My day was pretty much the same as yesterday, except more time was spent on the cabinets today, painting the enamel, then matching up the doors and drawers and hardware. Didn't get out into the garden til 5pm and dh wanted me to sit on the deck with him at 7, so not much done out there either, but every little bit makes me happy. Thought I had broccoli, but it was cauliflower instead, so that went in today, along with spinach, french bush green beans and blue-green cabbage. If I can find some broccoli tomorrow after church, I'm gonna get some cause I just love the stuff.
Diet still op and I lost 3.6# this week. I'm not sure, still, if the oolong tea is helping or what, but I'm just not having any urges or cravings. I'm so at ease with the whole scheme of things. I am so thankful for this and to all who are struggling, because i know it could very well be me.
For all you porch junkies, Shay, Paula, Anjuli,Zinke,Nori and Amy (myself chief of all), come on over . . . there's even a day bed on the deck,(see pic) plus lots of rockers, chaise lounge, wicker, all kinds of ways to relax. And especially bring those cabana boys . . . I mean, they can fraternize when they're not tending to our, uh, needs.
Seriously, though, all this talk made me think about the possibility of home exchange. DH and I belong to one and have really enjoyed some cool exchanges, especially the one in Lake Tahoe. Great place and no hotel bills. In our exchange, you don't have to do it at the same time, you can bank your stay until you can arrange a good time, etc. You can do it with the people there, or not. Just a thought, but I'm open to it. There are a total of 6 bedrooms here, so several could come at once even.
On the other hand, we could really use some extra "hired" hands, there are about 500 or so spindles, plus top and bottom rails to paint every couple of years, not to mention the under side of the deck. Yeah, come on over and we'll have your ball and chain, er, I mean your room ready for you . . .
Anna, I too am a basic survivalist. I even had (in the past) strong, IV medications stowed away (when we lived in CA and there was high risk for earthquakes) just in case any family member was so injured that they couldn't be moved (with say a house on top of them or something), then I could provide relief for them (as a nurse). And I too like to have the basic survival gear in my car, even including wrist BP cuff, thermometer besides the usual flashlight, hand sanitizer, blanket, gloves - warm and functional, etc. But DH is got to be the extreme, I mean, two fridges (used to be 3) and two freezers and a well-stocked pantry (see pic) - and there is only the 3 of us. But, he may be onto something with the food crises everywhere, hmmm . . . .
Faire - you can do it, see you at the beach!!!
Jaime - congratulations on your graduation.
VixJean - These sad days make the happy ones even brighter by comparison. You went with it, lit a candle for your dad and acknowledged your grief. You did well.
Tawny - good for you still going to the gym, especially when hubby is off his meds!!! Great NSV over the cheese
Well... I was 46 miles away from making it to the beach this week I gave it a good go! If it goes this high again, I'll have to try more for earlier in the week. I'm exhausted now, though! Good night, everyone!
IM so fed up.. of the drama in my life.. it just is enough.. IKm not depressed or angry just annoyed.. lol..
i will explain..
I had a what i thought was a very good friend.. i met her about 3 months b4 she got pregnant with her son .. who turned 1 in april.. ( so roughly 2 years ago) she spent 90% of her daylight hours in my house while pregnant and our kids go to the same school.
So about 5 weeks ago was her sons 1st birthday ( im his god mother) and first thing on that morning i got a phone call saying my uncle had died.. and my parents were not here they were somewhere in victoria in the countryside .. so I spent the day trying to contact them . my hubby John was home for his week off at the time too..
I spent the day upset trying to contact my parents and quite stressed out.. John decided we would go out for dinner to settle down a bit.. and we took the kids for a walk after dinner to the boat ramp.. they loved it.. the following morning i finally got in contact with my parents they retruned my missed calls to them.. . We had planned to take the kids to the zoo that day.. we had waited months for the right day .. with Leah being allergic to animals it had to be a day with little wind , not to hot and it had rained the night b4 .. perfect.. had a great time .. Leah didnt even sneeeze.. PERFECT.
