[boomerang]

Hi gang, hope everyone had a good weekend
Yesterday I was in great danger of breaking my 17 day no binge streak. I had absolutely no reason and no excuse. I simply felt like stuffing my face.

The thing that kept me from giving in was that I'm lucky if I lose .5-1#/week and THAT is now, at the start. Who knows, when I lose 20-30# it may slow down to 1#/month! I simply could not face the thought that at my next weigh in, toward the end of Dec., I'd look at the scale and see some devastating Nr.
In addition, I just knew that now that I believe I've found my solution to sticking to my program, not just to lose but also for my health, for the future, I'd back slide and binge for EVER?
With all my yoyo-ing through the years, I've never felt that I actually found the answer and that once I got to my normal weight AGAIN, I'd be able to stay there and not binge my way back up. I kind of feel that if I mess it up this time I will have no answers left.
I remember seeing celebrities who had some sort of wt. loss surgery (as there are several types now) and losing hundreds of pounds. Somehow they regained the wt. and I always thought that would be devastating to me. This is kind of how I feel with this, though I have not yet lost the wt.
Ok, loosening of associations over for now . Hope you all have a good day and a good week.

[djs06]

I completely understand. Sometimes the slowness is the most frustrating part of this. I lose about a pound a week, often less- and at my weight, I feel like it should be easier and faster. But I finally told myself that it is what it is. ANY loss is better than a gain or staying stagnant. But I think you're right- it does make you NOT want to binge or go off track- because any loss is good and you don't want to cancel it out! I am proud of you for foiling the binge, boomerang. Keep up the good work!

[boomerang]

Oh,Dana thank you! for the support and for understanding and I'm sorry you go through the same thing, but love, love, love your perspective! I've had to adopt it myself. We'll prop each other up through it all. It is the reason I don't weigh myself. MAAAAAAAJOR trigger!
I just noticed that we joined 3FC at about the same time, though I came and left a couple of times since then. That year I started out at about 235 and the following March, 2005, I re-reached my normal wt. of 129# .I won't say how...but the same way I always did, to be followed by immediate and practically uninterrupted binges, then down and up again and so on. I really, really hope that this is the last time.

After I posted I started to think of something and was wondering if anybody feels like talking about it. I really DO think of you guys, when I'm teetering on the edge of a binge or at the very least, overeating and I also learn from you. Do any of you have specific triggers and if so, what kind of coping mechanisms do you use to stay on program? Who or what sabotages you and yeah, yeah, we ALL know that ultimately ONLY WE can decide what goes past our lips, but let's face it, there are times when something or someone does something that makes that switch flip in our brain and go "to heck with it" or "only two bites" or "only today, I'll get back to doing it right tomorrow" . How do you all managed that, because I "manage" it incredibly poorly!

OK, I'll start. I am sure I will think of more but for now, the MAJOR ones:

1. The sneak attack. As I am writing this, my house if full of land mines .Everything you can imagine, from chocolate cake to crepes to candy, my favorite ice cream (though I'm not much of an ice cream person) and none of it is a problem. Why? Because I know it is there. I am armed emotionally and intellectually against it. It is a known quantity and entity and once I make up my mind that I will not eat it, it is neutralized. BUT let my parents come home and leave something unexpected on the counter, "I just thought you might...or DH might" or fill in your reason for doing something I asked at least 1000 times that they do not do and BAM!!!! I know, they love me and want to make me happy, but they don't. They know they don't make me happy. They've known they don't for at least 20 years but they can't help themselves.

Effective intervention: NONE. Anger and frustration and low threshold for resisting almost invariably lead to eating THAT and everything else I can cram into my mouth.

2. The numbers on the scale. Up= " a that's not fair binge" (which never starts out as a binge but as a "I just don't care so I'm having this" beginning. Down="yay, did not expect that, especially given that I wasn't even trying that hard; I am sure my body loses wt. much better with the additional calories"

Effective intervention: Only weigh when I go for my quarterly MD appt.

3.I'm on vacation/holiday/celebration .

