aunty jam-don't worry bout only venting your problems. We have ALL been there at the point our mess is soooo big we cant see anyone elses. That is perfectly ok and dont feel a bit bad about it. Thats what we are all here for!!!! I cant even imagine the stress and pressure your under. We just had to scrap our car but we were lucky enough to have our parents lend us money for a new car and then we pay them back with income tax. There are places to help for Christmas Im not sure in Canada what there is. It is a little late but it you could maybe call around? I feel awful that things are so bad for you. It should be a happy time of year and not so stressful or down. I agree you need to just go have a big cry. Then do what you can to find help but worrying and stressing your self out does not fix the problem it just wears on you physically. How many kids do you have? And how old?

Thanks guys... I appreciate the support & hugs.

We're mostly buying for nieces and nephews and there's no help for that. Hubby's daughter is 17, he's scratching together money to get her something. I can't convince him to return the gift he got for me, he says it's not much and not expensive. Unfortunately the only gift I could return for my Mom (I know she wouldn't mind) is only worth $10, not much point. I used to love christmas... it was my favorite time of the year. I used to love seeing people's face light up when they opened the gift I got them. Now I just want to crawl into a cave.

Hubby knows a guy who knows an "AWSOME" mechanic. The friend is convinced his friend can get my car to run. I'm not holding my breath. The hubby's 4x4 club has invaided our garage several times this past week and they can't get it going so I don't know what this guy is supposed to do. But he's coming over tonight.

Aunty Jam - i feel BAD because I did type out a response right away after your post of the 13th but it didn't go through. But it was with huge sympathy and commiserating, that when you have car woes everything sucks!! and that you shouldn't worry about what office people are thinking, they don't need to know if you don't want to tell.

Our only saving grace is our savings well our 401K, that we get penalized big time for withdrawing but we just had to.

I was thinking back about 15 or so years ago, husband had a great paying position, we had health AND dental insurance (and the 401K that is saving us now) We had enough that we 'adopted' a family each CHristmas and spent close to $400 on them..now our position has changed so much...isn't one's financial position supposed to GET BETTER as you get older?!?

Transference - little victories ARE great!! Are the cakey sweets stuff that people bring into an office, or do you work food service like me?

Purplefirefly - I have been doing much better mood-wise, and I do not feel at all like crawling back to bed today, yay! But I did on Monday, for as long as I could. It is crazy (oops, not a good word here, lol) for my moods to change so quickly. But as long as they change for the better, that is positive.

momof4- is your flu bug gone? I hope so!

i had maybe 3 days on plan, then had a bad cookie at work on the fourth day. Not awful but still too many calories for me to lose, let alone maintain.
well as always I will keep trying.

my exercise today was 15 minutes of cardio, then 45 minutes of strength.

HUGS to everyone.

Yes the flu bug seems to be gone...everyone here seems to be doing well. Today is my first borns 8th birthday and oh my he is fullllllll of it today. Took them out to eat 5 of the kids and of course the older boys were worse than the younger ones...sigh...

Hey everyone I am so lucky, i have had 2 great days off, and have been really motivated and super busy finding things to do here. Not a thought about crawling into bed and pulling the covers up to hide. Yay.

This is what I did yesterday


and


the garbage/recycling man was the first to get a little bag of goodies, and a $20 bill. I really thought hard about the tip, I was thinking of 'gas in car, towards Christmas gifts' etc.; but it came down to, I would sure like it if someone randomly gave ME $20 for good service, so I did give it to him in a card with the treats.

I have taken your advice and joined this thread.
My back problem is very much worse at the moment and the pain is driving me bananas. I am so depressed at the thought that I may not get over to see my daughter and family this Xmas with this bad weather and the thought of spending xmas on my own is just the last straw. I really want to scream the roof off!! And to cap it all I am not sticking to my diet because I am soo feduo and depressed. I get to the point where I feel - WHO CARES!!!!

Hi emaline, welcome I'm sorry you're in such pain with your back!

