[sunnyblu]

Some women subconsciously gain weight to be less attractive because they have been abused in some way (typically some kind of sexual abuse); they might also gain weight because of mental abuse from someone who continuously puts them down and they come to believe what they are told about their attractiveness (lack of) and so on. So yes, women have been known to do that so they will not be "bothered" by men. It's very sad.

[PersonalTrainer]

Just a guy's opinion. I think he is very controlling. Any guy should be totally happy with you. Look at all your willing to do. You must love him otherwise why would you do all you do. Your relationship sounds one sided, meaning that you are the one doing all the work in the relationship and you should find someone that puts in equal effort.

As to the weight gain, I think as a trainer, I have met some women who don't think they will ever get a man so they quit trying to look good, then when their health was bad they decided to do something about it.

[Lula Belle]

Reading this thread has brought tears to my eyes- I am so amazed at your courage in discussing this issue, and your grace in listening to everyone's advice.

Please don't lose your courage, and listen to your good sense about this. Be your own avenger and protector and take care of yourself. You sound like a kind and gentle heart, and you should not settle for less than an abundantly happy life.