But back to IE: I've just eaten a large amount of candy. it started off innocently but at some point i just loose control. i can't even bring myself to a stop! what do i do! i know i'm frustrated, i now where it comes from but i just can't stop. HELP!
Calm... Most important thing now is to stop feeling guilty or thinking, oh well, what's the point of doing this, and go into an all out binge.
It takes time to normalize your eating patterns and eating behavior. No one can do it overnight or over one week or one month. It took me a year and I'm still learning to eat better.
There are a lot of ways to control or limit sugar cravings (as I mentioned in my previous post). For me, none ever worked except for the last option.
What I am to suggest now is the total non-restriction route which will probably offend many people, lol, but it worked for me. The whole point of non-restriction and IE is to eat whatever you want including candy but not whenever you want. When I was in your shoes, I ate candy and junk food for my meals. In fact, I still do. Just yesterday, I had two packets of chips for breakfast. While I did not label my eating habits as "intuitive eating" before joining this site, I was actually practicing it as I was eating only when hungry. But it took me months to totally rid myself of the bingeing urges. It's only now, after a year, that I'm turning my attention to the type of food I eat and even now, as you can see, I still eat junk.
I'm not advocating that you eat junk food for life. Eventually, we all need to eat healthy most of the time (and train our palette to want to do so) since none of us want to develop diabetes, heart disease etc after all. However, it takes time to build a healthy relationship with food.
It also takes time to find out the best method to cure your cravings and binges. Give it time to find out whether IE is something that you can adopt for a lifetime. I guess that's what I meant when I posted previously that once someone finds a method that works for them, it's very difficult to give that method up even if that particular way is full of restrictions and rules. So yeah, time - have I mentioned this word enough times in this post??!!
Magical your "Calm" really helped me yesterday. I was about to inhale everything I have in the fridge and thought "CALM DOWN". I had a cup of tea, watched a show and went to bed. End of story! I am still alive...
Haha, das ist ja lustig! Die Deutschen sind echt überall...
When I lived in the US, i consumed gigantic amounts of bagels w/ cream cheese, any kind of mexican food and smoothies- oh dear god, i love smoothies. I probably had like 3 every day and then beer and the oh-so-famous jungle juice. And that was pre-dieting. College kids
But back to IE: I've just eaten a large amount of candy. it started off innocently but at some point i just loose control. i can't even bring myself to a stop! what do i do! i know i'm frustrated, i now where it comes from but i just can't stop. HELP!
I had a similar thing happen with fun size chocolate bars yesterday. I had 4 in my pocket at work that were stacked up from the week, just never feeling like one. Then yesterday, friday afternon, tired and a bit annoyed that things weren't going so smoothly with my work, thought I'd have one. I knew I wasn't physically hungry, just wanted a mental pick-me-up. Well after eating one, before I knew it I had eaten all 4. It was an opportunity to ask myself why. Alot of times when I do this kind of thing I don't really think of it as emotional eating. I actally never really thought of myself as an emotional eater. I always pictured emotional eaters as crying over a pint of ben of jerrys. When I am shoving food in my mouth I am not feeling anything. And that is the whole point; I am eating to avoid feeling which is emotional eating. Eating those fun sized chocolate bars took away frustration and mental tiredness at work temporarily. It is tough to just sit and accept an uncomfortable emotion, but we have to learn to do it sometimes because some situations cannot be improved. For example, I left work a little early and made a stop at the grocery store. While there I got a frantic call from a coworker at work becasue I had forgotten to enter some important data before i left and my coworker was thouroghly annoyed with me. I felt so bad and inadequate because I had made this same mistake recently and i just kept thinking what an idiot I was. I started loading up my cart with binge foods. I had alread eaten too many fun sized chocolate bars not even being hungry which also annoyed me and I was feeling guilty about it even though I'm not restricting (If I was hungry I would not have felt guilty, but I'm only human and it's tough to not be so hard on myself sometimes). Then I took some deep breaths and conciously asked myself a question my book says to ask myself which is to fill in the blanks for this sentence: I feel ----- because -----. I was able to identify so many things. Not only was i feeling totally inadequate with my job performance which made me feel stupid and not a good person, I was also feeling bad I was approaching the weekend with no plans, noone to spend time with, and I had also received an email from an ex boyfriend broke up with a few months ago due to us being long distance and realizing it would never work which really stirred up my emotions. I was wanting to binge to make all those uncomfortable feelings go away. I realized that bingeing would numb my mind for that night but I would still have to face these emotions in the morning on top of feeling bad and gross about having binged. It then seemed so pointless to binge (although I still wanted to becuase I was still feeling very uncomfortable with my emotions). I put the binge food back on the shelves. Binge averted.
