Hey girl. I have struggled with eating disorders too. Been in counselling well most of my life! Honestly the only way to get through this is to seek help and to start loving you on the inside no matter what size you are. LIFE stands for: Living Internal Freedom Everyday. There are reasons why you feel the way you do. I went through trauma counselling (which may not be the case for you) but it really helped for me to sit with my horrible emotions but instead of saying all those horrible things to myself that go along with those emotions (like I'm so fat, I hate myself, look how disgusting I am, how could anyone love me, I wouldn't date me, I'm so ugly etc) I sit with the uneasy feeling, close my eyes and see where I feel it in my body, and gently touch it (mostly it's in my stomach) and say "it's ok to feel this, I'm going to nurture myself, it's ok, I'm going to be kind to this feeling, I'm going to breath and bring light to this feeling and love it for what it is" When we stuff the emotions down and run and cope (which binging did for me, then purging) it's a coping mechanism to run from those emotions.

Now I'm not a psychologist or anything, I'm just expressing what has been working for me and what I have done. But seeking help is the first step. I am realizing I don't know how to cope with my emotions. Right now I smoke. I have given up eating/purging and pot for cigarettes. I know it's a crutch. I know there's still a reason for it, but as I progress I am trying to face the fear that brings up my feelings of insecurity and sitting with them. Watching for triggers etc. Again this didn't happen over night. I have spent the last 2 years in serious trauma counselling.

You are beautiful. Everyone is. You have to try and learn how to see it in yourself. Everyone else does right? Your boyfriend does. There must be a reason why. This is the hardest step in the journey. But it's worth it. Work on all of you so you can be healthy in every area of your life xoxo

I'm really scared of losing weight. I'm not comfortable with the way that men look at me when I'm thin. I've spent most of my adult life wearing my hair up and not dressing up much because I don't want attention from men. I just want to be me, to be myself, to be able to walk across a room or across a parking lot without feeling like some jerk's undressing me with his eyes.

Sometimes I really hate men. :/

i have to say I did the exercise where you write down 25 things that scare you about losing weight and it was a pretty powerful exercise.

I'll try that. Thanks.

This is a great thread that touches on many issues with being afraid to lose weight. Thank you to the OP for posting it.


As determined as I am to losing the weight and becoming fit, there's a fear there that I can't define. I do know that my weight hides me, but from what? I don't fear rape because rapists aren't particular. I'm going to read this thread again and try to do some self-analysis. Maybe it's because I've been fat for so long (almost 20 years) that I'm afraid of who the new slim person will be when I reach my goal. I don't know. But yes, I'm scared of something.

omg!!!! i have been doing this roller coaster for the last 7 weeks!!!!!!

no joke i have been teatering between 216-219 for 7 weeks. its not a plateau either. its me doing good for a week and then bad for 2-3 days. like i just cant control myself.

223 is the lowest i can remember being since freshman year. so for 10years i cant remember ever being lower. and it is terrifying me!!! i had a goal to be at 199 at dec31st. if i would just stay close to plan this would have been so easy! 50lbs in 8month ya easy. but i keep hurting myself.

its like i conspire against myself to stay on plan then i conspire against myself when i fall off plan. and each time i know whats happening but i cant seem to stop.

this is ridiculous and once again its wed. i have been on plan for 3 days and back down to 217.5 from 220.

i really dont want to keep losing these 3lbs. i want to stick to my plan!

This post literally made my week. I feel like I want to print it out!

Also, it really is all about your confidence. Your confidence is what lets your personality shine through! When you're shy, or are obviously insecure about an aspect of yourself, it draws other people's attention to it even more. Also, horses for courses and all that ... whoever isn't right for one man is going to be someone else's dream woman. The woman they just can't be without. Believe in yourself.

interesting, I know I'm scared of becoming 'thin' some of those reasons listed I haven't thought about but they ring true when I read them.

Then, I have all these fears how all these things will be different when I lose weight...but then I also have a fear what if when I'm thin nothing happens? if I'm treated the same and will basically be the same person (this is one of my fears)...you know, because I'm so used to blaming things on my weight...if I get turned down for a job or dates (because becoming thin didn't help those) I can't say "oh it must be because I'm fat". Then again maybe losing weight would help those things and I have the unknown to fear then

This post made me realize some things. I have been trying to figure out why I stay on that cycle so I can break. I am afraid to be thin because I don't think I will be as pretty as I am now. I am use to seeing myself a certain way and that change is scary.

And I also like the weight for protections. If I was smaller, I feel like people would try to take advantage or something. It's weird really. I want to be healthier and I want to be able to do things that I can't do now, but those two thought seem to always be in the back of my mind.

Thanks for posting this. Alot those reason for being over weight is me though and through. I hate this being over weight, obese crap. I really want to be thin and attractive and want others to say wow. At the same time my fat is my protection. I lost 60 pounds awhile back and then guys really started noticing me and although I was happy for once that they where noticing me, then I got scared and just put it all back on.

I really want to be out the 200's I have been in the 200's since as long as I can remember and it sucks. I want to be attractive. I look and my body and just feel disguised with it, but soon as I loose weight and start getting noticed I gain all the weight back.

This thread has gave me a new look on the issues of my over eating. I have a lot of things to work out both inside and out. I hate putting my self out here cause I can't hear someone else tell me that I need help for having a fear of relationships that why I fear rape when that is not it at all I have been with the same man for 3years. The fear of rape comes from a real place from a awful real time in my life.


One of my new goals is to show the guys in my RC community that hot girls can fly and are not just poster models for fly low.

I had fear of the unknown (or so I called it) since I had never been below 140 in my adult life. So when I was within 5 pounds of that goal I started feeling very anxious, like even feeling out of breath when I thought about reaching 140, and couldn't really pinpoint other than I really didn't know what to expect. I had to just push through without thinking much about it. When I passed that and surpassed it the feeling ended up subsiding. Now that I am getting close to stretch goal though my past bouts with bulimia have resurfaced and I am currently fighting those away... I just want to be healthy.

I think I might give that a try. I think this forum is gonna be really good for me.

This is also true for me in many ways, although I guess I'm more afraid of the failure to be thin than actually being thin per say, does that make sense?
I feel like if I put everything, all of myself, into this diet and I still fail, it'll hurt too much to bear and I don't think I'll come back from it.
Saying this however, I still have a significant fear of the unknown. Although I'm only 18, I can't remember a time when I wasn't overweight. I have only ever looked at the world as a fat person and I feel like when I lose the weight i'll be seeing the world for the first time as a thin person and i don't know if I'm up for that. I've always been judged on my intelligence, academic merit and maturity. i don't know how I'll fare being judged on my looks, if people's opinions of me will be different, if my opinion of me will be different.
i don't want to be judged on how I look, in fact, i don't want ANY attention on the way I look, fat or thin, and I'm afraid of how I'll react when people do

wow made me think a lot

I have a fear when I lose weight I won't look great.... I feel super unattractive and invisible right now and have never felt noticed my entire life. I have lots of friends that are bigger that get tons of compliments ---they also really dress well and carry themselves well as well. I don't put much effort into myself at all. I kind of just gave up on myself ---I don't know what the world is like as a thin person.