Ups & Downs Support Group: September 2014
 

:welcome3: to the Ups & Downs Support Group! Here is our September 2014 thread. Everyone is welcome to join the group, as long as you are willing to give and receive support in your weight loss journey. We named the group Ups & Downs to reflect the many ups and downs in our weight loss journeys, in our life with depression and (for some) on meds, and in life in general. If you are a regular, please post to let us know you found the new thread. If you are new to the group, please tell us a little (or a lot) about yourself. This is OUR forum, so post away!!! :grouphug:

Welcome to the September thread, everyone! I don't know about y'all, but somehow the fact of Sept. 1st falling on a Monday makes it a perfect occasion for a re-start on my diet and exercise goals.

I wish I didn't have this pattern of depression always following stress, but there's nothing I can do about it except live through it. At least now I have kitties to sleep with. =smile=

With Bob at the farm getting my studio there painted, a lot of my thoughts have been about that room. It's going to be my refuge when I go there, so I want to do it up right. Bob doesn't know this yet, but I went to Design Within Reach (dwr.com) and splurged on a 1950s-style space-age floor mat—not round, not rectangular, but a curvy parallelogram. Think "The Jetsons" and you'll know that shape. I also picked up a cool-looking chair, also curvy, on sale—just plastic and chrome, something practical but classy for my great-niece Grace to sit on when she's helping me there. =smile= I already have my own work chair, a simple black office chair on rollers. Bob's found this awesome table in one of his woodworking, etc., supply catalogs: it's sold as an "assembly table," and the top is a maple butcher-block plank that is 12 feet long! I love its grey industrial-looking adjustable steel legs: they look so masculine and serious.

I'm going to enjoy going to the farm so much more, once I have a place to work while I'm there. There's only so much time I can spend all blissed out in the hammock before I get up a head of steam to frickin' make something already!

Up and Down Alright!!!
 

I have to agree Fiona, a Monday and Sept 1st seems like the perfect time to start anew!! Hi IBelieve!! The last couple weeks have been all over the emotional roadmap for me. Now that my meds are working for my mental and not affecting my weight I can focus on the emotional issues that trigger my binges. This last one has been the easiest by far both in intensity and length :)

Still at my wits end with unemployment issues and they did get the best of me in the last 2 weeks. I gained 4 lbs in less than 7 days when I knew something needed to change in how I'm searching, but wasn't sure what to do. I stopped exercising, drinking water and watching what I was eating.

Desperate times call for desperate measures....I headed to my unemployment office website and found a weekly support group. Went to my first meeting last Wed. That lead to two new temp employment agency contacts and a new resume format. Got back on track with my exercise and diet. I've lost 2 of the 4 lbs already and joined a Sept Challenge forum AND I'm waiting on 3 possible phone calls for temp work :carrot:

Have to say it feels pretty good to bounce back so quickly and know that I am the reason. Still not employed, but those long, drawn out depressive episodes scare the heck out of me with the toll they take on my body and mind. Took 3 yrs to find the right med combo. Had given up more than once. My message is to say don't give up! Learn the lesson and move on. Control what we can, which is to find the "right combo" no matter the problem. My present issues are PTSD and unemployment.

What a bad August for me
 

Hi ladies,

I had such a bad last week of August you wouldn't believe it if I told you. I won't burden you with what has gone on in my life. I do still have my jobs for now. I am working and loving my clients.

One thing I did do was fall down and screw up 2 fingers on my left hand. After 3 days, the swelling and bruising has gone down but they are still very sore. I can finally type with them too.


My weight is still up, my headaches have passed. I feel better except for stress. I am taking my meds religiously.


I will keep you all updated and maybe go into details more.


Much love to all.

Hello!
 

Fi: A new month and a new chance to start over and hopefully get things right this time! Sounds good to me, too! :D Our whole little family (of 4) took a LONG walk together at the lake today, which was nice. Later in the day, I rode the recumbent cycle for 20 minutes, too. Food was okay, but I snuck some carbs in here and there. :o At least I got the exercise part right! Tomorrow, I will aim to get food and exercise right, starting with a workout with my trainer at 9am. Striving for PROGRESS and NOT perfection! I tend to feel disappointed unless I am "perfect" with both food and exercise on any given day. I need to be patient and forgiving with myself. Your studio at the farm sounds wonderful! :) Nice that you bought a cool, curvy chair for Grace. She will love it! :D

fool4fotos: Sorry that you had that little "relapse" with your unemployment issues triggering emotional eating. It happens. At least you are facing it head on and have already undone some of the damage. Good for you! :hug: That is great that you joined the unemployment support group and found some great new contacts and a new resume format! I love your message about not giving up!!! :D

