AuntyJam - that is so great about your DH being so supportive!!! we know it must be puzzling to them .. "why is she so unhappy, is it because of me?" must be what they think sometimes. Best wishes on keepin on with the 10Ktraining!!
And the only thing that looks good in my house right now are those freshly painted cabinets

Hey GEM! I'm sorry about the 'episode' I'm glad you were on plan today and going to your SET class, that does sound like a fantastic exercise session

Mustang, I worry about talking about my depression as well and I think I may talk about it too much. I feel like I'm definitely the downer and some people may shy away from me because of that. I'm sure that they get tired of it and I don't blame them especially if they don't have the problem. As far as the being alone for a few weeks goes, I would be cautious if I were you. I think we talked about before how quickly things can go downhill if you are isolated. Maybe you could just take some time for yourself but not for a very long stretch.

Aunty Jam, I'm impressed that you are training for a 10k, that's great! The speed will come in time but you should be thrilled to be able to say that you can run. I'm glad to hear your hubby is being so supportive.

Leila-I think my depression meds keep me from crying most of the time. When I'm not on them I can cry at the drop of a hat.

Vermont, maybe as you clean different areas of the house you should just rope them off so nobody can ruin your progress.

I literally lol'd at that, hope!

Still doing good here. Though yesterday I had to had some dental decay taken care of (I don't want to call them cavities, hah!) two teeth next to each other, and OMG it was almost $400 plus we just paid property taxes last week, so that was a big hit. But we have yet another freakishly warm and sunny day here, record-breaking all week. So I am happy about that.

When I was working out this morning, I was admiring the freshly-vacuumed carpet (have to do that before I work out...it is awful doing pushups and coming face-to-icky carpet!) and it's silly but it helps me to recognize that I am in control of some things (the vacuum cleaner, hah) and can make them the way I want them.

Hello to all, please pop in and talk about what's going on with you

Good morning everyone!

hope, I think I am going to take your advice and not isolate too much. But I do think I'm going to spend a little quality time with me this weekend. And you're not the only one that can cry at the drop of a hat! I'm a big girl, but I'm really just a big softie. I wear my feelings on my sleeve and I am really hoping that once I get a handle on dealing with my feelings I won't be so sensitive all the time.

Vermont, good to see you! I totally got a visual of something like this for your house once Hope made the suggestion (notice the clean suits, LOL):


Also, good luck with the 'dental decay' and the dentist! I hate the dentist, ugh. But I have discovered that I do like laughing gas. It makes everything oooooookkkkkkkkk. LOL.

It's funny you mention being in control of some things, Vermont - we talked about that last night in my recovery group meeting.

I actually really like the recovery international meetings. I feel like I'm getting more out of those meetings than I am out of my paid therapy sessions.

Ok now I want to cry because I wrote out huge replies to everyone and then I closed the window by mistake.. haha, eugh!

Let me try this again

VermontMom I can understand that, it's usually difficult to tell close people for some reason. I'm so glad that you're happy though, that's wonderful, you deserve it I think this time I found it so hard to admit because I've been through it before and it's been up and down my whole life. I was just in denial because I wanted to be ok so desperately. I'll figure it out eventually. No, not someone professional, I've had bad experiences in the past but I know a lot of people who benefit from it. I can't afford it now anyway and the free ones have such huge waiting lists. I have a friend that's doing a group therapy thing and she finds it really great. You should look into seeing someone, it's probably a good idea

AuntyJam Wow, the fact that you can run at all is amazing to me! I can run for like 20 seconds haha! So well done. And don't beat yourself up about not always doing it.. that's life, sometimes you'll be able to do more and sometimes less.

grneyedmustang I hope you're feeling better too, thanks! I'd totally recommend giving up alcohol for a while. It's a depressant and really bad for mood swings. Especially if you're considering taking some alone time, it's important to make sure you're doing it for the right reasons. I'll be honest I've done something similar but it was just my depression isolating me from people even more, under the guise of "figuring myself out". Although if you honestly feel positive about it yeah maybe it's not such a bad idea but you have to be really clear about what you're doing/want to achieve and have a plan I think.

hope4meIs that strange? I remember that from when I was on antidepressants years ago.. felt strange to me. I hope they're helping you anyway.

