Quote:
Originally Posted by Havisham
Hey, again,
First - if that's you in the pic, you look amazing, and fat is definitely not the first word that comes to mind. 
Second, seems to me your boyfriend has his head screwed on. He wants to work full time, at whatever he can get, because he feels he has a responsibility to himself and his life. How could that ever not be good enough? I have a friend who's been married like 16 years and her husband has worked for less than five of them...not because he can't, but because he doesn't want to. He thinks everything is beneath him and the world should come to him....and this is a guy who barely graduated high school, and has no marketable skills. She's been supporting him, running her own business, and employing her whole family at it since they met. He stays home and watches tv and plays computer games...he even *****es if she asks him to pick the kids up. He does nothing in the house - literally nothing. Sounds to me like your boyfriend is a worker, who'll always do his best for you and the family you may have. And he deserves kudos for taking a job that maybe isn't what he wants to do, but it's what he can get. That makes him a great guy.
I know that your family only wants the very best for you - and it's just unfortunate that they think that's someone with education and money. Maybe point out that lots of men with lots of education also have lots of student debt! I have no doubt that once they see that this man makes you happy, and as your life goes by, that he takes care of you and your future family, they will eventually accept him. Just give them time (and trust) to see what you see in him.
I think you'd be depressed and extremely unhappy if you accepted what your parents are trying to force on you...life is too short. They love you - they'll come around.
Hang in and PM any time you want to chat!  |
Wow thanks a lot every one. You guys are so great. Its just so hard to believe that people who you hardly know will take the time to share your stress.
I want to thank you all from the bottom of my heart . THANKS.
Hey Havisham,
first of thanks for the great advice. WHat you are saying is definitely sensible. I know what you mean by guys not wanting to work because they think the job is below them. My dad is a great example... he hates his job even tho it pays great and that is probably the only thing he can get here. He ACTUALLY KEEPS on throwing tantrum and saying I am done I will go back to India you guys can stay here. When he was the one who made the decision to come here in the first place.
Someone I know -- a girl -- Indian girl-- is married this guy who her family picked out from INDIA -- he was an engineer there. But here obviously the degree doesn't match up and so he has not worked in the 2 or 3 years they have been married. She lives with her parents with him. In our culture its a huge shame for the guy if he lives with his inlaws. And he doesnt work. On top of that he throws tantrum. He disrespects her parents and they listen because guess what their daighter is marrie dto him and in a way the girls family is subordinate -- because the guy can leave but if the girl is divorced she will be shamed. Anyhow. --
SO I know 1 think my bf will never look to my family for a single penny. Plus he will never disrespect them. He is the kinda guy who can listen to someone talking for hours and give no response or fight back. Opposite of me.
Oh and yeah that picture is me. thank You so much. But i definitely do need to lose weight. I was comparing my pics from 2007 when I was like 150. And I looked so much better. I ripped one of my tops that i bought back in the days by just trying to put it on.
lol.