Intervention: similar with my current program, namely do it at the END of the day to minimize the results of full day binges.

So...I'll stop here before I scare everyone and lose all my new friends. I'd really like to know if anyone else goes through this type of thing and how you manage to control or minimize the damage.

[djs06]

Lose your new friends? No such luck! I can relate to all of those triggers. And I had to giggle at #2- not that it's funny- but I have the saaaame justification in my head. I amended my intervention for the "no fair, I shouldn't have gained/should have lost!" scenario by telling myself that I could have a re-do the next day, "it must be water!" And I sure don't want to mess that chance for the do-over up, so that foils a binge. But if it's the same/worse the next day, I pretty much go ape on the scale and all bets are off.

As for the well meaning family members- isn't that the million dollar question?! My parents used to do that to me a lot- but now that they're 600 miles away, it's limited to long weekends. That's one way to deal with it Just kidding, I actually really miss them and want to live closer again. Anyway. My partner often wants snacks/food items that are somewhat triggering to me. Over the summer a few times it was that evil Turkey Hill Peanut Butter ice cream. I can eat the entire half gallon in one sitting, and I'm not even kidding. Anyway, I stuck it way in the back of the freezer and I didn't usually remember it when I went in to grab some frozen chicken breasts or veggies or whatever. Out of sight, out of mind (although there are certain scenarios where I'd rack my brain to figure out what to much on, ha). It sounds like you have that one down pat with all your stuff around - which is great! I don't think I'm quite there yet- but luckily, my partner's usual snack items are not really trigger foods for me. When someone brings something home under the guise of niceness and 'thinking of you,' it's much harder. And it's not something you should have to deal with after having the conversation over and over again. I sometimes employ the old "Are you going to have [whatever it is]? can I just have a little bite?" But ONLY if it's not something I'm going to be fantasizing about for the next week after having a bite.

Vacation... I have absolutely no strategies. It's like my brain conveniently forgets how easy it is to gain weight. But not partaking until the evening actually sounds like a really good strategy. Also, staying hydrated is important, and keeping some snacks around to eat before big meals is probably a good idea also?

And I can relate to losing and gaining back. I've never lost *all* of the weight I wanted to, but it always starts with a few smaller binges for me and before I know it, I convince myself that I don't care and then I don't think about my weight until something happens, like a doctor's appointment or my pants don't fit, and then I get shocked into thinking about it again. I know this can be the last time for both of us! I can really see that you're thinking about how to change the patterns and break the cycle and I think that's going to pay off in a BIG way for you!

[boomerang]

Thank you, Dana. I was editing the hack out of my post while you were responding and as for not losing my new friends, I'll hold you to that!.

I have to say, my DH is the best one in the family, re. any food related issues. If I ask, though I don't have to, he buys the things that trigger me and eats them out of the house.If I feel vulnerable to some foods, I put them in his office closet. That's really tough on the deep fried chicken . Just kidding, though IF need be, I probably would buy a separate, small refrigerator and freezer to "hide" things that are problematic and put that in his office too! As it is, I definitely wrap the "offending" items in such a way that I'm not faced with a visual every time I need something from the freezer, cupboard or drawer.

In the past, I've had, partners who sabotaged me, not in the way my parents do it but by suggesting outings to restaurants where I'd be out of control or by cooking/baking things so that when I came home tired and easily seduced (by food), I'd find dinners that were utterly awful for my diet, or desserts or what have you.

It is so lucky that you tend to find your partner's favorites somewhat easy to ignore. I am sorry you miss your family. That must be really tough . I do agree though, when my parents did not live with us, this aspect of my life was considerably easier. Lately I've been "sharing" my cholesterol and BP results with them and since both issues come courtesy of my mom's genetic history, I lay it on really thick . . That slows them down for a few weeks.
Vacations...forget it. It feels like it simply is not the same if I can't have any and all the things that I want to eat. As much as I enjoy the traveling itself, doesn't it say a lot about the activity that somehow it feels incomplete without the binges? .
The "figuring out what to munch on" scenario happens for me too. I tend to go for low cal foods that take a long time to eat, such as low fat popcorn. Also, though I am not recommending this due to the aspertame, I don't know what I'd do without the SF hard candies. I allow myself 10/day at 10cals each. One can last for about an hour and with the green tea and water that I drink all day (and keep me up all night), I somehow make it to 5PM when I eat my meal. Your suggestions are excellent and I try to do that too; having some healthy snacks (for me protein bars), helps while traveling. The problem is that I can binge on those too, BIG time and it interferes with my ability to binge at dinner
Thank you for your response. IT was fun and helpful. We're going to do this!!!