So when we get home i have nasty text messages on my phone .. something about i of all people should have rung.. on his birthday i was a ***** and another saying if i couldn't be bothered ringing on his birthday dont bother coming to his party great way to end a friendship.. His party was only 3 days after his birthday.. we had had a small party for him a playgroup too.. and my uncle had died i forgot to ring but.. i apologised and told her what had happened.. ( ones year olds cant talk on the phone anyway lol) So now she doesnt talk to me.. I see her every single day ... and she has told her daughter she is not to talk to me and my son.. Cameron.. they are 7 what does this have to do with the kids??
So now it get complicated.. she ran into another of my friends at the local shops.. told her .. I said her and her friend were drug addicts .. and then she said.. I was a nutcase.. and was having a mental breakdown.. and i was gonna end up in a mental hospital.. said my husband beats me up and that is why he works away .. becuase i kicked him out .. and hes a controll freak and we have a rocky marraige .. oh .. and my kids eat crap off the floor and i let her baby eat crap off my floor too... .. UMM ok,,, none of this is true...
I live in a normal clean family home.. there are toys here and there .. there is a basket in my hall of clean clothes i havent put away yet.. I clean my floors everyday.... (i have two kids hello) , i wash clothes twice a day .. and maybe sometimes.. i leave the dishes for the next morning... im normal..
she on the other hand lives in filth.. you can smell her house from your car on the drive way .. she has made and art form from spagetti sauce on her floor in the lounge.. ( can someone tell me how long that food must have been on the floor to stain vinyl?) He husband sleeps on a dirty quilt on the floor of the 3rd bedroom becuase you cant get into the main bedroom .. becuase of all the junk.. but she climbs over it and sleep in that room.. her husband uses a large shovel to clean up the rubbish off there floor .. and the baby is kept in his cot 24/7 becuase he had eczema so bad his skin bleeds.. and she dresses him in the same filthy clothes for a week.. dryed food ecrusted.. and his pusher.. his blanket is mouldy and the car has as much junk in it as the house.. ( junk being rubbish, old food dryed onto plates and things sitting around the house used nappies and tissues.. all around.. I visted her house maybe 4 times in the 2 year i knew her.. and 3 times were to help her clean up.. Her own parents wont got around there.. she crys all the time and was told by her doctor she is depressed and she got angry at me her husband and the doctor when we agreed.. we were trying to help her.. but its still continues
then she makes up all sorst of things to try and make you feel sorry for her.. Like she said she had no feeling on one entire side of her body.. and then someone was mean to her.. her daughter behaviour problem was becuase of her mum and dad .. or her husband.. not her.. and she doesnt dicapline her.. lets her do all sorst of things to harm the house furniture or other children.. until shes had enough and just lays in to her.. .. She is knida nuts and all the things she said i said.. were things she had said to me .. and other stuff sounds like her.. .. My friends at platgroup think she is trying to turn tham all againest me so i will leave the playgroup.. and she can go.. becuase she wont go anywhere near me.. She has rung here once since.. saying if she hears me mention her name .. she will call the cops.. and found out this was the day after she had said a load of lies about me to my friend at the shops...
So im here to vent really.. but can anyone understand why she is doing this??? i did everythig i could to help her.. why would she be stabbing me in the back ?? I mean she is about 35 its not like shes a kids.. If she was i would understand.. .. but i cant make sense of it all.. is she just unstable?
