I guess the key word here is "Boys"...not "Men". Boys can be really stupid acting...but "real Men" don't usually carry on in such a silly goofy a$$ way! At least none of the few "real" men I know.
BD - I think you really look great in your new Avatar and can't imagine they could have been laughing at you...so what...you're overweight...big woop! Beauty is beauty is beauty! I mean, it's not like most people are walking down the street looking like runway models, fitness champions or high performance athletes! Most people have some physical imperfections and flaws (i.e., beer bellies, balding heads, or lack of/flabby a$$'s!) Unless these guys were a pack of marathon runners...I highly doubt they would have much to laugh at in your direction. Stay positive, and keep doing good things for yourself...I really can't wait to see your progress pics...your going to blow us all away...I'm sure! Georgous...just georgous! Joyce
Thanks Bambi, I needed to hear that. . The real reason the guys sort of bothered me was because I'm so freakin' lonely and want a boyfriend. And when I think I look pretty some stupid boy has to laugh. It kinda ruins it.
And I certainly know what you mean. I've been feeling this frustrated yen to be able to press fast forward on my life and zip ahead to when I've shifted 100 (or 120?)lb. Because THEN I think I'll feel a **** of a lot more confident and attractive - I'll not become magically the most ravishing woman on the planet, but I'll be so much better equipped to make the best of my good points and downplay the bad ones! And, damn, if I dress well now, I'll dress FABULOUSLY then!
But unfortunately I have no fast forward button. Grr. Stupid life!
Meanwhile, if you want to know how you'd look 150lb lighter, try this site:
It's only a very vague clue, but you can make your virtual 3D model, and then program it to show how you might look after losing the weight - I've seen some people here have used this to make their avatars.
...I really can't wait to see your progress pics...your going to blow us all away...I'm sure! Georgous...just georgous! Joyce
Hi Bambifox I tried sending you a private message but I think you have disabled it, here's what I wanted to say...
I just wanted to send you a message to tell you how much I appreciate your posts. Sometimes when I'm feeling down for whatever reason you always say something that cheers me up. Tonight I was feeling a little low but you typed "I can't wait to see your progress pictures," that just encouraged me to keep on pushing. And it makes me very happy to hear that someone thinks I'm gorgous. I'm not trying to sound preppy or self-centered by any means it's just I don't get those compliments much. My family says that I'm pretty but no one ever says it outside of family. So thanks! My family tells me I'm pretty and I keep wondering..."Why am I single?" I've NEVER been in a relationship. I'm 22 going on 23 and I want some love. lol. Anyways, I'm rambling, just thank you so much again for your encouraging words.
You are already GORGEOUS! And you'll be DROP DEAD gorgeous when you get to goal and guys will be lining up around the block! Don't fret over some immature morons at Wal-Mart. I didn't get my first boyfriend until I was 23 and it isn't all it's cracked up to be. There's only one good thing about having a man around (for me anyway). Dating has a lot to do with confidence and motivation. There's many plus size girls out there with boyfriends and husbands, so it just isn't about how much you weigh!
Your before/after pics will be AMAZING! And, hello, you've already lost 50 pounds!!! Do you know how many women would KILL to lose 50 pounds!!! A - W - E - S - O - M - E !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have been heavy pretty much all my life and um men have never been a problem for me. yeah there are always ones that are like the "boys" you mentioned, but there are REAL men out there who love you for you and not what you could be. My hubby for example he loves me. He does not care if I am a size 0 or whatever. What does size have to do with it? That is something I don't get. When you love someone it shouldn't be about size. I know there are people who are just "naturally" attracted to thin model types and that is fine, nothing wrong with that. But I dunno guess I am saying don't let weight stop you from finding love because that isn't true and if a man keeps that in the way, then well, he isn't worth it in my book.
Also I have to say this, I think your gorgeous just how you are and getting skinny doesn't automatically mean your going to be even more gorgeous. I know very thin people who are not as pretty as you are. So keep your head held high girl, your wonderful just how you are and yes losing weight is a good thing for our health, etc. Just wanted to say you are fine just how you are too.
Just my 2 cents, or maybe a nickels worth here! lol.
Maybe I'm the wierdo here but last time I lost a bunch of weight and started having guys start to pay attention to me, it annoyed me. If they weren't interested before, there was no point in being interested now. I haven't changed-just the package has. And if they are that superficial, I don't need them. I would be suspicious of any guy who is only interested in you because of what you look like and not for who you are.
My family tells me I'm pretty and I keep wondering..."Why am I single?" I've NEVER been in a relationship. I'm 22 going on 23 and I want some love.
This struck me. First of all I have to say that you are beautiful. What a great smile!