It's late so I hope that everything I wrote makes sense!

I just got home after a few days back visiting family. It was tricky to eat normally (and I didn't) but I didn't eat anything too terrible that I gained.. next time I'm going to take more control of what I'm eating. One day we stopped at an American style diner for dinner and there was nothing healthy on the menu. Sucks.

Mood wise I'm feeling really up and down. Finding some of the decisions I made when I was emotionally vulnerable quite difficult and now I'm not sure how I feel. Bit mixed up really. Trying to focus on positive things in my life though.

Hope everyone's doing well

I love the visual of roping off the house!!

I was off today and I really didn't do anything. I cooked breakfast and cleaned up but ended up taking a really long nap. I completely enjoyed the nap but I hate that I slept away my only day off.

I've read everything above but I;m bummed that I slept late today and have to get ready for work and don't have time to comment!! but and I have listened to you all

I'm off to work too Vermont. I work 1-10pm today, yuck. I'm trying not to be bitter that a day of my life is wasted on a stupid part time job. I need to reframe that into 'at least I have a job' (or 2 in my case).

Okay Peeps! Well, I am back and have managed to finally get a grip! I appreciate the support you guys show to me... I know I have been a little vague but basically we were counting on about 3 years before we had to think about basically getting our income slashed in half along with some other pretty serious life adjustments...well...life decided that one year was all we are getting and that took a little wind out of us... I have since recovered and we are trying to formulate a plan, possibly purchase a house, and me get gainfully employed. We have a lead on a house that we love but it looks like we might not get it, they don't appear to be very willing to deal and we can't pay what they want. I have jumped through a few of the hoops required for a potential job but I am still waiting to be called officially. I have had to stop working out for awhile because of my foot problems and am pretty much back at where I started before I started at the gym...like 192...which is depressing but surprisingly I am doing pretty well with it most of the time. I wish things were a little different but I am definitely getting better at accepting things.

Holly! You rock as always!!! Soooo happy you are still doing well...riding your bike and decluttering...you are definitely my hero!!! :-)

Hope...Mustang...Aunty...love you guys and all the ones I am leaving out as well...may everyone find the beauty today and breathe deeply...

I have to run, I have a lot to do but I wanted to drop in on you all and let you know I am okay...

~Raven~

Raven - so glad you were able to say hey wow, getting a house, preparing for the job market..big big decisions and plans. Best wishes!!! It is so kewl to me for someone to call me their hero However, our place is such a wreck, they are tiny little victories against the war, lol.

hope, that sucked that your Sunday has to be given to the work cause, and 1-10 pm is quite a sucky shift. I am in your corner, girl The money must be helpful but gosh it is a drag, I know you would rather be doing a million other things. I guess it always helps to do the 'glass half full' deal. Regarding your napping the other day..sometimes we just need it. At least you enjoyed it. Perhaps the next time you have off, you won't feel the need. Is it still hot there? We are down into the teens again, brrr.

LeilaJey, I'm really glad you have joined us Are you still feeling kinda up n down?

How is GreenEyedMustang doing? And our AuntyJam?? and marie, ems, momof4, and our other chicks? You are not forgotten!!!

I have had a couple bad eating days due to work (yeah that's my excuse) Someone kick me in the rear, please.

Vermont, we never know what kind of weather we are going to get anymore. Last week it was in the 80's, then rainy all weekend. It was 70 today, 57 tomorrow and back to 80 on wednesday. I hear you on the poor eating days. I ate pretty badly this weekend and tried to do better today. It started off great but lead to McDonald's for dinner.

Raven, I'm glad you stopped in to let us know you are ok. That's a lot to take in and make decisions on. I wish you the best.

