Depression and Weight IssuesHave you been diagnosed with depression, are possibly on depression medication, and find it affects your weight loss efforts? Post here for support!
Hello!! sorry I've been absent. I'm in my winter drone mode, just getting to work, get home, shovel or sand the driveway if needed, eat, climb into bed with electric blanket and Kindle and do it all over again the next day.
Fi, I'm so glad you enjoyed the snow and saw it's white beauty; and I hope today is better for you pain-wise.
Lisa - Oh that sux about your client making you sick with anxiety!! I hope so much that he calms down for you.
The Librarian - parting ways with your parents was a huge step but must have seemed the right thing to do..I'll tell ya, the story about the 4 wheeler made me gasp, that parents would be so awful to let an 8 yr old feel responsible like that. Regarding your hub's eating habits..I think you nailed it when you said his laziness overcomes his need for food, and that clashes with your style. Somehow you have to work around that, I guess.
ap14 - I am so sorry you were bothered by the friend's comment..yeah I would also, probably, but you know how easy it is to misinterpret words and sometimes it's just a lack of emoji. And about friends - it is SO hard for a quiet, introverted person to get out and be social, I like to be led by people, I don't do it on my own, and that can lead to alot of loneliness! I don't have any advice, just commiseration
Kathleen - I was so scared to read about your son's recent feelings...oh how awful for you!!!! but he reached out to his parents and you helped him
Bookmark - I'm sorry to hear of your face planting after feeling that you were moving forward! but I have to tell you, your statement "Life can be such a dick sometimes" made me smile and i agree we just have to hang in there!!!
Hi EasySpirit, how are you??
I hope I haven't forgotten anyone
I am working extra hours on my days off, just because I like $$
I was gonna skip working out today, but I saw on the news that a young woman who had part of her leg blown off in the Boston bombing, is going to run the whole Marathon this year!! that shamed me into deciding that I have NO excuses. Yeah I have knee pain but i can modify. So I needed to post here and am then gonna do a Jillian Michael's dvd.
I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder and Generalized Anxiety Disorder at the age of 13. I had features of OCD also. A few years later in my first year of college, I was diagnosed with Bulimia (bingeing/starving cycle). got that sorted out in the summer of last year. I was prescribed Topamax and after being on almost every psych med you could think of, it it cured my eating problems but made me so emotional. Right before I was given this med something traumatic happened to me but I didn't tell anyone.
Ever since then my Anxiety has been absolutely crippling. After trying my best to get rid of it with willpower, I did. But I did it to the point where I felt numb. Instead of feeling high and low like I always have, I felt extremely low (depressed) and numb. It wasn't until a couple of weeks ago when I went to my amazing doctor that I realized I may have Bipolar Disorder. She suggested it but she wasn't sure either. I was prescribed an ADHD/ Binge Eating stimulant medication which made me feel great but gave me crazy mood swings and migraines when it wore off. It was then that I realized that I am Bipolar. I'm either numb and switching to depressed, or high and switching to low, I am never stable, and thinking back on my teen years, every traumatic thing that happened was due t be being in mania. I truly believe now that I am bipolar, and it explains all of those false diagnoses I had. I always wondered why I was given so much treatment but nothing ever helped. I always wondered why I was so treatment resistant.
Currently I am on Day 4 of 5mg Abilify. It is the first antipsychotic I have been on and it is amazing. It has lifted me out of such a dark place, one where I felt like I was drowning. I had horrible drowsiness and hiccups and acid reflux for the first days, and I am still very spaced out today, but maybe this is how my personality is supposed to be. The only think I'm worried about is the weight gain but I'm starting Wonderslim ore tomorrow.
Oh, it does! Especially now! Let's look back on the past 5 days...
Saturday: P.F. Chang's, my idea, barely went over calorie count, and we were out with his siblings.
Sunday: He wants to go out again. Doesn't say to eat but I know me and I know somehow there will be food. So between that and my homework due the same night, I said no.
Monday: He comes home at 8pm and wants to go out to eat. I go out of guilt, end up overeating by 2k calories because he can't figure out how to eat like an adult.