I had been distancing my self from her for a little while b4 all thid becuase she was ringing me 10+ times a day .. and always in my face annoying me.. because she didnt want to go home.. She would let the baby destroy paper and food in my house and rub it inot my floor and funiture.. throw it all aroung the room and when he got tired she would just leave me with all the mess .. its was getting on my nerves.. and calling me up all the time when i told her i was busy.. and then she would hunt me down.. at the shops and school.. and if i didnt open the front door of my house she would try to come around through the garden.. I would hear her car and take leah into our back room.. So Leah could have some Mummy time.. and then i would tell her i had things to do and she would never leave.. I even vaccumed the entire house , cleaned the batnroom.. and mopped the floors and she followed me around then house as i did it.. OMG LEAVE>>> i asked you to.. .. lol so i was trying to get her to back away.. i need that time to get things done.. like everyone does.. And John was getting annoyed too our food bill had gone up alot becuase we were feeding her too and he'd come home from a hard day at work and she would be here and she would annoy him.. He likes about 20 minutes when he gets in to shower have a cuppa and relax b4 talking about his day.. and she would bug him as he came in.. She was annoying us both .. so i was trying to distance her away.. by telling her i was going out or had an appointment and other things .. So im not upset to loose her as a friend becuase she was far too clingy but to go from that to.. out and out .. nasty things about me.. ???? i dont get it
i know that is very off topic but i found all this stuff she said about me yesterday ... i had to vent .. Today food im not interested and exercise forget it .. TOM is here and he seems to have his foot stuck.. right where it hurts... lol stomcah back and leg cramps would be better then this.. I cant walk i cant sit down.... i cant even Fart without it hurting.. .. So i have had all day to think about the nasty crap.. and felt like i needed to get some of your views on it all ..
Amy, Amy, Amy . . .
Your (ex) friend sounds a lot like my ex-friend. Our (grown) sons were friends and my son was always encouraging me to be friends with his friend's mom. . . and so it happened. At first, it was casual, then more involved. She was buying me things all the time, though I protested. Then the clincher for me, she made a sexual pass at me. I tried to brush it off (I'm totally hetero ) acted like nothing happened. Things cooled off between us and the next thing I learn, she is "dating" my son!!!!!
The things your friend said about you, are the very things you describe as who SHE is! She's putting her trash onto you, unloading her grief into your psyche - so don't allow it to bother you, because SHE is the one with the mental problems.
Anyone who couldn't understand the situation with your uncle dying and the confusion of trying to reach your parents, etc., is extremely immature and selfish. You're better off without the clingy, psych-game *****, so take a deep breath and remember that your REAL friends know who you really are and won't listen to this crap and most likely will see this gal for who she really is.
This article seems to apply here:
Ending friendships if you have bad friends. You might consider ending a friendship if:
You don’t feel respected, and your friend doesn’t seem to hear your concerns. For instance, if they may be constantly late meeting you and then disregard your feelings. Or they borrow money and neglect to repay it, or borrow items and return them broken or not at all. Ending friendships may be healthier for you.
You can’t speak your mind honestly, or can’t find space in the conversation to speak at all (healthy boundaries don't exist). Ending friendships may be the honest way to live.
You leave your visits feeling depressed, frustrated, exhausted, depleted or angry. A friend should leave you feeling happy, content, connected, and hopeful. A bad friend makes you feel bad.
Your friend behaves immorally, unethically, illegally, or in any way that runs counter to your beliefs and values. Ending friendships may be the best thing for both of you.
Your friend never makes the effort to call or visit you. You find yourself reaching out, with minimal success. Sometimes you don't even need to formally end a friendship with bad friends, it just happens naturally. Weak friendships often die a natural death.
You're friends with an energy vampire (a type of bad friend). Ending friendships could protect your well-being.
Sorry you had to go through this Amy - hope some of what I've said helps. Night.
I am back! I was just offline for the last 4 days recovering from a throat infection - I have finished my antibotics and I am feeling better - still have a bit of a cough but at least I am sleeping through the night again.
I am sorry I am not doing personals - I havent read all the posts and it looks as though this thread is nearly finished.
Amy _ I am sorry that person is not treating you nicely but if she was a real friend - I think she would understand. As for the person she spoke to - if she is a real friend she will think nothing of those comments.
