[emaline29]

Hi everybody, Thought this thread sounded very interesting so am jumping in if I may!?!
Have been a depressive all my life and done alsorts of things to get to grips with it. Finally had some counselling which was prescribed by my doctor and was very beneficial.
One thing that has to be recognised..first and foremost is that depression is always there, it's something that has to be managed just like having diabetes. I have learnt to recognise the times that I may be in for a downer..if I get too tired or too stressed. Alos listening to various music at the wrong time or watching luvy-duvvy films can trigger me off! So I have to be quite strict with myself and have had several years now without a major one.

Am now doing an Open University course in Law and have come up to a rather tricky assignment which is causing me to get very anxious so am thinking perhaps it would be better to bring it to a halt. I really hate to give in but I have to weigh up my well being against the delight of obtaining a diploma this year...

[hope4me]

Welcome Emaline!! I've known I had depression since I was a child also. I also had terrible anxiety, more so then than now but it can be triggered at times. I had to stop a career as a financial advisor because of the anxiety and depression. I just couldn't handle the stress. You had to get up every day feeling confident and good about yourself, and that just isn't me. I had to move to a more behind the scenes supportive role which is much less stressful. I was crushed when I had to do this but it was for the best. Looking forward to getting to know you better.

Thanks Orchestrated! I hope you're right.

Vermont, are you partying this weekend too?

[emaline29]

Originally Posted by hope4me

Welcome Emaline!! I've known I had depression since I was a child also. I also had terrible anxiety, more so then than now but it can be triggered at times. I had to stop a career as a financial advisor because of the anxiety and depression. I just couldn't handle the stress. You had to get up every day feeling confident and good about yourself, and that just isn't me. I had to move to a more behind the scenes supportive role which is much less stressful. I was crushed when I had to do this but it was for the best. Looking forward to getting to know you better.......

Thanks Hope4me.

I have to admit that my jobs when I was a working person were very much as a "behind the scene" scenario. Accounts and bookkeeping and lots of other clerical work. I do not like anything where I have to deal with people on a personal level either.
Do hope you soon get a job that suits you.

[momof4under5]

SO Ladies I don't even know how long it has been since I checked in I know I was telling everyone about moving to Washington. We got here May 5th. We tried to drive the country in 4 days but it ended up being 5 days. We left Pa around 10 after some super hard goodbyes. We were driving to make a rest stop in Akron, Ohio at my cousins. We left there at 5:30 to go to Davenport, Iowa. Well what wasn't accounted for was the hour time change and longer gassing stops and potty breaks with all these kids. I told my husband to not book rooms because then we were free to just stop early if we were exhausted. I HAVE NEVER BEEN SOOO TIRED IN MY LIFE! We were up 24 hours straight and on the road 18 hours. I called pa friends who I knew were up still or getting up for work to just talk to me to keep me awake. I have never been drunk but I now understand how you can be so tired you feel drunk. I made him stop (he was driving the moving truck in front of me) about 45 minutes out cause i was feeling weird and nothing was making sense. I got out of the car and literally could not walk straight. So I went and splashed water on my face to help and then tried jogging back to the van and felt alert enough to drive the last little bit. (It was early in the morning and the hotel had already charged the card since my husband didnt listen to me about not booking rooms...lol) I NEVER want to feel that tired ever again!! We got about 3 hours sleep and thought it was only an 8 hour drive to Rapid City SD. Here it was 11.5. I told him there was NO way I could do it. My body was shaking and I was completely weak. (I forgot to mention I was sick for 2 weeks before which I thought was just a cold. But the last week packing and pushing ourselves I realized it was worse. So after we packed our 5 bedroom home into one 27 inch truck I went to the med express to find out I had a severe sinus infection. They gave me some might strong anitbiotics that cause things to just "run" right outta my body screaming...HAHA...so that was also why I was so sick!) So We decided to just stay another night and rest all day!! LET ME SAY MONTANA IS BORING!!! Worst driving ever cause there is NOTHING to look at...lol We went stayed by yellow stone park and then did a 15 hour drive the rest of the way to Washington. WE MADE IT!! WHAT A TRIP!!!


