Ok..this is going to sound really dysfunctional but my ex fiancee now boyfriend lol.. * I broke up with him about 9 months ago and now were are working it out*

Anyways.. he is 6'4 and 198lbs.. here I am 5'4 and 160 lbs lol.. he follows my eatting patterns so I have too be like no baby.. you HAVE to eat MORE because hes trying to gain while I am trying to lose, but we eat healthy so he has to eat more healthy stuff so he can gain.. its hilarious.. but arent we just the cutest? This picture was actually Jan of 06 but we havent changed much

dang.. lol big pic.. my bad hehe.. and I even have on heels in this picture.. I love it though because despite the fact that hes thin.. he makes me feel little

mine is. i think we weigh the same and im like a whole foot shorter. gross i know . but im trying. he has never said anything though. he motivates me because i want to . but if i say i want a burger he's the first to scarf one down with me. he reminds me weight isnt anything in life and not to take it too seriously. he loves me no matter what , i think i just dont love myself enough sometimes. im the chubby one and he's more worried about someone hitting on me . so that makes me feel good. i got a keeper too. P.s it used to bother me a lot , i mean a lot . his family used to call us tamon and pumba . guess who i was.

Ready, you guys are such a cute couple!

It's a little different for me since I date women, but my g/f is thin as a rail, and it makes me very self-conscious. She's gorgeous and she's naturally built like that, but I'm still jealous!

I've dated men in the past and they've been smaller than me, too. ****, it's not too hard to be smaller than I am!

My husband is 6'2" and his weight fluctuates between 190-210. He is at my goal weight!!! LOL He weighed about 160 when I met him 6 years ago... he was too skinny, but I fed him well and he started working some hard labor jobs and built up muscle. He's pretty solid, but not very toned; right now he seems to be working on building his beer gut, which worries me... but he has a long way to go to be "fat"

This is such a hard topic for me - hard to even write about here. I've been married 12.5 years to a man who is very attractive - even though he has put on about 30lbs since we married, it seems to work for him. Me? I've put on 100lbs since we married. Depression? You bet. Low self-esteem? Every day.

BUT - my husband does NOT love me like this. He HATES it. He doesn't speak out much about it anymore (he used to, believe me) but neither is he attracted to me. I've tried to lose weight, and I've lost some and gained it again... and again... and again!

This time - I have other reasons to keep at it. My marriage may not last, but by god, I am going to like myself - I AM! (I'm going to keep telling myself that until *I* believe it!!)

Big hugs, honey -
Heather

I was very overweight in high school and didn't have my first boyfriend until my freshman year in college. That didn't go so well, but I didn't have that relationship model to fall back on. I lost alot of weight when I was with the first guy, but my self-esteem was so low I thought that it was how I deserved to be treated. Inside, I still saw myself as someone unworthy of love. Fast forward nine years or so, and I was still having that problem.

Just since last October or so, I've been able to concentrate on what I want and who I am. I have come up with the "icing on the cake theory." The cake in and of itself is enough - it's completely wonderful on its own. My life is fulfilling enough to stand on its own. Anything else, well ...that's just icing on the cake !

Your husband is being an idiot. If he was concerned about the health risks of being overweight and helped you work toward your goal ... that's one thing. But after putting thirty pounds on himself and then chiding you for "letting yourself go (I HATE THAT PHRASE!!!), he needs to stop throwing stones at glass houses.

Ultimately, are you better off with him or without him ????

My fiance is about 6'3" and 130 pounds. He is soo skinny! And the worst part is he can eat anything. He ate a whole bag of those deep fried tacos from Jack in the Box and a milk shake last night, after we already had dinner. If I ate even half of that I would be as big as an ox the next morning. Ha.
The worst part is he's really had a negative effect on my eating habits because he eats all this junk and it doesn't do anything to his weight, so then I eat it too.
I am determined this time to change my eating habits, but it's hard because he hates eating anything even remotely healthy. Not that I don't.
But anyway, your original post about skinny husbands was right on for my situation...

