Vermont I am with you. Before we were married, dh had a HUGE collection of magazines and some were from the "gentlemen's" clubs. I made him throw all of them in the trash compactor. I was hot and hurt.

Hi all. I came here looking for support from other women dealing with depression but in reading this thread I stumbled upon this topic and I'm really baffled, so please don't take offence, because I don't mean to offend anyone, but are you guys saying that our husbands/partners shouldn't watch prOn? Or were you just upset it was behind your back?
Is this something a lot of women get upset about? I thought watching prOn was normal?? Help a confused girl out :-) Is this something I should be looking out for? Does it mean more than just a typical guy just getting off sometimes?? Is it naiive that I don't have a problem with this?

meltaway hey and welcome this is a good place to get support for your depression.

To be honest this is a topic I actually feel pretty strongly about. I don't think porn itself is necessarily wrong if it is consenting adults who are healthy mentally as well as physically. I've read many stories of ex prostitutes (trafficked women) who were forced into doing porn too. For me my main issue with it is that it's so derogatory to women. I don't think anyone has the right to that, if it's more equal/normal sex then yeah I understand it but I think it's pretty screwed up and a sign of inequalities still prevalent in our society that it's ok to abuse women and treat them like crap the way they do in porn. And it's becoming more and more common and normal. More and more young girls are having bad first time sexual experiences because the boys have been watching porn and think that's what normal sex is.

I'm obviously not speaking for anybody but myself here as I wasn't even talking about it until you posted haha those are my feelings about it though.


Also not all men watch porn
http://www.antipornmen.org/about/#.T7tNKEWm-So

Hello everyone! I'm afraid to report my dietary debauchery has continued - and now it's made its way into the exercise realm. I'm usually good about going to the gym and exercising, but I haven't been in 4 days. I am going tonight though.

My friend is getting married Saturday - so I have to travel and also have wedding activities. The debauchery is going to continue, unfortunately. Next Tuesday when things settle down a bit - I am going to make a whole hearted attempt to get my rear end all the way back on the wagon!

Cemommster, good luck with the exercise and going back to work. Hang in there!

Hope, I understand how you feel totally. Here's a

Vermont - at least it's not Boys gone wild! (I am going to stop with the inappropriate humor now). Seriously, at least you didn't let it turn into a huge blowout argument and were able to "simmer down".

Hi Leila and Meltaway! Hi to anyone I missed!

Hi Meltaway (cute name) and ! Yes this is the depression support forum, but we do throw in our personal daily stuff here too. I know if I put my 'problem' out there on the general forum I would have gotten a billion replies...I just wanted a little :hugs: from my peeps here

No you are not naive at all.. It is a subject that does not bother some women at all, but yes it does bother a large amount of women ( I quickly did a google search of 'my husband watches p0rn and there were heartbreaking replies) For me, it is because I have such low self esteem, all I can think is that he prefers 'that' look to me. The big boobs, great figures, beautiful legs.

I KNOW he loves me, and he does find me sexy (and he does tell me like every day, he is very very good that way) I just can't believe it because I don't think I am.

I read what a lady counselor was writing, that men who watch the usual stuff, absolutely still love their wives, and want to have sex with their wives, not the images they see. I believe my DH has a problem because, when we were on vacation and in a hotel room together, he handed me his laptop to use, and there on an open tab was a closeup shot of a vagina. Come on...he couldn't lay off of looking, even for that time? So I said that I knew I couldn't stop him, and wouldn't forbid him, but I did NOT want to see evidence of it, to be reminded of it.


Okay, I needed someone to show me a silver lining!!! thanks GEM

Good Afternoon everybody. I got out of the house today and it helped some with my mood.

Vermont, the trigger for my bad mood aside from the usual craziness is being laid off from my job. Now I'm at home scared to death not that I'll never work again but that I'm going to never replace the salary that I had on that job. I'm sure I could go out and get a low paying job but I'll never have anything that I want and won't be able to save for retirement. I'm not saying I want to live like a movie star, just normal middle class. I want to be able to pay my bills, save money, and not have completely stress out if any emergency comes up. That's not such a lofty goal but for years I went from low paying job to low paying job even though I have a college degree and I just don't want to go back there again. I spent the past 2 yrs paying off debt from those years of low pay and I'm afraid at age 41 that I'll just start going backwards when I was just starting to get ahead.

Of course having time on my hands has never really been my friend either. It's too much time to think about things. I'm at my heaviest and that certainly isn't helping. I hate interviewing but it's especially hard when you feel you look hideous. OK, enough of that. I'm feeling a little better, at least for today but I just wanted to explain my mood.

Mustang, good to see you. I'm sorry you are struggling right now. It's so strange how we can be on such a good path and then all off the sudden we just lose control. It's good that you are going to work out and have a plan to restart on Tuesday.

Cemommster, did you get the plumbing problems fixed? We always seemed to have plumbing problems when we had company. Very annoying.

As I'm typing I'm watching a documentary on HBO call The Weight of the Nation. Has anybody else watched this? Some of it is interesting, some isn't. Some of it is scary. It's talking about being overweight of course and the effects on the body and the economy etc.

Hi all- I've not been on here very much the past few weeks. Just thought I'd stop in and say hi! I started doing HIT (high intensity training/circuit training) this week and have lost 2 lbs. I'm no longer obsessing about calories, just being more religious with keeping up with exercising.

As far as the porn discussion goes... I can see everyone's points. I am both offended by some porn and it makes me feel bad about my body. That being said, my husband and I have been apart more than we've been together throughout the past 3.5 years because he is in the military. I know he watches it and I'm... OK with that. We are in a very different situation than most married couples and I would definitely be upset to find that he'd been watching some if we were living together...

I don't post a lot, kind of in spurts depending on how busy I am, but having this site has helped me so much with so many issues.
As far as porn goes, if it doesn't bother you, fine, you may find someday it does bother you. It's complicated and I have had opinions all over the map over the years.

thanks everyone for your input. I'm over my initial anger/hurt, guess I'm settling into 'acceptance' stage again. There are worse things in life, right

Hope, i was dumb for not realizing 'of course, it's being laid off that is bothering her!' I wish so much that TODAY you find something, or get hired back..the loss of feeling financial security is shattering isn't it. Hugs hugs hugs to you!

hi erbear!!! nice to see you again congrats on being down with the help of the HIIT!

gonnadoit, I always enjoy what you write, here and on other threads.

and big Hey to everyone else

gonnadoitthistime-I agree that it is quite complicated! That is for sure.

I need to add that women blaming "low self esteem" for not feeling OK about what someone in their life is doing can get out of hand. I am just saying sometime not liking what your partner is doing is simply about not liking what they are doing, whatever it is, and it's not always about yet one other thing we women need to improve about ourselves so as not to be a problem for people in our lives. Just sayin....

gonnadoit, I completely understand what you are saying. Something can be right or wrong no matter how it makes me feel. As women we often tend to try to please, letting everyone else do whatever they want and if we need to change ourselves in order to let it happen, unfortunately we often chose to do so.

I need to run to the store b/c I'm having dinner with a friend tonight and we usually cook at her house. The only thing right now that I really want to do is either nap or eat something sweet.

Vermont, no worries. You've been really busy with work. Oops, gotta run.

I am so useless when I'm not working. I could literally watch tv all day long and not do anything.

hope - I know it is very hard to feel motivated when you do not have a set schedule that you have to adhere to. Thinking of you!!

gonnadoit - great point, thanks

How is everyone? Sorry I haven't posted much, sometimes it gets a bit overwhelming when I want to reply to everyone with something meaningful. Thinking of you all!