I feel like we have been non stop ever since. The church was um stuck in the '60's still. Each week we tore apart room after room. The kitchen was full of mouse poop...yet they just put the dishes in bowls on the counter so the mice couldn't get them...WHAT??....The old Pastors were 70 something. Things were run down including the people. When we got here there are 2 members. One man who has been here for three years, and a new family moving into the area. So basically us 6 doubled the attendance the first week!!! LOL Now we are running in the 20's?

I love being out here. I have begged for years to move a way from my over protective parents. Bout the 3rd or 4th week the kids were getting very home sick for pappy and grammy. I did fine until July 4th. We always go to my parents on holidays!! The new couple at the church said they would be over and a few others...well that couple canceled that morning. So the one guy at the church and his lil grandson came over and spent a little bit with Jeff and the kids outside will I was inside prepping food. I stood there and cried. I am ok being alone but it really got to me. I was counting on adult female company. That sent me into a kinda downward spiral AGAIN! I tried a gym out and it was also lonely. NO ONE EVEN TOOK ME ON A TOUR. HELLO? They only had one worker. I felt more welcomed at Subway afterwards!
I lost weight the first month cause we were busy busy busy unpacking. Then that last mess pushed me up more lbs than I wanted to be.

I hate going in public cause all i have is tshirts and one pair of jeans that fit nice and we are constantly meeting people and I know they look at me and are like ohhh your a pastors wife...blahhh...the one ministers wife at this church my kids went to this week is skinny cute and bopping around there like nothing and I could tell she was just being polite by saying we could get together once school started. If I go in public I have to make the hair nice and makeup nice to make up for the clothes and the fat.

I know my vit. d is still VERY VERY low. The days I am out in the sun for several hours is when I feel energy the next day. I have been doubling up supplements to 4000 daily because I need badly to get my Vit D back up. I can't even drag myself to the couch in the morning thats how bad it is.

So that about brings me to today. It was my birthday and a few people came over and it was "nice". But it made me miss my friends and family that made things fun. Now if I would go home for a week I would have enough of my parents for the rest of the year. But we are going to have to plan something different on the holidays and special occasions because if I have to DEPEND on one more person to make those days special and those people let me down again I will scream. That same couple that ditched us on the 4th did it again...they had a legit reason until I see her posting on Fb pictures of them at a park....like you couldn't have taken that half hour u used at the park to stop over here and let the kids play on the new swingset here? I am 3000 miles from home with NO FAMILY OR FRIENDS and you could care less... I am trying not to become bitter soo the only way for me to do that is to not allow it to happen again. I have to plan something so these special days are not depending on ANYONE but our little family!! WHEW...

THEN my baby turned 5 a week ago...and I am still over weight....depressing she is getting tooo big! So now I have a 5, 6, 7, and 9 year old!

Its depressing but I am going to have to change my ticker. BUT my husband told me to buy the insanity (which I wanted cause a gym just isn't going to work especially once school starts!) and he said he would do it with me...I know its hard I did some samples on youtube but I have always been the go hard go home girl at the gym!

I think that is all about me......whew that is like 3 months in a nut shell!!

emaline- Yes music is a BIG trigger for me!!! I have to be careful with what I listen to also!!!! Hope you are able to focus on you so then you can do what you need to for school!!!

hope-I am not sure what is going on with the jobs but that is a bummer you didn't get the one you really wanted!!!

Orc-no therapy..I can't even get control of the calories to even focus any on the sodium....you go girl!!!!

brvs-sounds hard!!!

Mustang- MAKE SURE you MAKE the dr. test your vit d and b12. With over weight people their body doesnt absorb vit d like regular. I went to the dr so many times about being exhausted and he just said I was fat to lose the weight and i would feel better (in a nice way of course) WELL hmm If I felt better I wouldnt have the weight now would I?!?! Anyways my thyroid is only a tad low. I knew it was something more so I had him take my levels and sure enough I am almost to the severly low. It has kinda the same symptoms as the thyroid...The drs. dont get a kick back on vitamins so they dont test them!! ASK!!! Its always good to rule everything and anything out!!

Vermont-still biking away!!!!

Raven-HIGH...your post was way full of energy...lol!!!

Welcome to any of the newbies..I am trying to catch up from a few months moving and getting settled!!!! HAVE A GREAT WEEK EVERYONE!!!!


