something is missing- not quite right. Eventually you will have more good days than bad, and still later you will find acceptance. You will never forget, and certain songs, people, tv shows, will make you think of your mother - but the thoughts get easier in time. I have never watched Dancing with the Stars, but my mother loved it. Whenever someone mentions it, I think of her....things like that.

Holly, you are a whirlwind! Between the yard work and the exercise, you have been great!

Fi, Hello my friend if you are about.

Kathleen, I hope things are going well for you and your family, especially your son. Life can be tough.

Hello to everyone else.

Like Rin, I have fallen, or I should say JUMPED, off the wagon. I ate both ice cream and chocolate this week, and did not stop until it was gone. I have also been dealing with family problems that have me upset, and I ate the ice cream to calm myself. I like odd-shaped tins, and a friend found one shaped like a teddy bear at HomeGoods and bought it for me - unfortunately, it was filled with decadent chocolates - I ate every one of them. I know I cannot have anything like that in my home; I eat it all when I am upset - which I am at this point. THREE family members are having emotional problems - job related and marital - and all three seem to think I am the one to spill the beans to. In reality, I just put up a good front. They have no idea how they upset me - my stomach is in knots, I get queasy and sometimes light-headed. And, I calm myself by exercising and eating sweet things. (how is that for a crazy combination?)

My weight is up, I jump when the phone rings, I feel on edge, like I am waiting for the other shoe to drop constantly.

Hi Holly. It really does suck. I spend a lot of time blocking it out, maybe I shouldn't but I can't go 24/7 thinking about it. I need to live my life but it does seem to always be there over my shoulder.
I am spending my time with the pets. I love them so much. Jennifer is home for a couple of days, that always helps to not be alone.
The hip just every once in a while would not let me put pressure on it. Now however, it is hurting me a lot more. I have never felt pain like this before. I don't know what to do?
Anyway, again I'm sorry for complaining.

Lots of love to you, Holly. :)