hi everyone

i'm stressing because i'm not sure if the present i bought will be one he likes, after that phone call. but we've spoken since and he apologised for losing his cool. (sigh) so all's well.

my other son said, nah, that's fine (about the present).

why am i still stressing?

i have a history of stressful xmases and disliked presents (from me) . i always seem to buy the wrong things for everyone else and me, too, in regards to clothes especially, i always look rubbish. but i transgress.

never put yourself down.

ok. i've got another cute saying for you:

friends are flowers in the garden of life.

good one , eh?

anyway, i'm ok. i am having a cup of tea now, it's early morning, about 9:20 .

DH has gone to do some work.

i've got swaps to organise (international).

and the post office to send the boys' stuff. (presents) i have to wrap them first. dishes. fold the washing, put it away, dreadmill exercise. that's my day. oh, hose the verandah. that's my day.

interesting to hear about the carbohydrates and exercise. bfn

Hello Everyone! I was in bed once, and ~ when I woke back up ~ remembered that I had not checked into the group tonight, so I wanted to stop by for a quick hello! Unfortunately, I just ate a box of pizza rolls prior to this post, so I would have been better off staying in bed! Oh well, tomorrow is a new day, right?!? I started the day off working out with my trainer. I forgot to take my pm meds last night, so had to take them this morning, which always makes me a bit tired during the day. Not sure if that is why I felt the urge to eat more than usual today, but I'll go with that. Hope the urge is gone tomorrow because I just couldn't get satisfied food-wise today. I know that usually means it is emotional eating, so I will go to sleep pondering what was on my mind today that had me craving food all day long.

How is everyone doing with the holidays? Many people tend to get depressed around this time, so I was just wondering how you all are coping. I have an appointment with my psychologist tomorrow. Not sure what I will discuss yet, but it will most likely have to do with my struggles with weight loss. I just wish I could pinpoint exactly what is holding me back.

On that note, I shall return to my slumber..... Hope everyone is doing well and staying strong!!! WE CAN DO THIS!!!

hello! first, to Gwen! i'm tickled that you 'know' me a little from my previous posts here. I hope you find this place as friendly and warm as I do, thanks to all who post here.

Gwen, that is horrible about the event that kinda tore apart your life! You are a survivor...you are strong in that respect. I'm glad you have a safe place with your mother, and your dog congrats on losing alot already! and glad you're here

Fi, I find it so admirable that you are able to observe 'cause and effect' of food on your system, and your mood, that must be very helpful! (btw, isn't it sucky when our partner takes our head off when we know it is not deserved!) I'm glad it did not trigger a huge reaction. Oh and I'm 53 and in the middle of menopause and for me, the worst are the hot flashes (I'm cold! I'm hot! lol) and that it does seem to be so much harder to lose weight.

Chelsea, I hope your anxiety is better, did you try that other supplement? and you asked about buprioron (spelling?) that is Wellbutrin, correct? I take that, the 300 time release. Been on it for about 4 years I guess and I would be afraid to be off it. I have never even been officially diagnosed; I went to my family doctor about 7 years ago, broke down telling him how desperate i felt in my life, and he wrote me a prescription for Lexapro. Took that for a a couple years but gained about 15 pounds, because I just ddn't care, and still had bad / suicidal thoughts. Went to same family doctor and he suggested Wellbutrin and that has been good for me!

Lilturtle HI and hope you are doing well, with your eating plan . I'm very sorry about your holiday depression; and your anxiety about your upcoming trip. 11 days is a long time to be in someone else's place! Trying to focus on the positives in one's life is good advice from your friend, I try to do that all the time.

Becca, my goals are to be FIT, to me that means no noticeble excess around my waist, trimmer overall, with strong muscles and bones and flexible. Wow I am ambitious

saraphin, i was Sooo sad to read of that phone conversation!! You are TOO SWEET to be treated and spoken to in that way, your son was in the wrong but the alcoholism makes people so mean sometimes I'm so glad he apologized. and the Friends are the Flowers in teh Garden of Life is beautiful

Hello Kathleen It's only been recently that I have stopped 'hating Christmas' (that is awful isnt it!) It was due to untreated depression; and working retail bakery long hours, and I just did not have time to decorate, and had a horrible cluttered ugly home that I did not want to decorate; guilt over feeling that I did not have a nice home for the boys to enjoy Christmas, resentment towards everyone, all that bad stuff. Thank goodness I am better now!!

