Understood 100% on the "eating buddies" - unfortunately my friends are all eating buddies because I simply won't be friends with people who don't at least enjoy eating.
As for avoiding triggers, it's a big inner conflict for me because basically EVERYTHING can be construed as a trigger. I feel like I'm the thing that's broken and needs to be fixed and no matter where I am, I will find something that triggers binging or overeating.
I have this problem too. I've gotten it a bit more under control by two ways, though they aren't perfect.
First of all, I articulate to someone out loud before going out- usually my boyfriend- that I am going to eat well during the party. I make that promise to myself by promising out loud to him.
Second, at the party I take 5 breaths between wanting to grab something else and actually grabbing it. Usually I am able to think logically through a plan in that time on how to satisfy my cravings without going out of control. I'll say- OK right now I will just eat a few carrots, and in 1 hour I will allow myself to have that piece bruschetta. Or- I'll grab a diet coke instead of a glass of wine. Usually taking that time to think allows me to reason with my gut and to reflect on how well I did during the day and how good I feel. That tends to curb my desire to to just grab grab grab!
That said, it's not always perfect. I'd be very welcome to other peoples' insights.
I've been doing a lot better with social eating -- seeing food around me and not taking it -- this week. Yes, despite all my whining about cravings / TOM / etc Right now, I do it through fear: "If you don't know how many calories are in this food, it could be something like 500 and if you log it you WON'T BE ABLE TO EAT ALL DAY." Somehow the lesson of those 650 cals of cookies has been learned and this has been working for me.
It's definitely hard, though. One of my friends (my size and weight) is blessed with an amazing metabolism. At dinner today, I was starving after an hour of flow yoga, but only had room for ~280 calories of grilled chicken and fresh veggies. She had: country fried steak, a huge helping of mashed potatoes, coffee cake, sourdough bread, ice cream, a froyo smoothie, a huge salad with heavy dressing. 1500+ at least. I looked on with envy for a minute and then reminded myself that I don't know if that will make her gain weight. And her enjoyment of her food shouldn't affect how much I want my goals. So I sucked it up and ate my peas.
I guess the hardest thing to do is deprive yourself of bounty when you keep it away from yourself all the time -- we're evolutionarily hardwired to react to deprivation by wanting what we've been deprived of a lot more. So I try to remind myself: "You have access to chocolate and steak every day. So what?" And social occasions where everything is right there become just a little more manageable.
Last edited by lackadaisy; 02-27-2011 at 04:54 PM.
Last week I had lunch with a girl who is 5'7 and probably about my weight- 130, if not less- who had entire 6" cheese pizza and a piece of chocolate cake with chocolate icing for lunch. I had a salad with dressing on the side and a chai with no sugar. Grumble grumble!!! But lackadaisy is right, getting upset or jealous at her is not going to get me closer to where I want to be. Easy to admit that now but wasn't so simple sitting across from six slices of cheesy goodness...
I understand your stress, because I am in a similiar situation. When I'm home alone, I won't usually overeat. When I'm out with others, I forget about everything, get swept away in the atmosphere, and usually overeat. Afterwards, I get so upset with myself.... so this is what I've done... I'm not willing to limit my social interactions because of food. Before I walk into the social situation (restaurant, someone's house, etc) I THINK about what I'd like my eating behavior to be. I visualize it. Then when I'm at the party/get-together, I try VERY hard to pay attention to my body. Am I full? Am I still hungry? I eat slowly and carefully, and I've gotten a lot better at stopping when I'm full. I try to practice intuitive eating. I also try to eat the healthiest option available.
Thank you so much for it because it is helping me a lot and enabling me to look at my situation. I also have the eating buddies and just the general overeating in restaurants. Weird enough I don't have drinking buddies and smoking buddies any more and i let people feed into their sick habits because that is what they do and i used to be one of them. And now why don't i give up my .... overeating buddies... because there are healthy eating buddies out there as well. Just with some people going out to catch up is about eating and with others going out to catch up is about chatting!
I have been working hard on not doing it in the sense of I am full, no dessert and i stick with it. But last night without the dessert the portion was huge! And yummy, I suppose it is nice relaxing and everything is fine and the food is there and we are not thinking about what we are eating we are talking and going through any emotions. When i am alone, I think about my food and i don't talk to anyone. I stay with peace, gratitude, even classical music, things like that.
Also... attitude.. that food is this feast thing to be shared, enjoyed, indulged in... a bit too much! Maybe that is what i need to give up! Food is just not that thing to indulge in, it isn't! It is not to be eaten just because others eat it or it is there. Sometimes I feel guilty to say no and not to eat whilst others are eating... why it shouldn't be this way... I am allowed to say no, I deserve to stop when I want and when it is good for me! I deserve to do what is right for me, not for other people!
Krampus, I completely understand where you're coming from. I have zero control saying no in social situations with my friends. The worst part is, many will pressure me into eating if I try to refuse! It's frustrating. My only solution has been to avoid social situations where I know they'll all be indulging in some way, which is most of them (parties, hanging out at restaurants, etc.) That's not the best solution, but I don't know what else to do. If I'm not there I won't binge.
Right now, I do it through fear: "If you don't know how many calories are in this food, it could be something like 500 and if you log it you WON'T BE ABLE TO EAT ALL DAY." Somehow the lesson of those 650 cals of cookies has been learned and this has been working for me.
