Skippy: No worries! Glad you're comfy now to let your hair down a bit.
Tracy: Ah, yes, I have been chanting "Thy will, not mine" a lot this week! It's been very helpful. And I know all about unsolicitated advice. DH and I were engaged for 4 1/2 years and I did not (by my own choice) wear an engagement ring. It drove some people nuts. I had one woman follow me once (I did not know her), yelling after me "He should put his money where his mouth is". That was after I said it was my choice not to have the ring (I wear a wedding band, but I'm not into rocks on rings - I know, I'm odd ). But I do know I will not tolerate stranger touching my pregnant tummy without asking. Some mommy friends of mine have complained about that in the past.
But advice from you ladies is very much appreciated!
Thanks!! So glad you understand I was trying to get used to the "cyndi" but I am too used to my skippy name. I think I came up with cyndi real quick because I was thinking about cyndi lauper, lol.
So you are pregnant? I didn't know that!That is great! Congratulations!! When is your baby due? (sorry if you've already talked about that, I don't remember seeing it)....
I didn't do well in my eating yesterday, "but" I don't feel terribly guilty . I went to a Family Reunion, and just decided I would eat as I pleased, without "over doing" it, which I did, but of course I did make my round to the desert table. But, I told myself, it's ok, I can get right back on track tomorrow (which I plan to be doing today). Normally I would have hated myself for failing my "diet". I know we have to not think of our healthier eating as a diet, but I'm not quite there, working on it though. So, usually I would have felt incredibly guilty, and binged because I felt like I was a failure. But I didn't really, maybe a little, but not near as much as I would have. I ate a McChicken later too, which was not good either, but again, I told myself, relax, chill out, it's ok, tomorrow will be here soon enough, you'll be ok.
So.......no binging yet, which is really a step for me. Now to continue.
The hard thing too, is that the scales are really moving wayyyyyyyyyyy slower than they usually do, but maybe that's because this time it's going to stick. This time I'll get off and keep it off maybe? I'm trying not to give up waiting for the scales to be nice to me. Every morning I feel like it should be 5 lbs less, lol but it only budges a tiny bit, if at all. But I'm trying to keep going. So far, so good.
Hope everyone has an awesome week!! Thanks again for listening. I appreciate you guys!
Hi everyone! I'm at my Mom's today, enjoying a little time away from our mess at home. I knew the house would be in a better state if we weren't in it. It's wonderful to have my head to myself during the drive. DD has Bible School every night this week, so she's been up late each night. I really need to get back on my exercise wagon, but it's so hard once your energy starts to wane. Whaa. Other than that, to quote Chris, I'm having the day I'm supposed to. Take care!
Hear that sigh of contentment? That would be me! Just finished my last teacher workday and now I am officially on summer break. Hurray!!! Didn't think this day would EVER make it this year! LOL
Kat -- Sending baby vibes your way! Enjoy the "process". Glad you're having a great summer break so far!
Skippy -- It sounds like you are making progress with your ED. Good for you! Didn't you say you had five kids? I'm nosy...tell me more! Ages, etc. (If you feel comfortable...don't want to scare you away!) I have two DDs myself -- ages 10 and 6.
Tracey -- Our VBS is next week. This is the first time in several years that I'm not finishing up the school year AND teaching VBS at the same time. It's nice!
Chris -- How's it going?
BTW, has anybody heard how Ellis is holding up right now? I'm going to get a card in the mail to her in the next day or so. Praying for you, girlie!
Well, I'm off to luxuriate in the knowledge that I now have some free time! Woo-Hoo!
I "was" doing good, thanks for your encouragement Christy! I appreciate that. oxo
Today I got mad at the scales, I got too impatient, and now I have to admit my weakness to you guys. I have been doing slim-fast, and I felt really good doing it, I've done it for about 2 weeks now, I think I lost like one pound on it, which is terrible, because I go to bed feeling like I should lose 2 or 3 in one day, I wake up feeling smaller and then I weigh, and it is discouraging. I need to stop weighing everyday, I know, it's a reallyyyyyyyyyy hard habit to break!! In my discouragement, I stopped walking the last few days, which certainly isn't helping. So.....today I told myself, I'm not buying a new stock of slim-fast stuff. I'll use what I have, but that's it. What's the use of buying that stuff if it isn't working? It's expensive and not worth getting if it doesn't help me. (I'm not saying it doesn't help anyone else, I only mean me). So.....now , what to do. I told myself, ok, it's time to get real, and just "make" myself eat healthy without any special diet plans. (easier said than done) but that's like my only thing left at this point, all else just fails, diet after diet......I need to just exercise and eat healthy and stop worrying about diets, the scales, and the mirror. I'm sorry to keep whining and going on about me I don't mean to, it's just hard sometimes. But the good thing is that even though in my discouragement over all that, which led to not binging, but eating wrong foods today, I am determined to get right back on track tomorrow, only this time, not with slim-fast, but just with eating better. (again, easier said than done) but that is my plan. I got some nuts, blueberries, whole grain rice, fruit and cucumbers, and I am just going to try and eat better food, less of it, and only when I am hungry or need to eat. "try", that's the key word, hopefully that word try, will turn into, "do" . Thanks again, for listening to me "again", and again and again.