I hope I haven't forgotten anyone HI to everyone!! how's that

If I think of them, I will post later, about some of the crazy people I encounter in my winter job, lol. From Nov. to April, I work in a small convenience store/deli in a tourist town (Stowe - Ski Capital of the East! lol) and the things people say...so funny (and frustrating at times)

today is my Saturday (I have Wed. and Thursdays off) and I have to do laundry and some house cleaning first; then my big job is to pack and deliver cookies to area peeps; I've got hundreds of cookies in the freezer and I will give them to people like the ladies at the bank; hairdresser; car mechanic (HEY they remember things like this when you need an emergency car repair!)

I am proud, that a couple days ago, when my DH had a strange meltdown and lashed out at me ( I KNOW it is because he is stressed from work) that I did not take it personally; I was very calm and said that i could tell he was angry but I knew I did nothign to deserve it, and would not get upset, and he needed to apologize.

Well he didnt apologize, but after an hour or so, he 'came around' and was acting normal again. I asked, 'do we have an underlying problem, that this small argument escalated so badly?' and he said that when I disagree with him, he feels that means I think he's stupid What?! Well I am glad he was able to at least communicate those feelings. He never would have in the past, and I would have immediately thought 'what did I do wrong' and would have cried and felt responsible. Geez...married for 34 years and we're still muddling along

WEll I need to workout (btw I post regularly at http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/depr...epression.html and then laundry, then start packing cookies; and i haven't wrapped a single gift yet, lol. Hey i still have a week
take care, lovely chicks!!!

Hello! It is a new day, thank goodness. Yesterday was pretty sad, not sure why, it had a bit of a headache. So I ate badly (I always turn to cinnamon chex, lol. It is full of sugar! I am weird). Hid in bed for most of day.

Fi - I love the "pick your hard" quote. Reminds me of my stepsister who is an athlete/personal trainer/wonder gal who is just so nice! She has little sayings she sends me for encouragement. I am not looking forward to menopause!

Lilturtle - the holidays are hard for me too. I always feel like the black sheep in my family. I overspend to compensate, rather ridiculous considering I need my money for meds and therapy. Try to act from a place of love. Hmm, I'll have to ponder that one, it sort of makes sense but is a bit vague! I need serious instructions, lol! I get way stressed going to my brother's house, must take prn meds just to get there.

Saraphin - I too get depressed and stressed before the holidays. This year I got many things done early in hopes of avoiding stress. I even found Christmas shirts so I could make an effort! Putting them on, hahaha, I look ridiculous! Oh well. Trying not to put myself down, but... Could the weight loss fairy bring me a surprise?

Ibelieveinme2 - I have an appointment next Monday with my psychologist, thank goodness. I go every Monday, it is the only place where I feel better! I slept most of yesterday, grrr. Must try to do something today! Hope your visit went well.

Holly - I felt a bit stalkerish admitting I remembered you! I am glad it is ok. I think it was because I admired your goal not to be at a certain weight, but to be more athletic and comfortable with yourself. I am on Wellbutrin XR 150mg and Cymbalta. The cymbalta is stupidly expensive! I tried to switch to zoloft but that was a 6 month mistake. Hope your workout goes well and the present wrapping isn't too much! I have to get wrapping too.

Hope you all to have a better day. I will try to suck it up and not let depression/anxiety derail me from walking and eating right!

P.S. Happy wishes also to Cdubs and Becca!

