Book: Brain Over Binge -- highly recommended!
 

I just wanted to take a minute to recommend a book I recently read called Brain Over Binge. In a few words, this book was just absolutely life-changing for me, and I cannot recommend it highly enough in the hopes that it'll help someone else as much as it did me!

If you're like me, and you feel trapped in the habit of binge eating, especially if it's been continuing for years and years, feel overwhelmed with how many "triggers" there are for you to feel the urge to binge, and if you've felt like the bingeing is completely at odds with your true self and yet you can't figure out why you still can't stop, I think you'll find a lot of answers in this book!

The author basically presents an alternative method to recovery than some of the more traditional ones, one that treats binge eating as more of a physical habit issue rather than an emotional one, and it just happens to be one that is a perfect fit for me. Since reading the book and internalizing the concepts, I have not binged, have had virtually no struggle with it, and best of all, I feel I can truly say with confidence that I will never again binge eat when "I" don't want to. After several years, I finally feel like I fully understand why I started bingeing, why I continued to for so long, why my past efforts to avoid it failed, and now, why I'll never go back and do it any more.

So, I just would recommend that anyone pick up this book if you're interested. I practically sound like an advertisement, haha, but honestly, it was very amazing for me. There are a lot of reviews you can read which similarly have really changed people's lives. At the least, I can't imagine it would be a waste of time to read for anyone! (: If you want, you can also go here: http://brainoverbinge.blogspot.ca/20...beginners.html and get a good overview of the book's ideas, as well, before going out to get the whole book!

Hello! Thanks a lot for the recommendation!

I'm currently reading a book called 'Overcoming Overeating' by Jane Hirschmann & Carol Munter and although I'm only halfway through it it's already having an effect on me.

In that book the authors write about accepting yourself for who you are and not criticising yourself all the time. They say that the way to do it is to catch yourself in a criticism. So, earlier, when I caught sight of myself in a bathroom mirror at work, my instant thought was 'god, I look awful', then realised what I'd thought and told myself that I accept myself the way I am and that I love me. About five other times today I've had self-depreciating thoughts and have told myself the same thing. It's already making me feel happier and less self-conscious.

It also says that you need to stop dieting to stop binging, because the binge is a direct result of constricting yourself to a very limited number of foods. For me, it's always been about a weekend of freedom (eating everythng and anything I want) before I have to go back on the diet wagon on Monday, so I buy in excess and then eat in excess because I think I need to get it all out of the way before the diet returns. They actually use that exact same mentality in the book.

I'd always been a bit cautious about self-help books of any kind, but it's just so good to be reading something that makes complete and utter sense!

I am going to try to pick this book up at Barnes and Noble tonight, and hopefully get through some of it this weekend. :)

I've heard good things about it.

Funny, I was just writing a post to someone on another thread who mentioned this very book. I have been reviewing the author's website and it makes sense to me. I mean, I've been to therapy. I've learned WHY I binge, I've learned that I COPE by bingeing. I repeat the cycle of trigger-urge-binge-repent at least twice a day like a freaking robot.

I have recently begun to understand that my fragile emotional state (eye roll) may not be responsible for my urges. I think I'm over my past and the power it has over me, I realize that I'm not perfect but that I don't have to keep punishing myself with bingeing. I'm just over all of it. I'm starting to understand that food has a physiological impact on my hormones and that by changing some of that food I can think more clearly. But even all that knowledge does not CURE my bingeing.

It definitely makes sense to me and I'll be buying the book come next paycheck. But pleeeeeease keep us updated on how you're doing with this as I'd really like to do it too. My worst fear of this is how to disengage from the urge, and how to not act on the urge. It seems impossible, tell me how you do it.

Mottaini-
ive been wanting to tell you to read this book for a VERY long time... after reading alot of your posts, and even your more recent ones.. but i didnt want to be rude.... i really feel like you were just giving TOO MUCH ATTENTION to your binging (and she addresses that in the book)

The book helped me, for a bit...... my binging is definitely more under control...its 60% better.. but for a while it was completely better. that only lasted a couple weeks though.
the problem, and she adresses this too, is that this technique wont work (prob) if youre trying to lose weight still.
If youre STILL in a caloric deficit, than your animal brain is STILL going to take over, eventually.. the same physiological response that oriniginally started the behavior will kick in again, if someone continues to try and diet diet down.. its a survival instinct, first and foremost, but after that, it IS habit, and you CAN control it..
Im still trying to lose, but my binging is a LOT better, like i said. but im also, in general, eating more moderately now, as well

I found they have it on the Nook for $10! Also, if any of you ladies have a tablet, I'm not sure if you know, but you can download the Nook app and read the Nook books that way. Sometimes the books are cheaper, or at least easier to get to since my bookstore is often missing things like this.

I'm going to buy it tonight, after my haircut, and start reading.

I don't have any fantasies that I'll cure my binging overnight or that it will go away forever. I do have a lot of weight to lose and I know that during that time it's going to be difficult to always be fighting binging.

I just can't lose anything as long as these frequent binges continue. I fear it will kill me one day too! I overate yesterday to a point I hadn't reached in a while, where I felt ill laying down because all the food was pushing up at the top of my stomach. And I also became sweaty and just felt ill in general.

I know that I will certainly beat this, and that I will lose weight and become healthy, because it's what I want for my future. I do know that it won't be as easy as simply cutting back on calories and adding in exercise, because I do have this silly disorder that plagues me. BUT, I know that I will find a way and I know that all of you will too. :)

Wannabeskinny- It was HARD to completely seperate my higher brain self from the binge urge at first, still is a bit sometimes. One thing I found helpful was just to put an automatic label "JUNK" on ANY thought that popped into my mind related to binging. I may go back and reevaluate it later trying to see if it really was "my" thought or not, but regardless, I made it a new habit that it was instantaneous to think a big "JUNK!!!" on all of them. I also actually had to spend some self-reflection time convincing myself of reasons why those thoughts are not me. A big one is thinking, "OK, if I did not already have THIS SPECIFIC habit to binge eat, would I be considering it now?" And the answer is basically always NO, of course. Anyway, I hope some of the strategies and the mindset in BOB are helpful for you!!