[RobertW]

I had a pretty good weekend following my new strategy of upping my calories to "future maintenance levels" (3,600 Cal) rather than eating ad libitum and actually gaining weight.

Did 1 hour of weight training and 30 min. cardio (450 Cal). I hit 1,474 Cal. at lunch, so I think I am done eating for the day. Sometimes I do better if I don't have any dinner at all, since my biggest problem is "grazing" in the evening, anyway.

boomerang and Dana Thank you for your support. This job search is particularly frustrating for me because I have accomplished so much in the past few years, publishing important papers in Science and PNAS and I still am coming up a little short.

[boomerang]

Robert, it seems like you've tweaked your eating and exercise routine in such a way that you can live with it and be prepared for the time when you reach your goal. Good for you!!!
I totally feel for you, re. looking for a tenure track/hard money position. You are probably a "victim" of the economy. It seems that regardless of publication record, people who would have retired and made room for new faculty members are staying on. A lot of people seem to be frozen in place and in...fear. With retirement accounts having lost their value and professors needing to put their kids through college on funds they thought might come from sales of houses due to downsizing, taking loans from their retirement accts., etc, are now staying put.
I am sure you already know this but it seems like small, maybe private Universities that base their hiring on teaching alone, might be a good bet. State Universities make it really tough to find a position, though your publication record would probably make you a good candidate.

As for the fate of grants...I'm not even touching THAT subject! Sometimes it may be really tempting to leave academia and go into the private sector, isn't it, especially if you do research? I really wish you well!

[tdiprincess]

Hi guys! I had a great and enjoyable weekend. I didn't count calories, and it didn't bother me one bit! I defintely ate more than I should've, but it is what it is. Not gonna change it! Today is back to normal.
:hugs: boomerang! I love all your solutions. They're very realistic and you have done a thorough self-examination. I think I might benefit from doing the same!
Robert: Awesome work on the workouts! I typically eat higher calorie over the weekend as well. Keep up the great work!!
djs: I definitely like your approach with a loss is a loss! Be happy with it!! It's much better than nothing!

Anyhow.. I'm having a good busy day as usual. Been working, cleaning, laundry and now I'm getting ready to circuit train. Then more work for a couple hours and more cleaning. Monday and Friday are now my cleaning days. The rest of the week I do some picking up and "general maintenance" I'll call it. But today it's catching up with vacation laundry and just not being around for a few days so things piled up. UGH!!

Later gators! Have a great evening!

[boomerang]

Princess, welcome back Thank you for the feedback...I am trying to figure out as many things as I can in order to meander through this thing until I get to goal and once I get there.
How great that you've had such an awesome weekend! I believe that once you've done this counting thing, as you have for a while, it is good life experience to have days when you trust your body. I think that if we don't, it will be difficult to manage all sorts of real life temptations when we're at goal. I also believe that our bodies need a break from the lower calories, as you and Robert are doing on weekends. I also seem to drop stubborn wt. just a bit faster when I have a day or two of higher calories. This is one of the reasons why I don't worry too much about 1-2 days a month of planned off program days.
Sounds like all the work you are doing with post vacation cleaning will give you quite a work out. Good for you for also getting back to your regular exercise routine .

[124chicksinger]

I literally draped a towel over a cake box filled with a cake I didn't even like! On a grocery trip with DH, he is drooling over the bakery table, strewn with "stuff" and picks up this 4 pack of muffins. He says "muffins, honey" as if they had no calories at all. "How bad can they be?" I flip it over and read to him "250 calories (he cuts me off and says "NOT BAD AT ALL")---and I continue IN HALF A MUFFIN." To me, that is just trickery!
If you don't read the details, you are duped!

