Seeing this thread basically just saved me. I was THIS CLOSE to binging. THANK YOU all of you who posted, it basically just knocked some much needed sense into me. My grandparents took me to this Mongolian Barbaque/Chinese Buffet today, and I did the Mongolian barbaque thing where you put all your veggies and meat in a bowl and they cook it in front of you. I know i consumed WAY too much sodium, and so today all day I have been so tempted to binge... My thought process was: well you will already have a gain on the scale tomorrow because of all the sodium, so why not eat that chocolate bar? Why not eat that popcorn, poptarts, icecream? this thread just saved my butt. thank you all of you
Like almost everyone else, mine's always the old "It's okay, because this is the last time!" Last bag of chips, last cans (!) of soda, last candy bar... but it never is the last, is it? Then once I've started, "Well you've already eaten so many chips, might as well get it all out of the way now so you don't ruin another day." Vicious, vicious circle.
"I'll go ahead and eat this. Eat all of it then I won't have in the house and I won't buy anymore." Like I am getting rid of it. Duh! It is going on my hips. LOL
A lot of times I just snap and think, I HAVE to. I just HAVE to. I am GOING to. And then I do.
And at that moment, I don't want anyone to try to convince me not to. I don't want to pray to God to take away the urges, or use one of my coping mechanisms. I don't want to be dissuaded from binging. So I don't even try to turn to them. I just head to the kitchen and start eating.
And for the next few days or weeks, I have to deal with the result...
But I'm getting better! And that's something to be thankful for!
ugh so many bad things come into my head when i binge...always feel worthless in the beginning but afterward i feel like a failure..tht i will always be fat. it sucks...i eat so much my stomach is bulging and in pain..cant breath. feel pressure in my chest cuz im so full...i want to break this cycle.
I think the same, if I eat it, it's not in the house.
But on a deeper level, I believe if I make it disappear, it never happened!]
I do the exact same thing..I actualy thought of it today because I have ice cream sandwich bars in the freezer..But then I thought if I just dont eat them I will have accomplished more..But always scared that I may binge since they are in the house...
Last edited by xdementedx; 08-18-2012 at 09:34 PM.
I start out with just ONE cookie, after finishing it I look at the package which says 2 cookies equal a serving so I eat another, then I think "it'll be easier to add my calories together if I eat 2 servings because each serving is 150calories. It's easier to figure the math in my head if it's just rounded to 300." And so on it goes until I've eating WAY more than I should have
I also tend to just snap. I remember one of the last binges. I got up at 4 am to do my Friday morning workout and I was just physically and mentally worn out. I told myself "I need a break!". And I went back to bed. I was ok with that, because I do think my body was legitimately tired. But when I woke up, I had some exta time to let my mind wander and decided I needed to give my body the food it was craving. So I ended up getting both breakfast tacos and donuts before work. Then I went to lunch for Mexican food. I don't even remember what I had for dinner but I'm sure it was bad.
I intended to limit the damage to one day, but the next morning my mind was racing, and I said "what the heck" and made a weekend of my shameful binging.
