Today was so good. (I promise I'll stop gushing about my class soon! LOL) We were working on a writing assignment about what everyone expected from this school year: why it was going to be a good year, what they wanted to learn, why they were excited about it, etc. One little boy in my class, who had come to back to school night rather surly, had written that he loved school because he was in my class and he was excited to be with me and his goal was to be a better student this year to make me proud of him. This was after his father told me last week that the kid hates school and I'd be lucky to get him to put his name on his paper. This is why I do this job! To connect with a child that no one expects anything from and to make him want to work hard is an incredible rush. Okay, he has no intrinsic motivation right now (do any eight year olds?!) but if he wants to please me, I'll take it and we'll go from there.

Chris -- Amen! Your urge yesterday was a good one to fight. I'm proud of you and happy for you that you took the high road. Don't stop posting about what is going on. I get so much out of hearing your (and others') struggles and seeing how you overcome them, if only for that day or that moment. Oh and the band is Maroon 5...love them!

linoleum -- Curious (read nosy) here, what are you taking in school?

Vanessa -- Your evening sounds very cozy...hope you enjoyed to the fullest!

Jennelle -- Powerpoint! You go, girl! Isn't it nice to have a techno-phobe around here who can be so readily impressed by girls who know cars and computer presentations? LOL

ceejay -- Warranties are wonderful and so are husbands who can do all that stuff for you. We have a deal around here: I'll take care of everything inside and he does everything outside and all things mechanical!

Okay, I could probably go on and on, but I won't! I'll close by saying that the meds are no longer making me jumpy and I think the cumulative effect may finally be taking hold. I hope to soon be depression-free.

Have a wonderful evening,
Christy

Today is just what it is supposed to be. Hope you don't mind me borrowing your line Chris.

Got up this morning and really felt rested. Slept until 7 a.m. then just laid in bed. It felt good. I was in a mood to clean the apartment. I still need to do just a bit more and I'll be finished.

I've enjoyed my day off and really don' t want to go back tomorrow.

I'll catch up with everyone later.

Hey girls! What's new?? Well it seems as though we made it through another blessed day My day was slow and boring, but my patients keep me on my feet. TGIF...well almost!
Chris-Hey!! I'm glad your day went well, your so determined! And your very optimistic, which is super cool. Life throws us curve balls, and it's up to us to decide to swing or not. For myself, I still have trouble realizing what I have, since 4 years ago, I was a completely different person with no "food" issues of any kind. Talk about extremes.. LOL But it's cool though, destiny happened and I'm here, living for today.
Christy-Hey gal!! I'm glad you connected with your students.. I also have had that experience with some of my patients and it's a magical feeling.
Ceejay-Ohhh you slept in!!!! how i wish i could!!! Even till 7!!! 330am is my wake up call!! Hey Michelle, Tracy, Linoleum,Jenelle, everyone else I can't think of at this moment!! I hope you guys are doing great and that tommorow is even better!!
Peace!
vanessa

Hi Gals, this may be short, 'cause DS is asleep on my lap and my keyboard is noisy.

Chris - i had a moment of temptation not long ago that involved doing something that I knew was not in HP's plan for me - but I thought it would make me feel better for the moment. I'm still wrestling with it, but I want HP to win. (Sounds like I was going to call a male escort or something, I know - nothing that sordid!) GOOD FOR YOU for expressing your frustration and hurt and letting God help. Isn't it wonderful that you heard just what you needed to in that meeting? When God shows us a glimpse of His plan and says, "Stick with me," it's amazing. I haven't been back to a meeting - would like to (the kids make it difficult), but at the meeting I did attend, one of the readings was about how it wasn't wrong to be in love with someone other than your spouse, provided you obey the boundaries and take from the relationship what God wants you to. Uh - okay...pretty weird topic. But it hit home in a huge way.

I was at my Mom's yesterday and today. We had a good time there. DH had to go to a meeting - and was offered a position in Cambridge, Maryland (Eastern Shore). Yikes! I'm pretty adaptable, but I still hate these decisions. DH is originally from Baltimore, so he knows the region and has siblings within a couple of hours, but my family would be 7 hours away (not a totally bad thing), and the hassle of moving...and Heaven help me, if we went to all that effort and he was still whiny and miserable, I'd kill him. Anyone know anything about the area?

Oh, Sh!t!! I broke into the 160's, according to my mom's scale, anyway. I was at 162 before I got pregnant with DS, and I've been dying to get back there. It's all psychological, but I'm tickled.

And DD did finally make "stinkies" on her potty! Time to break out the Nemo panties!

Michelle - You and your family are lovely. Thank you for sharing!!