I am feeling financial stress severly at the moment - things are really tight - I needed to go grocery shopping - I wrote my list before I went - but as soon as I entered the supermarket I was feeling the start of an anxiety attack and ended up breaking down and crying. I walked to the side of the aisle and pulled myself together, my son was with me and I knew I had to otherwise I would scare him. I breathed in and out and focused on my list - as I was going around the aisles - bread was on sale, I got stir fry fresh vegetable mix reduced because it is to be used by tomorrow. Laundry detergent was also on sale. Anyway my shopping total was $20 cheaper than I prepared for and I was extremely relieved when I walked my groceries to my car.
I have my cousin's wedding next week - I went halves in a wedding gift with my sister - we got her towels off her wedding registry when I went to pick them up today they had 40% off them - another saving moment.
I feel like someone is watching over me and helping ease this burden... I havent turned to food and I dont think I will - I usually do when I feel this way.
Now I need to focus and aim to lose weight this week - I plateaued this week but considering I didnt exercise and I didnt adjust my food plan - I am happy... I will keep the food plan and plan exercise opportunites throughout the week. I have my Reebok step out in the lounge room and used it before I got sick - whilst watching tv - gosh that was a work out - I plan to use it again and do my walks - I will even try getting to the gym later in the week.
Good luck everyone! Hope you have heaps of success!
Dora to be honest i was relieved when she stopped talking to me.. but this talking about me isnt nice.. i hear her talking about me at the kids school to .. to a mum and dad she hardly knows.. i hate to think what she is saying and i know its shouldn't bother me.. but it is very uncomfortable.. I dont have great hearing but i heard my name mentioned serveral times and the husband kept turning around and looking at me..
I think i can understand why my mum cant be bothered making friends lol..
I love having friends.. but i also need my own space.. in that girl wouldnt give me any.. I dont cope when im smothered lol.. and my kids played up when she was here al the time too .. I do feel very relieved to have my life back.. lol .. But its kinda funny that she runs away from me at school.. lol
Vanessa.. im sorry money is so tight.. Thats the whole reason my hubby is working in Nhulumbuy NT.. It was only a coupld of months ago i was in the some position as you.. with the money.. I had a car that hardly run.. no money .. One night i rushed up to coles to get out the last $15 before the bank took it the next day for our morgage.. the rotten car broke down again... I had 2 hungrry kids to feed and a long walk home.. The car had run out of fuel.. that $15 went to buy fuel.. so we could get home.. we ate breakfast cereal for 3 days and then my best friends slipped $100 under my door .. which i payed back later that week .. once Johns first pay finally came in.. I was heart broken when our last 15 went in the car .. i was crying while i filled the cans the refeul the car.. lol .. horrible isnt it..
Amazingly i still have the old car but it is only run maybe twice a month wehn johns comes home and takes it to go fishing .. lol BUt its still is horrible to drive.. The cv joints are going the exhaust smokes into the car the boot leaks .. its chokes as it runs.. the battery doesnt stay charged and the head lights and wipers dont work lol.. its 22 years old so i cant complain lol.. IM just happy i dont have to drive it anymore .. lol
I'm here, I'm here - I've missed so much! Last time I posted was in thread number 3! Eek, it moves fast around here!!
Can add a loss of 1.2lbs to our total losses - not stellar and not quite sure what to do to ramp it up a bit... am going to have a good think and plan my week today so that there is no room for errors.
I'm so close to ONEderland, but at this rate it feels like it will take forever. My mini goal is 198 by end of June, should be more than possible, but there's a part of me that wants it sooner...
