(I posted this on the last thread, but I meant to do it here.)

New here, new to the commitment to myself....love keeping track of calories as I have a healthy relationship with OCD. (The green smilie is OCD, the pink is me.) I am exclusively nursing twins, so my caloric intake is a lot higher than what others would eat to lose weight. (Each baby required 300-500 extra calories) I need about 1800-2000 bare minimum. I do Curves 3 times a week, would like to go 4-5 times.

Today I didn't focus on calories, only eating what I thought was a very healthy day. Here's my day's intake:

Breakfast - 1 egg, 1 oz. ham, 1/2 oz. cheese, 1 slice whole grain bread, coffee,
Snack - 1 small apple
Lunch - 1 whole wheat tortilla, 1/2 c. refried beans, 1/2 c. rice, 1/2 banana
Snack - 1 whole wheat tortilla, Moroccan chickpea salad, 1 c. soymilk, protein powder (1/2 scoop)
Dinner - 1 whole wheat tortilla, 1/4 c. refried beans, green pepper, onion
1 T light sour cream
Updated - Snack - 1 whole wheat tortilla, 1/4 c. refried beans, green pepper, onion, 1 T light sour cream, hot sauce

Okay, when I punched it all into my Excel spreadsheet (GEEK!) it was 1487.7 calories, FitDay says 1439. It says I had 38g fat (24%), 238g carbs (56%), and 71g protein (20%). All whole grains, only 3 tsp. refined sugar in my coffee.


I'm scared because I've been reading that if you start too low, you'll have no where to go. But I'm also scared that if I eat closer to 2000 calories, I'll not lose, or worse, gain. I actually GAINED 10 pounds after they were born, but I'm back down to almost the same weight I was before I stopped losing the post-preggo weight. I was mindlessly eating sweets and not exercising, I wasn't keeping track but I know it was more than 2000.

Have I totally thrown my body out of wack?? In college I starved myself to lose about 30+ pounds in 2 months, playing sports and exercising like crazy. (Also got very ill with mono and developed complications in my liver, but that's another story!) Did doing that screw my metabolism up forever? I'm so unhappy with how I feel and look - it contributes to my depression.

I'm glad I've found this group - it makes me feel more accountable to myself and my health. (The green smilie is 3FC now!) Thanks in advance for your help - so many of you have made so much progress, it is more inspiring that you can know!

Hi! I think it sounds like you're doing really really well, but my hunch is that you should probably eat more to get your metabolism back on track. I haven't had twins, but I am one of those lucky people who gained weight while nursing. I think I was sleep eating because I was so tired! My nursing experience basically taught me that if I ate fat and sugar that my babies didn't really need I'd put it right on my behind, but that if I ate more healthy calories my kids would drink it up and off.
I know it is possible to mess up your metabolism, but everything I've read, and my own experience says that the way to overcome that issue is to eat only slightly below what you will actually burn in calories every day and to make sure that every calorie feels like nutrition to your body. It's my understanding that an almost sedentary woman burns fifty calories an hour, just being alive. That's 1200 calories a day. If each nursing baby needs another 300 calories, that's 1800 calories a day. I am sure that even if you are only toting the kiddos around that you are burning more than that.
I encourage you to try getting more calories than you're currently getting...1400 calories probably isn't enough to convince your body that you aren't starving to death under the circumstances you describe.
A really good "success story " on this website is Gloriana's very long weight loss story. Today, at maintenance weight she is under 130 lbs and has no nursing infants , but makes sure to eat between 16-1800 calories of apparently pure nutrition. Right now she's my role model and her plan makes a lot of sense.
Mom to mom, I know what you mean about feeling bad about how you feel and look. I try to remember being at my prepregnancy weight and know that I hung upside down on the monkey bars at some point in my life and I'd like to do it again before I die. I can say that after eating better and getting the exercise I so desperately need as well as a little more sleep, I feel a lot better already. I actually smiled at my husband today and played with the kids in the car without passing out from fatigue! I guess that old saw about taking care of the momma is true. Best wishes!

Hi, Me again, I was looking at another thread and found this comment by Ennay about her calorie intake. You might want to look her up...

Age 36
- Current weight/goal weight 138.4/? 128 or so
- Exercise frequency - run 4 days (3@4-5 miles, 1@10 and up) stationary bike 2x, weights 2x
- Daily calorie intake - target 2000-2100 except on long run day where it is ~ 2600. I actually average 2200-2300/day including planned and unplanned overages. I'm also exclusively nursing (edit: currently nursing is worth about 600 calories so this would be closer to me eating 1600-1700 if I werent nursing)__________________

Hi,
I replied to you about this on another thread that you posted on. If you need any more help, let me know.

Aphil

Thanks for the support and info. I've been posting on the nursing forum as well.

After I posted, I ate some more and brought my days calories up to 1750 with no refined anything, other than a little bit of sugar in my coffee in the morning.

