Depression and Weight Issues Have you been diagnosed with depression, are possibly on depression medication, and find it affects your weight loss efforts? Post here for support!

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Old 09-05-2014, 11:10 PM   #31  
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aryastark thank you for the support. It is extremely important to "distract" ourselves to other habits other than eating to satisfy those stagnant moments. Good luck and keep us posted on how that is going.

Chelainabear I feel your frustration with being too busy being able to keep a good schedule between exercise and eating. I love your positive that you are still within reach to where you left off and will get back soon. Keep the faith!!

In addition to my job searching, my daughter will be back home late next week from the Navy to serve out the rest of her enlistment in STL and I will need to be there to help her and her family get settled. Wondering how that will affect my routine!!! Also my 2nd daughter is getting married in mid Oct and that is coming more into play as the weeks go by......and they are going way to fast!!! Hoping for positive responses to the stress and good outcomes for both daughters for the life changes.
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Old 09-06-2014, 08:44 AM   #32  
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Good morning, everyone. I hope everyone is doing super well and feeling really good. I haven't taken time to go through the thread but I will later.

I'm still struggling to fight off the symptoms of depression. I'm fighting to bounce back after my supervisor was a total jerk toward me the day after my friend and co-worker died. The funeral was beautiful, by the way. I could not believe my supervisor had the nerve to sit beside me at the funeral and attempt to make small talk just 24-hours after being so awful toward me. I know it was a message from God about forgiveness but I'm struggling to be a good person.

To deal with all this, I've been on exercise over-drive so I won't fall back onto sugar bingeing. So far this week I've ridden 48 miles on the bike--yes, that is outside, not an exercise bike--and jogged the equivalent of two 5K. The bonus is that, with TOM also passing, I've dropped 4 pounds this week and maintained my food program.

After my friend's funeral, I engaged in retail therapy at the local Goodwill Store in order to finally replace my wardrobe rather than go on wearing the same old, baggy, outsized clothes. Good fortune was with me and I found some super nice, almost new clothes to wear to work. This week, I started wearing my new-to-me treasures which show off the extent of my weight loss. Oh. Dear.

I should have phased things in, I suppose. The mean old Church Lady didn't say anything for several days, then on Thursday growled, "Well! It appears that SOMEONE has been shopping." I just smiled and said, "Why, yes. I did go shopping and I replaced my entire wardrobe in order to get rid of those baggy old rags I've been wearing." She scowled and said, "You're putting on quite the daily fashion show." I said, "Thank you" and left it at that.

I've got news for her--the fashion show will continue next week, too. For a $130 investment, I carefully selected clothes that I can mix and match into lots of different outfits so she's going to have to go on just being peeved. Church Lady was extremely vocal and critical about my weight when I was 293 pounds. As I'm closing in on a 100 pound weight loss, she can't seem to stop herself from continuing to be snarky about my appearance. It's just the person she is. It has nothing at all to do with me, who I am, or how I behave. When I was morbidly obese, she attempted to put me down in order to elevate herself. Now I've lost weight, she's mad because she's afraid she won't be the center of attention. She's got it all wrong.

I sit very quietly at my desk all day long. My supervisor does not allow me to speak. When I do, she comes out of her office to issue a harsh, "Stop talking!" I am not allowed to use my phone or have meetings in my work space. So, I am like a lump while my co-workers flit around the shared workspace chatting and laughing. Unwittingly, my supervisor has created a situation where I need to make personal visits to assist people with issues requiring technical support. As a result, I've been able to build personal relationships with staff throughout the building but not in my own workspace.

Anyway, life goes on and so do I.

Wishing everyone an absolutely beautiful and successful weekend doing whatever it is you plan to do!
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Old 09-06-2014, 05:10 PM   #33  
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I'm doing a bit better. Last night when I listened to my favorite deejay's rock-n-roll show I felt free from depression and did my leg exercises with enthusiasm. Today I'm back in the doldrums, but it's only a level of -1, and I was able to make a collage just now.