Gwen

This holiday is not shaping up to be very good. I'm having relationship/communication problems on top of my normal holiday funk. I just can't seem to do or say the right things, the things I feel in my heart. I think I have cried at least once every day this month. I'm losing motivation with my diet. The good thing is I have at times been too depressed to eat. I am all over the place. This is not a merry month for me. I just want to give up on everything and stay in bed. I can't get an appointment with my doc until well into the New Year either. Outpatient treatment never worked out either as far as therapy. I'm sorry to be so down. I am reading everyone else's shares. I know others are struggling too. I offer you hugs. I sure could use one.

Trish: Sending you BIG HUGS!!! I am so sorry to hear that you are struggling so much right now, but I must say that I've been there. For a 3-5 year period, at the deepest point in my depression, I would stay at home and sleep while my hubby took the kids to his Thanksgiving celebration. I usually managed to make their Christmas celebration..... I think; can't even accurately remember now; I was in a fog. I slept a lot to avoid my life and all of my problems at the time. I avoided my family completely during that time. I was angry about a lot of issues from my past. That has to be frustrating to have communication problems on top of all of that. It sounds like your confidence is way low, too, which doesn't help matters. All I can say is that this too shall pass. One day, you will look back on these days and be at such a better place. I promise!!! If I was able to pull out of it, you can. It took me a long time, but with the help of therapy and meds, I am finally actually looking forward to our holiday celebrations in both families. The only problem is that my hubby's family always has tons of yummy, not-good-for-you food that tempts me so much. I usually indulge, I must admit. This year, I will aim to focus more on the relationships and people there and limit my portions of the bad stuff. I so wish that you could get outpatient therapy somewhere!!! You shouldn't have to go through this alone, which leads me to ask (and only answer if you feel like it): Are you single? Married? I am just wondering what kind of emotional support system you have in place, especially in times of need, like now. Who can you confide in? You can definitely count on us to support you, I hope you know! That is a start. But you really need someone (at least ONE person) in your daily life that you can confide in and be yourself with. I hope you do have that someone already. If not, let's brainstorm together and find someone who you can reach out to and who can be there for you. Are you spiritual at all? (Again, only answer if you feel comfortable.) The reason I ask is that my faith was my only Saving Grace for awhile, along with my children, which were my reason for living. I was seriously in a bad way. For years! Have you tried journaling about your feelings? That is the other thing that saved me back then. I filled journal after journal by pouring out my feelings on paper. Many that I recently found, I bounded with duct tape and finally threw them away. It is time to move on........finally! You will come to that place in your life one day, too. I promise! Please hang in there and stay in survival mode during the holidays if you must. Just get by. That is all you have to do. Put one foot in front of the other..... one day at a time and even one moment at a time. I will keep you in my prayers.

Holly: I can so relate to a horribly cluttered home. Our house is nice, but I have so much clutter in every room that it is overwhelming and depressing all at once. That ~ clutter ~ on my body and in my home and on my mind ~ is my main issue right now. I have even hired a professional organizer to help me, but so far I have been unable to maintain my progress from one session to the next. She comes this Friday and is in for a shock! I am so ashamed of my clutter and it is a huge source of conflict between my hubby and me (and even my 17-y-o son expresses his displeasure now). I don't want my kids to be ashamed to bring people into our house. I want their friends to feel welcome here. How did you conquer your clutter problem? I am so interested to find out! Any help and/or tips you (or anyone else) could give me would be so much appreciated!

Gwen: Here's to a NEW day!!! I hope you feel better today! I am happy to see you continue to post and join in the conversation. I think we have a really special group here, and I am thankful for the contribution of each and every one of you!

Hello to everyone else! I will check in later. Until then, stay strong and take things one moment and one meal at a time!

Trish - I am so sorry you are so down right now many many hugs to you! I love all the suggestions and online support that Kathleen suggested, she is a wonderful chick isn't she. I hope so much that maybe today will be at least a little better for you. Sometimes we feel worst right before we feel a little better.

Gwen - oh yeah, I do remember that I had "fit and trim" as my posted goal, I should go back to that, instead of my unrealistic 135 Oh and what was I thinking about my Wellbutrin, it is 150 mg, not 300. In fact just called yesterday to reorder, I get it from Canada drugs.com and the generic is about $78 for 90 days.

