New here, hello to everybody! - 3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community

Kate109 · 04-29-2006, 07:21 AM

Well, I finally got the courage to register and post...I am glad I found that board last week! I am reading the post since several days, but I hestitated with posting- but I here I go.
I am in my midth twenties and I am struggeling with my ED since 12 years. For years my life was just bingeing and starving. That changed now, since two years or so it´s just bingeing. Doesn´t make anything better, I think.

Sometimes I think that it´s impossible for me to "eat normal" because Food and the amount of food I am allowed to eat was ALWAYS a huge topic for me. I made my first diet with 6 years, so nearly 20 years of trying to lose weight, gain weight, lose weight...
It seems to me that I lost so many years of my life because of that! I am consuming to much food and food consumes my life

A few years ago my binges weren´t enough to keep my calm and my emotions under control, I stopped the binges and started drinking alcohol and taking pills. Being a very addictive person, I ended being alcoholic....I am sober for 2 years and six month (

) and I still visit AA-meetings from time to time.

I suffer from depressions, too. And I have a very hard time concentrating...and my self- esteem is an an all-time-low...

But life can´t go on like that- ok, I know it could go on for years like that, but I don´t want that.
I am really feed up and tired. Tired of being the fat girl with the nice face without a boyfriend, tired of getting unwanted diet tips from more or less strangers, tired of feeling ashamed for my body, tired of spending to much time per day to find an outfits that fits and doesn´t make me look fat, tired of secretly buying high amounts of food and eat them in secret...

Ok, that´s pathetic, but at the moment I die I don´t want to look back and realize that my life was just food and diets. I WANT A REAL LIFE!

I started about a week ago with cooking more healthy meals and eating less sweats/sugar. And I started exercising (walking). All in all, I try to start working on the problem- somehow

I am sorry for mistakes in grammar, words etc., but English is not my native tongue

- and I am sorry for my long and rambling post

justjodi · 04-29-2006, 08:26 AM

welcome kate!!
congrats on your sobriety! there is so much support in here i hope you come back and post often! sounds like you are making a lot of positive changes. i understand your idea about wanting to eat like a normal person, i struggle with this alot it is one of my goals also. looking forward to getting to know you!

ellis · 04-29-2006, 10:34 AM

Kate, welcome!!

Everything you said I can relate to. I (and a few others here, I think) suffer from depression, too. And I think that many of us can relate to the addictive behaviour.

You sound as though you're really ready to make positive changes in your life (and you're already doing it!). Please post here often... there's so much great support.
We have an exercise thread if you're interested in joining that, too! http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/showthread.php?t=80494
We'll be starting a new exercise "challenge" in May, so please jump right in!!

Your English is excellent, by the way!!

dalai_lala · 04-29-2006, 11:00 AM

Hi Kate, and welcome! Congratulations on getting started, on coming here (the greatest virtual place on earth), and especially on the lengthy sobriety. You can do this!

I can relate well to the secret eating and total strangers giving me diet tips. Once a hair stylist started lecturing me about diet while she was cutting my hair and I was stuck there in the chair. I was so mad! I never went to that salon again...

Good luck and keep posting!

-Lala

HarpoChicoGroucho · 04-29-2006, 03:09 PM

Willkommen zur Gruppe!!!! (No I don't speak German, I looked it up).

Congratulations on your sobreity!! You've already won one tough battle, so you know you have it in you to win this one too!!

Good luck!!!!

Kate109 · 04-30-2006, 06:39 AM

Thanks for the warm welcome!

Little update: I had more or less no binge yesterday and I was walking this morning. For one (1) hour!

Maybe I will write more later this day.
I will be alone at home this afternoon/night, and this is always the critical binge- time for me, so maybe it´s better to bore you all a little bit with my thoughts and problems......

I am willing to join the new May- Workout- Challenge- is there a new thread or is it in the April- thread?

Have a nice Sunday

Kate

ellis · 04-30-2006, 09:45 AM

Kate, you're doing so well... congratulations!!

We are quite willing to read boring posts if it will stop you from binging.

I'm going (or someone else can, if they wish) to start a new exercise thread tomorrow. It'll be titled, "May Exercise Challenge", or something to that effect.
We're not competing or anything... just challenging ourselves to do more. Please join us... we'd love to have you!

mommyof1 · 05-03-2006, 06:43 PM

Welcome. I just read your post and that is so true. I dont wanna look back at my life and realize it was just about dieting and my food addiction. I also want a REAL LiFE. Just take it one day at a time.

purplepansy912 · 05-05-2006, 09:24 PM

welcome and congrats on your sobriety, I, as you know, is the most difficult thing. I am sober for 14 years. I don't know where the time went, but each day turned into another and then a month. then a year, then years. I wish I had a grasp on the food thing like I did with the booze, I suppose in time that will come too...
good luck..