Hi, everyone! I'm yet another new person.

This board was the biggest reason I joined this forum, actually--I was searching for tips on how to fight depression's affect on weight when I came across it. I feel like I can relate to a whole lot of you, which is nice. Like a lot of you, I tend to start diets or weight loss plans or healthier lifestyles or whatever, do very well for a week or two, have one bad day, and lose all confidence in myself. The cycle is maddening.

I've been on an anti-depressant and an anti-anxiety for about a year now. I'd wanted to avoid them at all costs, but I started college last year and that brought out the worst bout of depression I'd experienced. I could barely function. While the pills definitely helped at first, they seem to have kicked out, and the therapist I've started seeing suspects I might have bipolar II rather than just unipolar depression. Anyway, diagnoses are complicated and I still don't know what's going on there, which is frustrating in its own right, but I have to keep reminding myself that I'm at least getting help. It just feels so predictable, you know? These cycles of motivation and depression...

Purplefirefly--I totally see where you're coming from about staying in bed until some external force (your kids) causes you to panic and get overdue work done. Most of the time I feel like I'm just scraping by at whatever task I'm trying to achieve :/

AuntyJam I hope that things get better for you. I am not really good at solving my own problems so no real advice. Just virtual 'hugs' .



emaline - likewise, hope that your back starts to feel better.

Vermont Mom : woohoo on the exercise!

Wow, there are so many new people and so many things to respond to that I don't know where to start. But even if I did I have to get in bed or I won't make it tomorrow.

I'm still extremely busy with both jobs and I've had several work/xmas get togethers to attend and cook for. Today I had made a chocolate raspberry cake for a girl at work and tonight after working from 8am till 9pm I made a giant pasta salad for a pot luck tomorrow. It seems like it has been like this for the past couple of weeks. If you don't believe me just check the size of my a$$ for evidence. I am as bloated as I can get.

Having said that I don't want to seem like I'm complaining. I'm grateful to have work and friend's to cook for.

Vermont, I think that it's so awesome that you gave the the guy that tip. I'm sure you made his day. We've both worked for tips so you know how a good tip can make your day. I can't see your pictures though. I'm just seeing a box with an 'X' in it.

I'll try to do better with posting. I am reading and I know how much some of ou are struggling. Hang in there.

OK sooo holidays is keeping me busy....

For those of you who remember a year ago I was going to try out for biggest loser and did a video...Well it took me months to do the taping and get it submitted. When I submitted it I put it in at the end of the search for that season. Well the next one was couples and I was trying to do it on my own...well a big FAIL! SO SO SO i decided one last shot...if it doesnt work it doesnt work. They are just now starting to look for the next season. so I just finished up a whole bunch of clips with one of my youth. Last time I was too embarrassed to let any of them in...well im glad I did this time because we came up with some great videos....once I get it together and uploaded on youtube I will post it here for you guys to watch and COMMENT...lol!!

Its worth one last shot....I think I have a lot to offer with all the things I do...they usually only have a mom on there or a youth pastor or a teacher...well I am ALL in ONE
Mother, homeschool mother, foster mother, youth pastor, drama coach, piano teacher....everything! So wish me luck!! Two people I am friends with thru facebook made it on this season coming up (11)!!! I put myself out there in this video and gave it my all and will have it turned in before christmas soooo if it dont work its not meant to be!!!

Ok thats it on this end
Hope everyone is making it!!! Vermont can I be your trash man?? LOL! Your such a nice person!!!

I was off today and needed to get a lot of cleaning done so what did I do? Nap. Why is the urge to nap so great? I got the kitchen table cleaned off and then needed to work on the guest bedroom since we're getting a house sitter for the dogs when I go to mom's for Xmas. I go upstairs and just end up in my own bed and going to sleep for 2 1/2 hrs. I have to say that it was so nice but not what I needed to do.

Tonight was fun though. Five of my friend's went a fondue restaurant and it was really nice. I'm stuffed, the food was great. It's nice to have a girl's night once and a while.

