You can't cheat with food. Healthy food won't get jealous if you eat a cupcake. You did not exchange vows with cottage cheese. So the idea of cheating with food is impossible - erase it from your vocabulary.
There are some people in this world that refuse to eat bad foods. You know, the people who NEVER have dessert, who wouldn't DREAM of overindulging, who get bloated even LOOKING at an apple. Basically the people you want to slap silly. I am not one of those people, and you probably aren't either. I'm allowed to have cake because I'm human.
Ok, so I can't have it every day, whenever I feel like it, or even as much as I want. But I can have it and from time to time I do. I write it down, incorporate the calories into my daily allotment, and on with my life I go.
The way I look at it is that I can only take one step at a time. Right now I'm focusing on reducing my portions and sure enough I am getting used to eating less. At first it was hard because there's a big difference between 1 cup of rice and the whole pot of rice, right? But eventually your body learns to adjust to eating normal portions of food. I don't beat myself up if I spend my calories on cake or fried foods etc. Rome wasn't built in a day and one just doesn't all of a sudden get rid of pasta from their diet on a whim.
I have been noticing though that certain types of foods make me feel certain ways. Fruit makes me feel good, while fried food makes me feel heavy and lethargic. That doesn't mean I'm giving it up, but I'm learning how to incorporate these foods into my diet and using them purposefully. I know that when I want to feel really good right off the bat I'll eat yogurt with fruit in the morning. On the other hand if I'm having a relaxed morning I'll have scrambled eggs with ham.
Eventually I do hope I cut out almost all fried foods out of my diet. But focus on maintaining your caloric intake and getting used to that first before you start blaming cake.
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