I don't how my boy does it -- it seems like he eats triple what I do, we're the same height, and he's at least 40 lbs less. (And somehow, despite that desk job, SOLID muscle.) The first few months we were together I gained weight, partially because of his cooking (and portion!) habits. I keep explaining to him now that it's physiology 101 -- I CAN'T eat like a guy, and I don't need to.

We got into an argument a few weeks ago because he says "calories in vs. calories out" isn't true and that, and I quote, "calories don't matter" and won't make you gain weight, so long as you eat healthily. He's incredibly smart and yet sometimes so ignorant. His super-fast metabolism + clean eating habits means he's never had to do any reading on the subject, so I guess I forgive him. I'm having a harder time forgiving him for being able to lose that 10 lbs of stomach pudge in a couple weeks without any serious effort though.

Read this and don't be too hard on yourself.

Even before I married my husband, I joked that my ideal marriage would include His/Hers duplex (I was 35 and still single when we met). Funny thing, is it's sounding like a good idea again.

I have to admit that we have been bad influences on each other (he began to exercise less like me, and I began to eat crappier like him).

For general psychological support, I couldn't be happier. The reason I had such a hard time finding "Mr. Right," was that most of the guys who were attracted to me, were really only attracted to fat girls. I didn't want to be in the same boat as the women whose husbands can't accept a weight gain, and have a husband who couldn't accept my weight loss. I finally found my "fat prince," who found me sexy fat, but wasn't turned off by my wanting to lose weight.

I am not particularly attracted to "fat men," in general (as in, it's not my preferred body type), and my husband isn't particulary attracted to "fat women," but we find each other incredibly attractive (we liked each other, but weren't hot and heavy from the start, that had to develop as we got to know each other).

I think it proves that sexual attraction is often more flexible than we assume, though some people may see we were able to be so open-minded, because as they say, "beggars can't be choosers," but I disagree (I was pretty choosy, sometimes too choosy as for a long time any man's interest in me, was reason enough for me NOT to be interested in him - and I didn't even bother to check if he was also attracted to thin women as well as me).

Ramble, ramble, ramble. Well, I think if you dig, you might find a point in all of this mess I've written, but for the life of me, I've lost track of it.

Haha. I used to work with a woman a long time ago whose husband was a home builder and they had a huge tract of land for her horses. They ended up building a second house on part of it with a little walkway connecting them and her husband moved out there. She was always joking about how the ideal marriage is one where your husband lives next door.

Christina

Thanks for the kind words, perspective

I'm just trying to focus on me. (not easy after a lifetime of not saying 'no', is it?) LOL!

Heather

Kaplods, I'm totally with you. It'd frustrate me when I'd meet the guy who liked "big girls". Uhh yeah ok bud, I'm not planning on staying this way. I was also pretty picky and I've only dated a couple guys long term because I used to screen them out pretty fast. Anyway, I am pretty independant and I just got married so it has taken a lot of adjusting in the time from when we lived together and now our married life. Anyway, I think men should support you and they should understand that we may struggle with our weight from time to time. My DH is one of the most understanding guys I know in this area.

Heather - I do hope you figure things out and I do wish you the best.

Yep, MY husband and daughter both are skinny. I hate the looks we get (or rather I imagine we get) when Fat mommy and the Skinnies go out to eat.

I still remember so vividly calling my mom 9 yrs ago to tell her about a DR appt. when the pediatrician was talking about how my daughter was on the low side for weight (she was very healthy so it was not an issue at all!) and my mom said "Well Starla, The DR probably looked at how big you are and firgured you ate all her food" I cried so hard and so long over that. At that time I was only about 15 lbs over weight too. *sigh* I had Post Partum depression really bad and that just pushed me over the edge *over eating* That was when my weight really went up. I went on Anti depressants but neglected to read the fine print that said weight gain might be a side effect So after gaining 30 lbs in 1 month I came off those. So depressing.

Hmm now how did I spin this post out of control??

Umm, YES I have a skinny hubby