i get those comments as well! and while a lot of friends or aquaintances say it because i look great a few family members and not so good friends say it out of jealousy and )dare i say it) spite. it has that tone where they're saying in a bad way like i don't look good or healthy. and i HATE it! i figure as long as i'm not classified as UNDERweight that i'll get as skinny as i want to! haha
I got those comments too, when I first dropped the weight. Then after awhile, people just got used to the "new" me and the comments stopped. Maybe it will just take a while for people to get used to how you look now.
Most people don't stop to think about what they are saying (that means all of us, ha, ha) and it's only a passing comment and then they even forget they said it. I have people telling me that I've lost enough weight and it's time to stop. I just look at them and tell them I'm actually still overweight and have at least another 15 pounds to go. Most of these people could lose a few pounds themselves and are probably comparing their weight to mine. They think they look ok, so I should feel ok about my weight. And I've had people ask me if I'm sick, which I'm definitly not and don't look sick either. It's just another comment on life's journey just like you might say "It's cold out today, wish it would warm up." Then you don't think about it anymore. So I'd not put much store in what people say, especially if they are mere aquaintances.
A few years ago I managed to get down to 163. Someone commented that I looked great. When I told her that I still had more to lose before hitting goal, she thought I was trying to get too thin. Hello!!! I'm only 5'2". Not to mention, this person is very lean and is not only a dietitian but also a fitness instructor. Who knows, maybe I should have taken it as a compliment coming from someone like her. Right now my goal is set at 135, but I'll see how I look/feel when I get there since that is actually the high end of the weight range for my height.
I hear it almost every week. While my weight hasn't changed in many, many months, my shape has. I continue to exercise and firm those "problem areas". My skin continues to shrink ever so slowly and cling to my body a little more and sag a little less.
I have found that weight loss comments that show concern about how much I have lost usually fall into two categories:
1. People who truly care about me - their comments are along the lines of - "are you done? You look great! Don't lose any more because you have found your ideal weight!"
2. People who don't truly care about me (and are often a tad overweight or unhappy with their weight) - "I thought you were going to stop at a size 8. You really should have. You are too thin now. You need to put on about 10 more lbs."
As others have said - it is between me and my doctor - who incidentally is thrilled with my current weight. My knees are thrilled too
Bottom line - make sure you are exercising and doing what you can to tone and strengthen those "problem areas". Time is also on your side. Your body isn't finished changing yet. But - ignore those folk! YOU and your doctor know the best weight for YOU!
Last edited by CountingDown; 02-07-2009 at 04:26 PM.
People say that because to them, it's shocking that you have went from 215 to 147! That is a large amount of weight to lose & I'm willing to bet you look completely different than you used to @ your starting weight. People say that stuff all the time, I hear, don't go as low as 140 that's too skinny! But I'm like, how can you think that, it's 40 lbs away! I think it's just shock when people realize my goal was to lose 100 lbs.... The fact that you have lost so much weight probably makes it all that more shocking to those around you... Keep going until you are comfortable, don't stop for anyone but yourself. It took starting for yourself to get this far after all..
I hear it all the time, too. I have found that my comfort range is 118-124 or so. I did get sick before Christmas and dropped down to 115 and those pounds made a big difference. Like Schumeany, at that low weight I did look sick. I gained a little back, but still get the 'too thin' comments. I tell everyone who mentions it that I'm not losing weight anymore, that I'm maintaining.
I too dealt with this just this week. Last weekend after posting my avatar picture on another site. Someone close to me made the comment about reaching goal and I just laughed and said I still had another 40 lbs. to go; they were like that is messed up and that I didn't need to lose 40 lbs. and that if I tried it was going to "kill" me.
Excuse me.... I am eating healthier than I ever have and I know that 118 - 128 is an excellent weight for me.
Unfortunately most of the comments I get come from people who are overweight and have no concept of what a healthy weight is and are the same ones that think I look good as an obese woman.
The sad truth is people always think they have a right to an opinion on someone else's body. When we're fat they say things like "Do you need to eat that?" or "Maybe you should go for a walk tonight." When you lose weight they think it's less rude to come right out and say "I think you're too thin, stop losing weight" because really, how could calling someone skinny be an insult?
People need to realize that making running commentary on someones body, fat or thin, is rude and anything more than a "Wow, good for you, you're looking great," really is not necessary.
As others have mentioned I'd just mention something along the lines of "Thanks for your concern, but I'm doing this in a healthy way. If I'm still losing weight it's because my body is still getting to where it should be."
I suppose to me so long as you were losing the last few kilos to feel comfortable in yourself and improve your over all health and fitness levels - and that you were maintaining a healthy eating pattern I wouldn't be concerned by what other people say.
I myself have been guilty at least of thinking these kind of thoughts about a friend of mine I hadn't seen in a long time. The last time I saw her she was a big girl - when I recently saw her she had lost a TONNE of weight. To me, who knew her always as "large" it was a shock to me how skinny (comparatively) she was - her collar bones and shoulder points stuck out! However in reality she was still losing/toning up and when I looked objectively (and from my own weightloss perspective) I could see that.
However, I have also been in the position myself where I was obsessed with losing weight off my "problem" areas - like you my thighs and hips as I am a definite Pear!
I continued to lose weight far past anything remotely healthy - down to about 50kgs (112 pounds) - I'm 5'6 with a medium frame. I started with a healthy goal in mind and when I reached it and I saw my thighs were still "huge" I would reassess and go lower - and lower - and lower.
Unfortunately for me what I didn't realise at that time was that I was never going to change my overall proportions. All I did was make myself sick, gaunt and a head on a stick lol.
These days I know I am most comfortable around 136 - 140 pounds - if I drop much below I start to look much to gaunt in the face and upper body.
But in short - don't worry about what others say. In the end its your own opinion that matters since you have to live in YOUR body after all lol.
As long as you don't look like a walking skeleton and you are healthly, you have to feel good at the weight. People will always make comments but you have to be happy with yourself and don' worry too much what people say.. Sometimes losing weight can be addictive but as long as you aren't developing an eating disorder and not putting your health at risk, get to the weight that you feel comfort at and also in your height range. I'm 5'4 and I'd like to get to 125 or 120 which is in my height range but I wouldn't want to go below 110..
To some people who were used to seeing you at a larger weight,your appearance may be shocking to them because they are accustomed to your larger frame,and as you well know there are folks out there that have little to no tact.those people irritate me.Id just say that youre not disappearing anytime soon so dont worry about it
BTW: Congrats on your loss!!
Think about being at your high weight and hearing someone (in a healthy weight range) talk about how they hate their thighs. It can be annoying I am sure.
If you have lost an appreciable amount of weight, compared to your starting weight, it isn't just a change for you, but for all the people you know. They are used to seeing a heavy person, so suddenly, you must look emaciated to them! It's not because they are jealous or you are too skinny, it's just the comparison.
I think there might be an unconscious alarm we all feel when someone loses body mass so quickly it is visibly noticeable. We get afraid and think they are starving or sick, because losing weight is what happens when there is illness or no food. Of course, we know that is silly, food is plentiful and you haven't been sick, so we come up with the explanation that you must be too thin, or shouldn't get thinner.
I do get all the "you look so skinny" comments, the "you lost more, didn't you" even when I haven't changed for a few weeks. It isn't maliscious, everyone is thrilled for me. It really seems to be the whole comparison deal, nothing left handed. Because, well, I AM skinny compared to the me who used to weigh 80 pounds more.