Lisa (ohiofreespirit): I am so sorry to hear that you had such a bad last week of August. :( I am happy that you took the time to check in with the group! You never "burden" us by telling us what is going on in your life! We are here to listen and support you if you want to give details. If you choose not to, that's okay, too! Just know that we are on your side!!! :hug: So sorry to hear about your fall and sore fingers! :( Good news that the headaches have passed and you are taking your meds religiously. Boo on the continued high stress and weight being up. I can relate, as my weight seems to REFUSE to budge down at all. It is so very frustrating!!! :( Please hang in there and keep in touch! Sending you a big hug and my prayers! :hug:

Waving HELLO to everyone else! :wave: Here is to a productive and healthy September for us all!!! :cheers:

Just dropping in to say a quick Hello and Happy September. :) :wave: I do love this month, my birthday is the 25th. :D I'll post more later when I have a bit more energy. I hope you all are having a good start to the new month.

Lisa— Oh, that's awful you had a bad last week of August and hurt your hand! I hope it gets better briskly.

Kathleen— Thanks for the feedback about my studio at the farm. I feel rather uneasy about the money I'm spending on it, but that feeling will pass. You go girl, and have a great low-carb week!

The kitties are proving endlessly photogenic, especially in the morning light. One thing that's hard to capture is how much they are in perpetual motion—washing, tussling, etc. I lucked out today and got a freeze frame. And here's a more static shot. Oscar is the one who's more cream-colored, and Nénu is more orange.

I'm afraid I'm turning into one of those doting moms who can't stop taking pictures of her babies. It's so easy to do with the iPad, which is my computer, so it's often in my hands. I always have trouble holding a camera still, but I just rest the iPad on my ample belly, and it's a piece of cake. =laugh= If y'all ever get tired of my cat photos, please let me know. And please do post some of your own cats!

Hi everyone,

Really needing to recommit myself to posting here. It has always helped keep me on track.

I was losing pretty well. Got to 173 and I've been stuck, so as of tomorrow I'm going to drop my calls by 100 and give 1500 a go. I don't want to drop to anything drastic. I'm also really just struggling with eating at night. I'll have extra calories, but then I over do it at night when I have my "snack". This snack basically just turns into another meal.. :/ I'm sure that's really what is getting me, but I need a jump start for my confidence. I need to get into the 160's!

Looking forward to getting back into convo's with everyone here!

IBelieveInMe2 In response to your post in the August thread: Debilitating is definitely a good descriptor for it. This morning I thought "maybe I died and don't remember, and now I'm actually a very high-functioning zombie" in which case, I'm not doing too badly! :dizzy:

I am on prozac for the depression, which has helped a lot. I also take lorazapam as needed for anxiety/panic episodes, but that has turned into an infrequent occurrence, thankfully.

Good luck with the low-carb and exercise!

Fiona I love the pictures of your kitties! They are adorable. I for one would love it if you kept posting them.

ohiofreespirit Ouchie. So sorry to hear about your hand. :( I hope it heals quickly and your stress gets better.

I hope everyone is having a good week so far.

Hi guys, I'm a new member saying hello and hoping I can join in. I'm 37 and have had depression on and off for about 10 yrs, I had a really bad time of it after the birth of my son who is now 4, for about 8 months I could barely get out of bed, I finally got counselling and things are much better now but I still have bad days.

I am one of those people who self medicates when I'm having a good day with exercise, it really does make a huge difference. When I am having a bad day though I just eat and sit on the couch. I know somewhere in my head I should get myself out the door but its just too hard.

My weight has gone up over the summer, we had some financial problems that were on my mind and I ate a lot to cope, we are okay now but the fear that it might happen again is still there. Fiona W you read my mind :) September was a new start for me, my kids are back in school so I have a good routine going and I hope its a new start. The past two days I have been on top of things and feeling okay but I know that won't last and I need to have a good support system in place for when it does. My family and friends are great but don't really get it.

Fool4fotos I know how you feel, I am not working at the moment either, I would love a job but its impossible to find anything at the moment that works around my kids schedule. Everyone wants full time staff and I can't afford child care. Both my kids have special needs so they are not the easiest to place either. Its hard but we can use this time to work on ourselves and getting stronger and fitter and the right job will come up, good luck!!

I'm really looking forward to getting to know you all, we can do this!!!