Amy - I don't know what to say... I've had toxic friends before but none that actually said horrible things about me once our relationship died out... I can only offer you this
Amy, people who truly know you will know that she is, as you said, "kinda nuts". If someone confronts you about these things, you can simply say, "She has been going through such a rough time lately. I hope she recovers soon." You take the high road; you don't look defensive or vindictive and then people understand this is her issue not hers. If that person goes back to her with what you said, my guess is she will fly into some sort of lunatic rage. The poor person caught in the middle will then get a very clear picture of what has happened.
ugh, ex-friends...I don't get it. I don't get why people do such crazy things. I'm usually on the opposite end; I'm usually the one who continues to reach out and initiate contact when the other isn't reciprocating. It gets depressing. I don't know why others can't be as good a friend as I am, if that makes sense. And I don't mean that to sound conceited or anything, just that I don't think it's very difficult to be understanding and supportive, lend an ear, and take the initiative to reach out once in a while. I still keep in touch with some friends from high school even though we're all very spread out geographically now, and they're not the friends I would have thought I'd have kept in touch with because those who were my "best" friends in high school didn't keep up their end when we went off to college.
Anyway, I'm babbling...Amy, I hope things work out. Sounds like she's got a lot going on that she doesn't want to face, so she's turning her frustrations around on you. I agree with others--anyone who hears her ranting about you will likely see that she's just crazy
As for financial struggles, I think we've all been there. Mine were when I was single, living alone, no kids, no pets--you'd think that would be the easiest time to control expenses and be able to sort things out, but I got a bit in over my head with the rent of my apartment I had moved to a new area (northern VA from Va Beach), and rents were sky high. I ended up picking up a second job. I would get up at 5am, work my full-time desk job from 6am-2pm, hit the gym for an hour between jobs, work at Ruby Tuesday from 4pm until whenever I got cut. I would usually get home between 10pm and midnight, walking the door, strip my smoke-and-grease-smelling clothes off, jump in the shower, and crawl into bed, only to get up at 5am the next morning to do it again. Onthe good side, I was losing weight pretty easily since I was waitressing, which is a lot of hard work, and never had time to eat But I was completely drained both physically and mentally. Luckily, I earned myself a sizable raise at my full-time job and was able to cut back on my hours at Ruby's. I ended up quitting Ruby's eventually and had a part-time editing job that I could do from home. Major tothose of you struggling financially with children in your lives. I can't imagine how tough it is to keep a strong front for them. Everything will work out in the end
Well, we finally got our deck power washed yesterday (hurray!), but there are still some green and black mildew spots, so we hit Home Depot last night and bought some mildew stain remover stuff. Once we get the green out, we'll be able to seal it. We bought a tinted sealer so we don't have to both stain AND seal it, and we paid the extra for the "Premium" line, which says it is guaranteed for 6 years on decks. With any luck, there's truth in that advertising, and we won't have to worry about our deck ever again (since we plan on moving out in about 4-5 years).
Other than that,I think I went a bit overboard in helping out with this party I'm going to later. I said I would make a fruit salad and a tossed salad. Well, I made 2 HUGE bowls of fruit salad, 2 containers of tossed salad (with croutons and tomatoes on the side for those who want them), and I bought 4 different kinds of salad dressing for people to choose from (none containing HFCS--I think I spent about 10 minutes just in the salad dressing aisle!). Well, then I decided to do deviled eggs as well since I had some eggs that needed to be used up. I used my Pampered Chef "Easy Accent Decorator" to fill them so they are very pretty And then I made an easy pineapple cake (box of white cake mix and can of crushed pineapple) and frosted with the can of frosting I had bought for a binge the other night and never ate. I ended up eating some of the frosting while I was frosting the cake, but other than that, everything went very nicely. I was up until just after midnight, so we woke up late this morning--we're usually up betwen 5 and 6 to feed the puppies and take them out, but today we didn't get up until about 7:30 when Bean started barking
I'm just babbling now. I've got laundry to do and dishes to put away and a party to go to, so I hope everyone has a great Sunday! And congrats on the losses as we come to a close on Week 3--we're doing great!!!
amouse- you made a healthy choice for your family and sanity,I think that is something to celebrate.
she is unstable, good thing you are recognizing it and by making the changes with playgroup the others in the playgroup will see it more clearly as well. I am sorry that you have lost out with that and have to hear about the gossip at the shops but I think it is for the short run. I think so because you are not there for her to use you as fuel and those she is in contact will soon see her as an albatross.
faerie - great effort and I think you will make it to the next beach! I find it tough too - I just made it but only because I ripped a shrub out yesterday, lol.
jillybeanhi ya - I think that is the new englander coming out in you! lol (I think I recall you saying you were from my area) I also hope you tell us how the party went - beautiful day here!
blue team is the best!