Mom, I can't wait to see your video. It would be so awesome if you were chosen.

Welcome to all the new people! How is everyone doing this weekend?

momof4, yes we would love to see your vid, and you know we would be for you to be chosen!

hope4me, oh gosh don't I know the pull of the bed when I should be doing something else. But you did clean off your kitchen table

and I guess 'what goes around, comes around'...- remember me being cheap thinking about not giving the trash guy the $20 tip? well last night we met with 2 of our biker friends...they are members of our biking website as well as actually living close to us (our other members are either in New England, East Coast or Ohio area)

well they give us an envelope...it was a collection they took up with our biker friends ...wow...in the past DH and I have contributed when we learned of folks in a hard time...this time WE were the recipients. Along with what I have already paid, it is almost enough to cover the local hospital bill (the people who are such #%&*@ to us) so that is a BIG BIG pinch relieved!!!

I know bikers have the rep of being scary (I admit, we look scary with our black leather and chrome skulls ) but talk about generous. I have been thinking for weeks that 'something good MUST happen soon' and here it is.

Everyone has ups and downs in life, we have been really lucky so far to not have much of downs; and when we are back up on our feet we are sure going to 'pay it forward'.

Silentartic - Thanks... the sentiment is appreciated, I don't expect anyone to be able to solve my problems for me so no worries.

Vermont - Nice! I'm glad they helped you out, it couldn't have happened to nicer people. Hubby and his brother have some association with bikers, I think the funniest thing I've ever seen is a huge bad biker man playing with his 6 month old daughter. He was just thrilled he could make her laugh.

Mom - Good luck to you, let us know how it goes.

I've been really up and down again... still don't have a car but hubby is part of a 4x4 club and one other other guys is the financial boss and small part owner of a few small dealerships in the city. He told hubby if we wanted to trade in our truck he'd pay off the what we owe to the bank, extend our loan a bit, fudge some numbers and get hubby and I into two decent vehicles. It means we're further in debt for a longer time but it gets rid of that stupid truck (we owe more then it's worth). It's such a gas guzzler, it's just to bad taht hubby loves it so much. He says he knows he has to give it up, we just need 2 cars I work so far away from home and I take my mom out everywhere since she can't drive. When he gets a job he's not going to be able to drive me to work anyway and public transport in this town sucks bad.

I've been doing some thinking... I'm thinking after the new year I might give him a 3 month ultimatum. That would be right about 2 years since he got laid off, I think I've been very patient. I can't decide if I want to do this or not. I know he wouldn't pay back a cent of what he owes my family if we broke up and I don't really want to lose him over this... but I just can't stand it.

Hi everyone,
Just popping in to let you know I'm still all living.

Welcome all the newbies. This is a wonderful place and I look forward to getting to know you all better.

Mom I look forward to seeing your new video. Fingers crossed!!

Vermont that was a wonderful gift you received.

aunty jam I hope your hubby's buddy can fix you up with something, car wise. We live out of town and need reliable vehicles as well, there are no other options. And giving him an ultimatum may be just what he needs, but you will know best. Its so hard to know what to do.

Hope the fondue sounds wonderful. And I think you probably needed the rest.

Emaline I'm so sorry to hear about you back pain. It is so hard to do anything when you are in chronic pain I wish I had a helpful suggestion.

Eurydice thats good you are getting help. I resisted meds for a long time as well and tried the natural route, but when you find the right combination it sure makes a big difference in life.

Well not much has changed here. Just going day by day. My counselor told me to focus on self care right now. The girls seem to be dealing. He's been out of town, so that has been good. I'm having problems concentrating and focusing so of course trying to prepare for this Christmas thing is a bit of a joke. Thankfully the girls are using Christmas as a distraction so they are helping and doing a lot on their own. DdC and I go in on Wed to see the neurologist so we should finally have an answer and hopefully get her on meds.

I should go and put on another Christmas movie and get decorating some gingerbread men.

Take care everyone,
K