Work has been crazy busy. I should go in early to catch up a little. We are taking so many calls that work backs up. I'm am brain dead by the end of the day.

VermontMom - can I call you Holly? Which do you prefer?

Thanks me too. I'm feeling a bit better. The weather in Ireland is amazing right now. Perfect blue skies, up to 20C (I don't understand fahrenheit at all.. Celcius makes sense to me. 0 is freezing 100 is boiling). The only unfortunate thing is that I can't go outside in it because the antibiotics I'm on right now can cause really bad burning so even though I'm wearing spf I started to go red pretty quick and normally I would never burn in Ireland. Sucks.

Welcome back Ravengirl!

hope4me
Hope work isn't driving you too crazy! Enjoy the nice weather if you can.

Mostly my head is full of stuff with the antibiotics. I've been trying to kill a gum abscess for a while (it's been there for a while too). Surgery is scheduled for May (even after letters from Doctors and Dentists saying we've run out of options). Although I know that I am lucky that I can still get free medical treatment in Ireland if I don't have money you just have to wait a lot longer than somebody with insurance.

As I said it sucks that I can't be outside in the first nice weather this year, especially because I find the Winters so difficult, but oh well.. might encourage me to do some Spring cleaning or cleaning in general.

Yeah right haha

Hello everyone!

LeilaJey, Glad you're feeling better. Wonderful weather definitely helps, I think. Hopefully you'll be able to get out in it soon. And good luck with the spring cleaning! I need to join you in those efforts!

Hope, I am actually traveling up your way next week - my BFF lives in Richmond. I hope the weather is nice when I come up and not up and down as you've mentioned. She's on Weight Watchers and we're planning our exercise now (walking outdoors, visiting parks, etc.) to offset our dietary debauchery. I haven't seen her in 2 years and I'm sure there is going to be plenty of catching up to do - which usually involves food porn and wine of some sort. But we're going to behave some of the time...don't want to undo the hard work we've done!

I hope your work schedule lets up soon, though - there's nothing like being super super busy at work!

Vermont, Here's your kick!!! LOL.

Raven, good luck with the job and the house!

I'm actually doing pretty good these days. The Recovery International meetings are definitely helping - along with the change in weather. I'm really excited because I measured my upper arms today and I've lost almost two inches since january! On the way to no more upper arm jiggle!!!! I'm also excited because I ordered some new running shoes (these):
- they are mens but I have really big feet, and they don't really look like men's shoes - I guess now all I need is a race to run...

LeilaJey - "Holly" is good and it's not as long to type out, lol. How's your housecleaning going, ha! I laugh at my efforts and lack of motivation also

Hey I'm real sorry about the abscess, hope you're not in too much discomfort, though it sounds painful Oh do be careful about the sunlight and antibiotics!!!! I once got the most horrible all-over body rash from being on an antibiotics (amoxycillin) and had about 2 inches of wrist skin exposed to the sun..it was awful. So be careful!

GEM - I'm so glad those meetings are helping you! and lol @ the 'food debauchery' that will happen with your BFF. Good that you're planning exercise together to combat the food porn and *WOW* at those running shoes!!! May I respectfully offer my opinion that THEY DO NOT LOOK LIKE MEN'S SHOES at all and OH MY GOSH congrats on losing 2 freakin inches off your upper arms!!!! I HATE my upper arms, they are big in proportion to the rest of me and I still don't feel comfortble wearing short sleeves. CONGRATS!!!!

Hi hope!! sorry that you're brain dead at the end of the day...i bet you don't like to talk on the phone at home, at all

Well after having 3 days at work when I had a big cookie (or worse) I had a completely on-program day yesterday, and think it will be so again today. Who the heck knows what governs my hand-to-mouth

Hello to all others and talk to you soon

Hello all! Just wanted to drop in and say HI! I've only been on this forum about a month and have been looking around different sections/threads a lot.

You seem like a great bunch of gals, and I'd love to have somewhere to check in.