[Nightmare]

It's just not my day today. In fact, I'm in such a state of mind that I debated even getting online for fear that I'd just write and blurp it all out. But, alas, I'm here.

Ya' know, I'm trying and trying and trying to get the weight off and I go up a few pounds, then down a few pounds and it goes on and on and on like this.
I don't know if it's the meds. that I'm on that is hindering my weight loss. I don't know if it's the lack of good sleep that is hindering my weight loss. I don't know if it is just overall stress that is hindering my weight loss.
All I DO KNOW.......is that I'm quite fed up with trying to get the weight off and trying to stay in this loveless marriage for the sake of my kids.

I'M JUST FED UP.

To add to my mood, or maybe it has something to do with my mood, but it's my wedding anniversary (which by the way, I HAVE NEVER celebrated) of 25 years.

Perhaps tomorrow will be a brighter day. But for today, it sucks.

Anyway, thanks for listening. Sometimes it's just venting that is the medicine. I even kicked out my dear husband and dear son and told them to go out to eat and go play somewhere. So that I could just be alone......for once. Hopefully the solitude might help the mood.

THANKS
KELLI

As I'm sitting here, I looked out the sliding glass door to see a mother and her two little baby deer. Aww, that helped the mood. I just have to keep an eye on them to make certain that don't start nibbling my vegetable garden.

[beerab]

I'm sorry for all you are going through- I will say though my parents stayed married for 24 miserable years "for the kids" and I hated every minute of it as a child because I knew they didn't love each other. I don't even speak to my father anymore and a part of me thinks that I might still have a relationship with him if my parents had just went there seperate ways.

You know what's interesting is I recently found out that a lot of people have vitamin D deficiency and it gets mislabeled as depression because the doctor's don't know what's wrong. I'm not saying you aren't depressed but low vitamin D levels cause you to not sleep at night. I'd ask your doctor to have your vitamin D levels checked and if they are below 45 to 50 ng then you should be prescribed with high doses of vitamin D and have your blood checked every few months till the level is normal. Then after that continue with a multivitamin.

Sorry it's just something I recently learned after finding out I'm also D deficient!

[basketcase]

Hugs.

[sonickel77]

Wow. I grew up as a kid in one of those loveless marriages. My parents slept opposite sides of the house. When they weren't fighting horribly, they ignored each other in terse silence. I swear I only saw my parents kiss 4 times in my life. 3 times I could tell my Dad was only kissing Mum out of pity, and for show.

It would have been better if they'd split up, but Mum is severely bipolar, gets violent and neglectful. We would have been taken into care if Dad had left.

Hope your situation improves, Kelli.