Here is my new collage: please read what's written below it, because it's meant to be an illustration of those lines of poetry. I think about Rilke's "Eighth Elegy" a lot, when I'm looking at animals and trying to imagine what they're thinking.

Last edited by Fiona W; 09-06-2014 at 11:05 PM.
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Old 09-06-2014, 10:48 PM   #34  
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fool4fotos- Good luck on all the upcoming events! I hope all goes well for you and your daughters!

worththeeffort- Sorry to hear your boss was a jerk. That stinks. I LOVE goodwill! I go pretty often because it's just around the corner from my house. I usually shop for tops and nicnacs. I can't ever find any good pants there though. So glad you were able to find a whole new wardrobe! Don't let anyone 's negative comments get you down girl, your're doing awesome and what you're doing is for you!

Fiona- When I clicked on your link it didn't take me to your collage like it normally does. It was an ad for cell phones and I think was wanting me to sign in. I don't have a flickr account though..

As for me today was a good day. It started off with a headache, but I took some medicine went back to sleep for a few hours and woke up feeling better. I was able to watch the men US open semi finals and do some homework.

For lunch I had a double veggie patty sandwich from Subway and it was soooooo good and low calorie!!! After that I went to wal-mart to try on jeans and guess what?!?!?!?!?! I fit into size 16 jeans!!!!!!!!!!! Granted they are the stretchy kind, but who cares???? I'm finally able to pack away my maternity jeans which were not very fashionable if I must say... I also got a cute shirt and bought a smaller size and better cut of underwear. During my pregnancy I work the very low cut bikini style because they were a much cheaper alternative to maternity underwear.

Hubby was so proud of me when I told him!!! I'm proud too!! I've been stuck at around 174 or 173, but it's so nice to see progress in the realm of pants size and fit. This is so awesome to me! Mainly because I could only wear long shirts with my maternity jeans otherwise the stretchy part would show. Also, the stretchy material didn't do very well in hiding the flab I do have. Regular jeans definitely masks this!

Swam today for my workout and nailed my calories at probably around 12 or 1300 for the day. I typically eat more but was satisfied with what I had. I drank a lot of water which I think is what helped keep me full.

Off to bed for now, got to get up early for mass tomorrow! Have a wonderful night or day, wherever you are!!
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Old 09-06-2014, 11:05 PM   #35  
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Fleur— I'm so sorry that link took you to an advertisement—how truly strange! Did you check your other tabs to see if the Flickr link was in one of them? You don't have to have a Flickr account to see a Flickr image, but in any case, here's a link to the collage blog I'm on. My collage is the second one down: it's titled "animals see, people see." But be sure to check your other tabs...

Last edited by Fiona W; 09-07-2014 at 09:32 AM.
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Old 09-07-2014, 01:32 AM   #36  
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Unhappy Bummer!

Hello Everyone! I just came home from the Ohio State -vs- Virginia Tech game. I am a lifelong HUGE Buckeye fan............. and they beat us in our home opener tonight. It was an agonizing game to watch. Ohio State looked worse tonight than any other OSU team I have ever seen ..... and I've seen A LOT of Buckeye games! Oh well, life goes on!

I have gone off plan parts of the past few days, so I need to buckle back down first thing in the morning. I will get some exercise in tomorrow, too. Hoping to get together with a good friend who is in town with her kids. I FINALLY got an appointment with the endocrinologist, but not until November 19th. She wants to see me herself (instead of a Physician's Assistant). Hopefully, I can get in sooner since I am on their cancellation list, but I am just happy to finally have an appointment set with her.

No energy for personals tonight, but I wanted to check in. Will attempt to write personals tomorrow sometime. Hope everyone is doing well!
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Old 09-07-2014, 02:43 PM   #37  
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Thanks FleurDeLis. I think I've been celebrating early this weekend with all the upcoming events and having a great Friday!! Stayed on track with the eating and exercise, but had a few too many beers the last two nights, which added a bit of weight Getting back on track today!!
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Old 09-07-2014, 06:43 PM   #38  
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Fiona-- Thanks for mentioning the extra tab thing. I think that was my problem or I just wasn't paying attention. Nevertheless, the collage was very neat!

