[MissKoo]

So many good points have been made! I'll just chime in.

Number one: You are doing GREAT!!!

Number two: Some men of a certain generation seem to think that making comments about a woman's body is okay for some reason. I remember my aunt telling me about when grandpa called her "fat a*s" when she was a teen. He was basically a sweet and caring man but I do believe he said it. Why? My dad called me that, too!

Number three: I agree that sometimes older people will say things that are tactless and mean - I don't know if it is cognitive issues or just thinking they can get away with it! Long before I met my husand I had a few relationships with some "non marriage material" types. After one heated breakup my grandma (I woman I was always close to and adored) said "Well, if you'd lose a couple pounds you might attract something better." Seriously? I couldn't believe that came out of her mouth.

Number Four: Forty Pounds is an AWESOME weight loss and should be respected! Not many people can do that. It would be great if you could find a forty pound little kid to jump in his lap - See, Grandpa! That's a LOT of weight.

Number Five: Sometimes people are freaked out by change - even good change. They don't handle it well.

Number Six: Regardless what Great Grandpa says - your daughter is watching her mom take charge of her health, even tho' it can be hard and people aren't always kind.

I could feel your hurt when I read your post. I have a family "bully" that makes comments about my weight. It hurts but I have to rise above the childish, mean name calling. You (and I) are doing great!!!

Big Hugs!

[Jane]

I don't know you, but still, I'm so sorry this happened to you!

[neeci]

Ditto to what everyone else has said -- keep keeping on regardless of what grandpa says. Sending you hugs and prayers.

[Trinity1004]

Thank-you ALL for your encouragement! I woke up yesterday morning ready to get over the hurt and get my frustrations out at the gym! It's not something I'm going to forget he said but I don't have to let it eat me alive and keep me from what I know I can do! I see him very little because I just don't like visiting. I wait until everyone in the family is begging me to take the kids over there to see them then I give in and go. Next time my mom or sister can take the kids over. A visit just isn't worth it anymore to me. Anyway, I am back on track and done crying over this, he's not worth it!! Thank-you ladies for cheering me up and showing me this isn't the end of the world!

[Thinfor5Minutes]

I always say that no one can hurt us the way our own family can. Ignore the old codger. Just keep on with your weight loss, get healthy ... after all, living well is the best revenge.

[Terre]

So sorry. I really feel your pain. I live right behing my granny so I help take care of her. We lost my Papa june 3rd 2009 and she has been hateful ever since. She calls me fat all the time. I know they are old but that hurts deep. ((HUGS))

[Veil]

Somewhere I read (on 3FC) a great response: "WOW, I can't believe you said that out loud. How embarrassing for you!"

[Jane]

Originally Posted by Veil

Somewhere I read (on 3FC) a great response: "WOW, I can't believe you said that out loud. How embarrassing for you!"

I'm going to remember this one!!

[sarahyu]

That's when I turn it back on them. My father can get reallly hateful mean at times and I just look at him and say "It's time for me to leave now and I won't be back until your attitude changes" Since I live on the east coast and he's in the midwest it's a serious chore to go visit them. But I refuse to listen to him when he's being stupid. I grew up with it and won't stand for it any longer.

My aunt (father's sister) was also hateful and mean with her comments about everything and everybody. She would say, "you'd better be careful or I won't leave you anything in my will" Finally I got tired of that threat and told her "Old lady I want you to spend all your money and not leave anyone anything. It's your money, you earned it and I don't want it." So she finally dropped that threat.

Some people are just jerks. Nothing will change them. Just avoid them as much as possible. I did that with my aunt and I do it to my dad. Life is too short for it to be filled with bitter people.

On another point, I really couldn't tell when my friend who weighed over 300 pounds lost 50 pounds. Just because I didn't really pay that much attention to her body. When she lost 100 pounds then I could tell. I really don't pay attention to what people look like when I hang out with them.