Yes, I have 5 wonderful, adorable, beautiful children!! I love them sooooooooooo much!!oxo I am so blessed to have them! They are ages 5-16. (actually, each are 3 years apart) They are my treasures! And I am blessed by my husband too, he's a fun and great guy! oxo
I feel sorry for my husband sometimes, to have to deal with my issues, because he came from a secure home, with 2 parents and your "normal" type of home, as much as normal as can be (because I don't think normal really exists, lol), I came from more of a dysfunctional home, insecure, my parents were divorced when I was young (my father chose to not be a part of my life hardly at all), I love my mom to death, she did the best she could do, and she taught me many good things in my life, but I have issues that came from growing up, lots of them actually, but(!!), I have to learn to let go (which I really am trying to do) and take responsbility for the things I can make different, and break the cycle (which I have in a lot of areas, but still need to in a lot of areas as well).
Ok, enough about me , sorry to keep going on....
Thanks for your ears! (and eyes in reading this, lol)
Sorry I have been AWOL, work has been keeping me busy. I mean its like I have so much to do, and they actually expect me to do it JK. I actually take alot of accountability for my work performance and when I am working this hard I usually get off on it. Too bad they don't hand out gold stars at work, I would love a big poster with gold stars.
Skippy- I have been struggling a bit with food too. I have binged (or purged) by God's grace, but everyday I found myself eating at least 1 thing not on my FP. I have been very tired and stressed, and those things don't help me connect with my program, all of you, or HP very well. This morning it occured to me its been 5 days since I picked up my step work, and that is probably my answer. But like you my brain thinks well if I change my food, or I do this or that. Its a lie my disease tells, it says there's an easier, softer way just around the corner. Keep working on finding your serenity I tell you it is out there, I have experienced it.
Christy- Glad to see you! What are your plans now that you are officially braked? I too have been thinking about Ellis and just need to find time to do. You keep been the beautiful Christy you are
Tracy- Here is to having the exact day we are suppose to have. You are so growing
Kat- I will put in my prayers today your desire to become pregnant. I keep seeing people's babies, and my baby is going to be 13 in a few months. I have had a few of those mommy pangs, but I rather live vicariously through you Don't forget to remind us of all the stuff we didn't like when you get pregnant
Inhaling, exhaling. God never quits on me and that is a given blessing from the moment I wake up. Have a lovely day everyone!
Chris
(((Skippy))) -- Hang in there! I so know what you mean about that desire to just be "normal". I was rereading some of my old journals yesterday -- from the last 3 or 4 years -- and it made me sad. The struggle with food is there -- jumping from one diet plan to another, beating myself up about failures, crying out to God about why I can't do this. There's also so much self-hatred. Describing myself with words like insignificant, forgettable, worthless. I had the urge to throw them all away, but I didn't. That's who I was (still am to a great degree) and tossing them won't make it go away. Gotta learn to deal -- or even better, give it to God and LEAVE it there. I'm world champion at leaving it and then going back to get it!
Chris -- What am I going to DO? What AM I going to do? The girls have various camps and summer programs to be shuttled back and forth from. I finally have time to indulge myself at the gym and get back to my writing. I can read for hours. I will be able to give our house a thorough cleaning. (Yes, I actually enjoy this. Weird, I know!) We're going to the beach in a couple of weeks. It all stretches before me today like a long, glorious weekend! Sorry to hear about the expectations they have for you at work. Have to complete assignments?! The nerve of them! LOL Glad you're that type of person who can thrive on it, though.
Kat -- How could I forget to tell you that I looked at your website? You look wonderful! Congrats to you!
Well, I'm off to the gym. Have a great day, ladies!
LOL, Christy, I remember reading Marilu Henner's book a few years back, and she described her life long obsessions as "Boys and My Weight". My diaries all read that way, too. So much energy goes into that obsession. What would I do with it, if I were "normal"? Compose music? Write poetry? Save the whales? It would be something big, for sure.
Got in a good workout yesterday, but it was hard. I have to get my energy back up. We have a doc appointment today, which screws things up, and VBS this evening. (Sarah is so funny - she's three, which means she doesn't really get it, but she comes home saying things like "I love you and so does Jesus" which is adorable.)
Have a good day, ladies. Hang in there, Skippy. It's a process. I've been here for months and I'm still struggling.
Sarah is so funny - she's three, which means she doesn't really get it, but she comes home saying things like "I love you and so does Jesus" which is adorable.
Truer words never said. Off to another busy day, but I am thinking of all of you!
Even though I've messed up the last couple days, I still didn't "binge". However, today is another day I am headed in that direction I'm telling myself that evil mean lie, that , oh skippy, you already messed up, go ahead and eat whatever and however much you want today, and then you can start again tomorrow (yeah, uh-huh, sure).....I'm mad at myself! I was doing so good! It's the evil scales, I wish I would have never weighed myself that day, that caused me to get so discouraged (but then again, I weigh everyday, so it does't matter, lol)....ugh, why did I do that to myself?? 4 cookies and a chocolate eclair ice cream bar so far, and it's only 6:26 pm, still more time to go
Weekly Check-In 6/13-6/19
DH and I were engaged for 4 1/2 years and I did not (by my own choice) wear an engagement ring. It drove some people nuts. I had one woman follow me once (I did not know her), yelling after me "He should put his money where his mouth is". 
That was after I said it was my choice not to have the ring (I wear a wedding band, but I'm not into rocks on rings - I know, I'm odd 
I didn't know that!That is great! Congratulations!!
When is your baby due? (sorry if you've already talked about that, I don't remember seeing it).... 
I have been doing slim-fast, and I felt really good doing it, I've done it for about 2 weeks now, I think I lost like one pound on it, which is terrible, because I go to bed feeling like I should lose 2 or 3 in one day, I wake up feeling smaller and then I weigh, and it is discouraging. 
Morning Ya'll
What are your plans now that you are officially braked? 
You keep been the beautiful Christy you are 