Arya Stark— Welcome to the Ups & Downs thread! I love your name! (For those of you who don't know, Arya Stark is a wonderful and highly admirable female character in "Game of Thrones.") I'm glad to hear you have learned how to self-medicate with exercise. Keep up the good work! I have yet to learn how to do that myself, but it's on my high-priority list of things to add this month: I do leg lifts every night, but that's not enough. I plan to start walking, now that the temperatures are coming down. Please keep posting: the social support of this thread helps a lot, so post every day, whether it's a good day or a bad day, if you possibly can.

FleurdeLis— Good luck with dropping your calories a bit. I have a lot of respect for the self-discipline it takes to keep track of your eating that way.

PhoenixAshes— Way to go for backing off on how often you have to take the lorazepam! I sometimes take a benzodiazepine myself, but it sure does make me somnolent and less likely to keep moving. Thanks for the words of support about my kittie pictures. They may look adorable in the photos I post, but when they're rambunctious, they're a lot of work to keep up with. They insist on knocking things down and shredding tissue paper and generally raising a fuss, which is good for me because I have to follow them around and making sure they're not getting into trouble. They do seem to have mastered the rule about not biting electrical cords, but when they get old enough to easily jump up on the kitchen table & counters, I know I'll have new rules to enforce. =smile=

Kathleen— Way to go on all the exercise you're doing! I don't know about you, but I find I have a lot more energy with the low-carb (sugar-free!) lifestyle. I'll tell you about one of my secret weapons: macadamia nuts. They have the lowest carbs of any nut, and I find that just a few of them are really good for staving off the hungries.

fool4fotos— Good for you on bouncing back from the unemployment doldrums! Good luck on those employment possibilities...I love what you wrote about "learn the lesson and move on."

Lisa— How is your hand today?

The lesson I've been learning in a big way recently is that when I go through periods of stress, even positive stress like getting new kittens, I have an aftermath of days of depression. But I track my moods on a 0 through -5 system, where 0 is a good day, and I'm happy to report that I've advanced from going through a few harrowing -3 days to yesterday being just -1. Mornings are my best times, so I try to plan things that take some "oomph" for that time of day.

I sure do miss hearing from Holly. Are you out there, girl? And Worthy, I'd like to hear from you more often. Even when I just read your postings and don't say anything back, please know that your commitment is an inspiration to me!

FionaW I am so glad you explained it, I only just realised non GOT fans might not know the reference! :o She is a very determined girl, she doesn't let anything or anyone stand in her way and she is fearless, if she was battling depression and weight loss she would be unstoppable so I'm hoping to channel my inner Arya to stay on top of things.

FleurdeLis I am a night time snacker too, its my downfall. I eat pretty well during the day but once I sit down for the evening, that's it. I'm working on using gum as a food substitute and drinking lots of tea..so far so good but its easy to be good when you are having a good day.

Fiona Yep, that sounds like cats! My cat used to be pretty bad at chewing cords... she's better at that now, but goes crazy for any kind of crinkly plastic. She'll even dig into the trash to get wrappers and such.

aryastark Hiya! :wave:

Today was pretty a pretty sick day, and I haven't dealt with it extremely well. But I got out for a walk this evening which helped. I'm staying my boyfriend in The Netherlands right now, and we have to take a train into Rotterdam tomorrow to go to a gallery event featuring his late uncle's art followed by some kind of dinner thing. So it's going to be a busy busy day. I'm both looking forward to it and dreading it a little. We went to Amsterdam shortly after I first arrived here and the day ended up being pretty difficult because my body just shut down on me... but tomorrow could be totally different so I'm staying optimistic. :)

Yay! Lots of action here!
 

I love it when I log on and see lots of positive support and encouragement flowing throughout the team!!! :D

aryastark: :welcome: to the group and thank you for posting!!! I remember you from when you posted a little while ago! :) I am happy that you came back! :hug: And I am so happy that Fi explained your user name, because I don't know a thing about "Game of Thrones!" I get it now, and I love the description of what a strong and determined character she is. Yes, let us ALL channel some of her strength, determination, and intensity in our own journeys with weight loss and depression. I am glad to hear that your depression is much better now. I have been at the point where I literally couldn't get out of bed for a period of time due to debilitating depression (after the birth of my special needs 15-yr-old daughter), so I can relate and appreciate where you are coming from. You are so wise to acknowledge that the feeling of being on top of your game doesn't last, so having a good support system in place is needed! That is exactly why we named this team Ups & Downs! :D We want to be here for each other both on those wonderful feeling "UP" days AND on those terrible feeling, blah "DOWN" days. I feel like we have accomplished that in this group so far. It really takes all of us to open up about our experiences (both positive and negative) to make this happen, so I really value and appreciate everyone's input into the group! If I do say so myself, we are a SPECIAL bunch! :grouphug: I think you will fit right in! ;) Best of luck to you in your weight loss journey and with finding a part-time job that works around your kids' school schedule. And, oh, those night-time munchies!!! :devil: I fall victim to them so often, too! :( Let's all work together to beat night-time munching!!! We can do it! :)

