buddly im the same when i need to do things and i have a few dAYS OFF i always want to just rest or got other things on lol

I hope i sleep tonight as im sick of this now

Hey everyone....

Ug. So... life goes on, good things and bad. I haven't posted because I haven't had much to talk about. I did a really stupid thing, I joined a local weight loss challange and listed my weight at 150, the next day when I got on the scale it said 152 (it's my womanly time). I was ticked! I didn't want to record a gain but my starting weight was wrong I could have had them change it I suppose, but I was just so ticked off that I went up from 145. So I buckled down and managed to get it to 149 by the end of the week. So I celebrated It got a little out of hand. I ended up drunk on vodka paralizers (maybe 1000 calories each?) and I don't remember parts of the night It's been a long time since I've done that, and I only had 2 drinks, they were doubles though, so I guess it's not fair to say I only had 2. There were probably 4 shots of booze in each drink and I drank them really fast. When will I learn???? When I start drinking I have a tough time stopping, especially when I'm in a party mood. I end up blacking out and not remembering all the stupid stuff I do. I don't drink nearly as much as I used to... I really don't. This was the first time in a long time, but, do you think I have a problem? I don't have to have a drink or anything, I don't "need" it, but it's a worrying thought.

Buddly - We got dumped on hugely! We've set snow records for this month I think. Then it warmed up and everything started to melt, now it's raining! Crazy weather... I've never seen the roads so bad. I drove the husbands truck and fishtailed pretty badly on the way to work. It's a good thing I learned how to drive during the winter, I'm worried about my Step Daughter, she doesn't want to learn until summer.

Aunty Jam, IMO you dn't have a 'problem'. I would say if you did that more often you might need to think on it. But not if you hardly ever do it. Sorry that your weight jumped when you weren't expecting it!! and i applaud you at being so low anyway

ems81, my knee is better!! wohoo. I hope you are sleeping better

hey buddly You are dealing with a lot, with the medical issues with your daughter, I sure hope things turn out OK with her (and of course the other issue you have to deal with)

momof4, I hope you are doing well!

and Hi to everyone else

I had a WORTHLESS day today. My husband specifically took off from work, to match my day off; he said that we could go to motorcycle shops for me to 'test - sit' bikes...well I started thinking, why do I want to sit on brand new bikes that I have no intention of buying..I have never been a 'window shopper' person, I dont get pleasure out of gazing at things I can't buy. So...my reaction? spend ALL day in bed. Got up at 2 to eat a sandwich...back to bed. DH is being nice and telling me that I was just tired, I probably needed the rest. He NEVER addresses that it's my depression. I have to hope that tomorrow is better. I cant stop crying today.

Vermont - Thanks for your positive opinion! I couldn't stop thinking about it all night last night and it drove me crazy. Made me think I wanted a drink, yeesh. I cleaned my aquariums and walked the dog instead. I hope today is better for you. I understand not wanting to look at stuff you aren't going to buy... what's the point??? Just makes you want what you can't have! Have you ever tried to sit your husband down and tell him point blank that you're depressed? It sounds like he's in denial about the whole thing, if he accepts it maybe he could try to help you out with it.

Buddly - I hope you and your family get some answers from the MRI today. I heard on the radio this morning we got 60cm of snow so far this January (for the americans that's about 24 inches). The east coast is supposed to get hammered again later today, glad I'm not there!

Mom - Hope everyone is feeling better at your place.

Hi to everyone else...

Oh.. I forgot! I finally got myself a vehicle, a '97 GMC Jimmy with 4x4. Gggrrrr! It's powerful, has a lot of get up and go and it's my favorite colour for a car... maroon (but reddish, not to brown). It's older then I wanted (a lot) but it's in good shape and we couldn't turn it down for the price they were asking... You guys are not going to believe... $850 and it's got low mileage too, it's worth a lot more then that. We sold my car to a mechanic friend of mine who so far has it running... I was so frustrated with looking for a car at one point I asked him if he'd sell it back to us. I've wanted a SUV for a long time... I know they're bad on gass, ideally I wanted a hybrid but that's just out of the budget. I haul around people, dogs, agility equipment, walkers and sometimes wheelchairs. It'll be nice to have the extra space and not have to worry about the mess the dogs make in the back seat (they'll be in the way-back!).