Last edited by trailgroomer; 05-18-2008 at 08:56 AM.
jillybeanhi ya - I think that is the new englander coming out in you! lol (I think I recall you saying you were from my area) I also hope you tell us how the party went - beautiful day here!
hehe, yup, born nd raised on the Massachusetts border in Connecticut! It was gorgeous here yesterday, but I see 80% chance of rain with possibly strong thunderstorms today. Fun
chellez - just want to thank you for keeping all this going - the challenge, team, beach time, chat pages - I really appreciate the numbers for the beach challenge so early- I am off to earn another pair of shoes!
it's round up/brace for the spring-summer party circuit - I noticed that some of you have already started... so I have a question -
[SIZE="7"]how do you plan around the food choices at showers, barbecues, weddings, anniversary parties? esp. the party drinks?[/SIZE]
jillbeanI'm pretty close to the border as well - but I am sure that your friends will appreciateyour effort for this party! blue team is great!
Last edited by trailgroomer; 05-18-2008 at 09:09 AM.
I shouldn't be online. I have a guy coming in an hour to rototill my garden, and I still have a bit of work to do on it before he gets here. But, I really really wish my gym was open on Sundays! I guess gardening will be a good workout today, and I'll do Yoga Booty Ballet later, but I really wanted to do the elliptical.
I thought I'd share some gardening pictures with you all. These are the beds I've been working on this past week.
This spot was a patch of dirt and weeds when we moved in. There was a bush there before that the previous owners ripped out, and just left it as a dirt spot, so I used bricks and lava rocks and then I planted mini-roses there.
This is the start of my "Mary" garden. My cousin Mary was murdered last year by her husband. Her favorite color is purple and consequently it's the color of domestic violence too. I'd like to put a purple gazing ball in there when I can afford it. For now there is morning glory, delphinium, lupine, iris, false indigo, balloon flower, siberian iris, & some october daphne.
And I picked this up at a garage sale for $2! Can you believe it? I think I'm going to pot my herbs in it.
Have a great day everyone!!
Last edited by vertigoskyy; 05-18-2008 at 09:11 AM.
veritigoskyy - wow - gardens look beautiful - excellent memory garden - and that angel for the herbs is sweet.
I should be outside right now mowing and preparing to plant too.
I have more of a spring time floral pattern here - for the summer I have veg gardens and window boxes for flowers. I also have flowering shrubs and some perennials. It's a great time of year!
to all who are struggling, because i know it could very well be me.
There are a total of 6 bedrooms here, so several could come at once even. 
everywhere, hmmm . . . .
I gave it a good go! If it goes this high again, I'll have to try more for earlier in the week. I'm exhausted now, though! Good night, everyone!
.. lol
But I was completely drained both physically and mentally. Luckily, I earned myself a sizable raise at my full-time job and was able to cut back on my hours at Ruby's. I ended up quitting Ruby's eventually and had a part-time editing job that I could do from home. Major 
And then I made an easy pineapple cake (box of white cake mix and can of crushed pineapple) and frosted with the can of frosting I had bought for a binge the other night and never ate. I ended up eating some of the frosting while I was frosting the cake, but other than that, everything went very nicely. I was up until just after midnight, so we woke up late this morning--we're usually up betwen 5 and 6 to feed the puppies and take them out, but today we didn't get up until about 7:30 when Bean started barking 
blue team is the best!
I really appreciate the numbers for the beach challenge so early- I am off to earn another pair of shoes! 