PhoenixAshes: Great to hear from you! Happy Birthday Month!!! :D My hubby turns the BIG 5-0 on the 22nd, so this is a very special month for us, also! :) Please remind us of your b-day as it gets closer! LOL on your description of dying without knowing it and being a very high-functioning zombie! :lol: I FEEL like a zombie some days, but not a very "high-functioning" one! :dizzy: I still struggle to get things accomplished every day. Some days are better than others, but nothing ever feels easy to me. I guess it's just the way my brain is wired. :?: Glad to hear that the prozac has helped a lot with your depression and that you are only experiencing anxiety/panic episodes infrequently. I tend to have a constant underlying anxiety, for which I take Buspar daily. I have Klonopin for high anxiety events, but only take it very sparingly anymore. As you said..... "thankfully!" Years of counseling and a cocktail of meds have helped me so much, but I am ready to try to wean off some of my meds (with the guidance of my psychiatrist) if possible, because they have had BIG weight gain as side effects and now they are making it MUCH harder to lose weight (along with a thyroid problem that I recently discovered and for which I am trying to get the proper help). So sorry that you are having a bad day and that your body shut down on you when you first arrived in the Netherlands. :( Happy to hear that you are trying to be optimistic, though, about getting around the other days. I hope your boyfriend is supportive and understanding. Sending a BIG HUG :hug: and my prayers that you will feel better and stronger very soon, so that you can enjoy your time there!!! :hug:

Fi: Please keep posting photos of Oscar and Nenu!!! I really enjoy them! :) (Sorry, but I don't know how to type the little accent mark above the e on Nenu's name.) I hope that you will not feel guilty for long about spending money on your space at the farm. You deserve to ENJOY it thoroughly!!! Thank you for the tip on macadamia nuts. I need all the help I can get for staving off the hungries!!! I have NOT had much energy lately, and I am worried that it is due to my thyroid. Still have not heard from the thyroid specialist, so no appointment set with her at this time. Arrrrgh! I NEED to get my thyroid level up, I just know it (based on my fatigue and extreme difficulty losing weight)! I, too, miss hearing from Holly!!! Not sure what happened..... :?: She is such an asset to this group! I hope she will be back. Also, yes, Worthy is such an inspiration, especially with exercise! I love hearing from her, too!

Sabrina: Congrats on being down to 173! :carrot: Believe me, though, I know how it feels to be STUCK on a number on that scale. SO frustrating!!! :( Hope that dropping 100 calories and eliminating night-time eating will help. I am happy to hear that you will be checking in here more often. I look forward to your input! You are a valued member of our group! :hug: Hope you get to those 160's soon! I am jealous! ;) How is your job going?

Well, so much for the positivity. I'm back down to -3. Depression really sucks. But I made a collage, kind of an angry one.

I am new to this group. I have major depression with psychotic features and schizophrenic tendencies. I take 2 mood stabalizers, anti psychotic, anti depressant, and benzo. I am tired a lot and blame it on the meds. My weight seemed to blossom with each episode and new drug tried. I have had a hard time doing the things I used to. Losing weight is my top priority. I am 300lb and am afraid I am on the road of no return. I want to exercise because it releases those good endorphons! I look forward to talking with you and sharing support.

Welcome!
 

annsokos: :welcome: to the group! :) I am glad that you posted. Sorry about your major depression, along with fatigue and weight gain due to meds. Most, if not all, of us can relate to that here, so you have come to the right place. I wish you all the best in your weight loss journey! We will be here to encourage you and cheer you on toward your goals! :cheer2: My advice on exercise would be to keep it simple and start small. Take a walk around the block. Once that becomes a habit, take a walk around 2 blocks. And then 3. And on and on. If you set your sights too high, you run the risk of getting overwhelmed and then crashing and burning out. Do it for YOURSELF, because YOU ARE WORTH IT!!! :hug:

Fi
 

Fi: So sorry to hear that you have depression pain again. :( Sending you a BIG HUG :hug: and prayers that you feel better SOON! Think HAPPY thoughts, breathe deep, and do your best to relax! :)

Kathleen— I appreciate the prayers & the words of support, but you don't seem to understand severe depression. The deal with really bad depression is that you can't think happy thoughts. Your brain is incapable of doing so. I understand you are trying to be helpful, but please don't say that to me again.

