I often times look back on binges and know they could have been avoided...or even right before a binge, I sometimes know that I could choose not to binge, but at that moment, I make up some excuse in my mind. Here is a list of mine, maybe you could list yours?
* This is the last time I"m going to binge (yeah right)
* I will make an exception today because I have this amazing food just sitting in my pantry
* I have no control now because I don't have access to low calorie foods (I'm at a party or a restaurant for an event, etc.)
*I can get back on plan tomorrow and get this weight off in the next 3 days of working hard and staying on plan, so this won't be so bad
*I have a very good excuse! (migraine, my child with special needs isn't doing well at all, any major stress beyond my control du-jour).
*I can handle eating this (insert trigger food) like anyone else, so what's the big deal? I can be normal! (yeah right)
So what are some of the things you all say? Maybe if we can remember some of these things maybe then we can stop the binge before it happens.
Oh boy...
It's funny how different my thoughts are.. From "I am great and deserve a treat..." to "I'll start over tomorrow..." sometimes, "I feel that my life is out of control so why fight it.." and finally, the worst one, "I don't deserve to feel good and healthy and don't look good anyways so, who cares"
I have used food to reward myself, soothe myself, and even punish myself. Im over it... I just really want to stop using food as a crutch... Easier said than done!!
I haven't binged in about 6 weeks (yay), but there doesn't seem to be a coherent thought process involved. The time before a binge is this frantic state, almost like a panic attack, where I have tunnel vision.
I haven't kept trigger foods in the house for a long time, so it almost always occurred in my car. I would go grocery shopping and leave the store with only 4 donuts, quickly eat them in the car and then go to a different grocery store (out of embarrassment) to actually get the things on my list. I have been driving down the street and suddenly do a u-turn into a drive thru. There is only a visceral compulsion until I am almost done with the food and then the disgust and shame kick in.
I really dont think.. I just have one think on my mind and that is food.. It's like i'm in a zombie state and I eat and eat when the food is gone I come out of it. I hate it.
"I'll go ahead and eat this. Eat all of it then I won't have in the house and I won't buy anymore." Like I am getting rid of it. Duh! It is going on my hips. LOL
This is an interesting thread. I pretty much think the same things. It tends to go in order of:
I don't want to do this (eating healthy) anymore / I want to feel better right this moment.
If I don't get rid of this now, I will just binge on it later.
It's inevitable that I'll binge eventually, I'll just get it out of the way now so I won't have to worry about it (that's some magical thinking right there).
I'll just go on a really severe diet tomorrow.
Last time I binged was during June when I fell off the wagon for around two weeks. I remember thinking "I have no self control over this..." Actually got down about it but it didn't stop me! Other thoughts would be:
"This is the last time..."
"I NEED this..."
"I had a bad day, I deserve some happiness"
"I really don't care anymore"
"Moment on the lips...shut up, I don't care about that saying"
I came up with a way of explaining my junk food relationship last night. Junk food and I used to be best friends that I needed to see a lot. But now we are more like acquaintance who I don't need to see too often now.
Last edited by Dreamer2012; 07-26-2012 at 05:40 AM.
"My life is empty & lonely, and I have nothing to look forward to, so I shouldn't have to give up the foods I like." On a happier note, I haven't binged since March. I feel so much better, but it's a never-ending struggle. I always want to eat the same foods I binged on. Good luck, Ladies (Gents). I know it's hard.
Wow! I cannot believe how close my own thought processes are to those of RoyalAthena, vabs and Dreamer 2012!!
I can rationalize eating anything that is available. And an hour (more or less) later, when that lovely taste is gone and sanity returns, I want to kick myself!
I wish that the in my mind was stronger than the !!
It's amazing, I can relate to every one of these posts. Sometimes I think all the same thoughts and sometimes, I do get that tunnel vision of no thoughts at all but how to stuff as much junk into my body as quickly as possible. I'll have some stretches of time where I don't binge and then something seems to snap and I binge.
Two things happen to me:
♦I give up: thoughts such as "I'll never lose the weight.. Might as well eat what I want." or "You've failed before, you can't do it now."
♦Or, oddly enough I get a confidence boost: "Your not fat, you've never been fat, so why not eat the pizza?" "Your boyfriend LOVES your body, so do others, so just work on confidence"
Sometimes it's even the combo... Weird eh?
"I'll go ahead and eat this. Eat all of it then I won't have in the house and I won't buy anymore." Like I am getting rid of it. Duh! It is going on my hips. LOL
Sometimes it becomes mindless eating due to stress or boredom but I use this excuse alot. I might start out with a serving of cashews or 100 calorie snack and then I convince myself that I need to get rid of the stuff because it's too tempting. I eat it all in a sitting plus anything else because by then, I have told myself I've blown it and will just start over tomorrow(or Monday) so might as well go crazy today.
And it's true, I always do, so I generally don't sweat it too much. I hate the bloated feeling of overeating so much and feeling sluggish from it, but after a few days it's forgotten and I'm right back where I was, if not lower.
I actually wouldn't say I "binge" anymore, not in the way I used to. It used to be these uncontrollable frenzied eating sessions but now I consciously make a choice to occasionally eat more than I know my body needs. When I was seriously binging, I didn't think anything at all... there WAS no thinking, tasting or enjoying... I was just on autopilot.
Yes, when I overeat I feel gross the next day, but sometimes my mind needs a break from counting calories and moderating everything.
What are you thinking right before you binge?
in my mind was stronger than the 
!!