Tuesday: I fast. He goes out AGAIN with co-workers to eat hibachi, my favorite effin' thing, and I force myself to say no and continue my fast. I wasn't really suffering, I got hungry a few times but not for long, but I knew that I could not walk into a hibachi joint and eat a tiny portion. So I spent the evening alone alternating between anger, loneliness, and, of course, depression.
Wednesday: He orders himself pizza because why would he ever think to just pack himself a lunch? I mean, he's got me, the idiot, packing myself lunches to save money so he can stuff his face every day.
I just cleared my 48 hour fast so I thought I would have a bit of his leftovers because I'm actually quite starving now. Just as I say, "I am going to eat some of your leftovers", he says, "Oh...well I was just about to eat them, too."
Like WTF **** dude? He has hibachi leftovers, pizza, and wings. You have got to be effin' kidding me. Oh, but he did offer me the hibachi - hardened rice, that's all that was left. So I picked out 3 small bites of steak and 2 small bites of chicken and left the rest in the microwave for him if he wanted it. Of course he didn't, it's still sitting there, and he's gorging himself on wings. I just left the tiny slices of pizza in the fridge. He told me to go ahead and eat them, don't feel bad, but yeah so then what was the effin' point of telling me you were about to eat it yourself?
I am really re-thinking my choices in life because my ride ain't quite so easy as his these days and I'm becoming resentful, both of him and of eating in general. I push back on depression, and something shoves it right back in my face. I'm just trying not to cry so I needed to vent before bed.
Ugh. Have you guys tried going to see a counselor together and talked it out loud with a 3rd party? That would be my first step (if you haven't already). Why don't you try to get him to eat healthier (yes, I know - easier said than done) and then promise him a meal of his choice at the end of the week? So if he eats his food, he can have wings or pizza on Saturday night? So you guys aren't eliminating bad food altogether, and you also have something to look forward to.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fiona W
Yesterday was rough. My right leg was hurting bad from hip joint down to ankle. So I dragged myself into my studio and made another abstract collage.. (Click on image for larger version.) But the pain just kept getting fiercer all day. By mid-afternoon I was really angry. I cry when I'm angry. Bob got weary of listening to me cry.
Usually I meet with Mike every Tuesday and Thursday. Mike called me and asked if we could bump our Thursday time to Friday, because he had a meeting on Thursday. Unfortunately, a work crew is coming on Friday to install new windows on the back of our house, second floor. So I had to tell Mike I wouldn't be able to see him again until this coming Tuesday. That was a bummer. I could tell Mike wasn't very happy about it either, so I restrained myself from letting him know how awful I felt.
It's early in the morning as I write these words. My leg isn't too bad, but I don't know yet whether today will be better.
Awesome collage! Just make sure you rest your leg and try not to irritate it anymore
Quote:
Originally Posted by VermontMom
ap14 - I am so sorry you were bothered by the friend's comment..yeah I would also, probably, but you know how easy it is to misinterpret words and sometimes it's just a lack of emoji. And about friends - it is SO hard for a quiet, introverted person to get out and be social, I like to be led by people, I don't do it on my own, and that can lead to alot of loneliness! I don't have any advice, just commiseration
The introverted comment - yes yes yes yes and YES! It seems like no one ever understands that. "Oh, just go out and make friends! It's easy, just say hi!" WELL IT DOESN'T WORK THAT WAY! I like when people strike up a conversation with me, rather than the other way around.
I hope Lisa is doing better, as well as everyone else. I feel part of the "down" attitudes is a result of the crummy winter weather. We need some sunshine!
I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder and Generalized Anxiety Disorder at the age of 13. I had features of OCD also. A few years later in my first year of college, I was diagnosed with Bulimia (bingeing/starving cycle). got that sorted out in the summer of last year. I was prescribed Topamax and after being on almost every psych med you could think of, it it cured my eating problems but made me so emotional. Right before I was given this med something traumatic happened to me but I didn't tell anyone.
Ever since then my Anxiety has been absolutely crippling. After trying my best to get rid of it with willpower, I did. But I did it to the point where I felt numb. Instead of feeling high and low like I always have, I felt extremely low (depressed) and numb. It wasn't until a couple of weeks ago when I went to my amazing doctor that I realized I may have Bipolar Disorder. She suggested it but she wasn't sure either. I was prescribed an ADHD/ Binge Eating stimulant medication which made me feel great but gave me crazy mood swings and migraines when it wore off. It was then that I realized that I am Bipolar. I'm either numb and switching to depressed, or high and switching to low, I am never stable, and thinking back on my teen years, every traumatic thing that happened was due t be being in mania. I truly believe now that I am bipolar, and it explains all of those false diagnoses I had. I always wondered why I was given so much treatment but nothing ever helped. I always wondered why I was so treatment resistant.
