[chunkypanda]

I find from my issues in my past & negative comments or dirty looks Send me on a war path with Myself even for the more people point out that I am "fat" the more I want to Eat and Say F*** you ...I found I do this A lot Especially after having a good week or so of Diet and workout & then I will get a Sly comment off someone and then it Just leads me Too this real deep anger that will just make me Eat more and more ...

at one point i could eat 16 inc pizza Without even Feeling full
I could have 8 rounds of bread with a "big meal " and carry on wanting pudding
When people tell me I can't I will make sure Ill go out my way and do it for that Reason ...I wish someone would tell me i bet you can't loose 6 stone in a year ...and id prove them Wrong ..dose anyone eles have this problem Ill crack a joke if someone sit there and says my god your Eating again and I will go Of the is one mouthful of 10 cals and thats know 20 ...blah blah but really it just hurts me that people will point it out but will not ever help me And Stop bringing in the junk Food ...

[rachel20]

I do this also. If I feel I fail with my diet plan, even a little, I will binge eat to harm myself. Often eating things I am allergic to. MASSIVE painful intense binges. THey're slowly improving, but still a hard thing to deal with in my life. It often feels uncontrollable...
You are not alone.

[astrophe]

Depression is anger turned inward. What's all this anger about really? And why internalize external comments? You know you don't HAVE to pick up other people's baggage right? And carry it around for them?

Eating your way through anger isn't a good coping mechanism.

Are you a person who bases their self esteem on external factors rather than internal authority? What people say, think of you, etc?

at one point i could eat 16 inc pizza Without even Feeling full. I could have 8 rounds of bread with a "big meal " and carry on wanting pudding

This stuff sounds like you may have wheat issues. Or blood sugar issues. You may want that checked out.
A.

[CarryOnLosing]

Originally Posted by astrophe

Depression is anger turned inward. What's all this anger about really? And why internalize external comments? You know you don't HAVE to pick up other people's baggage right? And carry it around for them?

A.

Wow. I'd never thought of it that way. Profound.

[brvsfan99]

I also binge especially if i get major life-upsetting news. I will slip and eat one or two things then decide since I already messed up the rest of the day or week or month (if it's really bad) is gone too. I am a very emotional eater and somehow someway i need to make myself stop. Many times it is just having a good cry or sometimes a trip to the gym. Hang in there.

[JerseyPAGirl]

I did the same thing...my husband was my trigger button. The husband has since left me (believe me, it's a good thing) and I've been steadily losing the rest of my weight nicely. I had lost 80 pounds in the last year...I have about 60 more to go.

He was the food and exercise police (he is "Mr. Atlas"...weight trains and is completely buff, trim and muscular). It was horrible. On occassions, I would come home and not feel like working out and would eat bad foods. I would actually HIDE eating things like cake, cookies, candy, etc. If I didn't exercise or eat properly, he would have a fit, which in turn, would make me want to eat more. It was a horrible cycle...and I realized that I was losing the weight for HIM, not ME.

He would mock me when he knew I ate something "bad"...he would say stuff like, "Go ahead...have some more. Get fat...gain all of that weight back. I don't give a sh*$". So I would. I would stuff my face with so much food, I'm surprised I didn't vomit half of it up. People that are the closest to you can be so mean and cruel sometimes....and you feel helpless and hopeless...it sucks.

I will NEVER allow anyone to steal my joy ever again. And if I want to have that "bad" food, I have it...maybe several....but's that's because I truly WANT or crave it...not because I'm eating to spite him.

I can honestly say I am very happy with me. The rest of the weight that represents so many years of sadness and depression (lots of mental abuse by husband over the years) will come off in due time - I'm in no hurry.

Get right with yourself first; the rest of your life will follow

[ilidawn]

You aren't alone. I wind up binging for tons of reasons. Sometimes its a rude comment or just a look but I've also realized a terribly self destructive and ridiculous trigger where I'll randomly see someone (regardless of whether they're thin or not) and ill get insecure and eat til I'm sick because I feel like why bother? I'll always be fat and ugly. I know its from things I need therapy from but its hard when that binge mode starts and won't stop. ...sorry I think I started rambling. Anyway hopefully things will get better for all of us.

[Chubbygirl253]

I think anyone who is overweight, obese that is, is self-destructive in some way or another. Because we allowed ourselves to get this way. We can't blame the food or anyone else. I'm not a bingeing person but I do overeat. I got fat eating terrible fattening and calorie-rich foods. I've been lazy and sat around on my butt watching tv and eating and rarely got any exercise. To do these things knowing I was only getting bigger and bigger I must have been self-destructive and unhappy with myself.

But now I'm sticking to the plan I'm on (WW) and exercising for HOURS every day. Today I did my most exercise in one day yet--- 3 hours and 20 minutes! Which is 20 mins more than I did yesterday. That's all I can expect of myself, to keep getting better and keep doing more. Today I was rewarded with another 2 lbs lost!

Hang in there. You can do it! But you have to believe in yourself or you will end up sabotaging yourself. No one can do it for you. But just strive to have a good day. A day on plan. A day you made good fitness choices. And then try and improve upon it the next day. And string together those good days until you feel successful because then you will be able to drown out the voice of self-doubt so much easier. And when someone mistreats you it will be a lot easier to shrug off because you feel good about yourself. The thing is, you can't depend on others for your self-worth. It can only come from within yourself.

[Chic Fil A]

Exactly right! You cannot depend on anybody else for your self-worth! Who are they anyways? A destructive husband, random stranger, rude acquaintance, etc. It doesn't matter who. At the end of the day it is your life. You have the power to control your actions. That is the great thing about being human. We have the power to control our actions.

Do you know that you are genetically susceptible to weight gain and fat? You have the POWER to do something about it. Knowledge is power and you have all the tools you need to overcome your DNA. It may be harder for some, but what's a victory without a little suffering right?

You are the main character of your story that is called life. Do not let other people write the pages for you. You are your own author. Some random person you don't even know gives you a mean look? F*** him. He doesn't do anything for you in your life and you will probably never see him again. He isn't even worth 3 words in your story book!

Stay strong and stay positive. And always remember, before you can ask for anyone else's approval, you must first approve of yourself completely. Your body does not define you, it is only the medium that houses your mind. And I am a huge believer in "mind over matter". Don't let anybody bring you down and if you bring yourself down, you know exactly what you are doing to yourself. And I must say again, the best part about being a human being is we have the ability to DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT! SO WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR!!!

[AHLICE]

I understand. I used to stuff myself when I was really angry at somebody and then throw it up as if it's actually going to change anything. You just have to try and channel your anger into something productive, such as cleaning or working out. When you're able to differentiate between your positive thoughts and negative thoughts, you'll be able to control the binges and not let it control you.