Our life in one truck!!! haha Our neighbors loved us cause by the end we were just giving stuff away!!! LOL

[VermontMom]

momof4 - Hi!!!!!!! - we 'old timers' here have thought of you!! congrats on the move, wow what a life change. Real sorry about the people that bugged out on the plans, you're right, sometimes you just can't depend on others so you can only depend on yourself. I hope you can find some adult lady friends that are kewl. If you buy the Insanity, be sure to let us know how it goes!

Hope - so sorry that the offers just aren't working out. Easy for me to say, but hang in there! Yes my 3 day weekend was great, then this past Saturday (2 days ago) we had another bike rally, a close-to-home one. I am no longer Miss Crossroads, lol, someone from Mass. beat me out but good luck to her. But here I am beating out 3 or 4 dudes in the Slow Race, with my last year's sash and tiara -



emaline - hi and Yes I have triggers too, looking at photos of my mom, dad, grandparents (all passed on) and dark days!

Hi to everyone else!!

[hope4me]

Momof4!! What a surprise! It has been so long! I don't think we knew you were moving, did we? My memory kinda stinks lately so maybe you did mention it but either way it's so good to see you! I've missed your posts. Moving and making friends is so hard. I hope you find some people you can count on and have something in common with. Are you still home schooling the kids? You are going to have to change your name to Momof4OVER5, lol! I hope you are back with us to stay...

Vermont! Oh my gravy! I would pay good money for your arms!!(if I had a job) Look at those things! You look like you lift weights regularly. And I have to say, you deserve a tiara for just being able to wear that outfit. If I ever get to that point again, I'll buy myself a sash and tiara. You are rockin it!

I didn't do much of anything today. I did a couple of loads of laundry and made a lasagna, then took a long nap. Maybe tomorrow I'll be more productive. My aunt is in the hospital. She had a knee replacement and then 2 weeks later had her gall bladder taken out. She had to go to the emergency room a couple of days ago, about 3 days after the surgery b/c of nausea. They are doing a test tomorrow on her pancreas to see if there is a problem there. I'm kinda worried about her. If you have time say a prayer or send some good vibes her way. I think she could use it.

TTYL

[Anna1975]

Hi everyone. I'm new to this site and I've never actually been on a forum of any kind before. I've been struggling with my weight and with depression for several years and hope to get a handle on both this year. I think they might be connected. It seems that the unhappier I am, the more weight I gain, which of course creates this nasty cyclical effect. Anyway, I hope that joining this forum will help. It's nice to know that I am not alone in this struggle.

[emaline29]

Hi Anna, You are certainly in the right place 'cos we all have the tendency to start packing in the goodies when getting stressed.

Mumof4... Wowee!! What a hectic drive... bless you, with the kiddies to look after too!! ..

Vermont.. How great you look... That's some body you have there..

Thanks for the welcome ladies.

Supposed to have done my assignment today but it was too hot for me even though I stayed indoors all day. This old 77yo can't tolerate the heat like it used to...and anyway, us lot over here are not used to hot weather! ..
Will have to put my best foot forward tomorrow as cut off day is Friday noon and I haven't even started.

[VermontMom]

Hope - sending prayers and good thoughts to your auntie!! (((((goodvibes)))))

Anna - and Hi!! yes this is a very very supportive place do you have specific triggers to your depression? do you see someone to talk to? I am great all summer but turn to bleh in winter months.

emaline - sorry it's hot there for you! hope it cools off soon

and HI to everyone else!

we have had our own cooldown (not THAT hot here but too warm for us) and a lack of rain...well tons of thunderstorms rolling through last night, and dumping alot of rain, hooray! I heard the plants and lawn slurping it up happily.

[momof4under5]

Emaline-Thank you..Yes it was a drive...kiddos did great on the drive though!!! They can be a handful! We just got them a swing so they are enjoying that and staying outta my hair...LOL!!!