Ann— Welcome to the Ups & Downs thread! Another thread you might consider joining is the 300+ Chat thread. If you go to the 300+ community, you'll find it listed as "300+ September Chat." We are a small and very supportive group, and every one of us really knows what it takes to go on a looooong journey of weight loss.

Fi
 

Fi: I am so sorry if I offended you. Not at all intended. Believe me, I have suffered through severe depression, so I do know what it feels like. Thankfully, for me, the very severe depression was years ago, though. If I try to put myself back in that place, I can remember that I, too, was incapable of "thinking happy thoughts." I did NOT realize that when you have depression pain, you are in that state of severe depression. For me, the severity was constant (and perhaps it is for you, too), but you seem so "with it" a lot of the time that I thought your depression came and went for you, and I didn't know that it was that type of severe depression. Anyway, lesson learned. Don't worry..... I won't say that to you again.

I;m back. I took a break for awhile due to some personal stuff. I lost almost 20 lbs in a month but gained a few back the last week or so. I need to get back to my diet.

Hadn't posted for a couple days. Wanted to update that I've been super busy with my employment workshops, interviewing, and computer training this week. I am still walking ALMOST :D everyday and am back to my original 10 lb loss as of today!!! Need to fit in logging in and posting a bit more regular. I feel really out of the loop with everyone. Thank you to those commenting positives on my journey!

Keep up the good fight everyone one day at a time :goodvibes

fool4fotos— It's nice to see you posting! I'm glad you're busy with employment-oriented things, and way to go on the walking and the 10 lb. weight loss!

Kathleen— We're cool: don't worry about it. I have windows of a few hours of better functioning, even when the greater part of the day I'm in severe depression. I usually post during those windows.

Trish— I'm SO glad to see you back! That's great you lost almost 20 lb in a month, but I hope that wasn't due to depression or anxiety. Keep up with the good work, and please keep posting, now that you're back...

I'm waiting now for Bob to get back from the farm. It will be nice to have someone else around to keep track of the kittens, because they can get pretty rambunctious during their high-activity periods and it's well-nigh impossible for me to always keep an eye on them when I'm in my worse depression (rating -3) periods. 'Been having way too many of those of late.

Hi everyone! Hope everyone has had a great week. Tomorrow is FRIDAY! I've had a good week.

I had a cavity fixed on Tuesday so lost out on my workout. Yesterday I went to cycling class for 30 minutes, was going to swim for another 30 but forgot my towel!:( Talk about a bummer! Today I stayed for the whole cycling class. It usually isn't anything about not being able to finish, just I usually don't like to work out for a long time earlier in the week because it will make me more tired and I miss out on time with my hubby. Today it worked out because he stayed later at work.

I came in good with my calories, a little over my goal of 1500, but I'm not too worried since I had a really great workout!


Ibelieveinme2- My job is going great! I really love it. Going to work and then going home with no need to think about it again until the next day. I love going to work and that is so nice.

Aryastart- I've told my husband to be stern to me and not let me eat anything except for my two mini reese cups. This keeps my sweet tooth in check! Besides that, if I get hungry, I just drink water and it seems to satisfy me.

Fiona- I think I can relate the dumpy feelings after something good has happened. Hope your kitties are doing well!

Emotionally, the past week and a half has been tough. News that should bring joy to me has brought sadness. My sister in law and her husband are expecting another baby. Their youngest is close to 1 year old. For those of you that don't know, my husband and I lost our first child, our daughter Isabelle Francis on 3-21-14. So this news was really hard for me. I'm trying my best to be happy and of course I am praying for the baby to remain healthy, but I'm just so sad... :( I want to try for another baby, but I'm definitely not emotionally ready. There are so many moments ahead that will be difficult, Thanksgiving, Christmas, her first birthday. It would be so much more difficult to go through those days while pregnant. Also, since I've just started my job, I don't have insurance until November 1st, so that's another barrier. Basically I feel stuck with no way to make it better. I've cried this week, which I haven't done much lately. I really want to see a therapist or get some type of counseling to help work through these issues, but since my insurance doesn't start until Nov 1 I'm in limbo of really wanting it, but not really being able to get it...

Well, that's it for me for now.

Thank you so much for the lovely welcome everyone. I am so glad today is Friday, after a summer of lie ins I am now back to the school routine and this week I am really feeling it. I am looking forward to taking it easy for the weekend. Last night wasn't great, I binged, I wasn't feeling bad, just a bit bored so I started playing Candy Crush and ate lots of rubbish. Note to self: do not turn on the computer at night, do something else!!!! But I've gone for a nice walk today so feeling a bit better.

