[boomerang]

Hi everyone. Hope you're all doing well. Wish me luck; for the first time, since I started this new journey, I am going out to eat at a restaurant and will look at calories. I've never cared about calories in a restaurant before. I've always just eaten what I wanted.
Last week I had a planned day off, when I definitely did not binge but I also did not worry about calories. Today it is different. I will be going out but I don't want to make it a "free for all". I need to learn to eat someplace other than at home and STILL stay within my 1500 cals. I am losing way too slowly to allow myself more than one or two days per month of not counting calories and not binging. On those occasions I probably eat about 3000 cals, at most.
Soooo for what it's worth...this'll be a first. Hope I can make it.

[djs06]

Hmm, we're in a new week but I'm still gonna post on this thread because I was MIA this weekend and wanted to respond to ya, Boomerang!

How did your restaurant evening go? Where'd ya go? What'd ya have? Do tell!

I am so proud of you for reaching your 21 days! They say it takes that long to form a habit, and you're doing great. I would love to read the blog, please do share! I also might check out the binge-free thread- I have posted there before, awhile ago. I had a crummy weekend, eating wise. Sigh. I thought of you because I had the same trigger- the scale.

I weighed in on Saturday morning and I was up 0.8. Okay, in the scheme of things- I KNOW that's nothing. Heck, it's like... a third of a percent of my total weight! Who cares! But I got into poor me mode. I worked so hard and got nothing. It made me angry and we went to visit a friend and I ate too much. Not terrible, but too much. Enough so that if I did my re-weighing method on Sunday, it would have been up even more. So I didn't.

Then yesterday I ate like a serious hog. SERIOUS. I don't even want to write it here because it's embarrassing. And I did it and didn't feel bad afterward. Until this morning when I beat myself up for it and then MADE myself get on the scale. Truly it's a self-abusive behavior and I always do it after I overeat to force myself to "think about what I've done." It's ridiculous behavior, I know. But for whatever reason I force myself to shock myself into better behavior.

I went to the gym cursing at myself and life. I cursed like a sailor in my head for the first 10 minutes of my workout and then started feeling better. It's a new day- I'm bloated, disappointed in myself, and still wondering if I can actually do this. If I can hang in there and continue to lose weight ridiculously slowly without just giving up. It's so frustrating but I know it's worth it.

Phew. Had to get that off my chest!

[LisaLou]

Great job, Boomerang! You're fighting the binging demons and winning! Such a great feeling to be in control.

Dana It's coming back here and posting about your frustrations that shows you want to be held accountable and move forward in a positive direction. We're seeing our patterns, realizing how it doesn't help us to succeed, and then making positive changes. That's what this is all about. Moving forward....one step at a time.... Don't be disappointed in yourself. Be proud that you didn't give up and throw in the towel. It's a slow journey, but we'll get there.

[djs06]

Thanks Lisa! I needed that! I beat myself up AGAIN and weighed in this morning. I keep hoping that if I keep sucking down water it'll go away because you don't gain 6 pounds of fat in 2 days!

I had hoped to be under 260 by the time I went to visit my family, but I'm leaving on Thursday so that's not gonna happen. Oh well.

How is everyone else?

[boomerang]

Hi gang, I will read everyone's posts since I haven't been around but thought I should cop to the fact that I am starting over

[boomerang]

Dana & Lisa I really missed you guys!!! Normally I don't do this but because it is kind of lengthy, I will copy/post my saga from the binging thread, where I just posted:
Last Saturday we went to dinner with friends and I thought I had planned pretty well. I got to the restaurant and the meal I planned, seemed to me to be extremely high in calories (1290) and the way I was assessing it, I thought it should be more like about 1000 UNLESS they injected the flimsy piece of meat with oil or something.... Anyway, this is a place, famous for its ice cream. I've never bypassed a sundae, until that night. Instead, we went to the supermarket and I got a perfectly reasonable frozen yogurt. I had enough to reach the limit of my calories for the day.
Before bedtime I was hungry. I had a small, healthy sandwich, but this put me over the limit. The next day I overate, the following day I overate but still had not binged. The third day I made my most egregious error and I weighed myself. I was up .5#. That put me over the edge and went off track. I binged! On Wed. we had a special event and I just did not count anything anymore. It was, actually, my best day of the week. I did not count calories but also did not bother to limit myself. I just ate carefully. This brings us to yesterday, when I started over.
I have an idea what my problem was: my changes were too drastic. Not in terms of calorie limit or scheduling of meals. I am quite happy with those. My difficulty was in that I changed the things I was and was not eating to such an extent that I was almost destined to have difficulty. I will need to be more flexible and not eliminate most things that I like and am accustomed to eating and substitute my favorites with things that I really dislike.
I also need to rethink the extremely rare (4 X/yr weighing, before my med. apps.) Perhaps once a month makes more sense, both in terms of motivation and accountability.
So, here I go again. I hope this time around I will earn your faith in my ability to refrain from binging...
Dana, I hope you are having a wonderful weekend with your family . They will be so very happy to see you! I am so sorry that you've run into our terrible nemesis, the ^$&^*(*^)*YTR%E^%R SCALE!!! Of course, we both weighed when we were at our most vulnerable moment As for going to the gym, talk about being strong after a slip! The only "work out" I got after my binge day was to curse OUT LOUD . If I had been able to kick myself in my derierre, I probably would have used a couple of extra calories but NO, i sat on the couch and ate the ice cream I bought for myself, the ice cream I did NOT buy for myself and a few other things that I won't mention so that I don't trigger you guys. So, there we both are, starting over!
I am glad that you gave me permission to mention the blog of our site member, whose name I don't know. Here it is:http://escapefromobesity.blogspot.com/ . In reading it, I am up to somewhere around April of 2008 and this is timely because the most useful message I came away with in the last couple of days is: DO NOT GIVE UP. NO matter what happens, just keep going forward and it will happen. Maybe not as fast as we'd like, maybe not as flawlessly as we'd like, but if we keep at it, the wt. will come off.
Lisa, you are SO right with your feedback to Dana! Coming here is key. Talking about what happens, the good, the bad and the ugly, is also important. I noticed that when I was doing fine I was here. When I didn't, I did not even LOOK at the site. I am ashamed to say that for a few moments I even considered withdrawing permanently. Then I realized that I MISSED YOU GUYS!!! I thought, even if I mess up once a week (which I hope not to do), I want to know how you are doing. I want to be there for your uneventful days, for the struggles and victories. I want to be here for the pity parties that turn into a celebration for the 2.5# lost and to find out how dinner date night was and see if a job that Dana hopes for but if she doesn't get, she can find the time to go to the gym and work out the frustration brought on by the vicious scale and all that!!! By the way, how was the workshop?
So, here is to us and our daily struggles and successes, those of us who are here and our friends who are not!