Currently I am on Day 4 of 5mg Abilify. It is the first antipsychotic I have been on and it is amazing. It has lifted me out of such a dark place, one where I felt like I was drowning. I had horrible drowsiness and hiccups and acid reflux for the first days, and I am still very spaced out today, but maybe this is how my personality is supposed to be. The only think I'm worried about is the weight gain but I'm starting Wonderslim ore tomorrow.
Welcome to the thread (and board)! I don't have much experience with bipolar disorder, but I wish you all the best. I'm glad the new med is helping!
Bookmark - I'm sorry to hear of your face planting after feeling that you were moving forward! but I have to tell you, your statement "Life can be such a dick sometimes" made me smile and i agree we just have to hang in there!!!
jensmarty:Sending you a huge to the group! I am also diagnosed Bipolar. It took a few trips to psychiatric hospitals (one just in the Summer of 2015) and a few bouts with manic episodes to convince me for sure that I am, in fact, Bipolar. This last time, I tried (against my psychiatrist's advice, but with his help; hubby's idea) to go off of Abilify because I had only had one manic episode in my 49 years of life about 12 years ago, and the circumstances at the time involved a therapist who later got her license taken away. Long story, but we thought MAYBE I wasn't actually Bipolar. To make a long story short, I had an episode of mania early last summer after going off of Abilify in November of 2014, and I ended up (forced) in a psychiatric hospital for the 2nd time in my life. Now, I am on Latuda and Lamictal, and so far, so good. I am back to baseline says my psychiatrist. Thank God! I will never again try to go off anti-psychotic meds! But I guess it took this last time of trying to convince me! Anyway, I am so sorry I need to stop writing now; gotta run somewhere unexpectedly, but I wanted to be sure to welcome you to the group and share my experience with Bipolar. Glad that you finally got a diagnosis you feel "fits." Hopefully, it will be all UPhill for you from here!
jensmarty:Sending you a huge to the group! I am also diagnosed Bipolar. It took a few trips to psychiatric hospitals (one just in the Summer of 2015) and a few bouts with manic episodes to convince me for sure that I am, in fact, Bipolar. This last time, I tried (against my psychiatrist's advice, but with his help; hubby's idea) to go off of Abilify because I had only had one manic episode in my 49 years of life about 12 years ago, and the circumstances at the time involved a therapist who later got her license taken away. Long story, but we thought MAYBE I wasn't actually Bipolar. To make a long story short, I had an episode of mania early last summer after going off of Abilify in November of 2014, and I ended up (forced) in a psychiatric hospital for the 2nd time in my life. Now, I am on Latuda and Lamictal, and so far, so good. I am back to baseline says my psychiatrist. Thank God! I will never again try to go off anti-psychotic meds! But I guess it took this last time of trying to convince me! Anyway, I am so sorry I need to stop writing now; gotta run somewhere unexpectedly, but I wanted to be sure to welcome you to the group and share my experience with Bipolar. Glad that you finally got a diagnosis you feel "fits." Hopefully, it will be all UPhill for you from here!
Thank you so much for the welcome!! I think my story is similar to yours in that I never thought that I could have Bipolar disorder, but when I started to think bout on the past few years of my life, everything that had happened and one event in particular convinced me that I am bipolar, without a doubt. I have been on so many medications but Abilify has been the best by far. I hated the numbing feeling that every other med gave me With Abilify, as long as I get plenty of sleep, I am stable yet emotional. I have always worn my heart on my sleeve, and I love that Abilify doesn't take that away from me. I just started Wonderslim today so I'm hoping that combats the potential weight gain from Abilify.
-jensmarty
Thank you for welcomng me to the group!
Hi all, I am sorry for not being around much lately! I have a lot of catching up to do.... But I will save it until later in the week.