Kathleen - we still have clutter, but I got the living room 'liveable' last year. My motivation was a future visit from our son and his girlfriend for Christmas and I just HAD to have a nicer room for us to visit and open gifts. It was a challenge but I had 3 months to do it!

I had to empty an entertainment center that was crammed with stuff. Old stereros and a cassette deck player (my husband is VERY resistant to getting rid of things) hundreds of VHS tapes, books, crap. I wanted to save the books..so had to clear out unwanted books from the upstairs bookshelves. That in itself was a days-on-end job...i took hundreds of books to the Re-Use center. Truly, like over 500.

Then started emptying the entertainment center. So many trips lugging dozens of boxes outside to the car, then to the Re-Use center 15 miles away. And I had to do all of this on my 2 days off, when my husband was not around. Because I know he would not like seeing stuff that he/we bought, getting rid of. But come on, why save this stuff?! But he helped by dismantling the entertainment center, and by getting paint for the living room. Then I got some second-hand chairs which are OK and husband helped with nice sheers/drapes (he used to do draperies) . SUCH a difference! It has helped with my mental state SO VERY much.

I could only do this, first, because I have no back pain and am relatively strong and fit for my age (except for a sometimes bum knee) and that the Re-Use center takes almost anything, for almost free. And that DH was acceptable, and not totally resistant. His idea of cleaning up, is getting a storage box, and putting it all in that. I .. am .. NOT.. good with that! That is just delaying. I had to clean out my Dad's condo after his death and I don't want our sons to have to go through that.

I'm still not proud of our place, but not consumed by shame. That's pretty big for me

HI to all others!

today, after a workout, I will try to pretty myself up and I will be delivering some of those hundreds of Christmas cookies to two towns. I got the plates and boxes all ready last night and they are already in my car. Co-workers, the bank ladies, my auto mechanic, my motorcycle mechanic, hairdresser...and the guys at the Re-Use center!

I did go back to bed yesterday at 10 am after working out and slept for 2 hours. Felt very angry at myself for that. I still accomplished lots after that but why do I do that. ? I was not really tired, its' just that bed looks so inviting sometimes .

well I hope you all have a good day!

Thank you both for the words of encouragement. I'm not spiritual persay but I am trying to view this season from a point of love....love for my family, friends and SO. I'm not doing good with my eating. It's 2:30pm and I haven't eaten yet. I ate once yesterday and it was a sub. Sure I was under my calories for the day but that's not healthy either. Ugh....I'm so frustrated with everything. I want to crawl into a hole until after New Year's.

I am the queen of crawling under rocks and into holes. So, lilturtle, nice to see you here with me . You can call me "Yer Majesty". I have also developed loads of clutter, but it isn't mine, it is my mom's. So I live in a house (which is under a rock next to my favorite dark hole) where there are bookshelves on every wall, including the halls, and I have to move craftily to avoid all the tchotchkes and furniture. I can't do a darn thing about it. My room holds everything I own in the world, as my ex ran off with everything I owned!

Anyhoo, more seriously, I am truly sorry you are having a rough time. I realize that is an understatement. Keep writing here! I'll be here to listen. I am not really spiritual either, but I have had luck finding peace in the past through gentle yoga or breathing exercises. I am not currently practicing, but the whole coming from a place of love starts from within. So I will attempt to clear my mind and take a step in that direction as well as you through the holidays.

So, me today.... Well, I'm having an ok day. Took NyQuil for my headache, seems to be only thing that works. I will have to go to the doctor as I suspect it might be a sinus infection. Ate well today, had to go out too see the dentist, pretty boring! Not tired at all, this could be a problem. Hope everyone is hanging in there!