[djs06]

Boomerang!

Sorry for the delay in writing this- I didn't really have access to a computer that wasn't a PITA to type on, and I tend to get a little bit wordy in my responses.

I am so sorry that you've been struggling. Of course we still have faith in you. We ALL slip up. And it is so, so hard to not go down that slippery slope. Please be proud of yourself for starting off strong. I am sure there was a time where you wouldn't have even thought twice about it, right? We are pretty much all right there before we start trying to be healthier about our habits. See this as progress, not as a step back! You started over and I am so proud of you for that, because I think that is the hardest part. When you've got weeks of healthy habits and good eating under your belt, it's easier to stay on track. When you are disappointed about starting over, it's so much harder. And you're still doing it!

Please do keep in touch, even when you're struggling. I really think it will help so much. I also avoid 3fc when I'm ashamed, and I sometimes think I really should come to the site mid binge and try to stop it. Maybe that's worth a shot!

I'm also so glad that you're thinking about what caused the reaction. I agree that weighing monthly sounds like a good idea for you. You are more likely to be pleased with the results that way and probably less likely to weigh in at vulnerable moments. Maybe you could try setting a day way ahead of time so you can talk yourself down from the ledge if you're feeling weak.

Believe me, we all understand what you're going through.



My visit with the family was very nice. I ate entirely too much and of course made myself weigh in this morning. I kept getting different numbers but even the highest one wasn't too bad, which makes me think it was a REAL fluke, but I'm going to try to stay off the scale until my regular weigh-in day now. I wish I had better coping strategies but something about being in that environment makes me eat like a maniac. And it's not even just the meals, it's the snacking on everything, which is a habit I've mostly broken myself of when I'm in my usual environment, so it's just frustrating.

Oh well.

[boomerang]

Danaaaaaaa thank you for your sweet and supportive post and please know that there is no expectation re. when and how soon you write. Just the fact that you do is so lovely!
I think we all feel similarly about being here when we're not on plan, when we veer off, when we do something other than what we planned, especially when we announce so publicly WHAT we planned to do . I believe your idea about coming here in mid binge is a fantastic one. I think it works well with AA, NA, OA. Calling a sponsor. It may make the difference between a 500 calorie and a 4000 calorie "overage"
Wonderful, your visit with your family!!! I must say, you are waaaaaayyyyy more brave than I, to weigh yourself immediately after you came back. I often take a day or two on plan, before weighing myself, if I've had too much fun . I believe that the ridiculous and unreasonable nr. you saw on your scale before you left was evened out. You were probably retaining about 5# of water at that time and after your visit your scale was probably more accurate. I'll bet after a day or so on program it will show no gain at all, or a minimal change.
Re. your eating the way you do when you are with your family, is something that can be balanced out the rest of the time. You are with them only occasionally and if that is the worst that happens, focus on the improvements you've made in the rest of your situations and environments. The only thing that I'm thinking is this: does this only happen to me or have you noticed too, that no matter how hungry I am or how much I LOVE the way something tastes, after a few bites I no longer "taste" the item as being so delicious. I would, maybe, stop when it no longer tastes heavenly. Maybe "rate" the level of enjoyment for each item. If it does not rate a 9 or 10, stop. Maybe I will try that too, see if it works.
Do you and anyone else who might participate think that we should take this thread and change the date to reflect that we are changing it into a monthly thread? I'm thinking, if it does not seem that it is a necessary thread, perhaps the accountability thread may meet the needs of the participants more than this one. Most of the people there keep track of their binge free days but not all. I'll leave it up to the people who are still here to decide and maybe at the end of the month we'll just let it die a natural death if it makes sense.
Have a great day Dana, and anyone else who might come around.