On my drive home I got emotional and had some tears appear. Had I been bingeing (which would have started in the car ride home), those tears wouldn't have come. I would have just been calm eating without any feeling. By not bingeing, I am forced to feel things. I came out of it yesterday okay, but I might not be so successful every time depending on the circumstance. I think it takes time and practice.
Last edited by veggiedaze; 05-04-2013 at 11:52 AM.
Magical your "Calm" really helped me yesterday. I was about to inhale everything I have in the fridge and thought "CALM DOWN". I had a cup of tea, watched a show and went to bed. End of story! I am still alive...
Wow, congrats on averting the foodfest. Looks like you and me both. I explained in my post why I was going to fly off the deep end yesterday after work. When you look back on what caused you to want to inhale the contents of your refridgerator, can you identify anything that prompted you to do so? Were you tired, annoyed, procrastinating, wanting to escape, wanting to stop thinking?
The book I am reading now (yes another book) on emotional eating by Geneen Roth says that anytime we want to eat something when we are not hungry, there is a reason (like things I mentioned above). She also says that when we begin eating something that isn't caused by actual hunger, there is no point of satiation. Only when we are actually hungry for something can we reach the point of satiety. So true.
Also, loved hearing from everyone how different foods make you feel and find it very interesting how the same foods affect people differently. Just goes to show how eating is something very individual so obviously one WOE does not work for the masses.
Thank you for posting. Your story definitely gives me hope! Good luck in your journey!
You are hilarious!! My dog thinks I am a hot mess too, always trying to protect me from everything. He definitely feeds off my anxiety and stress. My kids can't even pet him....he such a little jerk....good thing he is cute!
So I feel like today was an epic fail, but tomorrow is a new day. I think I have realized how much of an emotional eater I am. I have been excited, stressed about getting ready for our trip tomorrow, I haven't been able to stop eating all day. I at least got a salad to go with my supper....we were having pizza and I haven't had it for months, so I was worried about eating 5-6 pieces....this way I only had 2....fairly small pieces too, but have been grazing on crap all evening. I did go to he gym and did an hour on the treadmill mostly a pretty big incline so that is good I guess. Trying to let the guilt go, but seriously worried about clothes fighting in a week if I have too many more days like this. It is hard....I ave all these things.....reminders in my phone, of how to eat, asking if I am truly hungry, is this food the best to fuel my body....but I forget it....I forget to read them to remind myself. I may set an alarm on my phone to remind me to look at them a couple times a day. Maybe that will help. I have a salad packed for the hours and of our drive tomorrow, some fruit and cut up veggies. I have solidified today that carby foods most times gets me every time especially when stressed, so need to remind myself how I feel. Wish my phone could sense my urges and zap me or something to snap me out of it lol. Maybe I will create a new app
You know I may have identified something important in your post (maybe not), but I could not help but notice that after you called the day an "epic fail" you went on to mention wonderful things that were not failures at all like you had a great workout, and had a couple pieces of pizza with salad instead of 6 pieces of pizza. I bet there were other things you did well that day too. People always focus on the negative (myself included) and are quick to see the whole situation as a failure even when there may be many victories as well. In one of the books I read, it says to make a list everyday of all the successes you had that day and leave out all the failures. It will help to realize you are making great strides and that there are so many things you are actually doing right.
Hope you are having a great time at myrtle beach!
Last edited by veggiedaze; 05-04-2013 at 12:14 PM.
I hope you guys have a great weekend so far. It is pretty sunny outside and I would love to love it, but I HATE it. I have no clue what to wear anymore...Nothing fits, but at least this time I don´t eat out of frustration.
I have dropped another lbs and see a 195 now!!! I am so happy. I hope to get into the 180ies soon. The daily weigh in really helps me. I just watch the trend and don´t get discouraged if the scale goes up.
Yesterday I wanted to just stuff my face after making poor food choices all day. I ate too much and only processed foods. I decided that this is what I want right now. I was on a chicken with broccoli diet for too long and need to just eat what I crave now. I watched the portions (kinda) and am even down half a lbs this morning. It is so worth it to not stuff your face because "you blew it". You never know - you might have not blown it att all...
Now that i've given myself "permission" to eat all my "forbidden" foods, i've realized that many of the foods i used to love, i don't ACTUALLY love. Stuff like pop tarts, potato chips, cookies, cake. I used to eat a LOT of those, but now i think i ate them because i couldn't think of anything else to eat! Every day, i'd eat a decent amount of "healthy" food but i'd find myself hungry, and i'd just fill in the rest of my diet with junk food. Now, i realize i just crave FOOD, not necessarily junk food. Don't get me wrong, i still eat a LOT of carbs (cereal, breakfast bars, bread, etc.), but i realized i don't NEED cake to feel fulfilled.