Gwen

Thursday I had a crappy day for physical reasons: thanks to my flu shot, I presume, I didn't get the full-blown flu by any means, but I woke up kind of under the weather and with a truly annoying myalgia (muscle pain) in my right thigh. It was almost as if my right quadriceps muscle got the flu, but none of the rest of me did. It lasted about 8 hours and was the cause of much foul language & irritability, but is all gone now, and I feel back to normal. =grin=

Today (Friday) I have much to do to prepare for Yule, which is tomorrow (Saturday), the Winter Solstice. Bob and I are pagans (specifically, druids), so we don't celebrate Christmas: we celebrate the ancient pre-Christian holiday of Yule in honor of the return of the sun—i.e., the beginning of lengthening days. Starting after sundown on the Winter Solstice, we have a little party with food & drink, and an exchange of gifts. Then, as the evening grows later, we gather around the roaring fire, socialize & tell stories, and so far as it's humanly possible, stay up all night long in what we call "the longest night's vigil." When the sky begins to lighten, we bundle up and go outside to watch the sunrise, cheering and waving and doing whatever else feels right to celebrate the sun's coming into view.

Gwen— It's a little sad to think of you having all your possessions in one room while living in a house crowded with someone else's stuff. Bob and I also live in a house with bookshelves on nearly every wall, but at least they are all filled with books, our own books, a treasured library some 40 years in the making. I hope you get along OK with your mother: even if you do, living with one's mother is always a source of stress. Good luck on a speedy recovery from the headaches & possible sinus infection!

Trish— Something else that might help you get through those 11 stressful days with your family is gratitude. At the end of each day, before you go to bed, sit down and think of three things you are grateful for that day. Most people who do this write down their three things in a journal, but that's not necessary if you don't have a journal you can use. Solid scientific research has shown that a daily practice of thinking about what you're grateful for—which can be anything under the sun that makes you feel good—helps people ward off & recover from depression and cope better with stress.

Holly— I wish you wouldn't give yourself so much grief for listening to your body and sleeping when you need to. You have a stressful job, plus this is always a stressful time of year: sleep is excellent for protecting your brain from developing depression. Good for you, that huge project you undertook last year to get the living room & elsewhere more liveable! I, too, am a generator of clutter like you wouldn't believe. Shall we schedule a special episode of "Hoarders" just for the Ups & Downs Support Group? =laugh= I have motivation to get moving on de-cluttering our house, because sometime in the late spring or summer of next year, Bob and I will be getting a brand-new pair of oriental shorthair kittens. I want the kittens to have furniture to jump up on that isn't burdened with my messes! By the way, I would love to hear some of your stories, Holly, about the funny winter people who come into your store. =smile=

Kathleen— I'm right there with you when you say your clutter is a source of conflict between you and your husband: Bob and I have the very same problem. Some of the mess in our house is Bob's fault, but the burgeoning collection of piles o' books for which we've run out of shelves, piles o' magazines that I need to harvest clippings from for my collage art, art supplies, and various paper stuff like all the mail art I receive, is mine and mine alone. Bob is mostly patient about my very slow progress on picking stuff up, but one time last year he got very angry and ranted at me that "it's like living inside a rotting pumpkin!" That may sound funny in retrospect, but at the time I took it very hard. I'm so sensitive to any kind of criticism about my behavior. Anyway, I am working on the issue and will definitely tell you if I run across any tips that help with decluttering. By the way, i've been meaning to give you a couple of book suggestions on the subject of learning how to eat right. The first is a slender book that is very well-written: On Eating by Susie Orbach. Orbach is a practicing psychotherapist and the author of a wonderful book you may have heard of, Fat is a Feminist Issue. Her approach is very gentle and wise. After you read On Eating, I also recommend How to Have Your Cake and Your Skinny Jeans Too by Josie Spinardi: despite its silly title, this is also a wise manual on how to organize your eating behavior so that you lose weight without dieting. (Sorry the link I gave you is to the Kindle edition: there must be a paperback somewhere, but I couldn't find it.) Both of these books will help you with your problem of overeating until you are uncomfortably full.

Sara— I'm sure your present for your son will be fine. If he acts like he doesn't like it, then that's bad manners on his part, and not your fault! I hope your holidays get less stressful soon.

I'm doin' well in general: on Wednesday I made the second of two collages for this week. It's always a good week when I make at least two collages. I'm slower in my productivity than some of my fellow collage artists, but I try my best to keep a steady pace.

