Approaching this a Different Way This time.
 

I have a ugly cycle of binging, and beating myself up only to binge again and promise myself tomorrow is another day.

I'm tired of giving myself second chances. I want the binges to count towards my success or failure. So I am going to work a binge into my calorie bank, and if I do binge, I will have to make up for it somewhere.

My hope is that once I realize that the binges are messing up my calorie allotment, I will slow down. I keep a strict budget for the house, I think I can handle a calorie budget!

If I do binge, I must LOG it, this will show how much damage it has done. Rather than "forgetting it" and moving on.

I will log my binges on this thread, so I realize exactly what I am doing.**I will also log my feelings that go with the feelings of either binging or wanting to binge. A binge to me is no longer a massive eat all fest, it is an "unplanned extra helping of food, not intended for any reason other than mindless eating". I think of a binge as this. You want a cookie, you get a cookie, you eat the cookie, get another one, serving is three, so reach for another one. By now, the cookie taste is on your tongue, it has hit your brain, the craving should be satisfied, but for whatever reason you grab some more--some times you eat the whole box. Why??? That is a binge to me.**

any one else wanting to use this approach can do it here. You don't have to track calories just log your binge and make sure you don't just "forget" it and sweep it under the rug.

TODAY I BINGED:

4 X 170 CS ICE CREAM BARS =680/1800 CS
2 YOGURTS =340/1800 CS
1/4 CUP WHIPPED TOPPING = 100/1800cs (this binge is because my teenager was stressing me totally out! Plus my 1 year old was acting clingy.
4 whonu cookies= 213/1800 (I got home from shopping and wanted a coconut cookie, but the ones I bought were bad!-so I tried to compensate)

binge total: 1120/1800 cs
new total: 1333/1800

plan to recover: don't snack any more before dinner, have 3 oz roast, and a vegetable, but no starch. Use tea after dinner to fill up and keep from eating after dinner.

Good luck with your new method. I've tried to binge on steamed veggies, when I am out I am in trouble. These last 4 days I binged and averaged 2000-3000 calories for the day-not good. I promised myself not to go over 2000 and will start back on 1500 once school is over. :sigh: nursing school is not good for my binge issue. Another thing that I binge on is sugar free jello-2 cups is only 40 calories...not good to continue the binging but fighting it just wasn't working for me.

Tiff, I feel your pain about nursing school. I graduated last year. It was rough. I was also pregnant and gave birth at the end of my last semester.

the stress of having a kiddo in diapers at the same time as having a teenager is driving me up the wall.

well, I ate 4 whonu cookies. 1 serving is 3--so I consider it a binge.

so that is 213 more calories toward a binge.

I think this is a wonderful idea! Keeping track of your binges is definitely taking a step towards controling them. I might just use this thread and post my own binges, I actually believe that would help me figure out what triggers them.

I'm glad you like the idea Natasha, post away.

Okay my goal for today is no more than 2500 calories. I am at

1973.2
2500 - 1973.2 = 526.8. This is what I have for dinner.

Dinner stresses me out because SO refuses to come home at a decent time and sit down to a family meal. He's always out socializing and drinking with his friends in the neighborhood. this pisses me off, because I believe in having meals as a family.

I want to cook some roast and some veggies and some mashed potatoes, and get the teenager fed and in bed. I usually tell myself that I don't care if he comes home to eat--BUT I DO, and it enrages me when he DOESN'T.

what I got to tell myself is HOW IN THE WORLD is stuffing myself with cookies and icecream going to help with his refusal to sit down and eat at a decent time consistently? it's not.

a method to thwart myself from doing that is to have veggies in the kitchen and snack on them instead. I will try it (his mother actually suggested this to keep me from eating too much junk when I was in the kitchen)

ok so he came home in good timing. We finished up dinner & I limited dessert to 1 swedish fish and 2 dark chocolate raspberry chocolates. a total of 578 cs.

so my total for today with binging was 2551. tomorrow will be harder because I am going to stick to my 1800 limit. maybe I can do a little less to make up for the overage today. 1600 would be a good goal.

Okay, I worked out and I had an opportunity to binge, but I did not.
I stuck to 2 oz boiled peanuts, 1 dark chocolate square, and some coconut water.

yay!

going to stick to 1600, actual plan is 1675. I have to make up for the binge I had yesterday.

hope everyone has a binge free day, but if not don't be afraid to post it.