Annsokos welcome, nice to see another newbie. We can do this, we're all in it together!!

Fool2fotos you are doing great, keep up the momentum.

FionaW I am sending hugs and positive vibes your way. I haven't got severe depression so I don't really understand how bad it can be. I find it hard to know what the right thing to say is, I know what comments help me but also am aware they may be totally unhelpful to someone else. I love cats and kittens especially but my husband hates them so we have dogs instead, I love them but they are hard work.

FleurdeLis I am so sorry for the loss of Isabelle Francis, I cannot imagine how hard that must be for a parent to go through. I can totally empathise with your feelings. Of course you are happy for them but its tinged with sadness as its a reminder of your own loss. I'm not too familiar with the way counselling services work in the States as we are very lucky to have a lot of voluntary groups that offer free support for all sorts of things. Is there any support group even online you can use? We're here xx

Trish!!!
 

Trish (lilturtle): It is SO great to hear from you!!! :D CONGRATULATIONS on your 20 pound weight loss!!! :carrot: How did you do it?

I ate next to nothing and I was very active. It wasn't healthy. The last week or so I have been eating a lot of junk. I had trouble doing my grocery order this month too. Nothing appealed to me and I got mostly junk food.

Still at -3 today. I had a few hours free of it in the morning. Bob and I used them to get caught up on the health issues of the kitties, make plans for going to the farm in the fall, and generally get back in synch with each other. Then the depression hit, and I had to stop talking. I'm still in it now. I'm posting because it's boring to be lying on the couch, depressed and nonfunctional, full of dark thoughts and painful feelings. Anyway...

Hi all, and welcome to our new folks! :)

I have been really inactive lately and I'm very sorry about that :( My life has been crazy lately, and I'm sorry I don't really have that much time to respond to everyone's personal posts. Know that I'm thinking about all of you, and I hope your lives and personal health journeys are well :)

Just so you all know why I might be a little hectic and sporadic checking in, I thought I'd give you an update.

I'm currently working between 55 and 65 hours every week, between both of my jobs. This week it was only 55, but 50 of them were at ONE job. I've been needed a lot more at the group home than was originally expected, and I'm going to be in overtime most weeks this month.

Part of the reason for that is because one of our graveyard staff fell and broke her hip :( She's going to be out for weeks, so I'm going to be working 3 graveyard and 2 swing shifts each week to cover her shifts. My first grave was last night, and I'm struggling with sleeping during the day, so I'm EXHAUSTED.

Also, on a more exciting note, I might be moving out of my mom's house soon! I'm meeting with a girl who needs her lease signed over right away so she can move back to Montana. It's super close to my main job, and the rent is barely more than I'm paying at home. Whatever extra I'm spending in rent and utilities, I'll make up for in gas. Moving out there in the next week or so (if it works out) is going to take up all of the free time that I'm not working or sleeping.

The only downside to all of this is that I have no eating schedule that makes a lick of sense, and I have no time for any kind of structured exercise, at least until things calm down a little and I'm getting more than 3 hours of sleep per day.

Didn't make my August 31st goal of 250, but I'm sitting around 251 right now, so I know I can get there soon.

I'm sure there's more, but that's all I can think of for now!

Aryastark- This is my online support. As far as any support group I go to, there is a monthly child loss support group on the second tuesday of every month. I plan on going to it next week. My husband and I went to one shortly after our loss, but since the meetings are so far apart, we didn't keep going. I'm definitely in need of something right now though.

Today was a good day at work. It went quick and wasn't too busy. I went to cycling class after work. I was going to swim, but as usual, I always forget something. If I bring my towel I forget my swimsuit, if I bring my swim suit, I forget my towel! It's never ending! Class was good, I really worked up a sweat.

The instructor said there is a 2 hour class tomorrow morning. I think I'm going to go and see how long I can go. It would be a really great calorie burn and I could take a relaxing swim afterwards. I'm kinda looking forward to it!

My hubby is going to help my parents move tomorrow and I'm staying home to work on homework. We're going home for a visit next weekend so I'm going to try to get as much done as possible because I won't have any time next weekend.

Doing well on calorie counting and have had two crazy good workouts two days in a row this week. Feeling really good!

aryastark thank you for the support. It is extremely important to "distract" ourselves to other habits other than eating to satisfy those stagnant moments. Good luck and keep us posted on how that is going.

Chelainabear I feel your frustration with being too busy being able to keep a good schedule between exercise and eating. I love your positive that you are still within reach to where you left off and will get back soon. Keep the faith!!