Mkroyer- Yep, I can definitely see now that I was giving my binge urges WAY WAY too much significance. Honestly, I'd felt many times like it was just a simple dumb habit, but since that I'd never read kind of any authoritative resource saying that could be the case, I found myself trying to discover what else it might mean, etc. I 100% agree that it is vital not to stay in a big deficit. I kinda kept track and just observed my urges and connection with what I ate, and it's simply that the "animal brain" thoughts are soooo much louder and distracting and hard to ignore when I didn't eat enough. That became obvious very quickly to me!

Psyence- I've read OO too, and heard from people who got a lot out of it! For me, though, the main strategy simply didn't apply. My bingeing was not due to restricting certain foods (in fact, I don't even LIKE the foods I binge on to eat regularly, lol); i binged just to deal with the binge urges and how distracting and awful they felt, and those urges were just the result of a hard-etched habit in my brain. /: So that to say, I would recommend anyone struggling read OO too, but at the same time, if there's anyone for whom that recovery mindset doesn't work, don't be discouraged, because there are other ways, like in BOB, to deal with it!

Thewalrus- that's great you bought it. Let us know how it is! I bought an e-book edition for my iPod too and read it in like half a day, I couldn't put it down, haha. For one, just reading the intro, the authors story was INCREDIBLY similar to my own, almost eerily so, so I think that's one reason that the book was so effective for me. Obviously you're right to not expect a miracle recovery (I sure didn't!) but I hope you at least learn something! You might also read the rest of that blog, and also the BOB forum. You can hear from tons of people both who experienced dramatic changes right away and who still struggled for a bit.

Originally Posted by mkroyer:
Mottaini-
ive been wanting to tell you to read this book for a VERY long time... after reading alot of your posts, and even your more recent ones.. but i didnt want to be rude.... i really feel like you were just giving TOO MUCH ATTENTION to your binging (and she addresses that in the book)

The book helped me, for a bit...... my binging is definitely more under control...its 60% better.. but for a while it was completely better. that only lasted a couple weeks though.
the problem, and she adresses this too, is that this technique wont work (prob) if youre trying to lose weight still.
If youre STILL in a caloric deficit, than your animal brain is STILL going to take over, eventually.. the same physiological response that oriniginally started the behavior will kick in again, if someone continues to try and diet diet down.. its a survival instinct, first and foremost, but after that, it IS habit, and you CAN control it..
Im still trying to lose, but my binging is a LOT better, like i said. but im also, in general, eating more moderately now, as well

I understand that stopping my bingeing and losing weight are 2 very different things. I'd be happy right not to just stop gaining weight to be truthful. I'll be ecstatic if I can stop bingeing, bingeing makes me miserable and feel completely out of control. If I can reduce or eliminate that then I can be my true self all the time... and my true self loooooooooves salad. My bingeing self likes going through a drive-thru and ordering everything on the menu. If I can get away from entering into that zombie state then I think my caloric intake will reduce naturally, possibly by the thousands! Are you saying that stopping bingeing will automatically cause my body to go into survival mode?

It's depressing. It's like I can never win, ever. Like my body is always going to betray me no matter what. Why can't I be like Giada di Laurentis, all she does is cook pasta all day long and is as skinny as a stick.

Originally Posted by mottainai:
Wannabeskinny- It was HARD to completely seperate my higher brain self from the binge urge at first, still is a bit sometimes. One thing I found helpful was just to put an automatic label "JUNK" on ANY thought that popped into my mind related to binging. I may go back and reevaluate it later trying to see if it really was "my" thought or not, but regardless, I made it a new habit that it was instantaneous to think a big "JUNK!!!" on all of them. I also actually had to spend some self-reflection time convincing myself of reasons why those thoughts are not me. A big one is thinking, "OK, if I did not already have THIS SPECIFIC habit to binge eat, would I be considering it now?" And the answer is basically always NO, of course. Anyway, I hope some of the strategies and the mindset in BOB are helpful for you!!

How long has this been working for you? I haven't gotten the book yet but I've read her entire site and the words that reach out to me is "I don't want to be in recovery for the rest of my life." It's not something I want to struggle with day in and day out. I want to have control over my own self. I've tried since yesterday to feed my higher brain. Any thought that comes to mind of food or bingeing I just push it off like "that's just a thought, nothing more." Is that good? I can see though that my animal brain is going to play some tricks on me, I was sitting on the couch watching tv late at night and the vision of a donut popped into my mind. Sneaky little thought! I pushed it away easily but will it always be so easy? I haven't binged in 24hrs though I have no idea if it will last. I'm scared, but the idea that this is neurological habit that my healthy brain can fix makes sense to me. It also helps me realize that I am not a victim - therapy makes me feel like I am a victim of my emotions and the thought of being able to train my brain like a muscle makes me feel powerful.

I don't know if what I just wrote makes sense, it's just all my thoughts spewing out.

Wanna-

It sounds like you're doing great! It's important, I think, to really not put much attention on the binge urge thoughts, because like the book says, the place they're coming from can't be argued or reasoned with anyway. It's normal to be scared, thats actually exactly the way I felt! It's been exactly two weeks since I read the book, and I had one binge in that time actually the day I finished reading it the first time, almost like I was testing myself or something, but other than that, it had TRULY been the EASIEST few weeks of my life not bingeing. At first it was scary, but then it became very freeing.

The animal brain is tricky for sure (not like on purpose trying to be tricky, but you know what I mean). That last binge I had, a major reason was that I listened to the thought that "well, now that I know I can easily stop bingeing any time, might as well do it once more!" lol.

One thing I will tell you: really truly internalizing the fact that the urges are purely "junk" is a major factor. Once I had truly understood and believed that, after re-reading the book a few times and thinking about it, I found myself much less even wanting to try and engage with the urge. It became like boring, actually. My "higher brain" really realized, yeah I'm thinking it'll be a good fun idea to binge, but I can't forget that I believe it's actually junk, and I really don't want to do something that's simply following a nonsense urge! It became just unappealing, in a way I could never have imagined in the past. It used to hold some strange appeal when I thought things like, I binge because I'm special, because it has some significance and some real benefit for me, and it's something I can't resist! But once I believed it was purely just a HABIT that meant nothing, and that it is possible to ignore and live without, the feeling of wanting to continue doing it just *went away somehow.

