I don't feel like a fake as much as I feel like a fraud (if that makes sense). It's because I can't seem to motivate myself to lose those last 7 pounds! Yes, I've lost 30+ pounds but I want to be able to say I lost 40. So I feel like a diet fraud because I've only yo-yo'd since December. However, this week has been a Godsend as I've lost 3.5 pounds already and I think the motivation has returned! I sure hope I don't feel like a fraud for much longer!!
Lol, Allison, I can relate to this one too. I say I've been a maintainer for nearly 3 years, but for the last year I've yo-yo-ed from 3-12 pounds over my desired maintenance weight, and haven't been able to get those lbs off yet. At what point do I get kicked out of the "maintainer's club"? I'm always scared the rest of the maintainers are rolling their eyes when I post, thinking "she's not really a maintainer anymore!"
I moved from college to Florida mid-weight loss, so nobody here knew me at anywhere near my highest weight. Most of my friends here know I was much heavier, but I don't think they really get it. I had a little meltdown with my BF of 2 1/2 years a few weeks ago over when we eat dinner, and me needing to eat when I need to eat. I told him "It's embarrassing for me to demand we eat when we're supposed to, because I feel like the fat girl whining for food!" He's the closest person to me in the world, knows I was heavier, and it's very important for me to eat healthily and work out. Yet his response was that he had no idea I felt this way. I would suspect nobody else IRL knows I feel like the fat girl inside, either, based on his surprise.
Thank goodness I have lots of supportive people here at 3FC who understand what I'm talking about!
I had a little meltdown with my BF of 2 1/2 years a few weeks ago over when we eat dinner, and me needing to eat when I need to eat
Megan please don't feel embarrassed over your need to eat at specific times again. I have the same need. It's great that you were able to explain this to your BF. My DH is cued into this as well. Dinner is a 6:00pm! If he's not there I'll keep it warm, but I gotta eat then.
My rationale is that sporadic unplanned eating is what caused me to gain the weight. You know, those days when you were out with friends and lunch got delayed till 3:00pm and now you find yourself sitting in a restaurant surrounded by so.... many.... choices...I know that if I can make balanced food choices at regular intervals I can behave myself in these situations, usually. But if sporadic eating occurs more frequently I break. I have to fight really hard to reign myself back into control. If I just throw caution to the wind and eat whenever and whatever is convenient with disregard for the need to refuel my body I know that I will gain back the weight. It was my experience that being overweight was a lot more inconvenient and well for me, embarrassing, than trying to convince my peers it was time for some real eats.
OMG, I missed that! Sweetie, if we kicked you out for being a few pounds over goal, we'd have to kick me out too -- and just about everyone else who posts in Maintainers.
Megan, you are a wonderful and inspirational success story. Don't you ever dare feel like a failure or a fraud or anything like that, because you are anything but!! For a lot of us, maintenance is a rollercoaster of ups and downs rather than staying at a steady weight. It sure is for me -- I put on a few pounds and then am back into diet mode and take them off. I don't think I'm ever actually "maintaining", as in weighing the same thing day after day.
Just look at how far you've come! And look at how well you're doing! My heavens, let's keep it in perspective ... 3 1/2 pounds is NOTHING compared to what you've kept off.
Dear, sweet Megan, you are such an important and valued member of Maintainers! We're never letting you leave, so you're stuck with us.
Needless to say, I became MUCH more sympathetic towards overweight people VERY quickly once *I* packed on the pounds. Karma is a b*tch! My definition of beauty has also become completely redefined by having once been overweight.
I'm still a fat girl inside. When people say mean things about others' weight, I feel compelled to state my disapproval.
Yeah, agree with all that. Last time I lost a lot of weight I was amazed by how rude and uncaring people can be to others, because suddenly thin people were letting their guard down and making fun of large people in front of me. And as a person who gained a lot of weight from medicines mostly (twice in my life), I found that my entire world view changed and I really feel the need to call people on their rudeness now, regardless of what shape I am in at the time. Last year I was in the best shape of my life and weighed 135, and yet inside I was still really thinking of myself as large and was very personally offended when people made fat jokes or whatever in front of me. You gain a lot of insight if you have ever struggled with your weight, I guess, and that's definitely not a bad thing, anyway.