Hi Jendiet
This is exactly what I started doing a couple of weeks ago! I wasn't logging the binges as I was too ashamed, but what is the point of tracking if your not being honest with yourself. So I started to log it all, the cereal to try and prevent the binge, then the chocolate, the biscuits and the sweets. It looks really bad and I would hate family to see it, but I am surprised to see that I still manage overall to have a weekly calorie deficeit, though not as much as I planned. I guess if we are going to do this we need to be accountable. Good luck.

That's great. I am committing to log with you. You can do it! Good plan. Don't forget, exercise will reduce the calories taken in.

This is a good idea, also the logging of calories might let you see that even if you do binge, it doesn't mean the whole day is a write off.

yes milly, I wouldn't want my family to know EXACTLY what I eat when I binge, but I feel this is a trusted area to really be accountable for it and yes serendipity, the logging shows me that I can RECOVER with a plan.

thanks clownfish, I know the exercise would be another way to recover what I did. I just have to learn how to take the binging in stride and adjust for it. I used to binge and purge and that is not acceptable.

I loove this idea! If you don't mind, I'm going to post here when I binge too- not because I try to just forget about it, but to give me accountability.

Nothing to report so far today!

yay KYmommy, nothing to report is a GOOD report.

Well, i did binge today. It wasn't huge, but I caught myself before it got out of control. I actually did twice, but was reluctant to call the second one a binge. But it is attitude too.

1ST BINGE
5 pieces dark chocolate raspberry squares 220
1 pc dark chocolate covered oatmeal square 80
coconut milk 80
creamer 70
ice cream 170
binge total 620 cs

I did come home with very low blood sugar, I was shaking, and I was starving, and i tried to do the right thing and eat some thing with carbs and protein, but I was stressed out from missing a potential job interview call, and the baby was fussing madly, plus my teenager came home.

the 2nd binge actually happened while I was trying to avoid binging. I was snacking on sugar snap peas, but I was in binge mentality because the baby was fussing, the teenager needed to go to bed, and i was genuinely hungry and felt deprived.

2nd binge:
creamer 70
coconut milk 100
binge total: 170

daily 790/1800

I call this a binge because of my mentality. I was mixing the two together and drinking it out of a small container, but I did this mix and drink several times before I stopped. I was angry because I felt so should just rescue from the fussy baby I have had to deal with all day, and not try to "unwind" while I dealt with it.

I did do just a few cals over 1800 with 1835.

daily total wasn't too bad.

Well it's the deficit of calories that count so maybe you could just look at that as an Alternative Diet Day and don't give it a second thought. You had a very stressful day and if that type of food now and then helps you through then it's not failing its adapting! It gets windy sometimes and we need to bend or something will snap. Keep up the good work of caring for yourself and your family.

thanks milly, I appreciate the understanding.

today I am feeling so tired, I want to eat for energy, but all my thyroid tests are now "normal". so what is it. I know you shouldn't have to have caffeine to get going in the morning. normal people don't.

I've been trying to strengthen my adrenal glands with herbals. hope that makes the difference.

Wel I should eat my words along with recently consuming;
Digestive biscuit, Small bar of chocolate, cereal bar, slice of bread and about 160 grms condensed milk! Still under total but would need to eat nothing else today, so guess with small evening meal I will be a couple of hundred calories over. Doesn't seem like the end of the world but keeps the cycle going :(

I have a suggestion regarding binging that may or may not work for you. It worked for me! When I was binging it was usually because I would eat some food, then want to go back and back and back because I was angry/sad/irritated, whatever. I had no food plan, though, so I would "spend" my calories freely.

Nothing changed until I planned out my meals/snacks. Much like how I budget my bills in anticipation, I already know what and how much to eat in my entire day and there is no reason for me to look for something and end up munching/binging. I also found that since I never starve myself (like I used to in order to "save calories for later") and schedule 3 meals, 3 snacks that fit into my calorie budget, I never get hungry.

Great idea Munchy (love your name). Actually I count calories and have done quite well this last two months controlling my eating and planning ahead. Keeping binges at bay is my priority! Today was just a combination of people turning up unexpectedly for lunch, when I was just about to have a big plate of steamed veg topped with grated cheese. Ended up eating late after putting something more substantial for them together. This and some family stress, which I probably use as an excuse to binge:( caused me to lose it for a short time.

Haha. Short for "QueenMunchy" a college nickname for me being short, or as they said, Queen of the Munchkins. I'm not even that short, just compact!

yes, I agree Munchy. Actually having a plan for my calories does help a little. I still find myself trying to go outside the plan.

No binge yesterday, and so far none today. I consider a binge when I have more than 1 serving unplanned of something. mindless eating.

well today my head hurts--classic migraine. Since caffeine and COLD help, I usually like to eat icecream bars. I don't have the calories alloted for any of that, I already ate 2 earlier. so now I am dealing with this thing--and trying not to binge from the pain.