Y'all want to see them? Gee, I thought you'd never ask... =laugh= Here they are: trois absurdi-poissons and three times three equals nine. If you scroll down a bit, there's a little descriptive info under each one.

Happy Yule and Happy Winter Solstice to everyone! =warm smile=

I got a call from my brother this morning. Turns out I'm only spending Tuesday through Thursday there. I cried and cried. I'm going to be alone for New Year's and now it feels like they don't want me either. I just want to fast forward to Jan 2nd. I wrapped the rest of my gifts. I ate a half of a granola bar today (it's about 3pm). I just want to stop eating altogether.

Gwendolyn213 I'm trying not to avoid things but I am getting overwhelmed and overemotional. I need a break from feeling for awhile. My thinking is so selfish. I am feeling sorry for myself. Oh, poor me. Many people have it worse then I do.

Fiona I did make a gratitude list a couple days ago. I also made a list of the ways my life is better then a year ago. I am going to try and refer to them.

I need to get myself out of this hole. I just don't know how. I feel useless.

Sorry I don't think I ever posted yesterday. I did read the posts and feel particularly at a loss of words for you, Trish. I hate that you are suffering and so lonely right now and feeling useless. Is there ANYONE in your life who you could reach out to? A family member? A friend? Maybe it will actually be better to only be at your brother's Tuesday through Thursday. Weren't you worried about being there for 11 days with your mom? At least this will avoid THAT happening. Is it triggering you that you will be spending time with your family at all, even if you want to? The reason I ask is that I often get a lot of anxiety before a family event, even though I am looking forward to it. I just kind of never know what to expect, other than dysfunction. And I often leave depressed that things didn't go as I had hoped. I guess I am always hoping we will go deeper in our relationships, but things usually only go so deep with my parents. I worry that I will regret that when they are gone, but my therapist has helped me to see that it might not be my fault. They might not be capable of going deeper. They really don't have a deep relationship with ANY of us 7 siblings. Sad, actually, but true/real. They see things as they want them to be and often deny reality. Very dysfunctional and difficult to be around. How have your visits with your family members gone? Is it fun or stressful or both? Maybe talking/writing about it would help you sort it out. I am not sure how to help you other than telling you that we here at Ups & Downs support you 100% and want you to be happy. If you crawled in a hole until January 2nd, we would care and we would miss you! So please stay out of that hole if at all possible!!! Sending you more BIG HUGS!!! Please hang in there and keep posting! Have you journaled recently? That has always helped me when I feel crappy and in a "funk."

Fi: Yes, our clutter problems sound very similar. My hubby is usually very patient and tolerant (on the surface) of my clutter, but then he will get so sick and tired of it and snap at me. It hurts my feelings so much, too, because I also hate the clutter, but can't seem to conquer it. I have been working on this issue for a lot of years now. But, let's both remember that our past does not have to determine our future. We CAN both get more organized in the days ahead...... and we WILL!!! We can do it!!! Thank you for the new book recommendations. I am sooooooooooo tempted, but I am determined to get through some of my current books before I order any more! I am STILL reading The Emotional Diet. I got slowed way down, a bit uninterested, and side-tracked by the Emotional Freedom Techniques section, and I have just been so darn busy and on the go ~ even more than my usual busyness ~ that I have been at a standstill with the book! But I really like all else so far in the book, so I want to finish it. And next will be If I Am So Smart, Why Can't I Lose Weight? I go in spurts with reading my books and I am easily distracted and read things over and over again, so it sometimes takes me forever to finish one book. You, on the other hand, seem to fly through them!

Gwen: That is so sad that your ex ran off with everything you owned! That must have been such a traumatic experience for you...... after another already traumatic event. You are definitely a survivor!!! Glad that you at least have one room with YOUR stuff in it. I hope you have made it a peaceful haven for yourself, in the midst of your mother's cluttered home. It makes me sad that you are living with your mother's clutter. That is probably how my husband and son feel. They are surrounded by clutter that isn't even theirs. I am so ashamed!!! Sometimes, my hubby will threaten to get rid of stuff (when he has had it with the clutter), which causes me tremendous anxiety. He knows that, though, and usually will back off after awhile. I actually want the clutter gone now (which is huge progress for me), but can't seem to keep it under control. I keep bringing more into our house and the kids school papers are endless; and then there is the mail and papers I need to act on at some point in time! It all just piles up on my kitchen counters. Anyway, I am just sorry that you have to live with your mom's clutter.