Everyone else - sorry I've blabbed on about myself so long and not said hello to you. I'll be back tomorrow!!

LUV!

Chris - Christy beat me to it - Maroon 5. I love, love, love that song!!!

Out of the 20 parents who said they'd come to my presentation, only 7 showed up. In actuality, only 4 students out of 38 were represented because four of the people were husband/wife couples. That's okay, though. I did what I could do. I have a feeling that since 4 people said they were coming to my Saturday session, in actuality no one will show, which will mean I schlepped down there on my day off for nothing. Oh well.

The only reason I'm still awake is because I am waiting on son to call me.

Hi all you beautiful ladies

So sorry I haven't been here too much lately but its been a crazy couple of weeks, although I've probably told you that 100 times already lol. I hope you are all doing well and I wanted you to know I'm thinking of you Thanks for all the wonderful comments on our family pics. I can't remember who asked but no red isn't my favorite color but it happens to look really good on me and I always gets lots of compliments when I wear red so I wear it a lot!

TodaY I am grateful for one thing in particular
SLEEP!!!!!

I love you guys!!

Michelle

About to go out a late night walk with DH, but wanted to say hi.

Chris, EQ is going well. I'm having a fun time being a total vedge head.

Christy, thanks for sharing your story! That must feel great to connect with that little boy.

everyone else,

Gratitude list:

* Not having to wake up to an alarm
* The online meeting I went to
* The Daily Show
* Trader Joe's
* Garden State soundtrack

Morning

I woke up this morning thinking just those words, and thank God for them. My kitchen isn't cleaned, but its picked up. My breakfast has been eaten. I am pondering the words of a dear friend and letting myself feel the emotions, one at a time.

Got my new Step Work assignment.Where do sponsors get so wise? Do you get a secret handbook Kat?

Tracy I thought you might be interested on what she said about the whole stepping out thing. First you show growth by recognizing the thought as a seperate one from you regular line of thinking instead of just acting. Secondly not to over analyze it, but its an addicts reaction. I am in pain, I need to soothe my pain, what will soothe my pain better than some cheap excitement? Managing the addict behavior is the 24-hour day I know I have set before me.

Michelle I feel the same way about green. Pink is my favorite colour, but I get alot of compliments when I wear green. I think it brings out all the different colors in my eyes. My mom looks really good in red

Jenelle what a service you did for the parents that did come. Take what you need and leave the rest.

Vanessa, people of extremes? OMG my black and white thinking is a killer to the potential of what I could be. Seeing other people's part and finding compassion in their humanity, I struggle every day.

CJ, girl I own no phrases. I am glad you had the day you were suppose to and I second the idea of sleeping in

Christy, I think 8 years olds are like all of us, we just want to be heard, understood, and loved. What a great story!

Hi Linoleum! Hi Skippy! Hi Sandi!

ODAT, AMEN!
Love ya'll, Chris

Those who are clear-minded are drawn to pure foods; foods that promote long life and give virtue, strength, and health that make them happy and give satisfaction; that are pleasant-tasting, unctuous, solid, and hearty.

Those who are agitated by life are drawn to similar food; pungent, vinegary, salty, excessively hot, acidic, disagreeably dry and scorching; foods causing pain, misery and sickness.

And those whose vision is dark are drawn to stale and tasteless foods; foods that are no longer fresh, that are leftover, unpleasant smelling, and a poor offering into the inner fire.- Bhavgavad Gita 17:8-10

I was considering ice cream last night, occurring to me that ice cream is probably not an option for me for the rest of my life. That seemed like a hopeless thing. Then I realized I can have it tomorrow I just don't have to have it today. Well that's simpler at least. Then I found this reading. With ice cream Feel a physical change come over me when I ingest it. There is a numbness that starts in the center of my forehead and goes through my nose, from that point on I cannot get enough. I could eat ice cream by the truck load.

I liken it to being on drugs. Now here is the thing. Drugs gave me the worst most miserable hangovers and days of my life. One day I decided to quit because I was sick of feeling that way. I am sick of feeling like crap with ice cream. I won't ever say ever, you may see me at the local DQ tomorrow. But today I don't have to feel like crap.

Is there anything to give up, just for today. Just for today to feel good about you?
Chris

I' ve overloaded on sugar today--just because it was my birthday and I had to work.--Eating emotions again. So tomorrow I will, with God's help, do without sugar.

My oldest sister called me tonight to wish me a happy birthday. She is in California awaiting her second grand baby of the year. The baby was due yesterday and I was so wanting it to be born on my birthday. Her son's baby was born in July.

This pay period I will have 54 hours overtime. Can I say exhausted?