On the subject of not dieting, one thought you can maybe find safety in is, once you understand and believe that you'll never need to give in to the urge to binge again, you have so much more freedom to eat! There's no longer any need to restrict as a countermeasure against future binges, because you know there doesn't have to e any! I was amazed at that idea, haha, it really helped me. (:

Originally Posted by mottainai:
Wanna-

It sounds like you're doing great! It's important, I think, to really not put much attention on the binge urge thoughts, because like the book says, the place they're coming from can't be argued or reasoned with anyway. It's normal to be scared, thats actually exactly the way I felt! It's been exactly two weeks since I read the book, and I had one binge in that time actually the day I finished reading it the first time, almost like I was testing myself or something, but other than that, it had TRULY been the EASIEST few weeks of my life not bingeing. At first it was scary, but then it became very freeing.

The animal brain is tricky for sure (not like on purpose trying to be tricky, but you know what I mean). That last binge I had, a major reason was that I listened to the thought that "well, now that I know I can easily stop bingeing any time, might as well do it once more!" lol.

One thing I will tell you: really truly internalizing the fact that the urges are purely "junk" is a major factor. Once I had truly understood and believed that, after re-reading the book a few times and thinking about it, I found myself much less even wanting to try and engage with the urge. It became like boring, actually. My "higher brain" really realized, yeah I'm thinking it'll be a good fun idea to binge, but I can't forget that I believe it's actually junk, and I really don't want to do something that's simply following a nonsense urge! It became just unappealing, in a way I could never have imagined in the past. It used to hold some strange appeal when I thought things like, I binge because I'm special, because it has some significance and some real benefit for me, and it's something I can't resist! But once I believed it was purely just a HABIT that meant nothing, and that it is possible to ignore and live without, the feeling of wanting to continue doing it just *went away somehow.

On the subject of not dieting, one thought you can maybe find safety in is, once you understand and believe that you'll never need to give in to the urge to binge again, you have so much more freedom to eat! There's no longer any need to restrict as a countermeasure against future binges, because you know there doesn't have to e any! I was amazed at that idea, haha, it really helped me. (:

Your enthusiasm is contagious. I admit I'm skeptical so I'll be tracking your progress (not a stalky creepy kind of way though haha!) I mean I'll just try to stay connected to this thread for support is what I mean.

I was thinking that same thing, sometimes I meet people and they're just crazy. You can't argue or reason with them and I always say "you can't reason with crazy." And now I'm treating that binge voice like one of those annoying people that I don't bother with.

Not that I believe this will be easy but it gives me hope that it has been easy for you not to binge.

Some other things I've been saying to myself when I'm having an urge are:

- that's just my animal brain saying that; I'm not an animal
- that's nothing more than a thought, let it pass.
- Junk thought
- I'm not going to think with that brain.

What do you tell yourself besides junk? Let's come up with a list of things we can say to ourselves when the urges come.

One thing I'm trying NOT to do is to engage with my urges like the author says. I'm trying not to argue with my thoughts or say stuff like "I WONT eat that" because it makes me want it more lol. So simple, I had no idea it could be effective.

Originally Posted by Wannabeskinny:
Your enthusiasm is contagious. I admit I'm skeptical so I'll be tracking your progress (not a stalky creepy kind of way though haha!) I mean I'll just try to stay connected to this thread for support is what I mean.

I was thinking that same thing, sometimes I meet people and they're just crazy. You can't argue or reason with them and I always say "you can't reason with crazy." And now I'm treating that binge voice like one of those annoying people that I don't bother with.

Not that I believe this will be easy but it gives me hope that it has been easy for you not to binge.

Some other things I've been saying to myself when I'm having an urge are:

- that's just my animal brain saying that; I'm not an animal
- that's nothing more than a thought, let it pass.
- Junk thought
- I'm not going to think with that brain.

What do you tell yourself besides junk? Let's come up with a list of things we can say to ourselves when the urges come.

One thing I'm trying NOT to do is to engage with my urges like the author says. I'm trying not to argue with my thoughts or say stuff like "I WONT eat that" because it makes me want it more lol. So simple, I had no idea it could be effective.

I just read your post to me in the other thread (the one started by walrus). I completely agree that this book was life-changing. Like I said in my other post, I was in therapy with an ED specialist and did CBT for quite a while. It "kind of" worked while I was devoting a LOT of time/energy to it, but I also felt that during that time it was a freakin' DAILY struggle (along with every other method I've tried). After reading this book (2-3 weeks ago I read it) I haven't felt that way at all and I have not binged or even really wanted to. A few observations from my own experience:

1) I am not that far into it. 2.5 weeks or so. So, things could change; however, I've never gone more than a few days without a STRONG compulsion to binge. So, in the past, even if I stretch together a week or two of no bingeing, it was also extremely draining to be fighting the urges every day.

2. Since I'm still trying to get my footing I haven't worried too much about dieting, per se. I do need to lose weight, so that might be the test when I start cutting down more on caloric intake (though I will do so very modestly) it still may have an effect. Will keep you posted.

3. Fighting of the urges: If you start looking at this in the context the author suggests, it's not the kind of struggle you're used to with fighting off binges. It's the difference between a light push and a knock-down drag-out fight (what it used to be with me). I *really* started to look at my urges/compulsion to binge as a primal beast; It may sound ridiculous but I picture Animal (remember that guy from The Muppets, LOL?) banging a drum, screaming for food. It's laughable how ridiculous it would be to listen to him when I'm not hungry. It's almost more like an "outer body"/objective experience to look at Animal and say "Shhh, stop being so crazy. I don't need to binge to survive."

4. What a breath of fresh air to know that I don't have to come to terms with every dang issue I've ever had in my life/deal with issues from childhood/learn to cope effectively/learn to positive self-talk/become spirtually enlightened/be personally fulfilled to STOP bingeing. I've been a binge eater for nearly 25 years and if I had just known this, that information in itself would have helped with the actual behavior.

Disclaimer -- This is *very* new to me, but it FEELS SO different than anything I've done in the past. I really am not fighting with myself every day. I honestly feel more free than I have in years and years.

I hope you have success with this too.

One other thing I did that may sound silly, but it kind of helped. I looked at a few youtube videos where people had taped their binges (they were in FF). If you look at someone else bingeing (as an outsider) it looks crazy... because it IS. I really don't feel like myself when I am bingeing and I know many other people report that too. So, now, I think of those videos and how I felt to be watching someone to that to themselves and I can seperate more easily that "animal" part of myself -- the part that is wanting to binge.

