What are some of your "lows" as a binge eater/COE?
I would never share these with anyone else, but I feel comfortable here knowing you girls know what it is like (I still can't believe I'm not the only one!). So what are some of the lowest things you have done because of your ED? here are some of mine:
-getting food out of the trash (my family's leftovers)
-stealing food from someone else without them knowing
-stealing food from the store
-going to more than one fast food place at one time and eating it all
-eating out of someone elses (family again) take out food and making it look like it hadn't been touched
-eating someone elses food or food that is in the kitchen and making up a reason why you "threw it away" ("there were bugs on it")
-binging, or eating something, and then when someone else asks if I've eaten yet I say "no" just so that I can eat again with that person(s)
-Hiding food
wow I'm really messed up but this helps me to see how low I can get and maybe I can realize that I need to change all this. it looks really bad written down. Also some things I have to do to prevent binges is buy my food one day at a time. I can't go to the store and "stock up" on groceries because I'll eat it all in a day . I noticed I am getting better at that though. this is my ninth day binge free.
well ladies if you have anything to share...feel free!
Gosh you opened up the flood gates!! I had forgotten some of the things I used to do . . . I have definitely made progress.
*Stealing my parents' debit card to buy food
*Stealing cash out of my mom's purse to buy food
*Stole food from the preschool I worked at
*Stole food from my coworkers (in our community fridge)
*Stole candy (mostly) from grocery store (this was just a couple of years ago but I did steal a lot of food when I was a kid)
*Getting food from the trash (sometimes I threw it away, sometimes others had thrown it away. Anyone remember the George Costanza and the eclair fiasco!!? hee hee so funny)
*Secretly eating my nephews' and niece's halloween/easter candy
And I think the low of the LOWEST point was getting to over 300 pounds!!!!
I can't stock up on food either. I actually keep food around that I have somewhat of a distaste for so I won't binge on it. And there are absolutely NO sweets. No 100 calorie packs either. Everyone raves about them, but I never bought any because I know they'd be devoured within minutes. I especially have to buy fruit one or two at a time or I'll eat it all. Sometimes I will buy a pint of strawberries or a cantaloupe knowing I'll finish every bite, but that's rare.
You know, I had forgotten stealing money from my mom to go buy fast food. Now I remember how much I felt like a addict doing that. I forgot about that feeling of sheer desperation. I watch a show called 'Intervention' that profiles addicts of all kinds, and many of them were stealing money from their loved ones. And then there is that commercial about drug abuse where the girl is stealing money from her grandmother. I think this is why eating disorders are so misunderstood. No one thinks we get as desperate for a "fix" as a drug addict does, but it goes to show you how similar the addictions can be.
You know, I had forgotten stealing money from my mom to go buy fast food. Now I remember how much I felt like a addict doing that. I forgot about that feeling of sheer desperation. I watch a show called 'Intervention' that profiles addicts of all kinds, and many of them were stealing money from their loved ones. And then there is that commercial about drug abuse where the girl is stealing money from her grandmother. I think this is why eating disorders are so misunderstood. No one thinks we get as desperate for a "fix" as a drug addict does, but it goes to show you how similar the addictions can be.
I know exactly what you mean. I know I am an addict, but it's hard to explain that to anyone. there is a huge amount of shame there, it's like if I'd be less ashamed to admit a drug addiction rather than food. if we do these desperate things just to get our "fix" then we are definitely addicts. it's just so hard because it's not like it's something we can quit cold turkey. I have been making progress too. oh yeah candy/chocolate is what I stole from the store too, I think that is the only thing I steal from stores (it's the easiest). and you reminded me of another one when you said you'd take eastercandy from your neices and nephews. I did something similar. we had a pinata that we didn't use for my nephew so it was stored away for another time. Well I went in there every chance I got and took chocolate out of it and eating it all. I think I probably emptied out half the thing. I wonder if my sister noticed and what she thought
the only things I buy in bulk are frozen veggies, fish and chicken. I've done the 100 calorie pack things and probably wont again. I eat the whole thing.
I am so glad to know I'm not the only one desperate and addicted...
I'm not sharing much, although I am much the same as all of you. My worst was one month when I rode along with my husband. (He's a truck driver) and I made him hold me accountable for EVERYTHING I put in my mouth. I was certain I was going to beat this that month.
But I was so craving a binge that I'd sneak out while he was filling the truck with gas and I would buy a burger from whatever fast food place was in the truckstop and run and hide in the bathroom and eat it. I was so ashamed of myself for doing that... but I was so addicted to food.
I can't have hardly any food in the house or I will eat it. I go grocery shopping daily and buy exactly what I need to make my meal and nothing more.