Now that i've given myself "permission" to eat all my "forbidden" foods, i've realized that many of the foods i used to love, i don't ACTUALLY love. Stuff like pop tarts, potato chips, cookies, cake. I used to eat a LOT of those, but now i think i ate them because i couldn't think of anything else to eat! Every day, i'd eat a decent amount of "healthy" food but i'd find myself hungry, and i'd just fill in the rest of my diet with junk food. Now, i realize i just crave FOOD, not necessarily junk food. Don't get me wrong, i still eat a LOT of carbs (cereal, breakfast bars, bread, etc.), but i realized i don't NEED cake to feel fulfilled.
That's such a great attitude!!
I've found that if I just let myself eat whatever, I become "afraid" of food, and start looking to hobbies to obsess over. But when I'm in a healthy mode, I step away from the computer, step away from the napping and lazing about, and get stuff DONE
I hope you guys have a great weekend so far. It is pretty sunny outside and I would love to love it, but I HATE it. I have no clue what to wear anymore...Nothing fits, but at least this time I don´t eat out of frustration.
I have dropped another lbs and see a 195 now!!! I am so happy. I hope to get into the 180ies soon. The daily weigh in really helps me. I just watch the trend and don´t get discouraged if the scale goes up.
Yesterday I wanted to just stuff my face after making poor food choices all day. I ate too much and only processed foods. I decided that this is what I want right now. I was on a chicken with broccoli diet for too long and need to just eat what I crave now. I watched the portions (kinda) and am even down half a lbs this morning. It is so worth it to not stuff your face because "you blew it". You never know - you might have not blown it att all...
If I don't pay close attention to what I eat, I end up inhaling WAY to many calories, even without binging =/
I think that cravings are the real culprit for me, though. During the periods of my life I didn't feel them, I weighed less.
Just a thought provoking question: what is a "craving"
I am feeling more and more a craving is just a jusitification to listen to our bingeing desire (addictive voice according to Jack Trimpey or animal brain according to Kathryn Hansen-autor of brain over bingge).
So I've done even more reading. This time a book by Jack Trimpey. I didn't read his book that addresses overeating exclusively (since it was not available in kindle edition on amazon) but read his more general book titled "The Triumph of Addiction Recovery in the Breakdown of the Bicameral, Addictive Voice, or, Who Killed Julian Jaynes." I was disapointed to not have had his overeating book available to me on kindle, but in hindsight I am so happy I read this book. To me it is analogous to Einsteins pursuit of a unified field theory, where he so desperately wanted to combine his theory of realitivity with electromagnetism (yes I am a science nerd to the extreme) into one big theory of everything. Well this book seems to allow me to combine everything I've learned in all the books I've read. Some of the books' ideas seemed contradictory which became a source of confusion for me, but now everything has seemed to come together. Here is what I have learned in combining all these books from the beginning of my journey to end bingeing:
1. Food is pleasurable, something that i noticed from a young age, and is more pleasurable to some people than others.
2. Restriction/dietary rules is what gave birth to the "addictive voice/beast", or "animal brain" where the brain notices how even more rewarding food is and feels when there is restriction. The "addiction" is now established and the "beast" does everything it can to survive using "the addictive voice" to control the real you (higher brain) to keep it alive.
3. The addictive voice uses any kind of justification it can to convince you. Such justifications include restriction, saying to yourself and feeling "I'm so deprived I must binge", and also using emotions as justification saying "I'm so bored, lonely, depressed, etc." The animal voice also uses perfectionism to justify bingeing saying "you've already messed up, so you might as well", and also uses lack of confidence (self fullfilling prophecy) saying "you'll binge eventually".
4. Although recognizing these emotions etc. that seem to preceed bingeing, it does not in itself quiet the animal voice. You must actually recognize the animal voice.
5. One must accept unconfortable emotions an learn to "sit with it" and not feel like they need to make the emotions go away. This is where Josie Spinardis book fails in my opinion. She suggests things like going for a walk instead of emotional eating. This will never work because food will always be the easiest/best feeling thing to do. Certainly a walk is always good to do, but it feeds into the idea that you must try to get rid of the emotions you are feeling. Really, all one needs to do is accept they will feel uncomfortable and let it pass. The quote I like for this one is "the only way out is through". Accepting "pain" means we don't have to suffer. You can equate this to a breakup. If you don't accept the break-up, you will just continue to suffer. Acceptance doesn't mean you have to like or agree with the break-up, only that you accept it has happened. People don't like to hear that they have to accept uncomfortable emotions, but by giving in to the addictive voice by justifying it with saying "it will help take the emotion away", you are just trading one scary unknown emotion (sadness of the breakup), with one familiar safe emotion (being too full and disgusted with yourself). People like the familiar and not the unknown.