Originally Posted by Wannabeskinny:
Your enthusiasm is contagious. I admit I'm skeptical so I'll be tracking your progress (not a stalky creepy kind of way though haha!) I mean I'll just try to stay connected to this thread for support is what I mean.

Haha, yes, please track my progress. I'm really interested to see how this plays out as well....I'm feeling enthusiastic right now, but I simply cannot know if it really keeps up like this!

Originally Posted by Wannabeskinny:
Some other things I've been saying to myself when I'm having an urge are:

- that's just my animal brain saying that; I'm not an animal
- that's nothing more than a thought, let it pass.
- Junk thought
- I'm not going to think with that brain.

What do you tell yourself besides junk? Let's come up with a list of things we can say to ourselves when the urges come.

To be honest, I really try to stick to as short and simple things as possible, like my first reactions: usually it's "junk," "shut up," or "go away." Haha. I also have been trying to so some like mindfulness and check my body, like if my breathing is heavy or my heart is quick or I'm feeling pressure in my chest, things that come from the anxiety I've always associated with getting urges. And when I feel those, I think things like, "It can't hurt me. Urges can't make me do anything. It's just a habit," just to work on calming down.

Keep posting, I'm eager to track your progress as well!!

Originally Posted by KrisM394:
4. What a breath of fresh air to know that I don't have to come to terms with every dang issue I've ever had in my life/deal with issues from childhood/learn to cope effectively/learn to positive self-talk/become spirtually enlightened/be personally fulfilled to STOP bingeing. I've been a binge eater for nearly 25 years and if I had just known this, that information in itself would have helped with the actual behavior.

THIS. Oh my gosh, that was an amazing concept for me as well, really.

I'm intrigued... :)

Originally Posted by KrisM394:
I just read your post to me in the other thread (the one started by walrus). I completely agree that this book was life-changing. Like I said in my other post, I was in therapy with an ED specialist and did CBT for quite a while. It "kind of" worked while I was devoting a LOT of time/energy to it, but I also felt that during that time it was a freakin' DAILY struggle (along with every other method I've tried). After reading this book (2-3 weeks ago I read it) I haven't felt that way at all and I have not binged or even really wanted to. A few observations from my own experience:

Yes exactly, the daily struggle from meal to meal, from one bite of food to the next. It feels like constant punishment. I don't want to be an addict in the sense that I'll always be a binge-eater in recovery.

1) I am not that far into it. 2.5 weeks or so. So, things could change; however, I've never gone more than a few days without a STRONG compulsion to binge. So, in the past, even if I stretch together a week or two of no bingeing, it was also extremely draining to be fighting the urges every day.

I'm in this for the 3 day. I'm not making any huge claims. But I haven't binged and it hasn't been that hard. I think what makes this feel different to me is that I've always felt that the binger was my true self and that I had to change my true self. But I think I understand now that's not who I am, I am a healthy person I have accomplished a great many things, the binger is NOT me, it's an annoying animal brain I have to ignore, not cope with.

2. Since I'm still trying to get my footing I haven't worried too much about dieting, per se. I do need to lose weight, so that might be the test when I start cutting down more on caloric intake (though I will do so very modestly) it still may have an effect. Will keep you posted.

As I suspected, my caloric intake is drastically reduced. That's because when I'm "sane" I eat like a normal person does, like the calorie counter I used to be that I never switched off. But I was jekyll and hyde, and when I was in my binge zone I consumed calories. Now that Mr Hyde is being ignored I'm my natural nutritious self. I'm not worrying about calories but I am aware of them, can't help it. I hope that doesn't get me into trouble.

3. Fighting of the urges: If you start looking at this in the context the author suggests, it's not the kind of struggle you're used to with fighting off binges. It's the difference between a light push and a knock-down drag-out fight (what it used to be with me). I *really* started to look at my urges/compulsion to binge as a primal beast; It may sound ridiculous but I picture Animal (remember that guy from The Muppets, LOL?) banging a drum, screaming for food. It's laughable how ridiculous it would be to listen to him when I'm not hungry. It's almost more like an "outer body"/objective experience to look at Animal and say "Shhh, stop being so crazy. I don't need to binge to survive." I love Animal from the Muppets!

...
Disclaimer -- This is *very* new to me, but it FEELS SO different than anything I've done in the past. I really am not fighting with myself every day. I honestly feel more free than I have in years and years.

Part of what makes me think this is different is my shift in self-image. For the past several months my sense of confidence comes from getting on the scale in the morning, and putting on my clothes. Lately it's been bad news day in and day out. My emergency fat clothes are too small right now. It's devastating and a reminder of my constant failure. Yesterday though, I tried on one pair of "fat pants" that I hoped would fit me and they didn't fit again. But it didn't devastate me!! I have no idea why but what came into my head was "oh well, I'm sure they'll fit in a week or 2, this is not my real body, it's the body of the binger and I'm not that person." Also, I get extremely uncomfortable being around all my skinny friends. But the past couple of days I haven't sweated it because now I know that they're not better than me, I know that I have the same power over food that they do, and I'm like them now - meaning I have the same relationship to food that they do now. I don't feel like a victim.

I hope you have success with this too.

:carrot:

Originally Posted by mottainai:
THIS. Oh my gosh, that was an amazing concept for me as well, really.

I HAVE come to terms with every darn issue in my life. Therapy has helped me explore my need to binge and made me realize something very very very important. It helped me understand that when my bingeing began as a teenager I was in a vulnerable state, coping with some pretty difficult situations. Because I didn't know how to cope with such heavy stuff I developed the habit of bingeing for comfort. In essence it was my way of taking care of myself. It was a huge revelation and I'm glad I went into therapy.

Unfortunately, all the big revelations about the inner me that came through in therapy did nothing to change my binges. So I kept uncovering and uncovering, and blaming myself, and thinking that I must be such a messed up person that there is no recovery from this. I thought I was depressed. But I'm not depressed, I love my life and my job and my friends and my future. I have some stress, but who doesn't? The President has stress but you don't see him gorging on fast food lol.

Anyway, the point is that I'm done with therapy. It's great, it's made me understand so much about myself, and I am not opposed to going back to therapy - it's just not a cure that's all. I want to LIVE my life, not dissect it anymore.

Originally Posted by Wannabeskinny:
I HAVE come to terms with every darn issue in my life. Therapy has helped me explore my need to binge and made me realize something very very very important. It helped me understand that when my bingeing began as a teenager I was in a vulnerable state, coping with some pretty difficult situations. Because I didn't know how to cope with such heavy stuff I developed the habit of bingeing for comfort. In essence it was my way of taking care of myself. It was a huge revelation and I'm glad I went into therapy.