The way we look has little to do with finding a date. Back in highschool, I can remember seeing many girls who were... hrm how to put this politely... not all that attractive OR intelligent...and they were getting all these boyfriends. I can't lie about this: IT DROVE ME NUTS. I still look back sometimes and think "I must have had some sort of contageous disease if those girls were getting dates, and I didn't have a single one." However, when I look back at the boyfriends they were dating... well the boys weren't all that attractive or intelligent either.. >_>
I have a friend who recently turned 25. She's heavy... like me. Not unattractive. In fact she can be darn right cute sometimes. She's never had a boyfriend. Never been on a date. She complains sometimes, but if she ever asked me why it is that she's never been on a date I could tell her in a moment. She doesn't like new people. She doesn't go out of her way to meet anyone. She's not confident. And quite frankly, her standards annoy me. (That last one isn't really her problem... ) She joined an online dating site once. Talked with one guy. ONE. She waited for guys to e-mail her first. She didn't email anyone. That one guy that she talked with, she deemed to be too annoying, and then said the online dating thing was a waste. Well DUH. She didn't even TRY! The other thing is, she's got this ideal guy in her head, and I don't think she's willing to go out and just have a fun night with a guy. She wants that ideal relationship right away. Not that we should have low standards, but we've got to be realistic...
I'm not saying that's you, because I obviously don't know you IRL. But I do know my friend well enough.
So what are you doing to meet new friendly guys? Asked anyone out ever? Some people are lucky and their wonderful man friend just falls into their lap. Some people have to go out and work it. Some people stop looking for someone and they find "the one". Others start looking, and find some great guys!
I laugh at thoat one. I had to pick my guy out and start in on him may years ago we have been married 25 years now!! He was shy and so was I but I guessed that I needed to take a stand and here I am.
My two cents? I wish I had already lost 50 pounds! Oh sorry. That was self centered scalmie talking. Sweetie, I agree with the earlier post about the fact that those dorks were probably talking about something that had nothing to do with you. You really are lovely. I'm not gonna lie to you. When you shed what you think is the right amount of weight you are still gonna have to be patient about letting the inner you catch up with the outer you. One of the few nice things about losing weight at a slower pace is that you have time to adjust to the change and make a lifestyle change. Do ya get me?
P.S. I'm sure Joyce would appreciate your thoughts!
P. P. S.: Petra: You are far from a wierdo! I'm want to be the only wierdo around here! It's all I have. tee hee.
I have to admit that there have been times in my life that I was laughed at, and there were also times when I just thought I was being laughed at (if I heard people laughing I was sure it was at me, even if there wasn't any way the laughers could have seen me when they started laughing).
I've been very obese the vast majority of my life, and I met my husband at nearly my highest weight (even if you're heavy, it's hard not to put on a few pounds dating, esp if you have a traditional guy that's trying to impress you with fancy restaurants as my hubby did when we were dating). I put an ad in the local dating column, was upfront about my weight and my dieting, and that I was open to dating guys of any size who were comfortable with both my size and my attempts to become smaller. I got a lot of responses (and a lot of odd responses), and a few dates. When I finally answered my now husband's voicemail response to my ad (I didn't think he was my "type" from his message), we clicked immediately.
Shyness does alot more to impede dating than body size. I've not dated tons, but my attractive, normal weight sister has had a much harder time dating than I ever did at her age. She's extremely shy though, and has a very difficult time letting guys know she's interested.
If you have shyness or confidence issues, you want to work on them before you're dating though, or you could end up attracting guys who are attracted to women who lack confidence. These are usually guys who are abusive, controlling, or "rescuers." The rescuers seem like white knights, but the fact is many of them NEED you to be needy, and will either become annoying trying to rescue you when you not only don't need it, but don't want it; or they leave when they find someone more in need of rescuing.
It's ironic, but when you've learned to love yourself, feel confident, and know that you don't NEED a guy, suddenly there seem to be a lot more guys wanting to date you. I never believed people who told me this, and I really would have never believed that it would be true for me at 35 years old and nearly 400 lbs, but it was.
Kaplods that was wonderful advice. That was how when I met my man I was just out to get some fun. I had no idea that i would end up married to him. let alone more than one date. My friend wanted to pick up these other guys and I said no lets go for those ones. which we did and I had never spoke up before and never had any idea or even hope that was what would have happened. But here I am.
. The real reason the guys sort of bothered me was because I'm so freakin' lonely and want a boyfriend. And when I think I look pretty some stupid boy has to laugh. It kinda ruins it.
) She joined an online dating site once. Talked with one guy. ONE. She waited for guys to e-mail her first. She didn't email anyone. That one guy that she talked with, she deemed to be too annoying, and then said the online dating thing was a waste. Well DUH. She didn't even TRY! The other thing is, she's got this ideal guy in her head, and I don't think she's willing to go out and just have a fun night with a guy. She wants that ideal relationship right away. Not that we should have low standards, but we've got to be realistic... 
