[Jelbb]

Hey ladies!

So, I've been struggling with this for years. It's only in the last 6 months or so that I identified the fact that this behaviour is an ED... and I've had it since I was at least 12. While my widowed mother was working, I would take care of my own meals... trips back and forth from the couch to the fridge, binging on whatever we had, full boxes of mac and cheese, half loaves of bread, cereal and sometimes making Frankenstein concoctions of pseudo-cookie dough with butter, sugar, flour and peanut butter to satisfy binge cravings for sweet.

Now that I've identified the fact that I do indeed have a full-blown Binge Eating Disorder, and have had it since I was a tween, I'm hard-pressed to believe that I can just use simple will power to change my ingrained behaviours.

I was wondering if any of the ladies here have sought professional help-- whether it be books, therapy, support groups, or anything else. I'm hoping that you can share what has worked for you, what hasn't, and how you tackle things on a daily basis.

I have a small business outside my 9-5 that plants me on my *** in front of my computer painting shoes all night long. My desk being a big trigger place for food binges, and my work being the kind of mindless task that makes me want to eat creates a toxic environment ED-wise on a daily basis. Even on nights when I'm "good," and don't binge on food, I know for a fact that I'm merely replacing my binges with weird alternative binge behaviours. Drinking an entire 2L bottle of club soda over the course of 3 hours is probably not normal. Although it serves as a guilt-free binge, I don't think it's helping to change my behaviour. (And in a total cause and effect type situation, it sends me to the bathroom more often that I'd like.)

So? What works for you ladies?

[Ferny1730]

This is my third major fix-it on myself. I used internet forums like this to quit smoking, come to teams with an abusive ex and why I stayed with him, and now my weird feelings about food.

When I decide it's time for a big change in myself, I usually get all the books I can on the subject. The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook really helped me to understand the underlying fears and feelings that have manifested themselves in various behaviors, including eating. What is especially interesting to me is that all of the above situations have some common roots, and this time around I am learning where my destructive tendencies come from.

I have also gone to professional therapy and it changed my life. If you can afford it, do it. You might have to go to a few before you find the right fit. I had one therapist that was clearly bored with me, which then made me dismiss my own anxiety and continue some bad behaviors until about a year ago, when I found a therapist that heard me and listened.

There was also a free helpline in my area for "crisis" and listening, and I have called it a few times. Twice it was awkward, but twice I had someone talk me through things and tell me what I needed to hear.

I think it's important to treat the symptom and the disease, that is, get the behavior under control, but also understand what's causing the behavior inside you. Sometimes this can be scary and you have to see things about yourself that you don't want to see.

When I am going through a fix-it, I also talk to trusted people and update them on my progress. Not everyone is trustworthy though-- I never talk to my family anymore about this stuff because there is just too much gossip and worrying with them. They don't understand what I am trying to do, and misread things, so I just don't share. I used to try to force it with them, but I don't anymore.

If you need the motion of eating, you could try some pots of non-caffinated tea. I have to confess that I sometimes used to drink four pots of tea in a day, but I think it's better than eating, especially if the tea is herbal. And there are some really delicious teas out there! Plus, if you are really craving sugar, you can add some sugar or honey to it to get the flavor without going crazy on cookies or ice cream.

[KittyKatFan]

I'm trying to get help now; I have an appointment on Tuesday with an intake coordinator to see whether I would be a good candidate for their outpatient binge eating disorder treatment program. It focuses on behavior modification, which is good because I'm not sure I would feel comfortable talking about how it was my anger with my mom/friends/social rejection as a teen that caused it. I don't want to dwell in the past, I just want to fix it! But that's just me.

The program also includes help with body image, and nutrition. You prepare and eat a couple of meals with them each week too. There is an 11 hour per week time commitment, which my boss will hate, but I have to get this help. I hope I'm accepted so I can finally get the skills i need to confront these binge moments head-on.