Unfortunately, all the big revelations about the inner me that came through in therapy did nothing to change my binges. So I kept uncovering and uncovering, and blaming myself, and thinking that I must be such a messed up person that there is no recovery from this. I thought I was depressed. But I'm not depressed, I love my life and my job and my friends and my future. I have some stress, but who doesn't? The President has stress but you don't see him gorging on fast food lol.

Anyway, the point is that I'm done with therapy. It's great, it's made me understand so much about myself, and I am not opposed to going back to therapy - it's just not a cure that's all. I want to LIVE my life, not dissect it anymore.

Yes, I totally agree. I'm not bashing therapy- I love it actually! I've had a couple of really amazing therapists that really changed my life. It's just that therapy didn't cure the binge behavior, that's all. (:

The other thing I was referring to that I liked about the book though was the fact that it reminds us we don't have to fix ourselves or our lives in order to avoid all "triggers," since they can only trigger URGES and urges are actually harmless if you know how to deal with them. It was so overwhelming for me before: I thought I had to avoid feeling sad or anxious or busy or depressed or "fat" (or happy, satisfied, relaxed, etc. too, lol). I tried setting up my life a lot of times in ways just so that I'd have lots of free time and no pressure, a lot like the author herself did, just so it would hopefully lead to less binge urges, and then get frustrated when it didn't work.

Originally Posted by Wannabeskinny:
I HAVE come to terms with every darn issue in my life. Therapy has helped me explore my need to binge and made me realize something very very very important. It helped me understand that when my bingeing began as a teenager I was in a vulnerable state, coping with some pretty difficult situations. Because I didn't know how to cope with such heavy stuff I developed the habit of bingeing for comfort. In essence it was my way of taking care of myself. It was a huge revelation and I'm glad I went into therapy.

Unfortunately, all the big revelations about the inner me that came through in therapy did nothing to change my binges. So I kept uncovering and uncovering, and blaming myself, and thinking that I must be such a messed up person that there is no recovery from this. I thought I was depressed. But I'm not depressed, I love my life and my job and my friends and my future. I have some stress, but who doesn't? The President has stress but you don't see him gorging on fast food lol.

Anyway, the point is that I'm done with therapy. It's great, it's made me understand so much about myself, and I am not opposed to going back to therapy - it's just not a cure that's all. I want to LIVE my life, not dissect it anymore.

Yes, exactly!!! The chapter in last part of the book about therapy completely made sense as to how it "fits in" to the bigger picture but does not "cure" the behavior of bingeing. I do believe therapy can be very helpful in a lot of ways, but it did not stop me from bingeing. One of the "aha" moments I had while reading the book (and I had many! lol) was the notion that regardless of how stable/unstable, happy/unhappy, etc, etc, there were *still* urges to binge. That's what was so frustrating! Yeah, I've had problems in my life, but I'm not always walking around like a hot mess. Even when I was feeling happy and emotionally stable I *still* had urges to binge. So, then it became a self-fulfilling prophecy of sorts. I'd think, "well, something must be wrong with me that I'm still missing," / binge / feel like a failure / repeat cycle.

I don't know . . . admittedly, part of me thinks this is too good to be true . . . because it's been working *so* well, but it also is reassuring I am not alone in feeling this way. Let's keep checking in with each other and see how things progress. So far, it's very encouraging. :)

Very encouraging indeed. It sounds like we've all had similar experiences with therapy... it's great but it doesn't cure bingeing. Yes bingeing is worse when I'm super stressed but I like to binge on vacation too, and on my days off, etc. It made me second guess myself like "I thought I was happy but my therapist is telling me that I'm not." So then I wasn't happy. ?????

Third day, feeling good.

Got myself the book yesterday, am a ltitle over 1/3 in, and... seriously, my heartfelt thanks to those here who suggested reading it. It seems to explain A LOT of things regarding my own binge eating disorder.

Mostly my binges have already backed off, though not completely gone, and while reading the book, I started to ponder about that, because:
What really got me to get rid of most of my urges weren't self-help books, therapy (I had a few sessions with a psychologist a couple of years ago), journalling my emotions, etc. Sure, considering the psychological aspects, reflecting about those, helped in other ways. But not with bingeing.
What got me mostly rid of the urges was not being physically able to eat, this past spring. So everytime a urge surfaced, I had to stare at it coldly, in a detached way, and say "Right now, I don't have the teeth I need to eat. Urges or no urges, I'm unable to eat. End of the story." There was no other way. Giving in to emotional thought would only lead to self-pitying, and it happened once or twice, and then I stopped because I had to focus on exams anyway.

I won't deny that there must've been a few emotional triggers at some point in my life. For instance, restricting and feeling frustrated because I was on a diet was a major one (this is the reason why I mostly don't count calories nor weigh daily anymore). But now I also wonder if at some point, that whole bingeing thing hadn't become an ingrained habit more than a crutch to cope. When I couldn't eat much during a few months, I didn't find myself malfunctioning, emotionally devastated, or anything; does this mean that my binges weren't helping in any way, or so little that whether they're here or not, it doesn't soothe my problems? What their absence did soothe, though, was all the guilt and self-deprecating thoughts.

I'm definitely going to read this book through and through, and try that method. I think I somewhat tried it without knowing it a few months ago, as I wrote above, but without knowing what I was doing. If now I do, maybe it will help for good this time?

Day 4, still on track although yesterday was confusing. No binges thank goodness but I'm not entirely happy with how my eating was. I felt hungrier than the previous couple of days and I ate when I felt hungry though not too much. Please allow me to explain what I ate:

6am- protein bar
10am - 2 scrambled eggs, slice of ham, 1 slice whole grain toast with honey
3pm - leg and thigh of roasted chicken (freshly made, low salt)
7pm - haldful of trailmix (peanuts, m&m's, raisins, sunflower seeds)
11pm - 1 strawberry frozen margarita and god knows how many tortilla chips with guacamole :(

So none of this was really a binge as none of the eating behavior falls into binge-mode for me, none of it was secretive. However, I am unhappy about the honey I put on the bread, I am unhappy about the m&m's in the trailmix, and upset about the tortilla chips though not about the guacamole nor the margarita (avocados are a super food, and I rarely ever drink and it was a celebration with friends).