Ibelieveinme2- Sorry to hear about your buckeye's. My husband is going through the same bummed feeling, except with his Dallas Cowboys. They've played a terrible game so far and I doubt they'll pull out a win. He's used to them losing though, he's a dedicated fan that is for sure. I'm a colts fan, so I've still got a few hours before our opening game starts. Also, I hope and will pray that you can get into your appointment earlier, but glad to see you at least have something scheduled.

fool4fotos- I know what you mean. We went to lunch today and I ate ok. A 6oz steak, a potato, and some broccoli. They had coke zero so I was happy about that. Then we had a small blizzard each from DQ. Those have way more calories in them then I thought! I'm regretting that a little bit, but oh well, move on! We shall start fresh tomorrow!

It's been a pleasant weekend for me. I weighed in at 171.5 this morning. Not sure if that will stick given today, but nice to say that number anyways. Back to my usual routine tomorrow. Low cal diet and hardcore cycle class after work. I think the class has really helped break me through my plateau.

I got a lot of homework done and am still working on more. Trying my best to get as far ahead as possible since we will be out of town next weekend visiting parents. I never get anything done even when I try to do homework on visits.

Hope everyone has a great rest of their weekend and a good Monday!
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Old 09-07-2014, 06:48 PM   #39  
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Fleur: Congratulations on the size 16 jeans. I am so looking forward to that day for me! I'm glad your husband is supportive of your hard work.

Fiona: Hope you're bouncing back from the depression and pain. At least you have your little kittens to cuddle and coo over.

I reached another fitness goal today. I did a 20-mile bike ride. I'm exhausted now and my knees ache but I did it. I plan to crawl into bed really early tonight.

We have at least 10 family members coming to our house on Sept. 20 for a small reunion. I'm already writing off my eating program for that day. Since it is my house and I am planning the buffet, I'm planning a sandwich bar and no pasteries or sugar. I'm looking for sugar free treats and fruit for folks to enjoy. Since company is coming, after work this week, my workouts will consist of housework. I need to clean all the woodwork, dust, vacuum...basically the big fall clean up. I want to get ahead on it so I can have next weekend for my bike rides.
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Old 09-08-2014, 12:26 PM   #40  
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I don't know what to do. I bought my groceries last week when I was in a screw the diet mood. Now I am stuck with junk food. I might be able to go back to the grocery store next week. Why do I get in these moods?
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Old 09-08-2014, 05:44 PM   #41  
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I'm doing very well, just a touch now and then of -1 level of depression, but on the whole, I'm back to normal. I guess those days of depression were just something I needed to go through, my brain's rather painful way of enforcing a rest period.

I've been busy reading, writing letters, putting ideas together for my studio at the farm, and dreaming of the pictures I want to make—big, complex pictures, with paint as well as collage. I always have to fantasize, visualize things before I pick up a single piece of paper, and I enjoy that drifting state when my eyes are closed. I especially enjoy it when a kitten or two is sleeping next to me.

The only bummer these days is that our house is basically quarantined for at least a month, because of the ringworm. I can't see Grace; we can't have Margaret and Gavin over; we can't introduce the kittens to anyone. Not until they've been on oral medications for a month, plus have had a few antifungal baths, plus have had, at the end of that month, a negative culture for the fungus. And so far it's only been a little over a week, so we have a long time to wait.
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Old 09-08-2014, 07:43 PM   #42  
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worththeeffort- Thanks- It is so encouraging when you hit a milestone like that, makes you keep working harder! Congrats on the 20 mile ride! I know what you mean by the knees aching. After my first cycling class going that far distance wise I was shot. I'm cycling regularly now at the gym. The classes are so good for me, mindless workouts really, I don't have to think, just do!

lilturtle- sorry to hear about your grocery issue. It's happened to me before. If you can't really afford to replace everything, just buy a few healthy things. A little is better than nothing.