Monday will be the first anniversary of my mum's death, and I am trying to keep myself occupied with other things that don't remind me to feel sad (if that makes sense). I have been busy learning to knit, sewing and doing some gardening research. I'm through at my dad's now though, which I think will have fewer distractions. I will pop back in the next thread.
I hope none of you have been too caught up in these storms! Keep warm and safe all!
Coop27: Thank you for popping in to say hello! I wondered where you were. So sorry you are sad right now. Can't blame you. I will be thinking of you on Monday! Take good care and hang in there!
I have to admit to myself that my failure to follow my healthy living plan has gone to the extreme of relapsing into eating disorder territory. I have been binging. I have been compulsively buying and eating food. I'm so unhappy. This entire month has been not only a waste in terms of weight loss progress, but a total destruction of all my healthy habits and progress. I feel rotten. I had done so well for months....ugh. I know this feeling will pass and I will get back on track eventually. Maybe even tomorrow...but I don't feel like that right now. I just feel like I've failed and I want to whinge about it.
Bookmark, I think we have all been where you are. I have gotten off binges by doing only protein- basically chicken, eggs and cheese for two or three days. That seems to reset my appetite (for a while!)
Fi, I am happy you are now able to do some collages - I enjoy seeing them, it makes me feel you are finally getting some relief.
Kathleen, how have you been feeling?
Holly, since the blizzard last week our weather has warmed up. How has yours been?
Lisa, who do you want to win the SuperBowl next week? Now that the Patriots are out of it, I am hoping the Broncos win.
I am disgusted with my weight, too. I seem to be having a hard time following my own advice right now. In seven days I had a broken furnace, broken cell phone and dead refrigerator. Hopefully it is true that those things come in three. My furnace was fixed, and I have a new cell phone and a new refrigerator. Hopefully February will be the month I stay on track and lose the rest of this weight.
Thanks EasySpirit. I definitely need a few days' reset. Usually that means avoiding triggering foods, and focusing on nutrients - lots of protein like you, and whole grains. Things easy on my tummy. The trick is actually sticking to it for those few days, and then continuing to move forward.
I had four good days in January, which were just that, and then I slipped up. I've been spiraling
Today was SLIGHTLY better. I went and spent my remaining food budget on junk food, but stopped binging when i was just a little over full. Calories for today are not within a weight loss range, but they're also not within a weight gain range, so I'm talking myself down. It's one very small step, but it's in the right direction. I wont go to the gym today because I feel a bit ill, but I'll do my leg workout at home, once my body has settled down. I'm feeling very cautiously optimistic about this evening and tomorrow.
And trying to forgive myself...although that's hard. I'm really disgusted and disappointed with how quickly and hard I've slipped backwards after such great success before Christmas. I'll need to remember this when I'm on track and feeling invincible again, and think I can just have an indulgent evening once and a while........................I just can't do that. A treat is one thing, but a pile of junk food in front of the tv is something I cannot manage without doing it night after night after night. Really, it's not something I should - or should want - anyway. Stupid.
Sorry to hear you've had some challenges this month. Fresh start and all that. I hope February is good for you as well.
Welcome!!!
to the group! I am also diagnosed Bipolar. It took a few trips to psychiatric hospitals (one just in the Summer of 2015) and a few bouts with manic episodes to convince me for sure that I am, in fact, Bipolar. This last time, I tried (against my psychiatrist's advice, but with his help; hubby's idea) to go off of Abilify because I had only had one manic episode in my 49 years of life about 12 years ago, and the circumstances at the time involved a therapist who later got her license taken away. Long story, but we thought MAYBE I wasn't actually Bipolar. To make a long story short, I had an episode of mania early last summer after going off of Abilify in November of 2014, and I ended up (forced) in a psychiatric hospital for the 2nd time in my life. Now, I am on Latuda and Lamictal, and so far, so good. I am back to baseline says my psychiatrist. Thank God! I will never again try to go off anti-psychotic meds! But I guess it took this last time of trying to convince me! Anyway, I am so sorry I need to stop writing now; gotta run somewhere unexpectedly, but I wanted to be sure to welcome you to the group and share my experience with Bipolar. Glad that you finally got a diagnosis you feel "fits." Hopefully, it will be all UPhill for you from here! 
Coop27
Can't blame you. I will be thinking of you on Monday! Take good care and hang in there! 
