Thanks for the video Kris. Strangely I did not find that disturbing, not sure why.

Sometimes if I catch a reflection of myself eating it disgusts me and I want to go hide in a closet. My reflection has become such a depressing thing.

Well, weighing myself is something I've learned to do through therapy. When my bingeing was at my worst I would never weigh myself, it was a way of staying in denial. I don't want to be in denial about my weight, it's the only consistant thing I do to keep myself grounded in my reality. If I'm going to binge I'm going to have to face the scale - that's my rule.

I will however stop trying to think about calorie restriction though it is hard to do.

I feel like this is almost a private conversation that I'm spying on, but I just wanted to say that I really relate to a lot of the points you all are making! :)

The video made me a bit sad. Because when I am in binge-mode I just want more food. I want a whole bag of doritos, and a pizza, and ice cream and soda...

I want enough so that I won't run out until I'm so full I'm sick. But when not in binge mode food does look normal. I can eat two slices of pizza and be fine. I can have a serving of doritos and be ok. In fact, outside of binge mode I don't usually want that stuff.

So watching her eat that food and feeling like it was so much, and then comparing it to my binges and realizing I have eaten tons more than that. And I saw in the description that she said it was a small binge for her.

A typical binge for me could be a whole bag of chips, a whole frozen pizza(like the kind from the grocery store, smaller than one that would be delivered but still like 1000+ calories), a few chocolate bars, a pint of ice cream, three or four sodas...

It's so much to me right now, seeing my binge written down. To be honest I have never written down a binge, or even really let myself tally it all up in my head. I just ignored it. I wanted it to go away and not be a part of me anymore. I wanted to just be better.

I suppose it's important to see it written out like that. It's more than what I could eat in two days, when eating normally.

It's amazing how I always identified as someone who just overeats all the time, but in reality I don't. I just binge, and that's where the weight comes from because I do little to counteract it and they are frequent.

Well yesterday I didn't binge, but I did have a lot of wine! I think my goal is to focus on not binging this week.

I didn't watch the video, but I sometimes thought about how crazy I must look when I'm bingeing, not just the eating, but before and after. Like, scurrying around the store, quickly grabbing my foods like they're drugs, sometimes running so that I can hurry and start eating....goodness!

I did have a binge-sort-of-thing yesterday after all. It's a fine line for me....now that I've incorporated sort of planned "refeeds" into my routine, which look like binges but have none of the emotional/mental badness associated with them. In the end, I felt good about doing it and don't regret it, but I still wonder if my motivation was correct. It seems there was some disagreement between my higher brain and lower brain, which makes me think I was following a binge urge, but then now, like I said, I don't feel guilty.

I think the reason I may have been conflicted a bit was because I was actually trying to not do a USUAL refeed just to lose extra weight this week before I go on my trip, which is actually a kind of restriction, since it's what my body is used to now!

Love reading how everyone is doing with these concepts. Keep it up!

Thanks for sharing! I can't wait to read the book.

mottainai- Just curious... how does this WOE fit in with IF? IF restricts eating and this is telling you not to restrict eating. Pls explain if it is not too much trouble.

I have not read the book yet, but thanks so much for the tip. I'll get it soon.

Kelleyb- Well, the thing is, I don't do IF like as a "rule" kind of thing at all. I eat when I'm hungry and want to eat, that's it!, and my natural way of eating falls into what just happens to be called "IF," haha. I don't restrict. If I were hungry in the morning, I'd eat! It just happens that I naturally eat mostly only in the later hours, that's all. (:

Thanks for the response. I do IF, but it's more like I "suffer through" the hunger until I eat at whatever time I have set, KWIM? Not always like that, but sometimes for sure.

I actually just posted another thread about this, but I recently read on a different forum where people where discussion Brain Over Binge and someone brought up the book called Eating Less, by Gillian Riley. It was suggested that it works with the same ideas as BOB but kind of more practical steps and tips, and might be helpful for people who love the concept of BOB but have difficulty implementing it.

Just wanted to mention that! I just bought it and I'll let y'all know if it's helpful.

EDIT: Its really good so far! The authors viewpoint about disorders eating does sound very similar to Kathryn's model. This book is focused on more general issues with eating, more than simply binge eating, and also addresses issues with insecurities of weight and appearance. Basically, anyway, I'm gonna recommend this one too! The author specifically suggets, like I think BOB did a little bit, actually not to discuss the strategies With others too much, so I Will leave ot there For now. That's all. (:

Kelleyb- I see. Yeah, if it's something you're suffering through, it might be worth evaluating if you shouldn't keep doing it if you're struggling with binge eating (not sure if you are?). I've read several times, actually, from people who say IF-ing can exacerbate bingeing, or at least urges. It doesn't seem to be the case for me, since like I said, it's natural and I've been doing it for years and not strictly, but it's something to consider!!

Thx! Yes, I have some binge eating and regular overeating. IF really doesn't seem to make it worse for me though, I think it even makes it better. I have been doing IF about 10 months and I did overeat and binge more in the beginning, but not anymore (from IF hunger- I still have my regular troubles).

Yep. Me too. Well, actually, I can't say outside of binge mode I don't want that stuff . . . if I'm being totally truthful I love junk food - -like Doritos! That said, when I'm not in binge mode, I can eat a single serving bag of them and be satisfied. In binge mode, I relate to what you said about not wanting to run out. A lot of times when I'm bingeing before bed, I pass out after a binge . . .a food coma . . . as I call it. I guess I used to worry about being done with the binge because that was always when the absolute worst feelings set in --- disgust, defeat, and regret. Past few weeks I've been eating the stuff I want but dare I say, eating it like a normal person. I actually threw out some french fries .. . I was full and didn't want to finish them. What a concept!!!! :dizzy:

Yeah, that definitely sounds like something that could have made the urge more powerful. I find even the slightest restriction now is kind of "triggering" for me.

Exactly, there is some confusing now over identifying what is a binge and what is over-eating in my mind. Two days ago I was really stressed. My son was ill with a high fever, was extremely fussy, and I was on my way to the airport to pick up my mother who will be staying with us through the holidays (that's a whole other story, she is probably my biggest "trigger.") I reluctantly fell into my usual course of action which was to carve out some time for a drive thru binge. I ordered what I usually order at Burger King - 10piece chicken nuggets, double cheeseburger with mayo, large fries and diet soda. I ate some, but I wasn't hungry. My higher brain just kept rolling her eyes at me like "really? what are you doing?" but not in an angry kind of way. My binge brain was out of sight, I couldn't get myself into binge mode at all, which means I couldn't finish my food. It was like I was trying to binge, trying to go into binge mode just to aleviate my stress but it wasn't working. I gave up and threw the food out. Remarkably I don't feel guilty at all about this. Maybe this is working, maybe just the idea that bingeing is not WHO I AM is the right trigger for me not to cave into bingeing anymore. It's far from over, far from even properly starting yet but I sense a change in me regardless of this binge.

Oh yea for sure, I love junk food too. It's totally addictive, the combination of high fructose syrup and salt is like a drug. Anyone who indulges as much as I have would become addictive. Don't think about that too much, it's a chemical addiction like any other and it can go away, I'm convinced of that.

I totally hear you on the "normal" person stuff you say. I've known this about myself for a long time - that when I'm with company I don't care very much about the food at all. I eat normally and I've never known myself to finish an order of french fries when I'm with friends. Not because I try not to, but because I am full and don't want to eat anymore. It has a lot to do with engaging in laughter and conversation. I only binge when I'm alone, I'm a bottomless pit at that point.