How are you doing Milly? I had to drop my calories because of a binge, and I am feeling the crunch. At least the binge is not going to ruin your weight loss efforts and not eating over, will give you a sense of control.

Today I stopped and got a double cheeseburger from mcdonalds.. I ate half and gave the other half away. One burger is 33 carbs, so I had about 18-20 carbs too many. :/

KY, what is your plan to compensate? giving the 1/2 away was awesome! That shows self restraint, and it is commendable.

well, I ate too much chocolate, though it wasn't a binge. I ate about 197 calories over what I planned. 1400 is just too low with breastfeeding.

so what I did is take my steps that are in excess of goal, and gave myself .1 cs for each step. which equaled 2414 cs over my first goal. So now I have a little lee way.

You should have some fresh cantaloupe cut up and stored in your fridge. One whole 5" melon is only about 200-250 calories. It is sweet, refreshing, and will fill you up, and you won't regret stuffing your face later. lol :D My new addiction is fresh pineapple... So sweet and juicy! F*** cookies! Pineapple is the YUMs!

good idea, Laif, I love cantalope, I can eat a whole one in one sitting too.

Well, I did not go to bed. My SO was munching so I snacked a little, then he went to bed--I WAS tired, and he's snoring and I'm binging.

so what did I do?
wasabi peas-240 cs (ate them til my nose burned)
5 pcs dark chocolate-220cs
coconut milk-100 cs

so that bank of calories I just set up is depleted a little, I didn't do a 5000 calorie binge, I am going to redeem my slackerness and do a zumba workout tomorrow.

Plodding away thanks jendiet? I did end up going a couple of 100 over but it's done and I am moving on. Was interested to see you asking KY what she was doing to compensate. I never now compensate for erring! It just makes it more likely to happen again. Can't believe you are trying to survive on 1400 calories and breast feeding. Guess i am taking the scenic route, just wish the scales would show me a different view :).

I really like frozen grapes for that cold fresh feeling but banana ice cream (just frozen bananas in the food processor) is so good as an ice cream replacement.

hmm, I might have to try that munchy. The problem for me is the calories in a banana are just about the calories in an ice cream bar--so I'd rather eat what I am craving.

yeah milly, I tried ONE day that low, and it drove me nuts. I overate today-probably because I was so busy. already got 17, 995 steps logged, and I worked out, and I tried to eat so little yesterday. Note to self, don't cook pizza after a workout.

still feel pretty good, to me if I don't compensate, I will feel out of control and just say *screw it* and I will never get anywhere.

banking the steps calories is a good alternative to the back lashing I usually give myself. It is also better than deprivation.

omg, not binging, but sure not eating very healthy. I've had a serving of cookies and a serving of chocolate already. I also ate some salad on a tortilla shell, so that was healthy.

I actually thought about NOT stopping while I was eating the cookies, and thought of the shame I would feel if I posted the binge, and I stopped! so public disapproval is motivational.

I don't understand why I didn't think of or use the concept before because I am a secret binger, people won't steal because they don't want to go to jail, and they don't want to go to jail because of the stigma it carries. We also don't do alot of things because we would be ashamed for others to know we did them, and thinking of posting another binge shamed me, so I think it is a good tool.

I have to use the remainder of my calories for dinner. So I am going to fill up on tea in the meantime. My goal is an early dinner, light dessert, and tea afterwards, and no food. 1800 total.

I know someone mentioned that if they compensated for a binge, that would just lead to another one, that is not how my psyche works. If I broke something that I had to pay for, I would be motivated to not break another thing. Whereas, if I sweep a binge under the rug, and pat myself on the back and tell myself "it's ok, it wasn't your fault, you can do better next time." I would have no motivation not to do it again. There is a passage in the bible that fits "Judgement delayed makes the heart grow wicked" Ecclesiastes 8:11

accck, so I worked out kind of late, not really heavy just a little resistance, i didn't take the stuff that helps me go to sleep, and I stayed up late again. I snacked on the dried chic peas I made, and I ate the equivalent of 1/2 can garbanzo beans. they were dried and crunchy, so they were easy to snack away on!

at least it was a health food, but still, I didn't need those extra calories. I took my sleepy time stuff and now I'm just waiting for it to hit. blah!

to top it off, I ate a fiber bar. Maybe I think it's ok to binge on health food? No it is not.

binge total: 220 cs dried chic peas
130 cs fiber bar
total: 350 cs binge

thankfully, the extra mileage I racked up put me just about even so I made my weekly goals. this seems sustainable. I feel much better than the weekly deploration of "you did it again! you will never lose weight at this rate". I can still lose weight with my binging disorder. But, I am taking steps to keep it under control. i have not bought a box of cookies and eaten it alone in one setting (prone to doing).

so what set me off today. mother's day. yep. I don't know why I expect something grand to happen? Like getting flowers or being taken out to dinner. Does that ever happen? No. But I at least expected some cuddle time, which I finally got at about midnight. seriously.