Holly: Good for you for getting control of at least one area of your house! I love hearing about the process of how you prepared for your son and his girlfriend's visit and cleared things out. My hubby is the pitcher of things and papers in our family and I am the keeper of them. I do think he pitches some stuff when I am out of the house, which I am actually okay with now, as long as it is stuff I don't miss. He has cleared some spaces in our house a number of times, including my "office," but I have recluttered the rooms. As I mentioned, though, I am working with a professional organizer now, so hopefully I will be able to make ~ and maintain (key for me) ~ some progress! Ahhhh, to not be consumed by shame............ that is a goal for me, too ~ regarding both home and body clutter!!! I will get there when the time is right!

saraphin: Haven't heard from you in a few days. Hope you are well. I love the little sayings you share with us! Glad to hear that at least your son apologized for losing his cool on the phone with you the other day. I'm sure your gift for him will be just fine.

Becca: You still around?!? Please post if you are reading along. We care and want to know how you are doing!

Hope everyone is staying calm and allowing yourselves to ENJOY this holiday season! I have to constantly refocus myself and remind myself to take some deep breaths and just LIVE, along with all of the madness of the season. Some days are better than others!

I had a bunch of holiday errands to run today, and I was a little apprehensive about venturing out into the Friday holiday scene. All turned out well, though: people were helpful and upbeat everywhere I went. They were even having a wine tasting at the Co-op, so while I waited for Bob's scrip to be filled at the pharmacy, I got to drink a couple glasses of Pinot Grigio, my favorite white.

My monthly weigh-in is usually on the 22nd, but I'm going to do it tomorrow, a day early, because I'm going to allow myself a bar of dark chocolate at our Yule celebration. I realized today that I don't even care about how much weight I've lost this past month, or if I've lost any at all, because I've just about wrapped up my mini-goal of 30 days of no emotional, compulsive, or binge-type eating. I can't believe how utterly changed I feel, to have that horrible monkey off my back. Cookies & candy & donuts & their ilk are no longer ordering me around and making me miserable. =whew= I have so much to be grateful for!

My best wishes to all of you for a lovely weekend filled with peace, comfort, and joy...

That's great Fiona! The mini goals seem to be so important. I don't have any at the moment so maybe I need to develop some.

Fiona,

I see that you have ONE DAY left to meet your mini goal of no binge/emotional eating!!!!! That is AWESOME!!! You go girl!!! YOU CAN DO IT!!! YAY FI!!! We are all cheering for you!!! Pinot Gritio is my favorite wine of all at the moment. I don't drink red wine at all. Just don't like it much. What a treat to have some wine in the midst of your errands! What will your next mini goal be? Mine is secretly losing just 5 pounds. It has been so darn LONG since my scale budged DOWN that I will be happy to just lose 5 solid pounds at some point. I am trying a new supplement soon that my former trainer recommended and I am hoping it can give me some kind of jumpstart on losing weight. It has helped many of his clients to lose weight, especially when their weight loss has been stalled (like mine), so I am trying to stay positive that it can help me, too. It is scheduled to arrive this coming Wednesday-Friday. It is the ONLY supplement he has used and recommended in his entire life, so I have some hope that it might help. It is all natural so he said it can't hurt, so I might as well try it. I need SOMETHING that will get my weight loss going again. It has literally been about 2 and 1/2 years since I've lost ANY weight. I am sooooooo ready to be a LOSER again!!!

Well, I have a ton of laundry and gift wrapping to do, so I must get started. We are going to a 60th birthday party tonight for a great friend, but I will check back in afterward if at all possible. Hope you are all hanging in there and thinking POSITIVE!!! Hugs to all!!!