So while I am happy I did not binge I am also upset about some of the things I ate and it becomes confusing because having any kind of negative feelings about food relates too closely to bingeing in my mind. I'm not sure I'm explaining it right but I had the sense of failure at the end of the day even though I didn't binge and it might have to do with the fact that I felt bloated like I feel after a binge. I'm still waiting to receive my book but is there any mention of this type of thing in the book?

Yay for everyone who is experiencing some success!! I love hearing it. (:

wanna- you may want to check out the BOB blog website. There are a lot of good articles there, and also great reader comments and questions that the author has answered!

I don't want to post here too often, since the idea is to let go of the bingeing and not focus undue attention and brain activity on the habit, but I am very glad for all of you working on this and it's great to hear that others got a lot out of the book like I did!

I started reading it yesterday and I have to say, she sounds exaclty like me as well.

I even struggled with anorexia when I was younger, like she describes, though I never did get sickly thin because I started partying and drinking a lot.

I am looking forward to finishing this book. I hope there is something in here for me. I think the first step for me was realizing it's not my willpower, it's a disorder, and then going from there and finding books and stories like this.

It's good to know I'm not broken, just a little dented. ^.^

Originally Posted by Wannabeskinny:
Day 4, still on track although yesterday was confusing. No binges thank goodness but I'm not entirely happy with how my eating was. I felt hungrier than the previous couple of days and I ate when I felt hungry though not too much. Please allow me to explain what I ate:

6am- protein bar
10am - 2 scrambled eggs, slice of ham, 1 slice whole grain toast with honey
3pm - leg and thigh of roasted chicken (freshly made, low salt)
7pm - haldful of trailmix (peanuts, m&m's, raisins, sunflower seeds)
11pm - 1 strawberry frozen margarita and god knows how many tortilla chips with guacamole :(

So none of this was really a binge as none of the eating behavior falls into binge-mode for me, none of it was secretive. However, I am unhappy about the honey I put on the bread, I am unhappy about the m&m's in the trailmix, and upset about the tortilla chips though not about the guacamole nor the margarita (avocados are a super food, and I rarely ever drink and it was a celebration with friends).

So while I am happy I did not binge I am also upset about some of the things I ate and it becomes confusing because having any kind of negative feelings about food relates too closely to bingeing in my mind. I'm not sure I'm explaining it right but I had the sense of failure at the end of the day even though I didn't binge and it might have to do with the fact that I felt bloated like I feel after a binge. I'm still waiting to receive my book but is there any mention of this type of thing in the book?

I can relate because yesterday was the first day since reading the book where my urge to binge almost took over -- not-so-coincidentally, yesterday was the first day since reading the book where I *also* was trying to be much more mindful of what I was eating. The past two weeks, I've just been eating what I feel like/when I'm hungry and not paying much mind to anything else. It worked great; however, I really want to lose weight. I'm not happy with the weight I'm at now.

She does say in the book this method is *very* difficult if you're restricting, so that of course makes it tough to lose weight and stick to this. I reminded myself yesterday -- I choose not bingeing first and foremost because I do believe weight loss will follow eventually. In fact, over these two weeks I've lost four lbs. just because I'm not full of bloat from bingeing. Considering my weight has fluctuated SO much for 20 + yrs. due to bingeing, I'm just going to have to remind myself not to be overly upset with any one food choice because I'm reprogramming my brain not to binge and *any* sort of restriction is going to lead to stronger/more urges to binge. I"ll take a 2 lb. weight loss in a year if I have to over going back to bingeing. Oh how I wish I would have found this book while I was at my goal weight!!!

Originally Posted by mottainai:
Yay for everyone who is experiencing some success!! I love hearing it. (:

wanna- you may want to check out the BOB blog website. There are a lot of good articles there, and also great reader comments and questions that the author has answered!

I don't want to post here too often, since the idea is to let go of the bingeing and not focus undue attention and brain activity on the habit, but I am very glad for all of you working on this and it's great to hear that others got a lot out of the book like I did!

Yes, you're definitely right in not focusing too much attention on it. I am so glad you're doing well also and I truly think you're in the perfect position to implement it because you're in maintenance and don't have to worry about the restriction triggering more urges. Keep at it! :)

Originally Posted by thewalrus0:
I started reading it yesterday and I have to say, she sounds exaclty like me as well.

I even struggled with anorexia when I was younger, like she describes, though I never did get sickly thin because I started partying and drinking a lot.

I am looking forward to finishing this book. I hope there is something in here for me. I think the first step for me was realizing it's not my willpower, it's a disorder, and then going from there and finding books and stories like this.

It's good to know I'm not broken, just a little dented. ^.^

I hope you find something in the book that resonates as much as it did for some of us. It's very empowering to know maybe we *don't* have to struggle with this the rest of our lives. I know, for me, it has affected so many aspects of my life and I'm tired of fighting it. Let us know what you think of the rest of it!!! :)

Originally Posted by Kery:
Got myself the book yesterday, am a ltitle over 1/3 in, and... seriously, my heartfelt thanks to those here who suggested reading it. It seems to explain A LOT of things regarding my own binge eating disorder.

Mostly my binges have already backed off, though not completely gone, and while reading the book, I started to ponder about that, because:
What really got me to get rid of most of my urges weren't self-help books, therapy (I had a few sessions with a psychologist a couple of years ago), journalling my emotions, etc. Sure, considering the psychological aspects, reflecting about those, helped in other ways. But not with bingeing.
What got me mostly rid of the urges was not being physically able to eat, this past spring. So everytime a urge surfaced, I had to stare at it coldly, in a detached way, and say "Right now, I don't have the teeth I need to eat. Urges or no urges, I'm unable to eat. End of the story." There was no other way. Giving in to emotional thought would only lead to self-pitying, and it happened once or twice, and then I stopped because I had to focus on exams anyway.

I won't deny that there must've been a few emotional triggers at some point in my life. For instance, restricting and feeling frustrated because I was on a diet was a major one (this is the reason why I mostly don't count calories nor weigh daily anymore). But now I also wonder if at some point, that whole bingeing thing hadn't become an ingrained habit more than a crutch to cope. When I couldn't eat much during a few months, I didn't find myself malfunctioning, emotionally devastated, or anything; does this mean that my binges weren't helping in any way, or so little that whether they're here or not, it doesn't soothe my problems? What their absence did soothe, though, was all the guilt and self-deprecating thoughts.