After reading what you all said and the obvious concern for me (and the kiddies!) I searched my heart and agree that somewhere between 1800-2200 is a good range for me. I just want to lose this weight so desperately that I'm almost willing to do anything. I feel so bad and depressed (I've been this way since my 2 year old daughter was 6 weeks old, and exercise is the only thing that helps) and out of control, but I'm regaining it.

I'm surprised that it isn't like a light-switch. I thought when I made a commitment to myself and my family that it would be instantanous mental change (and therefore instantaneous physical change). I can tell myself that 1-2 pounds a week is a healthy and appropriate goal, but after 2 days of eating right, you almost expect to look 30 pounds slimmer, know what I mean?

I didn't realize how much of a mental thing this was going to be - I mean, I knew it was going to be half mental, but I thought it would be easier to change. I'm such a strong willed person, but I feel so weak when it comes to this. I know that the depression is part of the problem - the lack of motivation and uncontrollable mood swings that come with it are crippling and demoralizing. It seems like such a long road to travel (and it will be) that it seems pointless to even start.

I'll do the 1800-2200 calories per day, and NOT weigh myself for another week. That's another difficult thing - but no one ever said this was going to be easy. I have found that how I see myself in the mirror is determined by what the scale says. If I weigh myself and I have lost even a pound, I "appear" to look better. But if I weigh again and have gained or not lost, then when I look I "appear" to look fatter. But the thing of it is, I can do that in the same day, when any weight that is gained or lost is water or wastes. Even though I KNOW that I am not any different than I was that morning, I still look different once I have a number. Maybe I'll get my husband to take it out of the house until next week, because even if I put it in the basement, I will not be able to stop myself from going down there. I know that must sound crazy and that's just one more thing that I can't stop myself from doing. Okay, positive....that's just one more thing that I CAN CONTROL and WILL.

Yesterday I made a motivational powerpoint show - pictures of myself, clothed and nude (eek!) front, side and back, with large prints of my weight and the statement "This is your life, Carrie" to remind me that yes, that is me no matter how disgusting I find myself. But then I put a slide in there with motivational statements and my next Curves weigh-in, and another "This is your life, Carrie" statement. I also put in several slides with reasons why I do want/need to lose weight. Not all about the numbers though, and most of them were more health related than aesthetic.

Thanks for listening....this was quite a ramble! I appreciate the support and need it so much. I hope that very soon I will be the one offering support.

Thanks for the support and info. I've been posting on the nursing forum as well.

After I posted, I ate some more and brought my days calories up to 1750 with no refined anything, other than a little bit of sugar in my coffee in the morning.

After reading what you all said and the obvious concern for me (and the kiddies!) I searched my heart and agree that somewhere between 1800-2200 is a good range for me. I just want to lose this weight so desperately that I'm almost willing to do anything. I feel so bad and depressed (I've been this way since my 2 year old daughter was 6 weeks old, and exercise is the only thing that helps) and out of control, but I'm regaining it.

I'm surprised that it isn't like a light-switch. I thought when I made a commitment to myself and my family that it would be instantanous mental change (and therefore instantaneous physical change). I can tell myself that 1-2 pounds a week is a healthy and appropriate goal, but after 2 days of eating right, you almost expect to look 30 pounds slimmer, know what I mean?

I didn't realize how much of a mental thing this was going to be - I mean, I knew it was going to be half mental, but I thought it would be easier to change. I'm such a strong willed person, but I feel so weak when it comes to this. I know that the depression is part of the problem - the lack of motivation and uncontrollable mood swings that come with it are crippling and demoralizing. It seems like such a long road to travel (and it will be) that it seems pointless to even start.

I'll do the 1800-2200 calories per day, and NOT weigh myself for another week. That's another difficult thing - but no one ever said this was going to be easy. I have found that how I see myself in the mirror is determined by what the scale says. If I weigh myself and I have lost even a pound, I "appear" to look better. But if I weigh again and have gained or not lost, then when I look I "appear" to look fatter. But the thing of it is, I can do that in the same day, when any weight that is gained or lost is water or wastes. Even though I KNOW that I am not any different than I was that morning, I still look different once I have a number. Maybe I'll get my husband to take it out of the house until next week, because even if I put it in the basement, I will not be able to stop myself from going down there. I know that must sound crazy and that's just one more thing that I can't stop myself from doing. Okay, positive....that's just one more thing that I CAN CONTROL and WILL.

Yesterday I made a motivational powerpoint show - pictures of myself, clothed and nude (eek!) front, side and back, with large prints of my weight and the statement "This is your life, Carrie" to remind me that yes, that is me no matter how disgusting I find myself. But then I put a slide in there with motivational statements and my next Curves weigh-in, and another "This is your life, Carrie" statement. I also put in several slides with reasons why I do want/need to lose weight. Not all about the numbers though, and most of them were more health related than aesthetic.

Thanks for listening....this was quite a ramble! I appreciate the support and need it so much. I hope that very soon I will be the one offering support.