In addition to my job searching, my daughter will be back home late next week from the Navy to serve out the rest of her enlistment in STL and I will need to be there to help her and her family get settled. Wondering how that will affect my routine!!! Also my 2nd daughter is getting married in mid Oct and that is coming more into play as the weeks go by......and they are going way to fast!!! Hoping for positive responses to the stress and good outcomes for both daughters for the life changes.

Good morning, everyone. I hope everyone is doing super well and feeling really good. I haven't taken time to go through the thread but I will later.

I'm still struggling to fight off the symptoms of depression. I'm fighting to bounce back after my supervisor was a total jerk toward me the day after my friend and co-worker died. The funeral was beautiful, by the way. I could not believe my supervisor had the nerve to sit beside me at the funeral and attempt to make small talk just 24-hours after being so awful toward me. I know it was a message from God about forgiveness but I'm struggling to be a good person.

To deal with all this, I've been on exercise over-drive so I won't fall back onto sugar bingeing. So far this week I've ridden 48 miles on the bike--yes, that is outside, not an exercise bike--and jogged the equivalent of two 5K. The bonus is that, with TOM also passing, I've dropped 4 pounds this week and maintained my food program.

After my friend's funeral, I engaged in retail therapy at the local Goodwill Store in order to finally replace my wardrobe rather than go on wearing the same old, baggy, outsized clothes. Good fortune was with me and I found some super nice, almost new clothes to wear to work. This week, I started wearing my new-to-me treasures which show off the extent of my weight loss. Oh. Dear.

I should have phased things in, I suppose. The mean old Church Lady didn't say anything for several days, then on Thursday growled, "Well! It appears that SOMEONE has been shopping." I just smiled and said, "Why, yes. I did go shopping and I replaced my entire wardrobe in order to get rid of those baggy old rags I've been wearing." She scowled and said, "You're putting on quite the daily fashion show." I said, "Thank you" and left it at that.

I've got news for her--the fashion show will continue next week, too. For a $130 investment, I carefully selected clothes that I can mix and match into lots of different outfits so she's going to have to go on just being peeved. Church Lady was extremely vocal and critical about my weight when I was 293 pounds. As I'm closing in on a 100 pound weight loss, she can't seem to stop herself from continuing to be snarky about my appearance. It's just the person she is. It has nothing at all to do with me, who I am, or how I behave. When I was morbidly obese, she attempted to put me down in order to elevate herself. Now I've lost weight, she's mad because she's afraid she won't be the center of attention. She's got it all wrong.

I sit very quietly at my desk all day long. My supervisor does not allow me to speak. When I do, she comes out of her office to issue a harsh, "Stop talking!" I am not allowed to use my phone or have meetings in my work space. So, I am like a lump while my co-workers flit around the shared workspace chatting and laughing. Unwittingly, my supervisor has created a situation where I need to make personal visits to assist people with issues requiring technical support. As a result, I've been able to build personal relationships with staff throughout the building but not in my own workspace.

Anyway, life goes on and so do I.

Wishing everyone an absolutely beautiful and successful weekend doing whatever it is you plan to do!

I'm doing a bit better. Last night when I listened to my favorite deejay's rock-n-roll show I felt free from depression and did my leg exercises with enthusiasm. Today I'm back in the doldrums, but it's only a level of -1, and I was able to make a collage just now.

Here is my new collage: please read what's written below it, because it's meant to be an illustration of those lines of poetry. I think about Rilke's "Eighth Elegy" a lot, when I'm looking at animals and trying to imagine what they're thinking.

fool4fotos- Good luck on all the upcoming events! I hope all goes well for you and your daughters!

worththeeffort- Sorry to hear your boss was a jerk. That stinks. I LOVE goodwill! I go pretty often because it's just around the corner from my house. I usually shop for tops and nicnacs. I can't ever find any good pants there though. So glad you were able to find a whole new wardrobe! Don't let anyone 's negative comments get you down girl, your're doing awesome and what you're doing is for you!

Fiona- When I clicked on your link it didn't take me to your collage like it normally does. It was an ad for cell phones and I think was wanting me to sign in. I don't have a flickr account though.. :(

As for me today was a good day. It started off with a headache, but I took some medicine went back to sleep for a few hours and woke up feeling better. I was able to watch the men US open semi finals and do some homework.

For lunch I had a double veggie patty sandwich from Subway and it was soooooo good and low calorie!!! After that I went to wal-mart to try on jeans and guess what?!?!?!?!?! I fit into size 16 jeans!!!!!!!!!!! Granted they are the stretchy kind, but who cares???? I'm finally able to pack away my maternity jeans which were not very fashionable if I must say... I also got a cute shirt and bought a smaller size and better cut of underwear. During my pregnancy I work the very low cut bikini style because they were a much cheaper alternative to maternity underwear.