Well, I should count my blessings instead. I do have alot of wonderful people/things in my life. Thank God.

so far so good. Was tempted to overeat cookies, but I actually ate one serving. I also had some carrot cake today, and being accountable kept me from binging on that. woot. woot!

"what I got to tell myself is HOW IN THE WORLD is stuffing myself with cookies and icecream going to help with his refusal to sit down and eat at a decent time consistently? it's not."

This is exactly the approach I'm trying to take now with my stress binging. I'm under a lot of stress this week because a job I thought was going to start gradually suddenly got pushed to starting this week! So rather than a nice gradual week long training to ease me into it, I had a 3 hour training with the manager who kept getting interrupted by her cell phone for "calls I just have to take" :lol: .

I was totally considering buying junk food and binging last night, but I stopped myself and said, "wait a minute. How is binging going to make me less stressed about the job I have to do this week which I feel very ill prepared for? How is it going to prepare me better for the job?" The answer is just like yours - it's not! So that helped me stay on track and avoid binging on junk food yesterday.

I think that along with eating lots of whole foods and walking every day is hopefully going to help me get through this stressful week in peace.

Tam

I agree, Munchy. This is what I've been doing the last week and it's helped a lot. Every morning while I'm taking my walk, I go over in my head, meal by meal, what I'm going to eat for the day. That helps keep me focused on what I will eat and not look around for alternatives.

However, my personality is suited for that, as I tend to do much better when I preplan something carefully and don't do well with "on the fly" type of stuff. I can handle "on the fly" in situations where I know I won't fail, but when it comes to food, I know I will ultimately fail (i.e., binge) if I don't plan out my meals.

So I think this would work for some but not others :p.

Tam

That's actually really interesting because I think it matters how we each individually define a binge. For me, having 1 serving of something unplanned isn't necessarily a binge. For example, I ate pretty much on plan yesterday but was very stressed out and ended up having 1 oz of unsalted pretzels, which was not on my menu plan. But the serving was measured and came in place of some fruit I usually have in the evening, so I don't consider it a binge.

I guess for me, a binge is a very specific circumstance - when I actually go out and buy packages of junk food and sit and eat from them across several days, usually just at night in front of a string of classic movies.

Jendiet, please don't misunderstand, as I'm totally not saying that my definition is more correct than yours at all. It's just interesting how each of us defines a binge.

Tam

tammay, yes, it does make sense to ask yourself HOW is the binge going to help. I loved a saying someone on this website had "The only problem food solves is hunger". I know stress brings on binges, and I am glad you are realizing there is a better way to handle stress.

I agree a binge is different for everybody. I am quite familiar with the binges you described, as that used to be how I binged when I was binging on 5000 calories and purging. However, I have simplified it because I was going into a binge not realizing for me what constituted a binge, and why it was so.

After the first three cookies (1 serving) several needs should have been met. 1. The taste, 2. The craving, and 3. The hunger (blood sugar hunger). After the first serving, what am i getting out of it? That is when binging comes in.

I have found I love to have cookies with tea. Might be northern upbringing, but a cookie with tea is the best. I could completely ban myself from them, which would cause an obsession and definitely a binge, or I can learn how to control the factors that would cause me to binge.

here are some things I have found that helps.
1. Write down that I am going to have 3 cookies with tea in my journal, or at least have a mental note of the exact plan.
2. take the cookies from the package and put the package up immediately.
3. Have the tea poured and ready. If the tea isn't ready the first two they won't get to go with the tea. (this is the same with milk)I have found myself reaching for more because I ate the cookie before the tea.
4. sit down. I frequently binge standing up (in the flight or fight response)
5. If I get the desire for another one, I ask myself "why?"

If after having the cookies and tea, and going back to my normal day LATER, I decide I want to repeat the process, and there are calories in my bank. I go ahead and do it again.

so I have been thinking about a treat all day today, and today is carrot cake. I made some yummy chai tea, and I measured an exact serving of the cake, and i gave away the little piece that fell off that was over the serving. (I tend to eat up the little pieces that come off the perfect slice), and I sat down with tea and thoroughly ENJOYED one serving of the cake.

this is a huge accomplishment--usually just the sight of cake of any kind and I become this Dr. Jekyl/Mr. Hyde monster, and it's the cake against me, and the cake is evil and I'm the little angel trying to be good, and if I can just overcome the devil....blah. blah. blah.