Dear, sweet Megan, you are such an important and valued member of Maintainers! We're never letting you leave, so you're stuck with us.
Awww, tearing up at my desk trying to hide it from my co-workers right now. Thanks Meg.
They're stuck with me forever! Just kidding.
I once mentioned something about how "I used to be heavier" (in response to someone's query about my working out a lot) and she said, "Me too! I think it makes us more interesting people. It builds a lot of character." I definitely believe this. Experiencing life from a variety of perspectives, so to speak, I know makes me feel like I can understand and relate to other people more, and perhaps makes my world view a bit more complete (or a bit less incomplete, perhaps, b/c there's a lot I haven't experienced in this world!). Does that make sense?
This is a good topic, and it is hard to cope with. My boyfriends sister and mom are tiny. Sister is a 0 if not smaller and her mother is a 2 at age 53. They have always been thin and what not, but keep in mind they are not healthy by ANY MEANS!!!!! (life of processed food, smoking, drinking, and soda) Thank god my boyfriend understands and participates in the whole concept of being healthy and changing your life for the better! Anyway....they are constantly making fun of heavy people. I once weighed in over 250 pounds, and still haven't told them. I guess it hurts to hear people talk about others that way, but at the same time it's a token of their character, and i suppose i'm not about to correct anyone on that. Then again they don't really know how it feels to be treated differently because you're overweight. They don't know what it is like to feel 120 and look 200, and i suppose you can't really make them know. I don't think it's a good idea to tell them really because then you get that look of ohhhh...and they'll still make the comments just not around you. I agree with the comment of "why not say something positive about those people". His mom and i went to workout one day and there was a couple there working out and they were definately 300+, and when we came out she started talking about them, and I simply said....well I'm sure it's hard to workout in public with people like you around, and think it's incredibly motivating that they are there doing something about it. That was the last time she asked me to workout with her. LOL thank god!
I have a couple family members who are either completely ignorant or have such low self esteem that they like to point out how skinny they are to others. It's so irritating. It's almost as if they want to spark some sort of jealousy out of me or my sister. My sister isn't over weight but she gets bothered by the comments just as much as I do. It's like they say "oh I'm soo skinny!" as if it's a bad thing and in return they want to hear you say "oh I wish i were you!" or "you're not too skinny, you're pretty" etc. or they want you to notice (again) that they are skinny and you are not. Constantly fishing for compliments. Saying negative things that they know aren't really wrong with them just so that they hear the compliments. Or randomly one will say that they like it when they *finally* have some poofy-ness to their stomachs after eating because they're just so skinny. Saying this to someone who is struggling to lose 100+ pounds isn't very nice, especially when it's an obviously off topic but purposely said aloud comment. I guess it's just better to keep certain people at a distance from you, even if they are family.
good job on saying something to her though. I hate it when people get their sense of self worth out of pointing out the flaws of others.
Hi Robert! Good to see you posting again -- we've missed you. 
please don't feel embarrassed over your need to eat at specific times again. I have the same need.
those days when you were out with friends and lunch got delayed till 3:00pm and now you find yourself sitting in a restaurant surrounded by so....
many....
I know that if I can make balanced food choices at regular intervals I can behave myself in these situations, usually. 
But if sporadic eating occurs more frequently I break. I have to fight really hard to reign myself back into control. If I just throw caution to the wind and eat whenever and whatever is convenient with disregard for the need to refuel my body I know that I will gain back the weight. It was my experience that being overweight was a lot more inconvenient and well for me, embarrassing, than trying to convince my peers it was time for some real eats. 
Don't you ever dare feel like a failure or a fraud or anything like that, because you are anything but!! For a lot of us, maintenance is a rollercoaster of ups and downs rather than staying at a steady weight. It sure is for me -- I put on a few pounds and then am back into diet mode and take them off. I don't think I'm ever actually "maintaining", as in weighing the same thing day after day. 
Just kidding. 
