so i've totally been searching 3FC, trying to find someone who is having this problem too because it's somethign that i've been struggling with a lot over teh past couple weeks.
It's so weird because i look at the facts-2 pant sizes down, and 30 pounds lost- and i know that i must be smaller. jeans that i couldn't button before, now fit nicely.
But i look in the mirror, and i see the same me. Still fat.
I'm really hoping this goes away, and that ill be able to see a realistic image of me and what i look like. I think that this is also one of the reasons i am having trouble choosing a goal weight, because i still see me as being that same 168 pounds, and therefore teh idea of stopping losing weight is a little bit scary.
The psychological stuff makes a lot of sense. Stupid brains, why do they have to do that to us!!! lol
I have lost about 60??? lbs since I decided it was time to lose some weight, around last April. About 30 was until this January, after I had spent a lot of time slacking. I kicked up the gear the last few months and I am finally starting to see myself as a thinner. Sometimes I will just 'feel' fat, mental guilt, whatever. I find that if I touch my body though and really examine it in a mirror, I start to feel better and better about myself because I can really tell the difference from where I started and where I am now. Taking measurements helps a lot too. If you accept yourself and try to really get in tune with your body perhaps you will start to see how far you've gone and feel better about the 290,500 stored calories you have shed from your bod!
I took me YEARS before I automatically went to the smaller end of the clothes racks in stores. I've been on this journey for about 8 years now and at my current size for about 7 of them, and there are times that I look at me and my clothes and feel huge. Other times, I'm still amazed at how small and fit I look and feel. On the "mental fat days" I put on a pair of size 16 pants that didn't zip on the day I started, and watch them fall down. I will keep those always- they are a great reminder of reality.
I like that! Once you've acheived a healthy goal weight and obtained a good level of fitness, the ONLY place where you can remain "fat" is your mind. For me, changing the way I think about myself has been much harder than reshaping my body.
I like your pants "ritual" Mel and I'm totally stealing it!
All my saggy baggy skin has me feeling that way sometimes. But, as others have said - it does get better with time.
One thing that often surprises me. I catch a glimpse of myself in a mirror or store window when I wasn't paying attention. I am actually surprised by the person looking back at me - I barely recognize that person.
And yes, it is the same for family members. DH still has a hard time finding me in a store - he often walks right past without even noticing that it is me
Pictures DO help. I click on my own goal pictures sometimes, just as a reality check on those days when I'm feeling "big".
Mel: i do that in the stores too. i work at a clothing store where everything is by size and so ill be hanging pants in the size 12's (my former size) and see a cute pair and think "oh wow! maybe ill buy these ones" and then i have to remind myself that they wouldn't fit me.
I've also had occasions where i've walked past the size 8 rack (my current size) and think "wow those are cute. i wish i was small enough to wear them" and then glance up to see them hanging under my current pant size. It shocks me, and ive prolly done it about 20 times.
I constantly forget that my size has gone down.
See, your brain does something called "pattern recognition and completion" for things that you see frequently. You recognize some basic features of an item you see all the time, and your brain fills in the rest to save time and energy, and to allow you to identify things you see all the time faster. So your brain recognizes the basic elements of you and fills in the rest of the image of you from previous memory.
So our friends and family could still be seeing us heavier also then?
Fascinating! Not only why we still see ourselves as not thin but also why others who see me regularly still haven't noticed. hm.
Does this apply for getting bigger as well, if you haven't been bigger that long? Until last August I weighed 175, as I have most of my life since I hit my current height of 5'10". Then I went to college and by December, I weighed 212. But when I looked in the mirror, I didn't look *that* big. But then I'd see a picture and be like, "Is that really me? I'm not THAAAT big." But maybe I was suffering from the opposite effect, being used to being 175 and my mind not catching up to 212. Of course, if that's the case, I don't care if it didn't catch up, seeing as I've already said goodbye to the 200's now... FOREVER, and should be down to 175 again by the end of the summer, and then past that. But can that happen in the reverse way?
I am feeling thin today I have this great pair of dark red cords, they are a close fit and there are some days I put them on and they feel too tight, or I feel too big to wear them. Today - they fit great and I feel awesome!
Same here. I sure hope my perception will change over time, because it IS annoying.
On the other hand, maybe it's because I'm at my lightest weight since being, uh, 11 or so, and now I can feel every slight variation (I swear, if I happen to gain on 1 lb, I feel like I've gained 10 all of a sudden...).
The photo trick is a good idea. I think I'll go snap a pic with me wearing my cute gothic-lolita dress with a corset and plenty of ribbons. Maybe I'll see myself the way I really am now!
Ooooooooooooh I love gothic lolita. I'm so jealous. Do you have any idea how hard it is to find gothic-lolita things online that fit someone 5'10"? Considering so many are from Japan and the Japanese are so much shorter than me (no I can't sew). But I love it so much.... T_T My favorite fashion. *is jealous* I kind of want to see a picture of you like that. I bet you look adorable.
I don't know if I look adorable, I just hope I don't look too old for that.
Granted, it's not easy at my height either. I have large enough boobs (nothing to do with overweight, I'm a sturdy C/D even now) for them to be a problem when it comes to buying Asian brands. Something's always doomed not to fit. T_T
Picture, picture... If the weather allows it, I'll wear it tomorrow evening, so we'll see.
Great topic! I too have a big issue with this and never have gotten many goal pictures and the few I see do astound me BUT I still am so critical of the body parts I felt at issue with. I know everyone say MY g-d for your age you look like a 20 year old. And I recently had an illness and gained a few pounds and now am NEUOTIC about getting them back off . I know I will and when your way older it doesn't come off easy!
I think our brains process our weight loss slower and therefore it takes a while for us to see who we are morphing into.
*hugz*
Yup, I agree with this. I think we are pretty much the last to see ourselves as we really are. It's like your mind wouldn't process the weight loss or something.
I was shopping this weekend and I kept looking at my reflections in the store windows as I walked by. My hips, my thighs, my waist...it all looked so "normal". I looked normal and not big and, honestly, it confused me. It confused me because when I look at myself (nekkid) in the mirror, I see fat...
I don't think there's anything wrong with you. I just think you need a bit of help in seeing yourself as you truly are.
I have this great pair of dark red cords, they are a close fit and there are some days I put them on and they feel too tight, or I feel too big to wear them. Today - they fit great and I feel awesome!