I'm definitely going to read this book through and through, and try that method. I think I somewhat tried it without knowing it a few months ago, as I wrote above, but without knowing what I was doing. If now I do, maybe it will help for good this time?

That is very interesting and it seems like your experience really validates the theory. Gosh, I never would have thought about that but a while ago I had jaw surgery and I certainly wasn't having urges to binge during that time either (and I couldn't eat). Hmmmmm. That's the thing with binges -- for me, it wasn't *always* about being in a bad place emotionally. Maybe because we (as binge eaters) are lead to believe bingeing results from not being able to cope emotionally we only notice the times when stress precedes our binges. During therapy, I conveniently forgot all of the binges that were preceded by emotional stability / happiness. OR, I started to falsely believe that maybe I really *wasn't* emotionally stable/coping even though I was. (If any of that makes sense, lol)

Yeah, I had started wondering about that, because there were moments I was quite happy yet still binged--and periods, like now, when I'm unhappy with my life as a whole, but don't feel like bingeing. If it was a purely psychological manifestation of me having issues, wouldn't it be triggered like mad these days?

So it really makes sense to me, now that I'm reading this book, that it had become more of a habit than anything else, a habit that my teeth/jaw problems broke by force, so to speak, and now it feels easier not to fall back in it, my brain being 'less wired' for it. (TBH I do have a few moments when I clearly overeat, but they're more of the enjoy-tasty-gourmet-foods-I-like type, without the mounting urges, the feelings of guilt, and all the other crap usually associated to binges. Heh, I'm French, and thus entitled by blood and birth to enjoying good foods, not banning them from my life. ;))

As a sidenote, today I managed to sit in front of the TV for 4 hours in a row, something I hadn't done in a long time, without bingeing. TV being a major 'trigger' for me, to the point of me not watching it much (and missing a lot of series I'd like to see!) just because of the fear of bingeing. And I didn't binge. I used to consider watching TV a trigger, because "it's a passive activity / I'm not active while doing it / I'm not doing anything with my hands / maybe I'm secretly feeling guilty about not doing anything constructive yadda-yadda [insert self-analysis to the power of ten here]", but come to think of it... we're just as "passive" when sitting at the movies, yet I never feel like bingeing in a theatre. So is TV really an *emotional* trigger? Or just a place where I developed a habit of bingeing, which I never did for theatres? Food for thought, huh.

And I do relate with the author about the dieting as original trigger part. I've always had a tendency to overeat when I was younger, but it was kind of 'light' (like, 2 bowls of cereal instead of 1 in the morning (but not more) or enjoying 2 slices of cake instead of 1 at family gatherings--without any associated associated, without any desire to isolate myself to eat, in other words: nothing close to what my binges would later be). And what a coincidence that a couple of years after I really started counting, which spiralled into restricting ("I can't have an apple it's 90 CALORIES OH MY GOD TOO MUCH!"), bam! There it was, binge eating disorder.

So. Not saying BED can't have an emotional/psychological basis. But I doubt that it's the major part *for me*. I very likely fall into the habit-binger more than anything else. And in hindsight, all of this really makes more sense now.

Yeah!

I've had perfectly normal days. I was literally searching my brain for any reason I might have had to binge. I would wake up, do yoga, meditate, have an awesome day at work and school, make an amazing dinner, read or draw...I'd be so content with myself and my life but suddenly that stupid urge would creep up and I'd give in.

The next day I'm asking myself "Wth were you doing?". I eventually started thinking maybe throughout the day I feel upset with my body being so overweight that it builds up and manifests as binge but I really don't think that's true, because I generally don't hate myself or my body. I do have moments throughout the day, like when I am picking out clothes for work or taking a lot of stairs, where I think "I wish I were slimmer..." but it doesn't hit hard or send me into a spiral of depresssion or anything. It's just a passive thought that is a little sad, but since I've been working on my disordered eating habits I haven't spent much time being sad about my weight because I realize the first thing I need to conquer are my disordered habits so I can eat healthier and lose.

Anyways...in a nutshell, I have had binges on good days and bad, on melancholy days and on super busy days, on stressful days and relaxing days...

and I have always been wondering what it is that's set me off. I suppose if anything does it it's being too tired. When I am really tired I just snap and start eating. I wonder it that's because I exert so much energy trying not to binge that when I'm tired or worn out I just can't find that energy in myself to stop the binge.

The prospect of being able to live my life without disordered eating is almost like a crazy fantasy to me. I have always either been too restricted or eating too much, and when I'm actually losing weight healthily I'm always fighting the binges.

I could easily lose 60-80 lbs this year, if I could just move past the binging. It's actually scary to think that people have beat binge eating and haven't got up every morning scared that this will be the day they fall to pieces again, out of their control..

But I'm feeling good after seeing all the positive responses on here. I think BED is a little treated and little studied disorder and that, like alcoholism or drug addiction, there needs to be a variety of treatments to help instead of one.

One thing I will add: like a couple of you mentioned, I'm INCREDIBLY thankful I found this book when I did, at a time (the first time in many many years, since before I started getting out of control with BED actually) I'm actually pretty happy about my weight and not super anxious about losing. Being able to relax about my intake a bit and not worry about restricting is do helpful. I really admire those of you going at this while still knowing you want to lose weight too. I can imagine it must be doubly hard, resisting the urge to restrict, which is much more ego-syntonic, like she writes in the book. I feel like I got off easy, lol. I likely would not be faring so well otherwise-- the restriction/binge cycle was HUGE for me.

I ended up buying the book last night and finished it today. Definitely helpful, following the advice seems to be working well so far, though it's only been a day.

Originally Posted by thewalrus0:
Yeah!

I've had perfectly normal days. I was literally searching my brain for any reason I might have had to binge. I would wake up, do yoga, meditate, have an awesome day at work and school, make an amazing dinner, read or draw...I'd be so content with myself and my life but suddenly that stupid urge would creep up and I'd give in.

.

I know that feeling so well. It's like walking a tight-rope. You do really well all day long and then you fall off and suddenly there you are bingeing and you have no idea why. I always chalked it up to "I can't do it, I'm no good at being good."