When I was in school a few years ago, I had about a ten minute walk to my bus stop. And just about every day, I would stop at CVS and buy myself a snack or two (usually single serving Little Debbie's). By itself, that was pretty bad. But here's the truly awful part: I was too ashamed to eat in public, so I would stop at the public library, head for the bathroom, and eat my snacks there. Sitting on a public toilet and stuffing snack cakes in my mouth so that I wouldn't be hungry during the thirty minute ride home - now that was a low point.
getting food out of the trash (my family's leftovers) check
going to more than one fast food place at one time and eating it allcheck
eating out of someone elses (family again) take out food and making it look like it hadn't been touchedcheck
eating someone elses food or food that is in the kitchen and making up a reason why you "threw it away" ("there were bugs on it")check
binging, or eating something, and then when someone else asks if I've eaten yet I say "no" just so that I can eat again with that person(s)check
Hiding foodcheck
Getting food from the trash (sometimes I threw it away, sometimes others had thrown it away. Anyone remember the George Costanza and the eclair fiasco!!? hee hee so funny)check
Sitting on a public toilet and stuffing snack cakes in my mouth so that I wouldn't be hungry during the thirty minute ride home - now that was a low point.
-eating food out of the trash
-stealing my roommates food
-having my credit card be declined while buying binge food
-the looks i get from the checkers also while buying binge food
-people mentioning my weird eating habits (i don't eat much around other people because it makes me uncomfortable, but then not eating triggers a binge or a b/p. which is why i have gained 1/2 a person ) some have the audacity to say that it's uncanny how they never see me eat at meal times and yet, i'm overweight.
my absolute lowest:
one night a few months ago, i was having a b/p in my dorm room because i thought my roommate was going to be out for the night. long story short, she walked in on me bent over my trashcan and empty wrappers/containers strewn everywhere. i will never forget the look on her face nor the shame i felt at that moment.
one night a few months ago, i was having a b/p in my dorm room because i thought my roommate was going to be out for the night. long story short, she walked in on me bent over my trashcan and empty wrappers/containers strewn everywhere. i will never forget the look on her face nor the shame i felt at that moment.
Welcome to the boards!! Please post on the other threads as well!! We adore newbies, but so many of them unfortunately are "one hit posters"
I count my lucky stars no one has ever caught me bingeing or purging. I'd be so ashamed. Actually I feel shame whether or not anyone is around anyway.
Hide food eat it so quickly so that no one will see.
Scarf food down in the bathroom
Throw something away in the garbage at the moment I'm saying to myself why am I eating, toss it out. Than after awhile you can't stop thinking about it and go back for it.
I'm so glad to have found the 3FC site. You do things and you try to keep it secret and usually have no one esle to tell what you have done.
I can come here tell all of you and you understand what I've been going through. What a weigh off my shoulders this is.
Well, I read the thread a few days ago, but I really hesitated with posting....
But I think I have to remember some of my lowest points to prevent me from relapsing so much.
So, here I go: -getting food out of the trash Did that. In a big way.
-stealing food from someone else without them knowing. yes, did that too.
I was so ashamed a lot of times when we had visitors at our house and my mother bought special food, most times it was a dessert. I ate it all, and when the time came and she wanted to serve it to the visitors, it was always "Oh, Kate ate it all.". It happened so often that in the end it was "I would offer you a dessert- if Kate left any leftovers" -going to more than one fast food place at one time and eating it all
I had a bulimic friend- we were driving from Fast- food place to fast food place most nights. -eating out of someone elses (family again) take out food and making it look like it hadn't been touched Yes- but mostly the option to make it look like it hadnīt been touched wasnīt there. The food was gone. -eating someone elses food or food that is in the kitchen and making up a reason why you "threw it away" ("there were bugs on it") Or my favorite excuse: You never bought that! -binging, or eating something, and then when someone else asks if I've eaten yet I say "no" just so that I can eat again with that person(s)Ok, did that too. -Hiding food Hiding food- my hobby for so many years... - running to the supermarket to buy binge food- but lying about the reason you go - behaving like a junkie in the need of a fix - donīt visit the doctor (even if you had to go) because you had to lose weight and couldnīt because of your binges
- eating frozen food because you canīt wait - having sore muscles on the stomach from purging
- Stealing bread from my grandmother
- Eating an entire giant Hershey Kiss the size of a softball
- Eating a whole box (yes a WHOLE box) of those little xmas oranges
- Eating food frozen because I couldn't be bothered to wait 5 minutes to heat it up in the microwave
- Hiding food in my purse to eat at my friends' houses when I go over there
- Spending disgusting amounts of cash on food
- Stealing food from my old job (working in a cafe)
These incidents are actually pretty funny to look back on, but I do remember how gross they made me feel.
Last edited by BelleDeJour; 05-10-2006 at 06:18 PM.
* ordering pizza eating the whole thing
* locking public bathroom doors because i clogged the toilet.
* chowing down on numerous orders of fast food.
* blaming thie missing pie on the dog. (sorry Cody)
* pretended to have the flu.
What are some of your "lows" as a binge eater/COE?
but this helps me to see how low I can get and maybe I can realize that I need to change all this. it looks really bad written down. Also some things I have to do to prevent binges is buy my food one day at a time. I can't go to the store and "stock up" on groceries because I'll eat it all in a day 
(sorry Cody)