It's a piece of cake, sane people eat it all the time. I have the frozen kind, so I KNOW it won't spoil. So no reason to hurry and eat it up.

And it went really good with the vanilla chai tea which will also help my blood sugar stay stable after I eat it.

I have dinner on the stove, and am planning a very nutritious meal around my scrumptious little snack.

IN my mind is where this battle is taking place, disordered thinking. If i want cake, it is bad, so I only get one shot at being bad, so might as well make it worth it. Like a little thief in a store casing out a joint. Just know you are going to get caught at any moment, so make the spoils good. I have literally shoved 3 cookies in my mouth at one time when I heard someone coming just so I didn't get caught.

THIS is the reason I keep failing, not the snacks being in the house, it is the way I see and respond to the snacks. I have children and a very thin SO, snacks are their way of life. So the snacks will be there to stay, so I must change ME.

YEAH, i remember when I was 65 lbs thinner, and I was eating only healthy organic food, and there weren't cookies, cake, and icecream to contend with, but every meal was a battle as people would be offended I wouldn't eat their food, and every restaurant trip was stressful. Except, I lavished the elitism my life style brought to me. I lavished being the thin one, eating the "rabbit" food. finally, one day I just SNAPPED. I gathered a bunch of junk food and ate it till it hurt, til I just wanted to vomit from all the bad stuff I put in my body, and I suffered from that point on. TWO YEARS, since beginining my journey to healthy organic eating, and undid two years of STRICT dieting. It took about a year to really catch up and gain weight OVER what I had been before I started being really strict, but I went back and forth between binging and strict dieting--to finally hopelessness and was at my heaviest from 2006-2010. Except I didn't gain much weight in between.

Then I realized in 2010, I must use moderation. I used a lifestyle that almost OKed binging because there was only a small period of time when you could eat and you were fasting other than that time period. I got pregnant shortly after losing 23 lbs with this method!

tried and failed several times in 2011. Went through **** in 2012, and fell back into my old severe patterns.

Here I am in May 2012, and I am having a small victory over something that seems silly to others but is causing life changing thinking in this moment. I think I can actually be free of this disordered thinking.

It might help that as a nurse I learned the terms "Ineffective coping mechanism".

for me my diagnosis would be "Ineffective coping mechanism related to stress as evidenced by binge eating". yep that's me.

The solution. Find a new coping mechanism. Writing about food? Writing about why I think food is so good or bad, or just plain evil. Taking accountability for my actions. Either way something new is taking place in my heart and mind.

well, you think you have a handle on it, then something like dinner almost setting your kitchen on fire trips you up.

I rescued the food--note to self, while nursing baby do not leave 13 year old to watch the dinner. But it really shook me up to see smoke rolling out of the pot!

Plus, my lovely roast would have been ruined. it wasn't thank God.

But I shook like I had low blood sugar for several minutes after it. I decided to eat a mounds to help with that, they are frozen, so hard to really scarf them down. yet, I grabbed another one, I removed myself from the kitchen because I know the blood sugar shakes would subside as the sugar entered my blood stream, it needed just a few minutes.

That is another culprit for the binging, the blood sugar shakes. I will do well and then come home from some strenous activity, and i will be so foggy headed and shaky, I'll grab something and then another, and another. Before I will have realized what I have done.

another day, no binging. I really am glad I was able to lay down and sleep off the migraine. It probably would have been worse if I hadn't.

ok, today is going to have special problems, well maybe not today, but it will affect tomorrow and the next day, I will be limiting my carbs to 50 g for 2 days, as per the carb cycling mentioned in the magazine. apparently, one day on is not enough to trigger the insulin response and fat burning mechanisms. We'll see. I'll give it a whirl.

I have most of my food planned, the only thing I am lacking is dinner. I'm cooking them my salmon patties, which are not low carb, and I think I will make me some salmon rolls or something like that.

I have decided that if i eat at my maintenance calories or below, i'm not going to call it a binge. There have been times when i felt out of control, and many would classify that as a binge, but i find it counterproductive to label it that. Plus, i strongly believe that the body like homeostasis and it is therefore natural to crave your maintenance level of calories. Eating at that level isn't a mental disease (but binge eating is, to me anyway). Sure it may be off plan and i may feel guilty, but i won't call it a binge.