So, instead of the muffins, he bought a cake - DOH!
I could live without, but I didn't like it staring at me....lol

This is a man who can never pass up 10 for $10 (bags of chips that is). Even our daughter says "DADDY STOP BUYING THIS CRAP."

Having to cook a family meal can present challenges too. Often, there is something on the table that I will have only a little of, or perhaps make myself an extra veggie.

I also agree with the scale being a big trigger. Especially since I'm currently "on" weight watchers, altho I have not followed the program for now the 3rd week and chose to calorie count instead. However, I have to continue the at-work meetings through the end of November in order to get a small rebate on my 16 week fee. As such, I have a weekly weigh in. Trust me, 3 weeks ago it was enough to drive me into a tailspin. When dieting on my own, I don't get on that scale for 3 to 4 weeks at a time. I want to make getting on that scale worthwhile, not disappointing. AND, since starting WW I've been weighing myself all the time even at home. Its sickening.

One of my challenges this week was to stay off the scale until the official WI on Wed. So far, so good. I had to break myself of it!

Actually, life itself has been a huge challenge in our home lately--we just contracted to put the house for sale--financially challenging--and I'm really surprised I've been at all successful dieting. As to the house, I'm just heartbroken, but it is what it is.

[LisaLou]

Hi! I was out yesterday on a field trip for my daughter. Hustled my hiney all around the farm, picking fresh vegetables and climbing in and out of they tractor trailer. I got a good workout in and have a healthy pot of veggie beef stew cooking in the crock today. We had a good time yesterday.

I did well over the weekend, my sneak peek shows I'm down a pound, so I'm hoping it holds until the official Friday weigh in. Trying my coffee with just a little less "foo-foo creamer" (as hubby calls it) and it's not too bad. Hoping I can slowly get those morning calories down just a bit.

Great job on not binging, boomerang! It's the daily struggles that we conquer that make this journey worth it. The pound (or less) a week loss can be tough, but I continue to tell myself that a year will pass, whether eating healthy or not. Losing a pound a week will put me 50 pounds lighter if I continue the journey. If I give up over the slow loss, then a year from now, I'll be exactly where I am. So I make the choice to keep moving forward and know that a year from now I'll be glad I did.

Keep up the great work, everyone! I love that we have each other to rely on and hold each other accountable!

Lisa

[boomerang]

Hi gang
124chicksingerso sorry about the house and for the feeling of impending loss you are going through. You are absolutely right, staying on program during this time is a real achievement. I am also thinking, since it seems that at the moment there are a few things going on that may make you feel like your control is limited, what a good way for you to EXERCISE your control by doing the things that are good for you, that give you a sense of autonomy. Good for you!!!!
Now for shopping: would it be difficult to shop without your hmmmm "helper" ? Are there things that he may like that you hate? Unfortunately there are FEW things, especially in the bakery isle, that I would find easy to pass up, but there are a couple: anything with mint, dark chocolate and one or two other things. Would it work for you to send the "assistant shopper" to pick out some things that he likes and you don't? I TOTALLY feel for you! Covering the "offending" items is a behavior in which I engage regularly . How great that you have some terrific interventions and also that the kids help.
Is it possible to ask the WW leader not to tell you what the scale shows? I've done that last week at the gyn., for my annual. I told the RN. to either accept my number (I have a calibrated scale and had just used it in preparation for my quarterly appt. with my MD) or to weigh me and not tell me the nr. because it messes with my head. She accepted my nr. I think that if you are doing absolutely ALL you can do in order to stay on your program, the wt. will take care of itself. Most people are ok with weighing and in fact it even helps but for those of us who are easily thrown, I believe a less frequent weighing may be more effective. We can always use other means of measuring our progress. I use the "next smaller" size pants. I have quite the range