Anna-YES I am sure we all have been in that cycle...You eat cause your depressed and your depressed because you eat...HATE IT!!!! Welcome...hope you stay!! I started back here when I had all four kids newborn, 1,2,3 and 5 (hence the name) It was a very dark time then and I actually had a good gyno dr who saw the signs of depression and got me on something to help me. Now I just deal with bouts of it if something sets it off. I went off meds on my own last year cause they were making me angry a lot. So now I take some zoloft during my pms depression but that is about it!!!

hope- YES I should change my name to that...LOL!!!! It was sooo long ago when I started here...some very dark days!!!! I think that is why I dont visit so much anymore...Back then this place was my life support truly!!! Now I just go thru episodes when the black cloud swings over my head!!! I think I only mentioned the move briefly...cause it was hectic and I was sick. Yes I do homeschool. Will have all four in school this year!! YIKES!!!! Right now I am trying to get myself outta bed and moving in the mornings because I struggle with not "having"to be up. I could sleep ALLL DAY!

Vermont-LOOK at you on your bike!!! All hot and toned arms!!!! I hope I can meet some awesome friends here too..but I was thinking today maybe there is a reason...I need to focus on the church now I guess and not friends..BUT friends sure are nice...haha

SO I am ready to start smashing my head off the dresser to get my rear outa bed. I used to work a job at one time where I had to be there by 5 am (before 5 if I was the manager on duty) I made it there by 5 and was mostly ALWAYS pleasant....greeting the regular customers by name, getting their regular stuff....but it seems now for me to even get myself showered before noon is a chore. I know my vit d has ALOT to do with it and I cant seem to remember to take the dang things daily! I am on the verge of going all natural food for a while to see if that help. I think the crap in my system is affecting me too!! I am just sick and tired of it. I need some major self control. I think I have been rebelling against living in a over structured/strict home.I wasn't allowed snacks, I wasn't allowed to do anything, I had to sit quietly and play (i was adhd!!!!!) I couldn't use the phone or computer, dad NEVER left me sleep in past 8:30 (really a teenager?) EVER single part of my life was run by my strict father and ocd mother....so I dont understand why I struggled with clutter, disorganization, cant handle structure now..I grew up with it so I should be used to it like habit...WELLL I am assuming that its my sub-conscience rebelling!!!! LOL Anyways hoping I can get my act together I still have office/school boxes to put away and a garage to organize! I am going to be working on a blog and posting all the projects we have done and I will link it to here so you can read if you want to!!!

Ok not many smiley icons tonight need to get to bed!!!!

Hi to all I missed!!

[Rose Centered]

Hi July Chat Friends! I haven't posted lately but have been getting daily email updates so that I can see how everyone is doing. I still consider myself something of a newbie, but see that some others have joined, and a big welcome to them. I'm rooting for all of you--actually, I'm keeping y'all in prayer. (I'm not from the South, but the word "y'all" is such a good one, I like to use it.)

First of all, Vermont ~ I am so envious of you and your wonderfully toned body! I am glad that you have had a chance to ride and have a good time lately.

Hope ~ You are at the top of my prayer list, for a satisfying job that pays well.

Hi to Braves Fan. Glad you are keeping busy. For me, that's a sign that I'm doing pretty well emotionally. I hope that it's true for you too. Your program really seems to be working!

Anna ~ hi and welcome!!

GEM ~ Miss you. Hope that means things are going well. How has the thyroid testing gone?

Emaline ~ you are right about depression being something that it always there. I have learned that finding the triggers and then figuring out what to do to get past them is important. Though sometimes I just need to wade through them to reach the other shore Kind of an obscure metaphor for acknowledging what I'm feeling and (if I can get some time alone or with a very good friend) letting myself feel it. And then letting it go. If I can do that w/o eating everything in sight or spending a fortune on "me" stuff online, I consider it progress!

Kathleen ~ My story about counselors and meds is long, but probably not dissimilar from that of many other folks. So I won't go into detail (well, not too much). My depression started around the time of puberty (what isn't depressing about puberty), hit somewhat of a low with roommate problems in college, up and down a lot when the kids were little. (They are in their 30's now!). I sought help from counselors on and off until I hit menopause in my early 40's (what isn't depressing about menopause!) Then things got really, really bad.

I saw a great counselor, but wasn't really feeling better, so I scheduled an appt with a psychiatrist and we tried all sorts of meds. The first made me gain (more) weight--15# in 2 weeks! And I slept all of the time. We finally found something that helped me (Wellbutrin), and I stayed on that for about 6 years. I was feeling really good (but not losing much weight) and decided to go off of it, gradually, of course. I was good for a year and then my mother fell and was hospitalized. That was a humungous trigger, and I had my worst incident ever. (This has not turned out to be the short story...sorry!)