Fiona- Sorry to hear about the kitty issues.

Not a bad Monday for me. Had a really good workout at the gym in spinning class. Good dinner, sitting at 1124 calories right now for the day. I'll have my fun size candy bar later tonight (Mounds, yum!)

Time for shower and then homework!
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Old 09-08-2014, 09:27 PM   #43  
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Smile Hello!

Worthy: I am so sorry about the death of your friend and co-worker. That is so sad. Your supervisor sounds like a miserable person; the type that wants to make everyone around her miserable, too. Why are you not allowed to speak or talk on the phone and your co-workers are? I don't get it! It sure sounds unfair from the way you described it. At least you are developing personal relationships with people throughout the building, though. It sounds like you are making the best of a lousy situation.

You are doing so well with your LONG bike rides! You are rockin' the miles! Good for you! Way to go on the 4 pound weight loss!!! Retail therapy is so much fun, but can be expensive. Glad you picked up some great deals and a whole new wardrobe at Goodwill. Sorry the church lady is crabby, too. Who is she?

Sabrina (FleurDeLis): Congrats on 171.5 and size 16 jeans!!! Your hard work is paying off and SOON you will be in the 160's!!! That is awesome! You seem to be doing really well with low calories and exercise. Glad it is working for you!

Trish (lilturtle): That's too bad that you are stuck with junk food. Could you just purchase a few healthy items for now, as Sabrina mentioned? Hang in there and please keep posting!

Fi: I am happy to hear that you are doing well and back to normal, for the most part. What a relief that must be! I must have missed reading that your kittens have ringworm. Sorry about that and the forced quarantine! I hope the little cuties get better soon!

fool4fotos: Hope you thoroughly enjoy your reunion with your Navy daughter this week! How wonderful! That is nice that you will be helping them get settled as they move to STL. Exciting that your other daughter is getting married in mid-October. That is right around the corner! I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers as you prepare for both big events in your daughters' lives. All will be well.

I walked on the treadmill for 15 minutes and rode the recumbent cycle for 15 minutes earlier tonight while my daughter worked out with our trainer. I was really struggling with aching shins as I walked on the treadmill, so I switched over to the bike. I have been more lethargic than usual lately and I am hoping that it is just due to the hypothyroidism. It stinks to feel like I battle fatigue every moment of every day of my life. But that is often my reality. I feel so UNproductive lately, and I really need to get my house in order. No excuses now that the kids are back in school during the day!
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Old 09-09-2014, 01:17 PM   #44  
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Well, so much for being back to normal. Later last night I crashed quite dramatically, into -4 level of pain. That's bad enough it makes me cry out, and the poor kittens were disturbed. I got Bob to keep them with him while I was waiting—it takes forever!—for the Geodon to hit and for me to get some relief. And then the Geodon wore off, about two in the morning, and I woke up suddenly into -5 level of pain! It was so awful, it was unreal. The only thing that gave me a little bit of relief was Bob rubbing my feet. Once again the Geodon took a good 45 minutes to have any effect.

And I have no idea what happened to trigger it, if anything. I did have an exasperating trip to the post office in the afternoon, with long slow trains holding me up both directions, plus a broken water main on the main drag at the exact point where I turn on a tiny side street to get to the P.O., tying up traffic in all directions. What usually takes ten minutes to accomplish took an hour and a half. But I didn't really think it was stressing me out, because I was listening to great rock-n-roll on satellite radio.

These days I'm as fragile as tissue paper, so who can say...
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Old 09-09-2014, 06:01 PM   #45  
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I hope to go to the grocery store next week. I have to do better. I have not gained but I'm not losing either.

Tomorrow I am going to do a post with ersonals. I am reading you all and cheering you on.
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