Hey Lisa what a productive day! Isn't cool when you can combine two activities and benefit from both? And you lost a pound too ! That is so exciting, especially since you are making the sacrifice of lowering your "foo-foo creamer" I think you SHOULD be rewarded for that!
Thank you for the I feel exactly the way you do: no matter what I lose in the next year or two, it is more than I've lost in the last couple of years. Just like you, I try to focus on the daily lessons I learn. They are individual, finite experiences but one way or another, as you said, the year will pass and I'll be able to look back and see that I've been able to conquer some behaviors that have been such a struggle for me.
This group has become so very special and important to me, as has the Accountability thread, where we keep track of binge free days. So, so glad we all have each other!
Dana, Princess, Robert, and everybody else, hope you are having a really good day.

[RobertW]

Logged in 1 hour of Cardio this morning (920 Cal on the elliptical) and set my diet at 1,571 Cal (87g protein), assuming I don't break down and eat dinner.

I have been eating most of my calories at lunch, and skipping dinner to stay around 1,500 Cal. Fortunately I live close to the lab, so I can cook lunch at home. The University started a Tuesday Farmers market outside the building my Lab is in, so I was able to pick up some great produce to incorporate into my chicken stir fry.

boomerang and princess I think cycling the calories back up on the weekends (but not bingeing) is a really good strategy. I lift rather heavy weights in the Gym, so I probably need the extra calories if I am going to fully recover by Monday. So far I am still making strength gains AND losing weight at a good rate (5#/week), which is always tricky to do. No signs of over training thus far.

I hope everyone is doing well and sticking to their plan! Counting calories is tough, but 100% effective if we stick to it.

[djs06]

Boomerang- You are such a nicey nice lady with your responses! I'm so glad you started this thread, it is such a great check-in.

124chicksinger- I'm so sorry about the house. I hope it sells quickly and the process is as painless as it can be... and that you find a great new place to live that isn't as financially challenging. I'm so happy that you've been on track despite all this stress. We're rooting for you... keep at it, girl!

Lisa- foofoo creamer... It's a good way to put it, that's for sure. I stopped at Caribou Coffee on the way back to my building (I work at 2 different sites and am back and forth) and thought my coffee drink had maybe 200 calories and would be my "splurge" for the day. Turns out it had 390!!!! and skim milk only would have saved 10 calories so I'm glad I went for the full fat version. Ha. Coffee is my weakness. Anyway, I'll keep my fingers crossed for you for a good weigh-in on Friday!!

Robert, we have a farmers market on Wednesdays and I love it! I love talking to the farmers and have discovered so much cool new produce. Keep up the good work!

Nothing much new here. Waiting to hear back about a dream job. Haven't heard yet. Discouraging and probably negative but I guess you never know. It would mean a considerably longer commute and longer hours, so I don't know when the heck i would exercise, but it would be worth it. Keeping all crossable limbs crossed.

[boomerang]

dana, thank you, what a kind thing to say You know, I cannot take credit for the thread. When I was here in 2004 and 2009, a Daily Chat & Check-in thread existed. When I returned a couple of weeks ago I realized that it would be the easiest way for me to get to know people, so I asked Midwife if the thread still existed. Unfortunately she indicated that it did not but suggested that we start one. Turned out the Daily was a bit unwieldy and just as I was thinking that, she suggested that we make it a weekly. It helps with continuity, I think.

Wow, you and Robert are looking for positions during such a difficult time. I hope you get the answer you hope for, Dana. All crossable are crossed for you. I was thinking about your ride; what about some breathing exercises and maybe some isometrics? I remember some people raving about oxycising. I am not sure if it can be done while driving but it may be better than nothing.

Robert, hmmm Farmer's Market, Farmer's Market... I heard of those places. Isn't that where they sell FRUITS and VEGETABLES??? I heard of those OK, OK, I'll stop making trouble, GOOD FOR you and Dana
YOur excitement completely escapes me but I'll support your right to enjoy the stuff if you insist. Actually, I like some fruit too, the kind they sell AT THE BAKERY!!!! No, seriously, I envy you guys and I am trying to incorporate some of the foreign matter into my diet too.
you GO ROBERT!!!!