I went back to a counselor and then psychiatrist again, and she put me back on Wellbutrin. I needed to go up to 450 mg to feel better (I had been on 300 mg), and I've learned that I cannot go off of my meds. Others have told me that med increases after going off them are not unusual. My diagnosis is biochemical depression (not that I don't have "issues" which frequently need addressing).

Other folks (non-depressant folks) don't understand, but that's their problem. My family is full of depression and alcoholism (my parents weren't alcoholics, tho).

My current situation with my mother's increasing dementia and my sister-in-law's diagnosis of lung and liver cancer and her recent set-backs have recently been huge problems for both my husband and myself. We are trying to be there for each other. Sometimes I just want to scream "my mother is driving me nuts!!!"
Okay, I do scream that, but DH understands and sympathizes.

Mom of Four at new home in Washington ~ You may not feel like it, but I think that you are doing great, esp considering all of your major challenges. Thinking of your vit D deficiency, do you like to garden? (My cousin told me, "I really don't like gardening and plants--they are so needy! ) She has 3 young children and a dog.) I love to garden, and the exercise and fresh air really help me.
But I hate the sun when such heat comes with it, so I have been outside in the front only once this summer, and not once in the back. You can imagine what they look like. I expect our condo board to send a nice little note of "clean it up"! We are expected to keep up property adjacent to our home ourselves.

+++++++++++

Update on my "paperwork" - 2 checking accts balanced and kept up. Three to go (2 are my mom's--do you think that means anything?!)

O my gosh, I need to post more regularly or something! I cannot believe what time it is. Too bad I don't have time to exercise before work!


Hugs to y'all!!

[tnhomeschoolmom]

I'm new here and hopes that this time I can lose the weight I so desparatly need to lose. I think my biggest problems with weight are overeating, but I have also been taking zoloft for about 9 months and have gained about 30 pounds. Maybe I'm feeling better so I'm eating more

I've used phentermine in the past and at one point got down to 170...which was "my skinny" cause that's the lowest weight I've been in 13 years. I'm at 250 now...the highest I've ever been including pregnancy and it's making me miserable.

I'm hoping by joining in talking with everyone here that I can lose the extra weight. My goal for this week is everytime I feel like eating when I shouldn't be snacking, I'll come here.

[Rose Centered]

HomeSchoolMom ~ We hope that you'll find 3FC helpful, esp. this forum about depression and weight loss. As if one weren't bad enough, having both of these issues can feel like a double whammy!

I haven't had an esp good week, so I really feel your pain! (That's the reason I haven't sent any daily reports since Sunday to my diet buddy/daughter. ).
The post prior to yours pretty much has my life story, in true rambling form. So let's talk about you. Are you still on Zoloft, and if so, are you feeling better on it? Does your Dr think it could be related to your overeating? You are welcome to keep a daily diary here (or perhaps you'd prefer to do it privately!)
Writing things down frequently helps me understand where I am, why, and what I really want. (My diet buddy daughter is a social worker who works in an alcohol/drug rehab center. I seem to have picked up on her way of looking at things sometimes.)

Uh oh, she just texted me about stopping by after work...I'm in for it now!

[tnhomeschoolmom]

Mom of 4: Happy belated birthday! I also take d3 but my doc said I could safely take up to 10,000 iu per day. I know it sounds like alot but they do sell the 10,000s as one single pill so apparently it's not all that uncommon.

Rose: I haven't really discussed with the doc my overeating on zoloft with my doc. She did notice my weight gain and told me to lay off the sweets. Easier said than done...it's great that you have your daughter for accountability. I'm gonna talk to my MIL to see if she wants to lose with me.

[Anna1975]

Thank you everyone for such a warm welcome!

Vermontmom, my triggers seem to be anything from shopping for clothes to going out to eat with my uber fit husband.

tnhomeschoolmom, I too gained weight while taking Zoloft. It was kind of weird really. After about 2 years and 25 extra pounds, I quit taking it. I'm not always sure it was a good idea. I still have bad days sometimes, but I have found that going for a walk helps with the depression a bit. Now, I've started taking phentermine. I've lost 15 lbs since April so far. Yay! But sometimes it feels like I will NEVER get even close to my goal. I like your idea about posting when I want to snack!