Hubby was so proud of me when I told him!!! I'm proud too!! I've been stuck at around 174 or 173, but it's so nice to see progress in the realm of pants size and fit. This is so awesome to me! Mainly because I could only wear long shirts with my maternity jeans otherwise the stretchy part would show. Also, the stretchy material didn't do very well in hiding the flab I do have. Regular jeans definitely masks this!

Swam today for my workout and nailed my calories at probably around 12 or 1300 for the day. I typically eat more but was satisfied with what I had. I drank a lot of water which I think is what helped keep me full.

Off to bed for now, got to get up early for mass tomorrow! Have a wonderful night or day, wherever you are!!

Fleur— I'm so sorry that link took you to an advertisement—how truly strange! Did you check your other tabs to see if the Flickr link was in one of them? You don't have to have a Flickr account to see a Flickr image, but in any case, here's a link to the collage blog I'm on. My collage is the second one down: it's titled "animals see, people see." But be sure to check your other tabs...

Bummer!
 

Hello Everyone! I just came home from the Ohio State -vs- Virginia Tech game. I am a lifelong HUGE Buckeye fan............. and they beat us in our home opener tonight. :( It was an agonizing game to watch. Ohio State looked worse tonight than any other OSU team I have ever seen ..... and I've seen A LOT of Buckeye games! :( Oh well, life goes on!

I have gone off plan parts of the past few days, so I need to buckle back down first thing in the morning. I will get some exercise in tomorrow, too. Hoping to get together with a good friend who is in town with her kids. I FINALLY got an appointment with the endocrinologist, but not until November 19th. She wants to see me herself (instead of a Physician's Assistant). Hopefully, I can get in sooner since I am on their cancellation list, but I am just happy to finally have an appointment set with her.

No energy for personals tonight, but I wanted to check in. Will attempt to write personals tomorrow sometime. Hope everyone is doing well! :wave:

Thanks FleurDeLis. I think I've been celebrating early this weekend with all the upcoming events and having a great Friday!! Stayed on track with the eating and exercise, but had a few too many beers the last two nights, which added a bit of weight :( Getting back on track today!!

Fiona-- Thanks for mentioning the extra tab thing. I think that was my problem or I just wasn't paying attention. Nevertheless, the collage was very neat!

Ibelieveinme2- Sorry to hear about your buckeye's. My husband is going through the same bummed feeling, except with his Dallas Cowboys. They've played a terrible game so far and I doubt they'll pull out a win. He's used to them losing though, he's a dedicated fan that is for sure. I'm a colts fan, so I've still got a few hours before our opening game starts. Also, I hope and will pray that you can get into your appointment earlier, but glad to see you at least have something scheduled.

fool4fotos- I know what you mean. We went to lunch today and I ate ok. A 6oz steak, a potato, and some broccoli. They had coke zero so I was happy about that. Then we had a small blizzard each from DQ. Those have way more calories in them then I thought! I'm regretting that a little bit, but oh well, move on! We shall start fresh tomorrow!

It's been a pleasant weekend for me. I weighed in at 171.5 this morning. Not sure if that will stick given today, but nice to say that number anyways. Back to my usual routine tomorrow. Low cal diet and hardcore cycle class after work. I think the class has really helped break me through my plateau.

I got a lot of homework done and am still working on more. Trying my best to get as far ahead as possible since we will be out of town next weekend visiting parents. I never get anything done even when I try to do homework on visits.

Hope everyone has a great rest of their weekend and a good Monday!

Fleur: Congratulations on the size 16 jeans. :carrot: I am so looking forward to that day for me! I'm glad your husband is supportive of your hard work.

Fiona: Hope you're bouncing back from the depression and pain. At least you have your little kittens to cuddle and coo over.

I reached another fitness goal today. I did a 20-mile bike ride. I'm exhausted now and my knees ache but I did it. I plan to crawl into bed really early tonight.

We have at least 10 family members coming to our house on Sept. 20 for a small reunion. I'm already writing off my eating program for that day. Since it is my house and I am planning the buffet, I'm planning a sandwich bar and no pasteries or sugar. I'm looking for sugar free treats and fruit for folks to enjoy. Since company is coming, after work this week, my workouts will consist of housework. I need to clean all the woodwork, dust, vacuum...basically the big fall clean up. I want to get ahead on it so I can have next weekend for my bike rides.

I don't know what to do. I bought my groceries last week when I was in a screw the diet mood. Now I am stuck with junk food. I might be able to go back to the grocery store next week. Why do I get in these moods?