Overeating is often referred to as an addiction like alcoholism or drugs. But part of the treatment plan for those things is complete abstinence. If you decide to recover from alcoholism you can never drink again, end of story. We often think "oh but we need food to live on, we can't stop eating" which is true but we do NOT need to binge to live, do we? So that we can cut out immediately.

Originally Posted by Wannabeskinny:
We often think "oh but we need food to live on, we can't stop eating" which is true but we do NOT need to binge to live, do we? So that we can cut out immediately.

Bingo!!!!! We do NOT need to binge to survive.

I, too, came from a history of severe dieting . . .actually at the young age of 11 I was dieting. That's also when I started bingeing. That's *also* when my parents split up so that became a MAJOR red herring as to why my binge behavior started. (I always attributed it to me not coping with their divorce.) As she explained in the book, I may have been more susceptible to low self-mage/dieting at the time, but that's really the only connection with divorce/bingeing. The *real* problem was my restrictive dieting at such a young age.

Originally Posted by thewalrus0:
It's actually scary to think that people have beat binge eating and haven't got up every morning scared that this will be the day they fall to pieces again, out of their control...

This is another of the reasons the book is interesting IMHO. What is scary in a lot of approaches is the "one day at a time" aspect. I mean, I DON'T want to get up every morning thinking "I have to be careful: the urges may be creeping back today, or maybe not, or maybe they'll do after I go to bed, who knows?" Is that really being recovered? Is that the only prospect we can expect? Who would actually rejoice at the prospect of living in fear? And there are more important things out there to actually worry about than stupid food and stupid junky urges.

So, well, if there's another possible approach, something that can give us a little more hope than "you've got to keep constant vigilance for years on end", it's really worth checking. :)

I have to say I'm really glad to be hearing from all of you. I was starting to feel very...alone. I always read that line, "You're not alone." and it didn't mean much to me. I know people have disordered eating all over the world, but you don't realize until you're really talking to people who are experiencing it that you really aren't alone and, while I wish none of us were fighting this, I am glad that I've found people who really understand.

People are always saying things like 'eat less and move more, that's all you have to do' and I just want to shake them! I know that's all I have to do, but there's this silly binging problem getting in the way!

After hearing those things over time I start to think, "Well maybe I am crazy, or broken or lazy or insatiable. Perhaps I will never get better because I'm not strong enough..." and then I hear from all of you. It re-inspires me. I want so badly, for all of us, to find what will help us overcome this. And not just battle it away day in and day out, trying desperately to hang on, but to really be free from it.

I think, if anyone wants to, I would like very much to PM or email with someone, maybe every week. We don't have to be 'diet buddys', and we don't have to talk about binging everyday. In fact, we should talk about other things! Because binging doesn't warrant that much attention. If anyone would like to PM me I would be happy to exchange emails or PMs. :)

In any case, you're all in my heart and I hope the best for each of us.

Ok, I'm coming clean: I'm struggling today!
For all my confidence and enthusiasm, I'm having difficulty this time...

I'm experiencing strong binge urges, have been pretty consistently for some hours, and I'll admit, I've been engaging with the thoughts rather than distancing myself.

I ate generously, hoping that would at least quiet the urges, but they're definitely still coming.

The animal brain is translating the urges into very convincing arguments: "I am thin enough that I can afford a binge," "Tomorrow is my last chance to binge for a month(last day I'll be at school for classes)," "Just one binge won't make any noticeable difference in my appearance to anyone," etc.

I KNOW it's just lower brain habit thoughts because 1) my higher brain is definitely saying no, and I know I really want to eat healthfully, especially this last week before I leave on vacation, and 2) all the many "reasons" I have to binge only make sense in the context of already having the urge to binge and reacting to it.

I KNOW all this, and I'm hoping that writing it down will help me to view these thoughts objectively from a distance and decide to not act on them. I guess I'm just having difficulty dismissing them as pure junk, giving them more attention than they're worth!

I don't want to give in especially after writing this thread about how my life was so changed and I was feeling so confident, haha....

Comments appreciated!

Originally Posted by thewalrus0:
I have to say I'm really glad to be hearing from all of you. I was starting to feel very...alone. I always read that line, "You're not alone." and it didn't mean much to me. I know people have disordered eating all over the world, but you don't realize until you're really talking to people who are experiencing it that you really aren't alone and, while I wish none of us were fighting this, I am glad that I've found people who really understand.

People are always saying things like 'eat less and move more, that's all you have to do' and I just want to shake them! I know that's all I have to do, but there's this silly binging problem getting in the way!

After hearing those things over time I start to think, "Well maybe I am crazy, or broken or lazy or insatiable. Perhaps I will never get better because I'm not strong enough..." and then I hear from all of you. It re-inspires me. I want so badly, for all of us, to find what will help us overcome this. And not just battle it away day in and day out, trying desperately to hang on, but to really be free from it.

I think, if anyone wants to, I would like very much to PM or email with someone, maybe every week. We don't have to be 'diet buddys', and we don't have to talk about binging everyday. In fact, we should talk about other things! Because binging doesn't warrant that much attention. If anyone would like to PM me I would be happy to exchange emails or PMs. :)

In any case, you're all in my heart and I hope the best for each of us.

You are definitely *not* alone. I also know around the holidays there is a lot of talk about overeating and blah, blah, blah . . . but bingeing is a totally different animal, so to speak! lol I kind of internally groan when someone calls eating an extra piece of pie a "binge" !! Of course I would never reveal how much I can put away in an actual binge, but overeating is *completely* different. Overeating is something a sane person does when there's yummy food and they want more of it. Bingeing is an act of temporary insanity (as we're not using our higher brains to reason).

I honestly don't think (anymore anyways) we are broken beyond repair or even that this is something we have to fight every day. I don't want to be in "recovery" the rest of my life either.

I'm not sure how to PM on here? Maybe it's because I"m not a full member yet, but if I do get it set up I'll let you know! I know we shouldn't be putting too much focus on bingeing either, but it won't hurt to keep checking in here periodically -- it really hasn't triggered anything with me yet.

Thanks for your support and you are all in my heart too; I believe we can all overcome this. We may have all gotten here via different paths, but they've converged now and that is meaningful. :)

BTW, I keep going back to an "image" when I think about higher/lower brain etc. and your little namaste avatar is what I picture hovering over my higher brain! I actually was going to make a drawing of that last week! For my lower brain, I picture Animal from the muppets or a figureless, goop. :D If I think of that image, it helps me to seperate them more.