6. Most clinical treatment and 12 step programs like OA (I know this will be controversial and just an opinion of mine not a fact) only feed into the addictive voice telling a person they are powerless to stop their behaviour and must take treatment as "one day at a time" where they are actually accepting the possibility of relapse. This makes the addictive voice/beast happy because it allows him to stay alive. The addictive voice is then satisfied with this and a person ends up living their life in the shadow and fear of relapse or next episode.
7. AVRT (active voice recovery technique) says to make the following observations and ask the following questions:
a). your brain is 2 entities: You, and It(beast which uses addictive voice to communicate)
b). You want to not binge and know the damage it does but "It" feeds off the pleasure and thinks it is a good thing and life's purpose.
c). Ask yourself right now "will you quit right now forever?" and usually you will feel cornered and shocked and will say things like "well I hope so", or "that's what we all want isn't it", but most people will not say "yes, I will never binge again". The reason for this reluctance is because it is the "It" and addictive voice talking. "It" is very threatened by the idea of never bingeing again and will say things to you like "of course you will binge again", "you're not strong enough", "it's normal to relapse", "you enjoy it too much". "It" tricks you into thinking if you never binge again you will have to endure a life of white knuckling, longing for the binge, living without the pleasure. But this is not "the real YOU" thinking this. This is the "IT" thinking. YOU will be perfectly happy not bingeing. But IT will crumble and die and that is why it is telling you these things. 12 step programs including AA and OA only accomidate the addictive brain and try to get acceptance and tolerance from society. These programs only perpetuate the behaviour and do work by having society become tolerant of these behaviours and give empathy saying "these people can't help it; they are addicted; it is beyond their control". The reality is, we can control it.
Freelancemomma - Honestly I thought about you while reading this book. I know you are a writer and I think you would enjoy this book. It's quite scholarly in my opinion and I had to really concentrate and read a few things several times to really grasp what was being said. It's been many years since I've read something like that that is not really written in laymans terms. Also, this AVRT is the whole basis for the book "Brain over Binge".
Also, the author, Jack Trimpey said how when he came accross this idea he thought it was revolutionary and then later realized people use it all the time, especially when quitting smoking.
I also liked in the book when people say "It's too hard blah blah blah" that that is the addictive/animal voice talking trying to decieve you. The fact is, the addictive voice is weak compared to your conciousness and relys on your conciousness to stay alive. That is why it acts so powerful.
Please everyone I encourage you to read this book. At the beginning it talks about Julian Jaynes (culteral anthropologist and historical psychologist) who authored the controversial book "The Origin of Consciousness in the Breakdown of the Bicameral Mind." It is ironic because as Trimpey points out, Jaynes never associates his work with addiction and actually drank himself to death. It is hypothesized that maybe he did not make the connection because of the whole popularity of 12 step programs/disease approach to addiction treatment.
Honestly, I feel like it is possible to never binge and that the addictive voice wants their victims to feel like it isn't possible or enjoyable, therefore keeping themselves alive. They make one believe they will always be longing. Trimpey calls this phenomenon "recoveryism".
It's all so interesting. I would just love love love someone else to read this so we could discuss. I should note I too feel threatened by the idea of never bingeing again. But it is not me that is threatened I realize now. It's just the addiction itself.
P.S. Hope everyone had a great weekend. Mine was great and philisophical. Southernmavin, hope your having fun in Texas.
Last edited by veggiedaze; 05-06-2013 at 03:32 PM.
P.P.S. I am really enjoying the German on this thread
P.P.P.S. Freelancemomma, this theory of Jack Trimpey may help explain the overeating session you experienced (I read on the binge free challenge thread) where you really couldn't find another reason since you weren't restricting etc. etc. I know you don't love the term addiction and prefer the term attraction, but honestly, that's kind of what Trimpey is saying, that we do have free will, we just get manipulated to think we don't.
Last edited by veggiedaze; 05-06-2013 at 03:32 PM.
By "cravings" I mean a physical sensation of desire for sweets/salt, with accompanying obsessive thoughts, that, if not given into, are extremely distracting make it almost physically uncomfortable to focus on anything else.
Considering that going up on my anti-depressants suddenly and completely eliminated these cravings, which I've experienced most of my life, I think that, for me at least, cravings are far more than just really really liking food. (I will note that I still LOVE many foods, and if I eat a cookie, I still love it as much as I used to, but I don't feel physically or psychologically compelled by it anymore).
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