Aunty Jam - congrats on your new boyfriend Jimmy! that WAS a great deal!!! and now you have all that room for hauling things. Thank goodness, sometimes things go right for us

lol @ wanting a drink to think over if you drink too much

thanks for the commiserating about me not wanting to window shop, and about DH. He definitely has a problem with my problem. Super-resistant to me wanting to talk to someone (even if we could afford it). I try to see it from a spouse's perspective..".hmm..my spouse seems miserable and doesn't think life is worth living..isn't that insulting to me??" yet I've tried and tried to tell him it is not him. Sigh!

Well today was better!!! My knee didn't hurt at All when I worked out, so that is great. And I'm trying to stick to good eating, but it will probably go to **** tomorrow when I'm back at work. The same ol' same ol...even if I pack a lunch, I'm not given the time to eat it; then I get TOO hungry and a hungry-headache, and get so angry and resentful, then go for the first multiple-hundred-calorie cookie. Damn him! (boss)

Hi and to everyone else.

hey girls my sleeping has been abitbetter but last night it was rubish I sts this week i was abit upset about that as i had been good and exercised My weight loss is so slow it is my 11th week doing ww but i did have a 3 week break over xmas as there was no meeting so only 8 wi and iv only lost 7lbs alot of people who have been doing less than that have lost more than me im starting to get disheartend

Hope your all well xxx

ems - I know how discouraging it is, to work hard and not see any progress..hang in there!! even if you don't see a difference on the scale, I'm sure there is good things happening in you..and each day is one day more on program

I am a little angry this morning, because I had to use DH's computer because I couldn't get mine to work..and on one of his tabs was a site of 'sexy beautiful women', we have been over this in the past..he says 'its normal for men to want to look' and all I can say is, how would you feel if I was visiting sites that had hot young in-shape guys??? I guess the feeling is hurt, more than angry.

Well I had an on-program day yesterday, and have started today out well also. Wish me luck in staying away from those damn cookies at work!

have a great day everyone

Thanks for the support Holly.

Id be angry if i found my bf looking at sites like that aswell xx

I think I probably knew, deep down, that he always does? but I think I'm okay as long as i don't know it. I still havent' confronted him yet about it, maybe today before I leave for work. At least it doesn't make me run to eat as something like this would have years ago.

Hi everybody....some may remember me from times gone by...hoping to reconnect!
xoLiz

Hope everything is ok holly let meknow how it goes keep your chin up xxx

Hi Liz and welcome back

ems81, I did speak to him about it, but I was very quiet and straight-forward about it, I just asked if he was interactive? if he posted and responded through it? He said no, 'just looking' and I hope that's right. He is very very good at always saying that I am a 'sexy hot mama' - well, I am not bad for 50 I guess but heck when you look at the perfect bodies of 20 yr olds

But I am almost over it .. what else can one do. Again I'm glad I didn't run and stuff myself as I used to do years ago.

are you sleeping OK?

and hi to everyone else.

Hi all!!

Hey Liz!! How are you? I've often wondered how you were doing.

Vermont I hope you and hubby straighten things out and congrats on not turning to food. Thats big

Aunty Jam congrats on the new to you truck, that sure was a good deal. Our streets have been a mess with the dump of snow and then the warm temps. We were -25*C this morning, but its suppose to go above freezing again in a few days.

Hope everyone else is doing alright.

Not much new here. DdC had her MRI we'll get the results in a few weeks. She is doing ok on the medication, she hasn't done the increase yet as she has had plans and didn't want to sleep through them while she gets use to the new dosage.

Take care everyone,
K

Hooly im glad you told him straight and yes you are a hot mama hehe Im glad you did not stuff your face when you felt down about this.

My sleeping is till rubbish but hopefully i can get a good sleep tonight xxx

Vermont - about your hubby not understanding your depression.. I don't think anyone who has never been depressed (or not seriously like us) can really understand what it is we're going through. I think you need to put yourself first and do what you know needs to be done.

Hi Liz... welcome back.

Buddly - I can understand your daughters reasons for not upping her meds yet. I knew someone on phenobarb for seizures and whenever he increased he would sleep all day. It's icky stuff. How are you holding up? It's freezing here too but supposed to get nicer starting tomorrow.

ems.. hope you get a good sleep.

I'm at work... and totally unmotivated, thinking about how I'd rather be doing anything else and how I have to get out of here. I gave hubby the ultimatium but I didn't say what the consequence would be. I haven't decided I guess. Actually I gave it to him almost a month ago now... I haven't seen any changes in his behaviour yet.