My little sister just checked in with me to wish me a happy birthday so I'm all set.
She also told me that she would get to come down and be with me during my "foot" surgery. Thank you God. I've just made up my mind to take a day of vacation on the 6th. I need that time to relax and prepare. Tim (my boss) you owe me this one.

Today I am thankful for
1. this forum and you wonderful ladies.
2. my 2 sisters.
3. my computer.

Thanks Chris for the birthday wishes.

Hi to all of you

Chris - I'm sure I probably *have* eaten a few truckloads of ice cream in my lifetime! I gave up lots of little things over lots of little moments today. After some not-so-sane moments with food last night, which were a direct result of me NOT listening to the God-voice in my head, I took today and listened as best I could. I like the God-voice. He's so practical...when I want to indulge in one of those free Sprites in the fridge in the teacher's lounge (well, really, teacher's tiny tiny hovel! ) He reminds me that there's a water fountain closer. When I reallllly want to buy a giant bear claw to go with the diet Coke I bought at the gas station, He reminded me that I wasn't hungry, just thirsty. Now, if I could just get my brain to stop trying to run the show by itself all the time, I think I'd have this think licked!

One of my students asked me yesterday if I would pray for her grandma, who has cancer. I was so touched. I've never had a student ask me to pray for them before. So, if you're the praying type, say a prayer for Tierra's grandma. I'm sure He will know which Tierra you're talking about.

I'm kind of overwhelmed by sad news today. One of the frat houses at my alma mater burned down early this morning and killed three young men. I didn't know them, but the fact that they went to Ole Miss kind of makes them distant family, if that makes any sense. I think also it's a little bit of the fact that my son will be at college this time next year. You like to think that once they're 18, your job is done and they will always be safe from then on out.

Things I am grateful for:
1. I am grateful for friends who let me 'fess up without judgement.
2. I am grateful for gas stations that come along in the nick of time.
3. I am grateful for teachers who teach the most severely disabled in a way that reminds everyone that we are all God's children.
4. I am grateful for good books.
5. I am grateful for my washer and dryer.

Hey guys! TGIF!! How was everyone's friday!? Mine was ok, saw my patients and gave my "advice" and made a few people happy. LOL Then I went and saw the Exorcist.. Freaky stuff! Original is better though!
Chris-Your exactly right on the addicts behavior.. I tell all my patients that!! i'm not going to let food control how I feel.. nothing can control me, except for me. It's all about changing your behavior into something positive!
Tracy-Congrats on your DD's "stinky" LOL
Michelle-Yes, you do look good in red!!! Keep wearing it!
CJ-wow, 54 hours in overtime? You deserve some TLC!! Happy B-day!
Hey to Jenelle, Linoleum, Kat,Christy!! Hope you guys are having fun out there!! All of you are in my thoughts!
Hmmm...I think it's time to slip under my electric blanket now...
PEACE!
Vanessa

"This thought is false," If I perform right actions and have right thoughts I will receive what I want"

Love rains on the just and the unjust equally, often arousing such hurt thoughts of betrayal.....that we are forced to examine our belief in God and the deal we think we cut. There is no deal. Christ did not promise material wealth and power when he spoke of the kingdom of heaven. Neither did the Buddha offer his bikkhus fortune, safety, or fame. They promised only love, peace, joy, comfort, happiness, even in the midst of pain. To be taken care of"- Sophy Burnham

This was in this months issue of Yoga International in an article called Unanswered Prayers. I thought this was really interesting because sometimes I get frustrated that God doesn't physically stand between me and the food. One part of that is the gift ofchoice he has given me. The other part is the reaching out to Him (or Her) for that peace and omfort. And here is to all of us to have a surrendered day.

Jenelle- AWESOME GRATITUDE LIST! Can I get an AMEN! When bad news comes it often comes in little groups, but you know we never get more than we can handle. How cool that your student felt safe to come ask you for prayers, in a world where your teacher can't even hug you thats just beautiful.

I want to tell you a CJ story so everyone knows what a lovely lady she is. She took me into her home, made sure I was comfortable, put up with my temporary insanity with food and spirit (Chris was once again men confused), showed me her water facility, and did not seem to judge me during any part of it. So let go of any of your judgements about yourself CJ, your 54th year deserves to be your best!

check in ladies!

Chris

Happy Birthday, CeeJay!

DD is being a bit of a pill today - I'm sure she just needs more attention. And with Chip and I mulling over this move, we're a bit distracted. I'll take the kids out later this afternoon.

And it looks like we ARE going to move to Maryland. Yikes. I wish we had some money saved. This will be difficult and stressful. I've never moved with kids, and never relocated to another region. But I'm game, because our lives seem stagnant here.